The Gift That Fucked Me Over (A Picture Tour) (2395 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1.88 on 72 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SilvrWolf (View user info) at 2006-01-05 14:50:49 EST
I've worked my ass off on the farm my parents owned and now it's mine. Including the monumental taxes associated with it. That's really all I'm mad about here. I have to come up with a little over 4 grand in under a month. If my parents fuck me in the ass with a gift, does that make me gay? I'm pissed off and ecstatic(not about the ass-fucking, mind you) at the same time. I also inherited a bunch of junk that I need to clean up. So, to vent my frustrations and remind myself of why I love this place, I broke out the camera and took some pics. I thought I'd invite you lucky kids to take a tour of my chetola (Cherokee for "haven of rest")
Disclaimer: This post will bore most of you shitless, but it is Thursday, after all.
User Reviews
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 20:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-05-09 11:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Highly amusing!
Um, I forgot what I was
OH, I wish I knew how/ had the energy to build shit like chimneys.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-05-09 11:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was expecting this to be about herpes.
Now I have to read it.
Submitted by Targa (user info) at 2006-01-06 19:28:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yes I can.
Submitted by Targa (user info) at 2006-01-06 19:28:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 tractor targa. I'd give you a +3, but I can't.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-01-06 18:51:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know...
I'm over a quarter-mile off the main road (makes for a bitch clearing the driveway in the winter), so I could have a real kickass party up here. Hmmmm. I'll have to think on this one.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:53:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-05 14:54:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
PARTY AT YOUR PLACE!
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:30:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wouldn't have been complete without the broke-down, white trash Firebird. Just need to get that baby up on blocks in front of the house.
Submitted by HillBoyJr (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:19:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 'cause it looks where i live, only i have goats, sheep and horses and no cow.
i'll be at little river this weekend trout fishing i believe.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:23:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:49:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
No it isn't.
I've been looking at the outside world. I've decided that it's overrated. There's just not enough rape.
I don't have any pictures of anyone, let alone naked pictures. She's apparently about 12 or 14 stone but she doesn't look it. She's about 5'8 and her arms as a big as TigerLilly's enormous upperarms. I do know that she very rarely shaves her legs. She's also a full on Christian and lover of folk music. And if you think I'm a self righteous prick then it's nothing compared to her. I at least have and appreciate vices. She's pompous.
Of course saying all that, she is kind of my hero. She's an oddball, like me, and she had difficulty dealing with the world on her terms but she didn't bend to it, she just squared her shoulders and did her own thing.
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Berty, there's never enough rape. Never.
Folk music and unshorn legs? If you hadn't dropped the Christian bit in there I'd say that maybe your sister enjoys a bit of the old quim. Don't get me wrong. I think there's nothing wrong with that. I enjoy it quite a bit myself.
I appreciate people who don't change to meet what the world expects of them. It's so much more fulfilling to go about lacking some of the required social accessories. Easier as well.
My father is one of my heroes and he has the whole Christian righteous thing going on in his life as well. I think it makes him a better person. It just didn't do anything for me.
TigerLilly's got some guns. It'd be so nice to be held tight in those muscly arms...
What the hell.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:00:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:47:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Virginia love.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:49:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No it isn't.
I've been looking at the outside world. I've decided that it's overrated. There's just not enough rape.
I don't have any pictures of anyone, let alone naked pictures. She's apparently about 12 or 14 stone but she doesn't look it. She's about 5'8 and her arms as a big as TigerLilly's enormous upperarms. I do know that she very rarely shaves her legs. She's also a full on Christian and lover of folk music. And if you think I'm a self righteous prick then it's nothing compared to her. I at least have and appreciate vices. She's pompous.
Of course saying all that, she is kind of my hero. She's an oddball, like me, and she had difficulty dealing with the world on her terms but she didn't bend to it, she just squared her shoulders and did her own thing.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:38:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:09:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Does she have hair as pretty as Berty? That would erase so many other character flaws...
+2 Whitey Kincaid
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It's better. Big arms though.
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How big? I'm a fairly big guy so it may not matter. Could she, say, beat the Incredible Hulk at arm wrestling?
Post her pictures. Nekkid pictures.
Then we'll all flame you for taking naked pictures of your sister.
Where have you been Berty? This place isn't the same when you're not around.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:09:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Does she have hair as pretty as Berty? That would erase so many other character flaws...
+2 Whitey Kincaid
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It's better. Big arms though.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:54:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:28:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
You wouldn't like her. She uses men and then discards them. She activly preys on insecure and vulnerable men.
A life spent farming is not living. Kill the cattle, burn the crops and rent the place out to tourists.
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Does she have hair as pretty as Berty? That would erase so many other character flaws...
+2 Whitey Kincaid
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:51:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
can i visit?
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:32:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for a Baja
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:28:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty: Har Har - Your sister's a lumberjack. Wait. That's kinda hot. Is she single?
