Somehow, I've become a dirty old man. AND I LIKE IT!! (1186 hits)
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Rating: 1.85 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by That Is My Stapler (View user info) at 2006-01-06 22:49:30 EST
I have been married twice in my life. Marriage is an interesting thing. If you're honestly into your spouse, you really have no need nor desire to check out other potential mates or even flings. If your marriage is a good one, and is harmonious, and you're happy with each other, then really, the rest of the world can go to hell, for all you care.
That's how it was for me both times. I noticed other women, but seldom gave them much thought. I remembered girls from high school and college on occasion, but had no interest in looking them up or finding out what had become of them. Not because I'm uncaring or callous, but just because that's the way life is.
Anyway, tragically for me, I lost both my wives. One to death, one to divorce. Both experiences were extremely traumatic and painful for me. Maria's death occured when I was at war in Iraq (the first war...yeah yeah yeah, I'm that old). I was still just a kid. When I got the news, I was still so young, and so strong, and busy with my military duties, that I never really had much time to greive. I still think of her often, and my only keepsake of hers, a book she gave me (100 years of Solitude) with an inscription in it telling me she loved me, is turning yellow. I've got it sealed in a plastic baggie, but the years have still taken their toll on it, and it's pages are becoming brittle. I still miss her, but it's been such a long time that the pain has receded. I know she suffered a great deal during her last days, and she was honestly such a really neat person that I'm glad she's gone. 300 people showed up at her wake, down in Texas. And she wasn't even from the United States. I miss you Maria, but I'm glad your ordeal is long over. Nobody should have to linger like that in silent agony for so long.
When I got divorced after 8 years together, I not only lost my compainon, my friend, and my family, but I lost my house, and everything I have worked for my entire life. I went a little crazy then, and started drinking like a true fiend. Actually, I went a LOT crazy, and became very unstable and emotionally distraught. I suppose I don't recover well from things like this, because my divorce was in 2000, and here it is, 2006, and I'm still pretty much a mess. Things have really gone downhill for me since then. I just haven't been able to recover, and depression and lonliness seem to have become my themes in life.
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, makes you feel more like a loser than a bitter divorce.
But it occures to me lately that I've taken the wrong approach. My ex-wife is re-married. We do not speak anymore. In all probability, I'll never see her again, unless it's a chance encounter at the mall or in a restaraunt or something. If that ever happens, I'll probably just duck out the back, or, if forced into speaking, will of course be very polite, ask her how she's doing, and then go my way.
Now, though, it's time to stop greiving and wallowing in misery. I recently took a seasonal job at a college bookstore. Keep in mind that I'm an old old man. I'll soon turn 38. To most of you readers here, that's ancient. (You fuckers. It'll happen to you before you know what happened, so enjoy your youth while it's still with you).
The great thing about my little seasonal college bookstore job is all the SMOKING FUCKING HOT COLLEGE CHICKS that come in to buy books for their classes. GODDAMN. I swear to God, women become more and more attractive with each new generation.
It's fun for me though, to see these young people. They seem to be very very sure of themselves. They also seem to be just unbelievably naive. I'm sure I was the same way, 18 years ago, though in all honesty, I don't really think I was. I have alway been kind of unsure.
But, the point of this post is, I LIKE LOOKING AT COLLEGE GIRL ASS AND I"M AN OLD MAN AND I MUST THANK GOD ABOVE FOR PROVIDING SUCH GREAT LOOKING SCENERY AT THIS POINT IN MY MISERABLE LIFE!!
A couple of girls have caught me oogling their tits and ass. The first couple of times, I could feel my face turn red. And when they catch me doing it, they have one of three facial reactions: a look of disgust, or a raised eyebrow, or a slight smile, blush, and turning away of the eyes.
But now I don't care. If hot young women don't want me looking at their "assets" then they wouldn't dress in skin tight blue jeans. Right? I mean, seriously. What's the point of dressing that way if you don't want the attention?
So now, I look, oogle, and lust like the dirty old perv I've become. And it's quite invigorating. Of course, I would never date any of those girls. After my divorce, when I was around 33, I dated a girl who was 24, and it was a complete disaster. I got burned, and burned HARD. So of course, I'm only interested in women around my own age.
But I can look, by god, I can look.
So I thank you young ladies out there. You're helping to bring this dirty, broken old man out of his shell.
Heh. If your father only knew what I was thinking.
SALUD!
User Reviews
Submitted by EvilGav (user info) at 2006-01-07 20:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, i'm 33 in two months and i've been a dirty old man for a good decade now.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-01-07 17:59:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I cant wait untill I get to be a dirty old man.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2006-01-07 14:33:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SO glad to see you bouncing back, Ebola. Come to Vegas. You can sleep in the timeshare with us. It's free!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-07 13:31:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
38? Bwahahahaha!!
I have a dsughter who is 38. I teach part time at a couple of
local high schools and the community college, and I understand
what you mean. Some of those 20 year-olds should be dressed
in five layers of baggy old clothing.
Submitted by Zol (user info) at 2006-01-07 09:59:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow +2. 38 isn't too old. 40 is.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-01-07 02:23:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Details, man. How did you get burned by the 24 y/old? Either answer by commenting on this post or by creating a new post (titled "re 24 y/olds").
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-01-07 01:46:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you are the father i never had.
you better bring your dirty ass to ubercon-vegas to drown me in tales of your experiences.
i command it!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-01-07 01:25:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I also work at a college, but I have a real job. A real job that affords me an obstructed view of the most frequently used laser printer in the most frequently computer lab. Through a one-way mirror.
Be jealous. Especially when May rolls around.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-07 00:46:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Next thing you know you'll be dropping spare change and pens so they'll pick them up for you and you can catch a glimpse of their taut, bounce-a-quarter-off-me-daddy asses.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-01-07 00:36:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so what your saying is that since I've become "old" (37 also) I can now be dirty old man? I now have a purpose in life...wooooohooooo!!!!
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-01-06 23:32:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha! old
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-01-06 23:29:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
welcome to my world
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-06 23:07:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God speed.
The +2 is for your hardships, not the post per se.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-01-06 22:57:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
gotta love college ass.
and lesbians.