Sonnet 12: But soft, what wind through puckered butthole breaks (1096 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: sonnets
Rating: 1.96 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2005-12-30 15:08:13 EST
But soft, what wind through yonder butthole breaks,
And, breaking, doth permit mine nostrils flare?
From head to foot I feel my body shake,
I know that this hath stained my underwear.
Caress my senses with your petals, bloom'd,
As I, a roving bee, do taste your buds.
Sweet bouquet! Colon musk potent, well groomed!
Augean stables, nasal, cleanse with flood
Of elemental air dense with meatwaste,
Processed cheese long worked by acid and bile,
I revel in it, play, the stench embrace,
A man so loves his own - it makes me smile.
My product, birthed, has quite a lot to say:
Like what I had for breakfast yesterday.
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:56:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Santa Voltage drops in to pay a visit to the little boys and girls.
HERE'S A +2 LITTLE ONES! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! HO HO HO!
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:40:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES! GO HOKIES!
Submitted by minimumdino (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:28:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
where is my uber?
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2006-01-01 11:40:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-12-31 17:26:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know that this hath stained my underwear.
I nearly pissed myself, thanks.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2005-12-31 16:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Only you could make a fart sound like a thing of beauty.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-31 16:26:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-31 13:41:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that I've seen the O-man use his powers in an immature manner, I have a request:
I request an Orgasmatron review on http://www.ubersite.com/m/71536.
---
NOW that you've seen...? Tread through some of my older stuff. It's all there.
And consider the post reviewed.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-31 13:54:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-12-31 08:47:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-31 13:41:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that I've seen the O-man use his powers in an immature manner, I have a request:
I request an Orgasmatron review on http://www.ubersite.com/m/71536.
P.S. Recently, I uncovered the copy of this poem that was turned in and realized that the form is called a Pantoum.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-12-31 09:53:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Vegas, baby. Vegas.
You in?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/81666
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-12-31 08:47:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-31 08:36:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-12-31 08:22:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
butthole! auto +2.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-31 06:30:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
super sonnet
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2005-12-31 05:48:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good is overrated. Thanks to Petrarch and Shakespeare, there are hundreds of sonnets about love and adoration. What of the lesser trappings of life? Where now, the odes to beer burps? Where now, the tribute to peeing after a really good bout of sex? Where now, the songs about road rage and breaking in a new baseball hat?
Gone, gone away, retired to the west as an aging couple to the warmer climes of Florida.
But I shall bring them back.
I will bring them all back.
----------------
hell
yes
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-31 03:43:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you've made shakespeare more obviously raunchy. huzzah.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2005-12-31 03:39:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-30 16:12:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep up the Dick and Fart Jokes.
-Dave
-------------
yep.
Submitted by snagglepuss (user info) at 2005-12-31 01:53:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What's next.....
"All the breath and the bloom of the year in the sack of one scrote....." ??????
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-12-30 19:20:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was once in a bar with a buddy and we hit the head to piss.
The incredibly long and voluminous stream that came out of me offered such relief I yelled, "That was a piss worthy of a song."
I looked over and saw that my buddy had already left the bathroom and some guy I didn't know was edging away from me.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-30 19:09:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yon Orgasmatron has a lean and hungry look,
He thinks too much; such men are dangerous.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-12-30 19:09:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
CAN ANYONE GIVE ME AN ANSWER AS TO WHO WON THE VIRGINIA/MINNESOTA GAME?!?!?!?
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-12-30 17:44:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
who the?! what the!? when the FUCK, did you become so bitchin???
RIGHT.ON.MAN.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-12-30 17:23:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
he is dangerous this Orgasmatron
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2005-12-30 17:17:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1.4, actually.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-12-30 17:16:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thine sonnets doth bring mine heart to flutter and sing.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-12-30 17:09:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Love me, you literary master.
Submitted by ledastwins (user info) at 2005-12-30 16:58:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-30 16:48:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-12-30 16:36:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate to be the one to break this to you but you are NOT using your powers for good.
---
Good is overrated. Thanks to Petrarch and Shakespeare, there are hundreds of sonnets about love and adoration. What of the lesser trappings of life? Where now, the odes to beer burps? Where now, the tribute to peeing after a really good bout of sex? Where now, the songs about road rage and breaking in a new baseball hat?
Gone, gone away, retired to the west as an aging couple to the warmer climes of Florida.
But I shall bring them back.
I will bring them all back.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-12-30 16:47:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know that this hath stained my underwear.
_______________________
That's the sign of a ripe one. I assume you just caused a scene just like in the toon?
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2005-12-30 16:45:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't like this much as much as I like your other stuff but you're still Orgasmatron so whatever.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-12-30 16:36:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate to be the one to break this to you but you are NOT using your powers for good.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-30 16:26:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Slow as molasses running out of the ass of a dead hooker, chained underwater to the bottom of a mobster's frozen swimming pool.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-30 16:12:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep up the Dick and Fart Jokes.
-Dave
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-30 16:07:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Slow day on uber today, huh?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-30 16:06:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-30 16:03:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
gross.
And wonderful.
I love you.
---
It occurred to me after I'd posted it that I could have used it for 'What's in a Name: FartSmeller." And yet, it's the obvious route to go, so I'm glad I didn't.
When I get to you, I'll simply have to come up with something a bit more devious.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-30 16:03:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
gross.
And wonderful.
I love you.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-30 15:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-12-30 15:26:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Easily recognizable by title. Bravo.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-12-30 15:19:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-12-30 15:15:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was rolling from the title alone. Really I was. I leaned back too far in my chair and fell over.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-30 15:08:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Good job, O...way to update the first line to match the title.