Loki at Christmas or I know You're Here Uncle Dean (1051 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.57 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by AshK <alkite at gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-12-28 11:59:25 EST
Uber users are everywhere. Not in a "everyone is watching me, I know they are reading my brain waves, their eyes make me itch" sort of way, they are literally everywhere. I know this because there was more than one Uberer at my Cousin's house Monday night. I know this beyond a shadow of a doubt. I know this both on and off my medication. And, quite frankly, it pisses me off. I am the Uber user damnit, ME! Not my hairy, drunk Uncle Dean.
It all started at dinner when what I suppose is a cute kitten waltzed out of the kitchen and hopped up in my son's lap. We were all a bit surprised, as my cousin's husband generally considers any feline a prime candidate for target practice. So, my son asks the obvious 11 year-old question.. "What's target practice's name?" and my cousin replies "Loki" followed by a long explanation of Loki's role in mythology and whatnot. Mind numbingly long. Eye glazingly long. I'm blaming the shittiness of this post on that horrifically long monologue during which my Gramma fell asleep. Twice. And snored. No shit.
After the speech my hairy, half drunk uncle looks at my boy and says, "Don't buy that shit, Loki is a pot smoking accountant and her dogs would eat that damn cat."
There is NO WAY that was a coincidence. How many pot smoking, dog loving accountants called Loki can there be?
So, Uber, my question is: which one of you bastards is Uncle Dean?
Let me head of the Shennanigans commentary. If this was shennanigans, I certainly would have spiced it up and made it more entertaining, maybe added some buttsex or something.
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:34:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/81623#1760319
I read this the day you posted it. Did you ever solve the mystery?
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2006-03-01 14:08:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for the stupid picture. If the bag was sealed over the cat then you would get a -1 because this is stupid.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-01 13:50:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-03-01 10:59:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
I work for WMCI out of Mattoon, IL and we are kicking off our fundraiser this month, our radioathon is at the end of the month.
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Hahaha...thanks Ash, now I'm gonna call the station every day and bug the snot out of you! :)
"Our next request, "Who Are You", goes out to Method from CaptainThorns...you're listening to WMCI..."
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-01-05 13:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It was meeeeeee
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-29 18:32:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
get a button that says "-2 DIE" and wear it.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-28 23:47:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Ash, you have *no* idea the depths of depravity that I am fully capable of sinking to.
And ENJOYING them.
Submitted by Clark_Kent (user info) at 2005-12-28 18:54:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree. Same thing happened here http://www.ubersite.com/m/81643
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-12-28 16:07:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Same sorta thing happened w/me and one of my brothers. I swore him to Uber secrecy.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-12-28 15:53:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-28 13:57:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehehe. Imagine what will happen when he realizes who was behind some of the more debauched exchanges you've had with various people.
Especially if he's been turned on by them.
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You always know just what to say to make me feel like a dirty dirty whore.
er....
What?!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-12-28 15:20:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry Sweetie, I didn't mean to let the cat out of the bag.
I hope this never happens to me.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-12-28 14:16:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-28 13:57:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehehe. Imagine what will happen when he realizes who was behind some of the more debauched exchanges you've had with various people.
Especially if he's been turned on by them.
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That's just wrong. But, since it will make a good post, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-28 13:57:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehehe. Imagine what will happen when he realizes who was behind some of the more debauched exchanges you've had with various people.
Especially if he's been turned on by them.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-12-28 13:27:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
why didn't you ask him?
i guess that post wouldn't be as good.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-28 13:26:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-28 13:18:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-12-28 13:05:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's fucked up.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:31:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba2987534521
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:27:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Weird.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:25:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I would not be comfortable with that at all. You must destroy him.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:25:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oops. Meant Teeph!!
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:25:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tiger--I've done the same, but the friends that I think would be a great asset to the uberworld, just--dont do it. Frustration!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:21:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwwwwwww. *I* was going to say that *I* was your uncle Dean!
Dag nab it.
You have the exact opposite problem that I do. I've tried to get friends and . . . well, just friends really, to try Uber. None of them ever sign up. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:19:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Titmouse.
That is all.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:19:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ash--it's me Uncle Dean.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:18:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm famous or perhaps infamous.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:17:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:04:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so gullible at one in the morning. I believe every word you just said.
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Change "one in the morning" to "ten in the morning" and we're right there...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:17:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not me.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:15:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's me.
Ha ha. That's funny. I wonder when my Universe and my Uberverse will collide.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:14:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well i'm the only one i know unless i've passed on links.
Submitted by el_em_en_oh (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:10:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's not me.
(and that was pretty DAMN funny!)
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:09:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
true or not, that's pretty funny.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-12-28 12:04:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so gullible at one in the morning. I believe every word you just said.