The Great Pubic Hair Debate (7558 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.86 on 92 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ozzy (View user info) at 2006-01-06 08:29:34 EST
ANNOUNCER: Welcome, everybody, to the Great Pubic Hair debate! I'm your host, Guy Smiley. Our first contestant is local afro wig salesman Hakan Mabutoo, who is "Pro Pubic Hair" The floor is yours, Mr Mabutoo.
WIG MAKER MABUTOO: Thank you, Guy.
From time to time, I'm sure we all feel the need to whine and complain about our job. Some people have more cause for complaint than others. White house staff for example: "Look I told you already, boss, I can't fellate you today. I have a burning, puss filled cold sore. Here, why not diddle me with this cigar instead."
Or how about an Aussie lifeguard: "Fuck, if I have to paddle out once more into those shark infested waters to rescue ANOTHER drowning English backpacker, I'm going to rape a rabbit."
Well I'm here to tell you, your job and the ones I've mentioned are just peachy in comparison to the job of a pube.
Think about it.
Men, when you wake up with morning glory and bang the bung hole, who gladly accumulates the lube, vaginal discharge or the family of irritating lice?
Your pubic hair, that's who.
And ladies, after your man spunks in your hole and the remains come flowing out like a translucent gooey white tsunami, who bears the brunt of this?
Your pubic hair, that's who.
Now after the sweaty lust-filled session, the first thing we all do is jump into the shower and wash our "special area." Inevitably, dozens of the dark and curlies will lose their lives, washed away into a smelly drain in a cauldron of soapy water. All this without a word of complaint.
The job of a pube is not a pleasant one people! They deserve our respect for their commitment to their duty, if nothing else.
In addition, there are many advantages to actually having pubic hair on our bodies. Men simply love for their girls to shave their pubic hair into attractive shapes and designs. Picture this: Your girl comes home one day to reveal a new tattoo. She seductively pulls down the top of her pretty panties to reveal a small stick figure pushing a lawn mower through her wild unkempt flower garden.
Any man who doesn't find that cute is off his rocker.
Finally, the coup de grace. You've given the company you work for two weeks notice, and intend to fuck with as many people as possible on your way out.
Sending an invoice to a client? Place a pube or two within the envelope. Leave pubes on the bench in the lunchroom, or on the glass screen of the photocopier. You could even offer to make your boss a cup of tea on your last day.......
I feel so strongly, I may even email my local Senator/Member of Parliament and suggest one more public holiday: Pube Appreciation Day.
ANNOUNCER: Wow, thank you Mr Mabutoo. You make a good case. Now arguing the case against pubic hair, Mr Stavros Mussaka, the bald greek fruit shop owner. The floor is yours Mr Mussaka.
BALD GREEK FUCKER MUSSAKA: Thank you, Guy.
While pubic hair can be fashioned into wonderful shapes and styles, it is, for the most part, an unnecessary nuisance. And why should my groin have more hair than the top of my head?
Let's say for example, your partner fancies a quick spot of oral sex on the couch for their birthday while watching The Simpson's. You go in with tongue and lips blazing, only to be stalled moments later when a pubic hair inexplicably comes free and lodges itself uncomfortably beneath your tongue.
It may take a moment to remove, stopping your partner's sexual momentum dead in its tracks. Continue on and eventually it will be climax time, and you'll both be happy. One of you will have that post orgasm glow and the other will have their ego stroked by having their technique complimented. All is well.
So it may seem.
For you'll arrive at your in-laws house a short time later for dinner, wearing a big fake cheesy smile, only to be greeted by a shocked "Oh my god! You have a pubic hair stuck in your teeth!" This will set the tone for the meal, and many uncomfortable silences will follow.
Next day, you'll go to work and find that the photocopier is playing up- it keeps leaving little lines all through your copies. After cleaning the glass screen with a cloth, the source of the problem will reveal itself. Someone left 4 pubic hairs on the glass! Curse that bastard John from IT and his shenanigans after giving notice.
Then one lunch time, you may be too lazy to make your own sandwich and head off to grab a burger instead. As usual, you'll ask for a tiny bit of onion, hold the mayo and pickle. After sending the burger back twice for them to get it right, you'll come to the realisation that the 15 year old boy grilling the meat patties has been saving his first pube for someone just like you, and now has a new prank in addition to spitting on the patties.
