Fuck New Year's. (858 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.85 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (View user info) at 2006-01-02 11:29:19 EST
Happy New Year.
A statement aimed at all who would accept it and retracted from those that would deny. I had a New Year's party on Saturday. I cleaned, cooked and prepped for the event in the hopes that the turnout would be good and it was. I believe that at peak, 40 people were present in my 1200 sq. ft. apartment.
I invited quite a few people and the place was rife with crashers, too.
At first, I was having a great time. Laughter filled the rooms. A beer was in every hand as we all celebrated the closing of yet one more year.
In retrospect, I should have invited my neighbors. I was so concerned with the possibility that the police would arrive that I began policing the party to limit noise as people under 21 were present (only 3 and one was my brother).
It still amazes me to this day the lack of couth that some people demonstrate. Let me put this into perspective:
I never sleep well. Never have. Probably never will. Friday evening, I did NOT sleep well. Blanket statement of a fact, bluntly stated to state the status of my sleeping. Saturday morning, I wake to begin preparation. I spend close to $300.00 for food, alcohol and party supplies.
I clean all of the public rooms in my apartment, only to know that they will be trashed before night's end. I asked that people bring a dish of a party type food for communal consumption, only to be denied that request by all except one person. No worries. Money doesn't mean that much to me and the food didn't run out.
When inside the apartment, voices can be slightly heard outside. It wasn't that bad. I don't allow smoking in my house. Being a smoker myself, I have strategically placed a butt can outside, on the patio, near the door. Yet, in a magically mystifying manner, cigarette butts are strewn about the patio and grass all within close proximity of my domicile.
Every time that one person stepped outside to smoke, twelve more would follow suit making the noise outside of the apartment at a level that would warrant more attention being drawn to our gala event. I ask that people quiet down and my request is brushed off. By my close friends, nonetheless.
Back inside the house, certain people are screaming and carrying on. My roommate is of no help because he has consumed around 10 car-bombs, by this time. A very weird scenario, as I am usually the drunken one. I ask that people quiet down and am blown off, again.
Time to throw everyone out. It's after 2am and I am tired. A bunch of people went to a bar and told me that they were coming back. I told them they'll be coming back to a locked door. They go anyway even though their plans revolved around crashing on my floor. Two people readying themselves for sleep on my floor will not permit me the use of my bedroom for sleeping purposes, wrestling me away from the hallway leading to my bedroom. I ask that they call the others planning to sleep at my place to find out when they are coming back. I don't want anyone to get a DUI, even though my thoughts lie in the poisoning of reservoirs stage.
Upon getting into my bed, I toss and I turn. Hearing voices in my living room is not permitting me to sleep. Further agitation and anger. Thoughts of calling the police and having the persons in my living room locked away in jail cell, being butt-raped make me smile. I doze off, dreaming of murdering puppies.
RING. RIIIIINNNNNNGGGG!! Telephone at 4:30am. Eyes broken. Cannot see, yet I grab for my knife and stab outwards at imaginary causes of agitation. Unlock the door?! Why?! People coming back?! I warned of this?! Urge to stab growing. Anger mounting. Hulk smash.
I unlock the door and stump my pinky toe on floor molding. Just realized that I have heat vision and I melt two people sleeping on couches. Smile all over my body. I stumble back to my bed.
My eyes closed and just before sleep, I hear several voices. I distinguish physical voices from the voices in my head urging me to murder. I step out of my bedroom. SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Quiet happens. Sleep comes. I invent a suicide machine in one of the more peaceful dreams that I have ever had.
Early morning. I hear voices. I roll over. Moments later, a fat man. In my bed. Grab knife. Fat man runs out. Many giggles. Anger's back. I lock the door and try desperately to fall back to sleep.
It doesn't happen. I need to wait until that fat man leaves. He is one of my closest friends, but I want to kill him so bad right now that I should be committed.
Happy New Year's!
Resolution: Never have another party again.
User Reviews
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2006-01-03 01:40:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had to work a private party at my bar: $50 premium all you can drink and eat all night.
Some of the most obnoxious fuckers I've ever seen, such as when I handed a person an ashtray and he proceeded to put his butt out on the carpet. We gave everyone a champagne toast about 8 minutes before midnight and the same 3 dicks kept counting down early. Once people realized this they wanted another glass and since its open bar, we kept pouring the sweet and putrid shit. Funny thing was that at the end of the night we ended up cleaning up more full champagne cups than anything.
The good part was when I got to drink all the Jameson whiskey I could.
