Confessions of love from Mr. Phone (817 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.9 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DiggityDarth <Smeagol.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-01-06 11:44:48 EST
these events i am about to describe are all too true. they may have happened last night, or the night prior to last night. i really honestly forget. but they are true.
Some time in the early morning, 1 to 2 am-ish:
Dan (thinking): oo what is this beatiful light coming from the floor. look how it casts beatiful shadows on the ceiling fan!
mr. phone: just me.
Dan: ooo very good, but why did you light up your beatiful LCD screen mr phone?
mr phone: because my bateries are done charging and this fills me with bliss and glee.
Dan: your happiness brings me happiness.
mr phone: thank you dan, you are too kind an owner!
Dan: Oh noes! you deserve many thanks for your dependable service and your david bowie ringtones!
mr phone: 'Unnnnnderrrr presssha! Pressing down onn meee, pressiinnnng down on you da da da daaaaa'
Dan: Ooooo this is our lastttt dance, this is ouuur last danncee. *snap *snap. Under pressure.
mr phone: ba dadada bada da da. ba dadada bada da da. Bum bump!
Dan: I loves you mr phone.
mr phone: dont lead me on dan, your only saying that because you took too many drugs! and I know your taken, you think because im in your back pocket or tossed idly on the floor i dont know what your doing with her. IM A CAMERA PHONE DAMNT I KNOW!!!!
Dan: im sorry i hoped you wouldnt find out! but why cant I love a woman and a phone? why must society look down upon my love for you? Oh WHYS!?
mr phone: I dont know all the answers danny, i dont. I just know i love you too.
Dan: i noes mister phone, but it will never work. not in this world, or lifetime.
mr phone: We can make it work. IN THE NAMe OF LOVE, WE CAN MAKE IT WORK!!!
Dan: mr phone listen to yourself! listen to wat your saying! love doesnt fix everything mr phone, sometimes it just causes hurt! you need to find yourself a nice pretty mrs phone and make little sim cards of your own.
mr phone: NO. thats not what I want. its not FAIR! why did nokia make me different! why am i so attracted to you!
silence.......akward akward silence
dan: it will never work. im soo sorry.
mr phone: remember when you used to play tetris on me?
dan: yeah, me and you buddy, we'd get past all the levels.
mr phone: can we play tetris like that...one more time?
dan: one more time?
mr phone: this will be our....last dance. This is our last dance. *snap *snap
dan: unda pressha
*tears and sobs
Oh Mister Phone
Our love was short but sweet
And When I played tetris on you
I never suffered defeat
I long to put you in my pocket
With your vibrations set on high
But I cannot do this now
Because I let our love
Die :(
Mister Phone and Dan
November 05' to Jan'06
User Reviews
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-01-22 22:51:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
where the fuck did this come from?
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-01-22 22:38:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This somehow makes me having sex with my phone seem less weird....
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-01-22 22:26:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mr phone: because my bateries are done charging and this fills me with bliss and glee.
Laughed out loud.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-07 19:08:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-01-07 04:27:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Delightfully random.
-Dave
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-06 18:02:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
only six weeks?
you whore.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2006-01-06 15:40:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry about your voicemail but you must understand Mr. Phone has a large sexual appetite. Mr. Phone reccomends an abortion for the voicemail. But he wants her to know he supports her no matter what decision is made, and hes ready to pay child support (har har lies) should that be the case.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-01-06 15:34:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:49:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey asshole, your fucking pal Mr. Phone got my goddamned voicemail pregnant.
I'll see you in COURT.
============
Ha!
Submitted by KatHunter (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:59:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"you need to find yourself a nice pretty mrs phone and make little sim cards of your own"
Because of this, there is now milk on my monitor. Thank you.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:49:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey asshole, your fucking pal Mr. Phone got my goddamned voicemail pregnant.
I'll see you in COURT.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:48:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking gold.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:44:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Remember: anyone can turn a phone off...it takes a special sort of man to turn a phone ON.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:40:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh noes!
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:23:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
har
Submitted by the_thorne (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:20:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All your brains are belong to us!!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-06 13:09:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah... I like drugs too.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:20:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck. Someone had a little toke or two?
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:09:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was delightfully random!
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-06 12:04:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:52:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some many feelings here. It's funny as shit. I love the "oh noes!" but the punctuation is horrible! But still I laughed. +2
Submitted by Spacey (user info) at 2006-01-06 11:47:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I have no idea what just happened there, but it made me laugh