Nigger Ball- And other school yard shenanigans (1587 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.43 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ozzy (View user info) at 2006-01-04 09:43:36 EST
Ah, the good ol' days.
I'm sure on some level all of us can look back fondly on our schooling years. Some of us obviously had more fun than others, but I thought that today I'd share some of the school yard shenanigans that were somewhat unique (possibly?) to my school.
Like every other school, we made use of the classics from time to time. But food fights, wet willys and nipple cripples get old very quickly.
Now I'm sure you've all heard of a wedgie, and even atomic wedgies are now common place.
But possibly the most feared of our shenanigans was the Pole Wedgie. No, this was not sexual fetish popularised by the Nazis while invading Eastern Europe.
Essentially, once a victim was chosen, he/she was picked up by four people who each grabbed an arm or leg. The victim was then taken, writhing and struggling, to the nearest metal pole (rugby goalpost, metal building support or similar), before their legs were spread either side of the pole. I few solid tugs on the victim's legs, jamming their groin and arse into the solid steel pole usually left them in a world of hurt.
At my school, only one person ever took a successful pole wedgie without hollering in pain: Justin Harding. But later that year, a rumour spread that his ball bag was a nut short. His younger brother confirmed this, and as a result he was dubbed "Wingnut" for the rest of his schooling days.
Another game we invented was "Trip Footy (short for football)", which was basically rugby but without the use of a regular tackle using our shoulders.
Hence, in place of tackling we began using our legs to try and trip the person with the ball. This was in turn countered by the ball carrier jumping to avoid being tripped, which led to a fucking LOT of injuries. In a two week period, we had 2 broken arms, a dislocated ankle, ruptured knee ligaments and a severe concussion.
Not surprising when you consider big, athletic guys were jumping 3 or 4 feet into the air, only to be tripped and lose their balance mid jump and land face/arms/knees/torso first.
Another favourite was a game we originally called "Brandy."
When we first started playing this game, all we needed was a tennis ball and a brick wall. One person stood roughly 5 metres from the wall, tennis ball in hand, while the remaining players stood up against the wall. The idea of the game?
To throw the ball as hard as possible and hit one of the players up against the wall. Think dodge ball, but with less room for dodging. To go out of the game, you not only had to be hit with the ball, but have a red mark or bruise left by its impact when it hit you. Not surprisingly, it was fairly common to be left with a red mark when hit from such close range, hence the name "Brandy".
Our game slowly became very popular, and pretty soon we had a 40 strong group, each rushing to finish eating their lunch so they could come and play with us. This group was then expanded to include the 5 or 6 aboriginal and islander kids in our class at school.
Things were going swimmingly; the girls loved to watch the boys get sconed by a rocketing tennis ball, and the boys loved trying to prove that they were tough by not flinching when they got hit.
It was fair to say that we'd turned Brandy into the flavour of the month.
The nature of this game soon changed, however.
Why?
The aboriginal and islander kids that we hung out with.
Those fuckers were so black that unless you hit them in the head, we could never see the red marks, bruises or brandings, and as a result the black kids were REALLY good at Brandy.
They started winning every game, and eventually the game degenerated into the white guys hurling a ball at the heavily outnumbered black guys for our entire lunch break.
We soon changed the name of that game. "Nigger Ball" had kind of a nice ring to it, don't you think?
By our final year of high school, a bunch of kids at my school had discovered home made explosives. For the most part, they "innocently" blew up the occasional mail box or rubbish bin outside of school hours, and then bragged about their exploits when back at school.
Then one sunny winter day, a slacker pothead called Stan decided to bring his latest concoction to school and let it off after school in the middle of our huge sports oval.
His weapon of choice was a 5 litre metal canister, filled to the brim with granules of sparkler dust. (He'd stripped those grey, candle-like things of all their flammable material) Apparently Stan had used roughly 200 packets of sparklers to fill the canister, but he suspected it would do nothing more than spray a shower of golden sparks into the air.
Holy fuck was he wrong.
Using an intact sparkler as a fuse, he lit it and ran to a seemingly safe distance to watch the impending show. As the fuse ran out, a fucking resounding "BOOM" rang out through the entire school. The boom was accompanied by a bright flash, and seconds later we were showered in mud and grass which was thrown up by the blast, leaving a massive crater in the middle of our rugby field.
Our surprise at the size of the blast was quickly replaced by laughter, and then panic as we realised we needed to get the fuck away from there to avoid being caught.