And start farming now or you WILL be the crap one. ;)
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You wouldn't like her. She uses men and then discards them. She activly preys on insecure and vulnerable men.
A life spent farming is not living. Kill the cattle, burn the crops and rent the place out to tourists.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:15:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
LadyP: I know. The deer head gets me everytime.
joedaddy: you just keep that Cat dozer away from my place... for now.
Stabby: I do have a Polaris 700 and I'll probably get another Blue Heeler (they're great with livestock). She's just too old to give a shit about intruders anymore.
Barnymeinhoff: the folded down bar on the tractor in the pic IS a ROPS. Considering it's sitting level most of the time, I'm not too worried. I'm not Homer Simpson. Thanks for your concern, though.
Berty: Har Har - Your sister's a lumberjack. Wait. That's kinda hot. Is she single?
And start farming now or you WILL be the crap one. ;)
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Well, I'm off to bust rocks and trim some trees today. I have 1000 shortleaf pine seedlings (a nice timber crop) coming in and need to clean up the plot where they'll be planted. God, I'm such a hick now. I just need to find mah bib overalls. Hyuck Hyuck Hyuck <ptoo>
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 06:45:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My Grandfather's family owned a farm in northern ireland. My Grandfather struggled through, waking up at 5 to milk the cows and then he'd go to school. Later he'd come home, sort out the cattle, do his homework and go to bed. Fun times.
Anyway, he escapes to University and becomes a chemist. Luckily just then the war broke out and he got moved to England to make bombs. Hilarity ensued and in the end he got a job at a big chemical company. Later he's trolling round the Jewellery Quarter in Birmingham, picks up my Gran, marries her, sires me mammy who begets me. Then I get a job in the Jewellery Quarter.
My sister works as a forester, which is a bit like a farmer. She drives tractors and stuff. Point is that the circle has turned fully and I reckon I've escaped from destiny, thing is though is that there's always one succesful child and a crap child. Am I going to be the crap one or the good one?
My money's on me being the good one. My sister hasn't even thrown away her childhood toys yet.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 06:40:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Har Har
You're a farmer.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 06:22:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Boats, party barge, tractor..... fuck throw a couple of trail bikes and a V8 saloon in and I'd be a happy man amongst that lot.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-01-06 06:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DAMN I'd give my left arm to live there.
Not my right, I'll need that to earn my board.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-01-06 05:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-01-05 14:59:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice place.
+2 for naming your food.
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beautiful spread. dare i open up finances into the fray, but how much is uncle sam gonna butt-sex you for on tax day?
and yeah... i'm thinking i'm going to name my steaks before i cook them. esp when i have company over. put little toothpicks with flags on them and the names. force the guests to use said names when serving food.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2006-01-06 05:03:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Invest in a roll bar for the tractor suicide boy.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2006-01-06 02:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What was I thinking? Forget having a hound unless you want to buy a dog you'll never see again once in gets a scent of something that could send it running far, far away. Border Collie.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2006-01-06 02:50:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Complete with redneck Camaro! Word! I like it all... Replace the lazy dog with a Border Collie.
If you are going to have a lazy dog in that environment, you need hounds. I LOVE Bloodhounds. And from personal experience, you can guarantee they will not be "lazy" when they see another animal on the property. Raawwwwwwwwwwwww wwooooowwwwww (they make that hound crying noise... not really a bark. It is cool.
You do have some 4 wheelers somewhere, right?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-01-06 02:29:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice place.
-Dave
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-01-06 00:54:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i could do wonders to that place with a D-9
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-01-06 00:15:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I, for one, am strangely aroused by that tractor.
And the deer head.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2006-01-05 23:11:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All barn meth lab jokes aside, I hope to own a kick ass house like this some day. The pictures emit good vibes.
Submitted by the_thorne (user info) at 2006-01-05 22:40:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh baby oh baby yes, give it to me now.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-01-05 22:30:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is awesome.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-01-05 21:29:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's make out.
Submitted by Lmarie22000 (user info) at 2006-01-05 20:12:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It reminds me of my famiy's farm in La Grange, TX
It's about the same age as yours. My great grandmother lived there.
But we had a "fish house" I don't know why we called it that, but we gutted all the fish we caught in the Colorado River on the deck there.
We also had a a "fish pond"
And a cow named "deer", "dolly", and "midnight"....and many many others
And the farm house...we called it the "camp house"
And we had a huge like...15 foot dinner bell outside.
And bales of hay.
And coyotes.
I miss it alot.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-01-05 19:23:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck is this, and what weekend in October is the UberCon?
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-01-05 17:56:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Good deal, man. Smith Mountain Lake regularly produces landlocked stripers over 30 lbs., so we could hit down here, too.