And finally, is there anything more disgusting than communal showers? Say you play sport at University, stay in youth hostels while travelling or enjoy the title of "Peeping Tom." After negotiating warts, athletes foot, and filthy facilities, you still have to dodge the thin dark "carpet" of various rogue pubes on the floor.
Yes it seems pretty clear to me, pubic hair is an unnecessary nuisance that we could all do without.
ANNOUNCER: Well, that's all we have time for today. Tune in next time when we debate which ordour is strongest; the BO of a Frenchman or a freshly loaded diaper. Good night everyone!
I know it's not quite the same thing, but this was inspired by:
"People will actually kiss another person on the hair. But the second that hair comes free from their body, it becomes the most vile, disgusting thing you've ever seen."
-Jerry Seinfeld
User Reviews
Submitted by twitch9387 (user info) at 2006-01-10 10:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hey dumbass
you spelled plagurist wrong
you fucking tool
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-08 15:57:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always keep my women shaved.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-01-07 18:17:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:43:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:40:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, but shaving your balls is dangerous and causes you to itch for a week
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Shaving your nuts is like trying to perform an appendoctomy on a deflated balloon. And it itches for WAY more than one week!
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but it does feel smooth
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2006-01-07 12:36:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't mind hair, as long as it's kept at a reasonable level (READ: NOT Scary Movie Style).
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-01-07 09:23:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lovely
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:59:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:49:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a helluva lot more interested in hearing my Uber broads talk about their shaved beaves than I am in even talking about my own shaved nuts. That's for fucking sure.
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Yeah, this post descended into the pits of gayness pretty rapidly. Here, this will help alleviate that: http://www.ubersite.com/m/59505
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:49:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a helluva lot more interested in hearing my Uber broads talk about their shaved beaves than I am in even talking about my own shaved nuts. That's for fucking sure.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:48:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But I miss the puff, it protects my hoodinger when I accidentally hit the corner of the counter on it.
============================
I fucking hate when that happens. And it happens more than it should.
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I know! Right in the baby maker, fuck. ouch. It more often happens to my rather shapely hips, I never compensate my walking for them--they hit tables, corners and walls daily.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:47:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:45:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:43:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
But I miss the puff, it protects my hoodinger when I accidentally hit the corner of the counter on it.
============================
I fucking hate when that happens. And it happens more than it should
------------------------
ozzy, I've commandeered this thread.
Mistress, it's not accidental if you keep doing it in quick repetitive strokes.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:45:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post rocked by the way!
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:45:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:43:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
But I miss the puff, it protects my hoodinger when I accidentally hit the corner of the counter on it.
============================
I fucking hate when that happens. And it happens more than it should.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:45:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Forgot to add that I'm growing it back in protest for the lack of trimming my hairy hairy fiance lazily does not do!
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:43:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to say that I've recently started growing my love puff back after years of wooden floors.
I think I will do the little heart for V-Day. There is a lack of pubes on me, I'm not hairy at all. But I miss the puff, it protects my hoodinger when I accidentally hit the corner of the counter on it.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:39:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:23:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
For the NBA All Star game weekend, Shlongy's balls of fun will be trying to pull off the "Afro of all Afros".
Think Dr. J, circa 1976.
Or even better, Angela Davis.
---------
Shlongy, go a little newer than that. The thing from the early nineties where folks were shaving patterns into their heads. A fucking treasure trove, that. You could do a Nike swoosh. Or the little Air Jordan guy.
I always wanted someone to do something really fucking stupid, well stupider than it already was, like a Smurf, and see if he got picked on.
Orgasmatron and I supplied you with enough ideas to last out 2006. There's gotta be some kind of consulting fee in there...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:28:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:19:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to do a post yesterday on that whole "3 Jews failed" attempt at a bandwagon. I was going to do 3 Largest Jews and use Goldberg, but I couldn't find two more big Hasidic fellas.
---
I think both Kane and Kevin Nash are Jewish.
That Prince Albert/A-Train guy is, too.
Randy Savage, though not 'big' is Jewish too. Makes you wonder about those Slim Jims ads.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:54:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:47:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Not quite the visual I needed there Shlong.
But I'm so happy at this point I don't care. The hubby is in the air and on his way home.
---------------
Awwww. Someone's looking forward to a good shagging. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more!
Did you shave specially? You don't have to answer that, obviously, but did you?
Does he like it that way? Did he ask you to or was it spontaneous?
Do you ask him to shave his?
------------------
Yes, someone IS looking foward to a good shagging and did some special work for his homecoming.
You have to understand, after almost 10 years we've been looking at the same anatomical playthings for a long time. It always helps to keep things interesting. He enjoys it because it's different. I never asked him to do it himself, but he surprise me one evening after the girls went to bed. I'll just say I thanked him properly for the effort.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:24:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just had my dog castrated and now that his ball sack has all shiveled up it looks like he has a little Hitler moustache just below his anus.
Not that that has anything to do with this conversation.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:23:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the NBA All Star game weekend, Shlongy's balls of fun will be trying to pull off the "Afro of all Afros".
Think Dr. J, circa 1976.
Or even better, Angela Davis.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:19:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:05:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
....
I mean, since we're talkin' wrestling and all...
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OR, you go all artsy Bob Ross style. Let it all grow back in and then shave a little winding path down the middle. Call it something like "Path Through the Evening Woods". A little landscape series, if you will...
---
Maybe shave the nuts completely, but leave a patch that narrows down to the root and opens up as it approaches the waistline. Call it 'the Kid'n'Play'
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Holy shit, that ones hard to top.
Ummmm.....
Do that, but have another little horizontal patch with diagonal lines in it and call it 'Vanilla Ices eyebrow'? A year later he could grow dreadlocks on the old plums and keep with the theme. That's the best I could come up with. You win.
I forgot you were the wrestling guy. You did the Eddie Guerrero thing when he died.
I was going to do a post yesterday on that whole "3 Jews failed" attempt at a bandwagon. I was going to do 3 Largest Jews and use Goldberg, but I couldn't find two more big Hasidic fellas.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:05:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:57:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:47:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:26:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
You should do the Hulk Hogan.
Or go for the Amish look. That chinstrap beard thing.
---
Once I left two little mohawks on either side of my coinpurse.
I called it the 'Road Warrior Hawk' look.
I mean, since we're talkin' wrestling and all...
---------
OR, you go all artsy Bob Ross style. Let it all grow back in and then shave a little winding path down the middle. Call it something like "Path Through the Evening Woods". A little landscape series, if you will...
---
Maybe shave the nuts completely, but leave a patch that narrows down to the root and opens up as it approaches the waistline. Call it 'the Kid'n'Play'
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:57:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:47:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:26:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
You should do the Hulk Hogan.
Or go for the Amish look. That chinstrap beard thing.
---
Once I left two little mohawks on either side of my coinpurse.
I called it the 'Road Warrior Hawk' look.
I mean, since we're talkin' wrestling and all...
---------
OR, you go all artsy Bob Ross style. Let it all grow back in and then shave a little winding path down the middle. Call it something like "Path Through the Evening Woods". A little landscape series, if you will...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:47:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:26:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:10:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
On tap the first week of February:
Shlongy's giant nads sport a handlebar nutstache.
------------
You should do the Hulk Hogan.
Or go for the Amish look. That chinstrap beard thing.
---
Once I left two little mohawks on either side of my coinpurse.
I called it the 'Road Warrior Hawk' look.
I mean, since we're talkin' wrestling and all...
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:39:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It looks like Schlongy is going to have to double dose on the Rogaine for the many coiffs he's going to create.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:28:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, now I feel a little bit gayer for discussing another mans scrotal grooming with him.
Great.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:26:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:10:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
On tap the first week of February:
Shlongy's giant nads sport a handlebar nutstache.
------------
You should do the Hulk Hogan.
Or go for the Amish look. That chinstrap beard thing.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:20:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i like being hairless, berty.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:10:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
On tap the first week of February:
Shlongy's giant nads sport a handlebar nutstache.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:06:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Davros may be right, but this is still one of the best things on here today so far.
I liked your midget post better as well.
For the record, I don't shave 'em, but I keep them nicely trimmed. Like a ball field. With a giant fucking bat left out in the middle.
The idea of Shlongy with fu manchu pubes had me feeling a little nauseated. No offense Shlong.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:05:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:58:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:40:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Brazilian waxes hurt like a mofo. I've had a couple and man o man. They are NOT fun.
__________
tiger, if you keep going and getting it done, it gets easier each time. hurts less and takes less time, because some of that hair never grows back each time. also you should never get it a few days before your period, since that is when most women have the lowest pain threshold.
brazilian for life!!! woohoo.
this post was funny as hell.
--------
Now there's an incentive.
The problem with that theory, Leilani, is that you will be a hairless freak.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:01:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:58:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Next week, Shlongy's golden nuggets will probably be sportin' a fu manchu.
I change it up weekly to keep my shag pieces guessing...
Who wants pictures!!!???
--------------------------
Good god, NO! Although if Mrs Schlongy decides to grow a mullet 'round that wrinkly beaver of hers, be sure to send 'em this way.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:58:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:40:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Brazilian waxes hurt like a mofo. I've had a couple and man o man. They are NOT fun.
__________
tiger, if you keep going and getting it done, it gets easier each time. hurts less and takes less time, because some of that hair never grows back each time. also you should never get it a few days before your period, since that is when most women have the lowest pain threshold.
brazilian for life!!! woohoo.
this post was funny as hell.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Next week, Shlongy's golden nuggets will probably be sportin' a fu manchu.
I change it up weekly to keep my shag pieces guessing...
Who wants pictures!!!???
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:54:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:47:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Not quite the visual I needed there Shlong.
But I'm so happy at this point I don't care. The hubby is in the air and on his way home.
---------------
Awwww. Someone's looking forward to a good shagging. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more!
Did you shave specially? You don't have to answer that, obviously, but did you?
Does he like it that way? Did he ask you to or was it spontaneous?
Do you ask him to shave his?
AH HA! Is that it? Do you get a power trip via his emasculation? Do you like to watch him shave his pubic hair off whilst gloating in your head?
Was it something you planned since you birthed your first child? Was it a fantasy from before then?
Again, you don't have to answer any of that if you don't want to.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:48:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:31:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
"All you people are freaks. I like a hairy muff. It feels nice"
I'll take a muff burger with extra tomato sauce please.
=====================
No.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:47:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:47:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not quite the visual I needed there Shlong.
But I'm so happy at this point I don't care. The hubby is in the air and on his way home.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:39:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:31:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm proud to admit that when the Shlongy family gets together to shave my nuts, we get creative.
In fact, this week, my nutsac is sporting sideburns.
----------------------------------------
<vomits>
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:34:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:04:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
That hurts. =(
------------
Don't call me a whore and I'll play nice.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:31:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"All you people are freaks. I like a hairy muff. It feels nice"
I'll take a muff burger with extra tomato sauce please.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:31:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm proud to admit that when the Shlongy family gets together to shave my nuts, we get creative.
In fact, this week, my nutsac is sporting sideburns.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:28:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:20:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes when im in the shower and im shaving my wang and nads I catch sight of myself in the mirror and think.
"Is this a little bit faggy?"
But then I think fuck it, lead by example, were not in the fucking dark ages anymore. If more ladys had nice smooth cloppers then there wouldnt be half as many child botherers in the world.
science fact!
------------------
The mental image of Barny (who's a big bloke by the way, broad and tall) shaving his nuts and staring at himself in the mirror is one of the most absurd and amusing that I have ever encountered.
I'm not fucking about, I'm being deadly serious.
All you people are freaks. I like a hairy muff. It feels nice.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:20:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes when im in the shower and im shaving my wang and nads I catch sight of myself in the mirror and think.
"Is this a little bit faggy?"
But then I think fuck it, lead by example, were not in the fucking dark ages anymore. If more ladys had nice smooth cloppers then there wouldnt be half as many child botherers in the world.
science fact!
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:17:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This pains me to say this but MANICMOMMY just gave me a woodrow.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:04:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:04:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That hurts. =(
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:00:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No offense taken. I'm sure you'll live on to be rejected again and again and again....
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:54:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:47:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry man, there's only ONE sack I stroke and I'm married to it.
The guy its attached to isn't bad either.
--------------------------------------------------
Oh. In that case, fuck off you bitch, whore, slutfaced cunt.
No offense. That's just what happens when I get rejected.
Whore.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:46:45 (#)
Ranking: 1
Sorry, this was a deliberate rating.
I liked it, but it wasn't amazing.
I would like to point out that the above link is SOOOOO NSFW it should not be clicked on by anyone.
(I am looking to the amount of people that didn't rate this until someone else had broken the streak).
-Dave
-------------------------------
No disagreement from me Davros, I don't think this is straight plus 2 material either.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:47:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry man, there's only ONE sack I stroke and I'm married to it.
The guy its attached to isn't bad either.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:33:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
If you don't tuck it Orgasmatron, you can join the ranks of those of us lads who had our peeners plastered all over Ubersite...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59656 (very NSFW)
---------------
Sorry, this was a deliberate rating.
I liked it, but it wasn't amazing.
I would like to point out that the above link is SOOOOO NSFW it should not be clicked on by anyone.
(I am looking to the amount of people that didn't rate this until someone else had broken the streak).
-Dave
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:41:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:00:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
A well tended garden is a beautiful thing, so soft, so smooth.. but it must be weeded regularly.
There is very little worse than reaching down and finding 3 or 4 day old stubble on the playing field. That shit is pointy and hurts like a bastard. One must be prepared to go the extra mile if they plan on shaving the beav. I do prefer the shorn sack, I could stroke that soft skin for hours.
----------------------------------------------
Hours? Make it one to three unbelieveable minutes of passion and you have yourself a deal.
Sploij.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:40:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:23:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wimp.
I'll do it if you will.
Though I'll likely have to pull off a Civil War 'tuck' so as to avoid blinding all your womenz with my dangle's golden shimmer.
------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah I am a wimp. Boobs are one thing. But only a chosen few get to see the beauty that is, my goodies.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:33:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you don't tuck it Orgasmatron, you can join the ranks of those of us lads who had our peeners plastered all over Ubersite...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59656 (very NSFW)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:23:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:48:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Amen sista. This year I'm shaving a U for Ubersite and taking a picture to post. NOT!!!!
---
Wimp.
I'll do it if you will.
Though I'll likely have to pull off a Civil War 'tuck' so as to avoid blinding all your womenz with my dangle's golden shimmer.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:13:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gentlemen -- please, tame the wilderness.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-01-06 10:00:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A well tended garden is a beautiful thing, so soft, so smooth.. but it must be weeded regularly.
There is very little worse than reaching down and finding 3 or 4 day old stubble on the playing field. That shit is pointy and hurts like a bastard. One must be prepared to go the extra mile if they plan on shaving the beav. I do prefer the shorn sack, I could stroke that soft skin for hours.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:36:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty friggin funny.
For the record, I have no problem with pubes. In fact, I think I prefer them. Bald parts are scary and when I see them, I tend to think they resemble a pre-pubescent person too much to be arousing
---------------
For the record, I prefer a little grass on the wicket when I play cricket too. Baldness makes people look like a plucked chicken, which is alright if you're into the barnyard scene, but Ozzy doesn't swing that way very often.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:59:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The picture capped off this tremendous effort.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:53:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:48:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
------------------------------------------------------------
Amen sista. This year I'm shaving a U for Ubersite and taking a picture to post. NOT!!!!
===================
Where is Urbane when we need her? Method, get her to do it. She's in your closet, just ask her.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:48:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:45:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel that girls should trim too. Maybe in a heart shape on Valentines Day.
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Amen sista. This year I'm shaving a U for Ubersite and taking a picture to post. NOT!!!!
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:45:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a fan of manscaping. I once told a friend of mine that chicks would dig it if he shaved his pubes. I thought he knew that I meant "trim". Well, like any socially backwards IT professional, he went home and SHAVED with a bic, his entire dick and balls. Came to work all fidgety. I got a laugh outta that one.
I feel that girls should trim too. Maybe in a heart shape on Valentines Day.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:43:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:40:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Brazilian waxes hurt like a mofo. I've had a couple and man o man. They are NOT fun.
---------
I've heard so. A friend of mine studied beauty therapy/cosmetics, and offered to do a back, sack and crack wax for me before I went away. No goddamn chance in hell I was gonna subject myself to that.
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:40:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehehe....
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:40:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brazilian waxes hurt like a mofo. I've had a couple and man o man. They are NOT fun.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:37:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:31:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'm putting your dick in mouth."
-----------------
Is it any wonder we love this bird?