The next day, the school fielded literally hundreds of phone calls from concerned residents in the area, and while they were aware that "someone" had let off an explosive device on the school grounds, no teachers were around to see who was responsible. Appeals from the principal to squeal on the perpetrators were ignored, and thankfully the issue eventually went away.
Looking back on some of the stuff that happened back then makes me realise a few things.
Firstly, by Australian standards I went to a fucking rough school. Secondly, kids are really, really dumb and utterly fearless.
And finally, if Nigger Ball taught me nothing else, it taught me this: If you're going to beat up a woman, beat up a black chick. No one will ever see the bruises.
User Reviews
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2006-04-11 09:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Secondly, kids are really, really dumb and utterly fearless.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-04 20:23:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Never liked the word, butt burglar.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-01-04 20:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting point, ozzy.
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2006-01-04 20:15:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
it's brandings, rather than brandy, isn't it? sparkler bombs were the shit, also chlorine bombs.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-01-04 15:03:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We had Uni-ball Billy at our school. We also had pole wedgies.
Our invention was to have one guy lay down legs in the air, another would then grab said legs and start spinning. I always enjoyed randomly letting go to watch how far they'd fly. Random though so they'd keep coming back. "I swear I won't do it this time"
Our other game was called "thrash hack" We played hackey sack to a predetermined number of hits (without touching the ground). If you could then catch the hack you could bean someone for points. A hack whipped at you from close range can be painful and leave rather colorful and large bruises.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-01-04 12:35:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't read it.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-04 12:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and the moment his head comes into veiw,
HIT IT WITH THE ROCK!
Submitted by el_em_en_oh (user info) at 2006-01-04 11:42:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Eggy1988 (user info) at 2006-01-04 10:50:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
"If you're going to beat up a woman, beat up a black chick. No one will ever see the bruises."
Brilliant.
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Dito.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-01-04 11:19:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-04 09:57:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-01-04 09:53:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have used ninja stars
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A guy made some of those in shop one day, and got suspended for a week.
On an unrelated note, is your user name supposed to represent psycho-semen? If so, that's awesome!
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that's correct...derived from simon, but semen stuck!!!
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-04 10:54:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-04 10:48:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
"If you're going to beat up a woman, beat up a black chick. No one will ever see the bruises."
I think this depends on how black you are. For instance Hallie Barry is a light skinned black woman. Bruises would show up on her skin.
Anyway, Good post
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Halle Berry (who is a fine peice of arse by the way) is delightfully "cappaccino" as opposed to black. However, you make a solid point.
Submitted by Eggy1988 (user info) at 2006-01-04 10:50:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"If you're going to beat up a woman, beat up a black chick. No one will ever see the bruises."
Brilliant.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-04 10:48:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"If you're going to beat up a woman, beat up a black chick. No one will ever see the bruises."
I think this depends on how black you are. For instance Hallie Barry is a light skinned black woman. Bruises would show up on her skin.
Anyway, Good post.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-04 10:30:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-04 10:04:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-04 09:57:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Nigger balling was a term that we used on the playground during kick/whiffle/baseball for throwing the ball at a runner in the basepaths. We usually didn't have enough people to field a whole team, so if you could bean someone on the way to the base, it was considered an out.
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Even WITH enough people to field a team we considered this a valid way to score an out.
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There was always that one kid that would get hit with the ball and then cry out, "NO NIGGER-BALLING!"
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-01-04 10:23:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We used to have pole wedgies and that tennis ball game too. I also have a friend rumoured to only have one nut, we called him odd-ball though.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-01-04 10:23:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Chortle
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-04 10:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-04 09:57:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Nigger balling was a term that we used on the playground during kick/whiffle/baseball for throwing the ball at a runner in the basepaths. We usually didn't have enough people to field a whole team, so if you could bean someone on the way to the base, it was considered an out.
-----
Even WITH enough people to field a team we considered this a valid way to score an out.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-04 09:58:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-04 09:57:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-01-04 09:53:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have used ninja stars
----------------------------------
A guy made some of those in shop one day, and got suspended for a week.
On an unrelated note, is your user name supposed to represent psycho-semen? If so, that's awesome!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-04 09:57:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nigger balling was a term that we used on the playground during kick/whiffle/baseball for throwing the ball at a runner in the basepaths. We usually didn't have enough people to field a whole team, so if you could bean someone on the way to the base, it was considered an out.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-01-04 09:53:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have used ninja stars.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-01-04 09:50:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I miss school games at breaktime.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2006-01-04 09:48:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool, i remember when we bought an innocent bag of jumbled plumbing parts and made our First (of Many) Potatoe Cannon (patent pending) that thing was so loud.