Sadly, until I get my situ straightened here, Chesapeake is going to have to wait awhile. I can still use the beach house anytime I want, though, so that doesn't exclude us from having a little Bay fishing trip (I have a 24' Mako just chilling out there).
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-01-05 17:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Still, I wait for Ubercon Chesapeake. We should go fishing sometime, man. Spring striper season is right around the corner and I have the feeling that this year will be a great trophy season. Lots of little ones in the fall. Anytime that you want to come up to MD, let me know.
I'm always looking for new fishing buddies.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-01-05 17:34:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Loren, I'm pretty much already moved in; just waiting for the parents to move out. :)
EMC, I'm ten minutes from Claytor Lake, ten minutes from the New River and less than a mile from the Little River. You have to cross the Little to get to my house. It has great smallmouth fishing and a few trout.
MistressFist... you scare me sometimes, what with the rape and the crack and all that. Nah... you're my kind of person.
nitty, get the tractor, man. Mine runs me about $333/month, but luckily I only took over payments from the old man and have six left.
kimberly, there's a John Deere sign on the side of the garage wall; funny you should mention that. Come to think of it, I don't think there's even a Deere implement up here. It's all New Holland and Case stuff.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-01-05 17:22:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Love the New Holland. From one farm boy to another, here's to the greatness of open spaces.
It is fun to call what you're eating by name. Guests usually get disgusted.
What river and lake are fishing on?
Submitted by EvilGav (user info) at 2006-01-05 16:56:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Git me mah huntin' rifle. Looks cool, mate.
Submitted by Drone_of_Industry (user info) at 2006-01-05 16:51:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...where the hick goes to find his innermost child. ...innocence, beauty, a time when things were simple.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-01-05 16:34:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:21:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post. I want to ride your tractor.
===============
I bet you say that to all the boys...
(nice place)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-05 16:33:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-01-05 16:28:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:06:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you should turn it into a rape farm.
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I am not sure if you are funny or disturbing.
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My money's on funny.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-01-05 16:28:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:06:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you should turn it into a rape farm.
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I am not sure if you are funny or disturbing.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2006-01-05 16:23:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Are you moving in?
Great porch.
Submitted by kimberly (user info) at 2006-01-05 16:11:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
where's the john deere hat in the garage?
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-01-05 16:10:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a little jealous.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
two words: Italian lightning
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:47:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Virginia love.
Submitted by userpete86 (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:45:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I had cows I'd headbutt them in the face until they got mad and killed me. I'm tough like that.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:41:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ditka (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:40:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cows.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:34:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking A.
I need to do a photo shoot of my spread. It's not a 'farm,' per se, but 5 acres ain't bad to this country boy.
I want a tractor, but can't for the life of me rationalize why I should buy one.
Submitted by resignator (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:33:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know this was suppose to be boring but I still enjoyed it. I wish I was smoking a joint out in the country somewhere right now.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:28:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The great outdoors, too bad John Candy can't come.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:28:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:26:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit. Gotta go. I'm running out of daylight and I have about three tons of rocks to take up the hill. That's what I was doing in the tractor pic. Y'all come back now, ya hear?
==================
3 tons of rock? You'll have every crack head from here to Atlanta comin' to your hood for some cheez.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:26:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tim, it's in southwest Virginia.
Shlongy, I've put too much blood and sweat in the place to sell it now.
I'll be working on the teepees and drunk indians soon enough, Darth.
And TigerLilly, is that innuendo?
Shit. Gotta go. I'm running out of daylight and I have about three tons of rocks to take up the hill. That's what I was doing in the tractor pic. Y'all come back now, ya hear?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:21:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post. I want to ride your tractor.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:18:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Me gusta.
I reccomend more cows. And I can't help but notice the lack of teepees and drunk indians, which are a must.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:18:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that is absolutely beautiful.
what state is that in?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:10:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is awesome.
Here's Shlongy's expert advice.
Sell it. Sell it now. Sell it fast. Sell, sell, sell. Let someone ELSE clean it up.
Then, buy yourself some nice beachfront condo somewhere where you can relax, unwind, and Uber.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:09:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good shit.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:06:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you should turn it into a rape farm.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:04:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more lunatics running around with chainsaws
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:00:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If my parents fuck me in the ass with a gift, does that make me gay?
===================
No, it just means you live south of the Mason Dixon line.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-01-05 14:59:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice place.
+2 for naming your food.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-01-05 14:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm laughing because it looks like somewhere where I grew up.
All it needs is a dude with a mullet next to the Firebird, a methamphetamine habit, and it'd be home sweet home.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-01-05 14:55:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Git back to milkin' the bulls ye stupid hick.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-05 14:55:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yee haw
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-01-05 14:54:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
/You are SOOOO lucky.
I am SO jealous.
My parents (and grandparents) are dead. I got nothing. I will get nothing. BOO.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-05 14:54:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PARTY AT YOUR PLACE!