The English Suck (1333 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.02 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <ilikeyoghurt.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-12-30 05:33:51 EST
Why are we English so shit at coping with anything other than overcast skies and drizzle?
As soon as the sun comes out it's "too hot," and every single one of us gets sunburned and ends up looking like a spanked arse, the roads melt and all the trains break down.
As soon as there's an inch of snow (or 1/4 inch as there was on two days ago) all the cars crash into each other, all the trains de-rail and all the idiots go and buy every single loaf of bread and pint of milk on the shelves - case in point, my housemates mom asked her to go and get another pint of milk on her way round for dinner as they "only have 4 in the fridge."
This happens every year! Surely the idiots in government would have realised by now that this happens every year, without exception, and they should perhaps invest in things like more grit lorries and trains that work in the wet and heat (or just plain work in general).
Hell, the French cope with this shit all the time, and they're French! We could learn a lot from our cheese-eating, work-shy continental cousins.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-01-14 13:42:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you're
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-01-14 13:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's because your weak.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-01-14 13:30:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-12-30 14:45:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
ha ha the English DO suck
Love The Taste of Monkeys:Born Aberdeen,Scotland which according to Homer Simpson, rocks. So there!
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Me too... never heard Homer Simpson Simpson talk about the Granite City though...
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-01-14 13:28:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not the best of posts, but how can I not +2 a title like that?
Submitted by Garrik (user info) at 2006-01-14 13:12:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I am english, I wear a suit at all times, drink tea whilst twiddling my monacle and enjoy going to the races to watch the phillies.
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-12-31 10:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Technoboy (user info) at 2005-12-31 07:04:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-30 12:02:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
English people say 'Mum' not 'Mom'
(Cindy, northerners aren't real people. They're like oompaloompas or women footballers)
Also, 1/4 inch would be 6mm, but that's just being picky
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Northerners aren't real? Ah, finally, an explanation as to why women in clubs seem to look straight through me.
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and why I get ignored at customer service desks.
Submitted by EvilGav (user info) at 2005-12-31 08:24:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
+2 for stating the obvious
-2 for not realising the government run Britain, not just England and it sucks in Scotland too
-2 for stating the French are better than the English
Submitted by Technoboy (user info) at 2005-12-31 07:04:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-30 12:02:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
English people say 'Mum' not 'Mom'
(Cindy, northerners aren't real people. They're like oompaloompas or women footballers)
Also, 1/4 inch would be 6mm, but that's just being picky
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Northerners aren't real? Ah, finally, an explanation as to why women in clubs seem to look straight through me.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-30 15:49:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-12-30 14:45:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ha ha the English DO suck
Love The Taste of Monkeys:Born Aberdeen,Scotland which according to Homer Simpson, rocks. So there!
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-12-30 14:11:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-12-30 13:40:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"case in point, my housemates mom asked her to go and get another pint of milk on her way round for dinner as they "only have 4 in the fridge."
Seems sensible enough to me. Seriously dude, when the apocalypse comes, you'll be glad of those extra cups of tea.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-30 13:29:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bread and milk???
More like beer and pizza.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-12-30 13:07:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Doing an English alter on a site wit loads of brits ad you ddn't think to check your shit?
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-30 12:02:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
English people say 'Mum' not 'Mom'
(Cindy, northerners aren't real people. They're like oompaloompas or women footballers)
Also, 1/4 inch would be 6mm, but that's just being picky
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-12-30 11:43:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-30 11:09:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A passing lorry has clipped me noggin.
Indeed.
‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-12-30 10:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2005-12-30 09:37:32 (#)
Ranking: 1
Pints of milk? Why not gallons? I thought you were all metric anyway?
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It never took hold with liquids. even though the bottles say half a litre, we still refer to them as pints. Beer is about the only thing that can still legally be sold in imperial measures though. I'd hate to have to go into a pub and order half a litre of best bitter instead of my normal pint. not that I've been to a pub in ages... humpf.
Finally, over here the largest bottle of milk you can get is about 6 pints, so no gallon bottles available I'm afraid. I'm not sure they'd fit in our tiny fridges. 6 pints barely fits in mine.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-30 09:46:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This happens in the US as well. It goes to show that idiocy is a global thing. And I always thought the Brits were a sensible lot.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2005-12-30 09:37:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pints of milk? Why not gallons? I thought you were all metric anyway?
Submitted by el_em_en_oh (user info) at 2005-12-30 09:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AUTO +2 for bagging on the french... "cheese-eating, work-shy continental cousins"
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-12-30 09:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Mom? Mam?
In Oz it's Mum. Pure and phonetical.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-30 09:13:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought running to the store and buying up all the milk and bread when the weatherman calls for snow was just a Pennsylvania thing.
Submitted by Technoboy (user info) at 2005-12-30 08:19:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-30 06:54:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-30 06:51:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
that's an 'accent' c1ndy.
your mongoloid gruntings don't count as an accent, but if your friend from Wolverhampton was to write it, assuming you didn't meet him in the special lessons you have and he does indeed have arms, I am fairly sure he would write 'mum'.
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I'll ask him next time I see him. Good job you are here to pint out the finer points of linguistics for me Apollo.
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Actually, up north, it's Mam. The only people up north who say mom are 15 year old girls who also constantly say 'like' 'whatever' and listen to the spice girls.
Submitted by ilikeyoghurt (user info) at 2005-12-30 07:36:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
To clear up the "mum" / "mom" thing, I was raised in foreign parts and some of the accent and verbal oddities come through now and again. You can now relax, safe in the knowledge that it's irrelevant to the fact that England smokes pole.
Submitted by Gibbo (user info) at 2005-12-30 07:03:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Totally agree, I was going to wrtie something like this myself today but it rained and all the snow has melted by me so it kind of lost its edge and I didn't bother. What does annoy me still though is why idiots in 4x4's drive 10-15mph under the speed limit when the vehicles are designed to handle these conditions, even though its still safe to drive at the normal speed limit!!!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-30 06:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-30 06:51:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
that's an 'accent' c1ndy.
your mongoloid gruntings don't count as an accent, but if your friend from Wolverhampton was to write it, assuming you didn't meet him in the special lessons you have and he does indeed have arms, I am fairly sure he would write 'mum'.
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I'll ask him next time I see him. Good job you are here to pint out the finer points of linguistics for me Apollo.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-30 06:51:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
that's an 'accent' c1ndy.
your mongoloid gruntings don't count as an accent, but if your friend from Wolverhampton was to write it, assuming you didn't meet him in the special lessons you have and he does indeed have arms, I am fairly sure he would write 'mum'.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-30 06:35:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-12-30 05:39:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
English people don't say 'mom'
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they do up North. My friend Kev from Wolverhampton says it.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-12-30 06:27:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
public sector apathy bud - its a highly contagious virus that by the looks of your post you've already caught.
Submitted by Philst82 (user info) at 2005-12-30 05:53:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I agree, but more content required.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-12-30 05:39:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
English people don't say 'mom'