10 things i learned about moscow(russia) (1685 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.84 on 58 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kracka (View user info) at 2005-12-27 22:50:48 EST
1. in 2 weeks you will only see about 3 black people and those you do see are from africa.
2. because #1 is true all the other people will stare at you.
3. lines on the road are not really there. you can fit 7 cars when there are only four lanes painted on the road.
4. ciggarettes are cheap in russia. a little over a dollar a pack for malboros.
5. there is no such thing as a taxi system. you basically hitch a ride from someone going the same way you are going.
6. if you don't now russian your "taxi" driver will go on for days talking to you in russian like you know russian even after you told him in what little russian you know you don't know russian.
7. everyone is an alcoholic.
8. because #7 is true do not challenge a russian to drink vodka. any other liquor and you might be alright but you mess with the vodka that is your ass mr. postman
9. going clubbing is an experience. you go to the club about 9pm, have dinner, a live band, a strip show, more live band then dance till about 7 in the morning. this goes on every night.
10. i look good in one of those russian hat thingies.
User Reviews
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-12-30 05:49:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-12-28 11:11:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2005-12-28 10:03:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
peon i had never been and wanted to go. so i went.
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Cool. I hear nobody gives a shit if people have sex in public there. See any good shit like that?
Now THAT would be a kodak moment.
Oh... Is it true the chicks are hotter there?
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Oh fuck yes it's true. As a race. the russian women are the hottest I've seen, and I've been around a bit.
+2 for going to Russia. St Petersburg is much nicer than Moscow, but they're both cool in their own way.
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2005-12-29 19:12:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-29 19:00:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you rock extra hard - post more tales of your exploits in Russia - I get tired of the samo-samo Americo-centric shite that gets posted here.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-12-29 13:07:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That hat is downright DAPPER.
You don't have to go all the way to Moscow to not find black people, there are also no black people in northern California. It's true and a bit freaky. It's not something that you notice right away but then after a couple of days you start looking at people suspiciously wondering what they did with all their black people. It just ain't natral.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-12-28 19:40:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good? you look downright sassy!
Submitted by Clark_Kent (user info) at 2005-12-28 18:56:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree. Same thing happened here http://www.ubersite.com/m/81643
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-12-28 15:50:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Russians are the spirit-ual brothers of Scotland.
Do you SEE what i did there?! It was a DRINKING joke! Because both countries are famous for boozing I AM TEH FUNNY AHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAA!
I die now!
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-12-28 14:13:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
8. because #7 is true do not challenge a russian to drink vodka
______________
Man, they drink that shit like it's water over there.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-28 14:07:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome!
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-12-28 13:58:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-12-28 13:52:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:55:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:27:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-28 08:39:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-28 08:23:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY!
How did you get into Tetris?
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-12-28 13:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Learn anything about mail order brides while you were there? Guy I used to work with had one from Moscow.
Glad you're still around.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-12-28 13:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Strastvui, kak dyla?
I wish Uber supported Cyrillic...
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-28 11:57:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome! we plan to go to Russia in August- I've got to the stage of looking for flights and stuff- will you email me with some good places to go and where you stayed? uberc1ndy.at.gmail.com !
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-12-28 11:11:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2005-12-28 10:03:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
peon i had never been and wanted to go. so i went.
-----------------
Cool. I hear nobody gives a shit if people have sex in public there. See any good shit like that?
Now THAT would be a kodak moment.
Oh... Is it true the chicks are hotter there?
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-28 10:59:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Affirmative action +2
How did you deal with the cold? That's why everyone is a fucking alchy there.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-12-28 10:43:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't challenge Mexicans with tequila either, just in case you ever have the inclination... This is a game I lost. Badly.
I thought kracka had disappeared forever.
+2 for fnally posting after three months
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-12-28 10:35:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kick ass.
Winter in Red Square.
Now, is it true that all the rock concerts they've had there since the fall of the Commies have started to damage the buildings?
I heard that, and I don't know where...
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2005-12-28 10:26:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:54:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-27 22:52:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because i like lists.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2005-12-28 10:06:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
3/4 oz coffee liqueur
1 1/2 oz vodka
Pour ingredients over ice cubes in an old-fashioned glass and serve.
Just FYI.
That's a Black Russian for ya.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2005-12-28 10:03:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
peon i had never been and wanted to go. so i went.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:59:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So did the military send you there or are you there to buy a wifey?
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:55:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:27:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-28 08:39:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-28 08:23:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY!
How did you get into Tetris?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:54:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-27 22:52:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because i like lists.
Submitted by el_em_en_oh (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:41:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I envy you...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:33:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah but did the africans understand that you do not speak russian?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-28 08:39:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-28 08:23:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY!
How did you get into Tetris?
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:17:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
evil gav - these are things i learned which meant i participated in them. vodka i got my ass whooped the next night i went with rum and whooped ass. i would never make an assumption
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-28 08:39:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-28 08:23:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY!
How did you get into Tetris?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-28 08:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY!
How did you get into Tetris?
Submitted by feckarse (user info) at 2005-12-28 07:38:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
True, you DO look good in a russian hat.
MMMmm... easten european fetish...
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-12-28 07:35:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
40 acres and a +2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-12-28 07:27:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-12-28 06:53:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
moscow(russia)
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-12-28 05:37:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-12-28 04:59:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-12-28 04:58:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I must blake you."
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-28 03:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"That Brown Sound sure do get around."
-Dave
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2005-12-28 02:16:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
11- They don't sell grape Nehi
12- They don't sell Newports
13- They won't sell me
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2005-12-28 02:12:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bob .... it's St. Basil's Cathedral isn't it?
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-28 01:52:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As a small white girl, I will be sure to keep numbers 1 and 2 in mind next time I visit Russia.
Submitted by EvilGav (user info) at 2005-12-28 00:39:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for assuming they can out-drink you with Vodka. Did you even try ???!??!?!?!????
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-12-28 00:33:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-12-28 00:19:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you go see Lenin ?
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-12-28 00:15:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bob ; Is that the Kremlin ?
And i have to +2 a brother , not many blacks over there eh ?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-12-27 23:56:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this +2 is to counteract the jealousy I feel because of this post.
I wanna....
Oh, nevermind. Let's just say I don't know that I'd look that good in that hat thingy.
Submitted by Douglas (user info) at 2005-12-27 23:50:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-12-27 23:26:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2005-12-27 23:03:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
That building behind you looks like a bad shroom trip!
_____________
please tell me you know what building is, right?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-12-27 23:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
are packs of wild dogs still running around?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-12-27 23:14:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My folks go to Russia every other year or so. Everything you learned is absolutely true.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-12-27 23:11:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damn fine hat.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-12-27 23:09:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just can't help myself...
In Mother Russia, vodka drink YOU!
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2005-12-27 23:03:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That building behind you looks like a bad shroom trip!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-12-27 23:01:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for Russian smokes
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2005-12-27 23:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude... why not just grow out an afro, and you'll have a year-round "russian hat thingy".
I would if I could
Submitted by RePet (user info) at 2005-12-27 22:58:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to wonder if you have your own hip flask yet.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-12-27 22:54:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Boy, Kracka- you sure are a globetrotter. And I don't mean in the Meadowlark Lemon way, either.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-27 22:52:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because i like lists.