Don't Touch Me! I am a dorito and I will break! (950 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.12 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rochalle Racine <rochalle.04.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-01-03 02:06:07 EST
Anybody with the slightest bit of compassion probably won't find this funny. But if you are like me read on....
When I was like 16 I was at this party with a few friends. It was any other high school party, alcohol and drugs...whatever. Well apparantly this dude from our wrestling team decided it would be cool to try shrooms and acid. Well first he was trippin' like any person on that shit would. Then he started thinking he was a nacho cheese dorito. He was walking through the house with his arms straight out at his sides and his wrists bent downwards. (Like the upside traingle shape a dorito is) He would walk through doors sideways instead of face first for fear he might break. He would not anybody touch him for the same fear that he would suddenly crumble. It was pretty amusing. Then around midnight the party got rolled. Everybody ran out with their drink in hand laughing away at the nacho cheese dorito. Then all of a sudden we stopped and turned because we heard this cry for help. It was the dude who thought he was a dorito. The cops had him surrounded while he was screaming "DON"T TOUCH ME I AM DORITO I WILL BREAK" His arms still placed straight out. The cops knew this guy was on something serious and had to detain him and calm him down. A few cops tackled him to the ground. When he had calmed down they stood up and let out a sigh of relief that this hadn't taken as long as they had thought. As the dorito lay on the ground motion less accompanied with this look of shock and horror on his face they realized he broke. (in other words he died of a heart attack)
User Reviews
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-04 16:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
For a moment I thought "Maybe this can be turned around." But it failed to do so. Please drink acid.
Submitted by paulblakeford (user info) at 2006-01-04 16:18:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Man, I wish I didn't enjoy any part of the post, but, it was pretty good. Reminds me of the time a drugged girl took on five guys at a party----in hand to hand combat. She almost won.
Submitted by concerthead (user info) at 2006-01-04 01:13:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
honestly i agree with you all. the title draws you in but there is no oomf. it sounds better in person than on paper. i should of realized that before i wrtoe it. 2 min out of my life i shall never regain.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-01-03 14:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you wot?
Submitted by InferiorPlanet (user info) at 2006-01-03 13:10:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I remember stories like this from high school. One version was a person who thought they were a glass of orange juice and didnt want to be tipped over. Another person thought they were a french fry and so on. These are a forms of the urban legend. I have had my fair share of mind candy for sure, but if you think you are a dorito orange juice pink taco about to be broken tipped porked you should probably stay away from drugs.
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2006-01-03 12:43:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for this being funny, -2 for this obviously being an emailwhore.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-03 11:25:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
just didn't do it... but the title was funny.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-01-03 11:10:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-01-03 07:14:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2006-01-03 04:00:26 (#)
Ranking: 1
"(in other words he died of a heart attack)"
is he okay now? I hope so.
---------------------
+2 for that.
____
No -2 for that.
I'm not as nice as thorpe.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-03 10:50:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was like, terrible. Like.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-01-03 09:17:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
+80 for the title
-81 for dissapointing follow up.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-03 08:56:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
???
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-01-03 08:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
MEH
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-01-03 08:34:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2006-01-03 07:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay for teenagers dying of drug overdoses!
More! MORE!!!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-01-03 07:14:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2006-01-03 04:00:26 (#)
Ranking: 1
"(in other words he died of a heart attack)"
is he okay now? I hope so.
---------------------
+2 for that.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2006-01-03 06:47:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2006-01-03 02:35:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
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^^^^^^^^^
Are you actually fucking mental?
Submitted by nappingninja (user info) at 2006-01-03 05:02:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think a book deal is in the works here...
"Dorito Boy and the Cops who killed Him"
what can I say, I have no compassion...
Submitted by weasul (user info) at 2006-01-03 04:55:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
While people tripping is hilarious, this story is not amusing. I've seen people on LSD, shrooms, and/or salival do and say things beyond belief.
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2006-01-03 04:00:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"(in other words he died of a heart attack)"
is he okay now? I hope so.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-01-03 03:45:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What everyone else said. This was pretty funny.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-01-03 03:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-01-03 02:40:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking zoinks, Scoob.
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2006-01-03 02:35:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2006-01-03 02:29:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate to encourage posts like these but
wow
Submitted by GaidinCanuck (user info) at 2006-01-03 02:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment