Flinky™ VI: NINJA SQUIRREL FIGHT (717 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesLabels: series
Rating: 2 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RyuFu (View user info) at 2006-01-06 11:12:14 EST
Part 1 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/78587
Part 2 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/78727
Part 3 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/79200
Part 4 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/81830
Part 5 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/81874
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I used to take aikido and karate in my younger days, but all those intense weeks of training did nothing to prepare me for the intense pack of ninja squirrels. Squirmy and I stood back-to-back as they slowly closed in on us, poised for the kill. Harry had already left the house, no doubt on his way to Jamaica. Squirmy craned his head in my direction and whispered in my ear, "Just try to avoid them--let me attack."
I had no time to fully grasp his words--a flying kick to my head sent me flying across the room adn crashing against the wall. I must have blacked out for a short while, because when I opened my eyes there were at least 3 or 4 ninjas laying lifeless on the ground. I was still a little dizzy, but I realized I was in constant danger. Remembering Squirmy's words I ran and jumped around the room, just narrowly avoiding sword swipes, punches, kicks, head-butts, ninja stars and tail whips.
All the while, Squirmy stood in the center of the room, almost showing off with his amazing fight skills. As amazed as I was when he quickly dispatched the deer in his backyard, I was just flabbergasted as I saw him knock out the ninjas with single well-placed blows.
"FLINKY--HERE!!"
Instead of knocking out one particular ninja, he punched him in the gut and flung him in my direction. I ducked out of the way, only to watch the ninja roll himself up to a fighting stance. It was on. He came at me with a series of flying punches, but I blocked most of them. The ones that connected with my face were surprisingly soft. I backed off, quickly thought out my strategy, then just decided to go at him with several kicks and punches. He blocked them all. And laughed.
I was angry.
In what must have been a surprise move to him, I charged and wrapped myself around him and bit deep into his neck. I can't say I was entirely in control of my emotions at that point, but I remember every detail of the act: feeling that squirrel struggling to break free; tasting the warm blood as my teeth sank in; feeling some skin rip off as I awkwardly wrenched out my my teeth; watching the ninja run around with blood spurting out of his neck. The ninja wasn't the only one surprised by my move. Everyone in the room--the remaining ninja squirrels and Squirmy alike--stared at me like I was a ghost. I tore out the bloody chunk of fur and flesh stuck in my teeth and spit some blood out. One of the ninjas vomited.
Squirmy seized the diversion and smashed two other ninjas' heads together. The ailing ninja escaped through the window. Two ninja squirrels left; one for each of us. They must have been the two strongest and most fearless of the bunch, since my opponent didn't seem too shaken by my move on his cohort. I tried punching, kicking and wrapping myself, but he was way too strong. He didn't even bother blocking my blocks and kicks. He absorbed them and then caught me by the lower left paw as I tried the wrap move and threw me against the wall.
But I was ready. I hit the wall with my feet and used it to jump back at the ninja with a flying ferret kick. He was definitely unprepared for this move. My foot landed hard against his tiny head and cracked neck into several pieces. Squirmy had already finished off his ninja and simply clapped at my performance.
"That was pretty impressive. I didn't know you had it you. Good job, man."
"Thanks, Squirmy. But don't you mean 'mon?'"
"Eh?"
"You know--'mon?' Ganja, rasta, mon? We have to go catch a certain horse and squirrel in Jamaica!"
"What? Are you serious? You really don't have to, your job is done here. It's obvious he used you to get me to find out about Squeegee and our 'goods.' Why risk your life any more than you have to?"
"Hey, come on, you helped me out here. Granted, we wouldn't have been here if you didn't figure out we had to come here, but still...you're pretty much my only friend in the world now. My ex-wife and kids are still cool with me, but I can't be around when her husband's there. My life's been so dull for so long...I have to go. What do you say?"
Squirmy looked reluctant at first, but then smiled.
"Come on, mon. Let's go get some plane tickets."
User Reviews
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-01-09 09:29:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
alba
Submitted by ScholicHockenberry (user info) at 2006-01-06 18:51:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you're still a little bitch...
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:36:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck yes.
you rock at life.
Submitted by Ditka (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
w0000t! I would have liked some more pictures of the ninja squirrels, but this still kicked some furry ass.