And phuzzygish, you are one sick fucker. But I wouldn't have said that unless I was jealous as hell about the Brazilian girl.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:36:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty friggin funny.
For the record, I have no problem with pubes. In fact, I think I prefer them. Bald parts are scary and when I see them, I tend to think they resemble a pre-pubescent person too much to be arousing.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:33:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In Brazil I got amongst a girl who actually had a Brazilian. Man, instead of that rough, three-day growing-back scratchiness, it was just soft, smooth and toight like a toddler.
Uh oh.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:31:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I prefer men to keep things neat down there. But, whatever. It's natural and doesn't bug me. Younger girls probably have issues with that. It's hair. Big deal. I'm putting your dick in mouth.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:23:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Misanthropic (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:08:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, it's amazing where a girls tongue will go when things are shaved. Am I right ladies??
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I'm guessing that if the woman in question is afraid of hair then that tounge won't be going far.
Seriiously. How unadventurous must you be if you can't even get over pubic hair?
Unless they're grey. Didn't think of that. Grey pubes would be bad.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:23:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 for Guy Smiley
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just thought this was very original. Well written and funny as all hell. Props.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:18:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah, I'm feelin' the Tiger love. Is there a better kind of love than Tiger love? I think not.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:17:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Guy smiley is a Sesame Street puppet character.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:16:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Once more.
Gold.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:16:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And again.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:16:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just cause.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:14:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
5 plus 2's to anyone who can tell me who Guy Smiley is.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:12:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy Sweet Jesus this was funny! Pubes. Hahahaha
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:11:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is funny
Submitted by Misanthropic (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:08:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, it's amazing where a girls tongue will go when things are shaved. Am I right ladies??
Submitted by Misanthropic (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:03:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shave it all off I say!!!!! Including you guys, but a word of advice - only the balls (and maybe down the shaft if you have a dick like a dog), not the area where your cock joins your belly. Shave that, and you and the missus will be in chaffing hell.
That is all
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-06 09:03:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The arguments on both sides are so well balanced. I can't possibly choose a side.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:55:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why can't you have MANY classic posts? This was good.
Berty, what they say when they serve you is an act.
They are not your friends. Bwahaha!!
I have to go to work now, and Uber is blocked there. Back
in 9 hours or so. Have fun.
------------------------------
Well duh. Of course they aren't your friends. You'd have to be crazy to make friends with a greek.
Stink of piss they do.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:51:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:47:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:44:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:42:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
This will become a classic on Uber.
----------------
No it won't. Ozzy's done better than this.
I mean he had to resort to anti-greek comments. Personally I've always liked greeks, whenever they serve me at the chippy they always say "There you go my friend".
--------------------------
Berty is right. Personally I think my midget post was way better than this.
I swear every Greek I know is called either George or Stavros?
The fact that I only know 2 Greeks is irrelevant.
_____________________________________________________________
Why can't you have MANY classic posts? This was good.
Berty, what they say when they serve you is an act.
They are not your friends. Bwahaha!!
I have to go to work now, and Uber is blocked there. Back
in 9 hours or so. Have fun.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:47:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:44:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:42:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
This will become a classic on Uber.
----------------
No it won't. Ozzy's done better than this.
I mean he had to resort to anti-greek comments. Personally I've always liked greeks, whenever they serve me at the chippy they always say "There you go my friend".
--------------------------
Berty is right. Personally I think my midget post was way better than this.
I swear every Greek I know is called either George or Stavros?
The fact that I only know 2 Greeks is irrelevant.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:44:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:42:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
This will become a classic on Uber.
----------------
No it won't. Ozzy's done better than this.
I mean he had to resort to anti-greek comments. Personally I've always liked greeks, whenever they serve me at the chippy they always say "There you go my friend".
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:43:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:40:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, but shaving your balls is dangerous and causes you to itch for a week
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Shaving your nuts is like trying to perform an appendoctomy on a deflated balloon. And it itches for WAY more than one week!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This will become a classic on Uber.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, but shaving your balls is dangerous and causes you to itch for a week.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-06 08:36:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pubes are ace. They get covered in laydeee goo and you can bury your nose in soft, mushy, loviness.
If a man is bald on his head and bald on his bollocks then he's a freak. No dis-respect to The Taste of Monkeys (aka Cancer Boy).