Banga
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-01-03 01:13:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can sympathise. I live in a semi-detached house that shares a wall with an elderly man. He's cool and doesn't ever complain about noise when there's a party, but I don't like to take advantage of it too much. Usually when 2AM hits, I'll start turning the music down to an acceptable level. But it always seems to sneak it's way back up when I go for another drink. And of course there's always one drunk idiot that screams "Ah FACK! I LOVE thish shong!" And cranks it up to 11. When I try to explain that there's a very nice old man trying to sleep next door and it's 4:30 AM, I'm met with "But it'sh *insert band name here*! They can't be played quiet!" Listen here, fuckface. Imagine you're in bed, very tired and it's the middle of the night. You'd love to get some sleep but you hear bass thumping through a wall thin enough to hear a polite cough through. Would you accept "They can't be played quiet! It'sh *insert band name here*!!" as an acceptable excuse? Didn't think so.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-02 21:27:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
People are rude, bitchy, whining assholes. Then they start drinking...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-02 21:24:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hope it's all true.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2006-01-02 21:13:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Next year, host your party at the Shady Rest Retirement Home.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2006-01-02 16:20:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like hosting parties but I like the aftermath of 'other people' hosting parties
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-01-02 16:14:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i threw a party.
i threw up and passed out around 2am, then everyone left.
:(
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-01-02 16:08:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah, Dave's always invited.
Oh, you mean the people that are telling me that I suck, should have been aborted, etc, etc. Yeah, I would invite them anyway. I didn't even turn away crashers and they were the most well-behaved. Those people can call me a piece of shit all day long but I know it's not true.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2006-01-02 15:43:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, now you know who not to invite to your next party
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Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-01-02 15:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Always a mistake to host the party, particularly when large numbers are involved.
You can never truly relax.
-Dave
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2006-01-02 14:09:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You sound like a fucking vage mate. I dont know anyone who isnt a fag who tells thier guests to bring food. No one cool brings food to a party, because it makes them look like homos; you get them to bring booze.
As for chucking them out at 2am so you can sleep, well thats just stone cold faggotry right there. A good party shouldn't end until people are staggering out then its dawn. and a host making people to smoke outside just looks like an asshole.
Did you make people use coasters and mind thier language too?
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-01-02 12:57:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't want silence, but I didn't want screaming either. I was more irritated that when I asked others to quiet down, no one listened. After I went out of my way to make sure that everyone had a place to crash, food, beer, etc.
Yeah, I am venting a bit. It's funny now, but I know that I won't ever have a party at my home again, unless it is outside.
You wouldn't be my friend? How hurt I feel by this statement.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-01-02 12:44:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You host a party but want silence by 2?
I wouldn't be your friend if you tried that shit. Fuckin lame.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-01-02 12:32:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OK. I see that you were there.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-01-02 12:31:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh dear! I suggest you go to somebody elses' house next year!
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-01-02 12:27:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a total asshole, with absolutely no idea of how to throw a party, or have fun. You are a sack of shit.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-01-02 12:03:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2006-01-02 11:58:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's new year's eve for fuck's sake. Any neighbours who complain about people chatting while smoking outside are as anal as you are.
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I am really not that anal. It wasn't chatting, but screaming and such.
Submitted by stuckfix (user info) at 2006-01-02 12:02:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hear you completely. I still live in my hometown, and so when everyone comes home for the holidays, they come to my house. Last week was one solid gathering, and although the number peeked at 14, I have a very small house (at least in the winter, in the summer, there's a lot more room, as I have a huge patio and fire pit in the backyard), and things got cramped. I hate it when people get a little booze in them and lose whatever manners they had. For Christ's sake, you can't ash your cigarette less than three feet above the ashtray??? I spent 3 hours cleaning my kitchen and living room the other day, and that wasn't even all that thorough. Bastards. Never again.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2006-01-02 12:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to party with you
as long as you don't melt me with your x-ray vision
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2006-01-02 11:58:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's new year's eve for fuck's sake. Any neighbours who complain about people chatting while smoking outside are as anal as you are.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-01-02 11:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Next year, I plan on taking it easy. Either that, or I am going to someone else's house. I don't think that I'm uptight, but when it's my house I turn into a Nazi.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2006-01-02 11:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For NYE, my girlfriend and I invited my best friend and her boyfriend over. Just the four of us. We drank all night, ate pizza and snacks, watched South Park, played Mario Party 7, caught the aweseome House of Blues Chicago NYE thingy, played video games again till about 1am, and crashed out.
It was awesome. Damn near perfect. I couldn't have picked better people to spend NYE with.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-02 11:43:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a light sleeper with a 'smoke outside' rule and loud, drunken friends, too. I think the NYE party is the worst to host, because even people who are generally reasonable prepare to let loose that night. And it's virtually impossible to keep a group of 3 or more people quiet once alcohol is introduced- especially when all smoking goes on outside.
This was the first year we all decided to just hang out at the neighborhood bars instead- and it was great. No one had to host much except for the occasional stop to smoke up or crash late night. I highly suggest it.