A grammar lesson. (868 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.54 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Targa (View user info) at 2006-01-08 12:45:42 EST
I might be hammered for this, but I'm going to do it just the same. By no means am I saying that my posts are perfect, and I'm also not harping on people who do, indeed, make errors. I'm merely trying to drive stakes into the hearts of people who say things like, "Hey man, learn to type, ok!1 im sick of yoor posts and everyting you say is -2worthy".
After reading all the replies to my last post, and seeing how users correct each other's grammar, only to go on to make errors themselves, this is my grammar lesson for the day:
Apostrophes:
An apostrophe can be used for two distinct reasons:
1) To show possesion. Ex: Charlie's pants are on fire.
2) To form a contraction. Ex: They're going to have to call the fire department.
Please note, that there is an exception to both of these. This exeption is in the case of pronouns. As we all remember from grade two, a pronoun is a word that takes the place of a noun. Ex: It, her, him, they. When pronouns come into play, we do not use an apostrophe to show possesion.
When the backpack-carrying puppy went to the construction site we would say, "The puppy took its backpack to the site."
Alternatively, when the same puppy was squashed by a forklift, we would say, "The puppy's back is now flattened, but it's still sort of cute."
See?
Our next lesson will be concerning the much-debated different between the colon and the semi-colon. Eventually, if you little mongloids come to understand both of the lessons, we might move on to something more exciting, like basic sentence structure.
User Reviews
Submitted by Targa (user info) at 2006-01-09 17:57:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Read it, bought it, laughed along with it.
She has another book about manners that has just recently come out. I have it, but I'm not really a huge fan.
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2006-01-09 00:37:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to say the same thing I say to everyone who posts a grammar or punctuation related post: read "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" by Lynne Truss. Hilarious.
You are not alone, punctuation Nazi.
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2006-01-09 00:37:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to say the same thing I say to everyone who posts a grammar or punctuation related post: read "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" by Lynne Truss. Hilarious.
You are not alone, punctuation Nazi.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-08 21:15:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-08 15:53:02 (#)
Ranking: -1
I won't positively rate a post that was written with the sole intent of providing instruction on a subject when the post itself is wrought with errors. Better luck next time.
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also, i've been known to correct other folk's grammer.
Get it???
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-08 21:09:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-01-08 18:56:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's no use. If second grade failed them, an anonymous figure on a website won't help much.
I hate putting an apostrophe in wont. Never again.
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No apostrophe makes it a completely different word....
Submitted by Targa (user info) at 2006-01-08 20:09:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I should really take this into consideration.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-01-08 18:56:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's no use. If second grade failed them, an anonymous figure on a website won't help much.
I hate putting an apostrophe in wont. Never again.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-01-08 18:56:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's no use. If second grade failed them, an anonymous figure on a website won't help much.
I hate putting an apostrophe in wont. Never again.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-01-08 17:20:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go suck your, Mothers' dick. agAin dipshit?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-08 17:09:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-08 13:19:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
F'uck yo'u;
___________________________________
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Submitted by CRUNKY40 (user info) at 2006-01-08 16:23:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Get a fuckin life.Prick.
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-01-08 16:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-08 13:19:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
F'uck yo'u;
Submitted by Targa (user info) at 2006-01-08 16:09:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Touche.
Touche.
Untrue. Stick around for tomorrow's lesson.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-08 15:53:02 (#)
Ranking: -1
I am also annoyed by poor grammar and spelling, though I'm forgiving when it comes to something written conversationally. We all make mistakes.
That said:
There is no hyphen in the word 'semicolon'.
You also spelled 'mongoloid' and 'exception' incorrectly.
You use a lot of run-on sentences.
I won't positively rate a post that was written with the sole intent of providing instruction on a subject when the post itself is wrought with errors. Better luck next time.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-08 15:58:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Suck my motherfucking balls.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-08 15:53:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I am also annoyed by poor grammar and spelling, though I'm forgiving when it comes to something written conversationally. We all make mistakes.
That said:
There is no hyphen in the word 'semicolon'.
You also spelled 'mongoloid' and 'exception' incorrectly.
You use a lot of run-on sentences.
I won't positively rate a post that was written with the sole intent of providing instruction on a subject when the post itself is wrought with errors. Better luck next time.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2006-01-08 15:31:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
much needed with good imagery
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2006-01-08 15:03:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
pompous butt-face
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-01-08 14:21:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-08 13:19:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
F'uck yo'u;
________________
Entertaining, but I also laughed at the puppy becoming flat. Strong Bad did a song on this one time.
Submitted by Doberish (user info) at 2006-01-08 14:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-08 13:19:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
F'uck yo'u;
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I wub you, Shlong.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2006-01-08 13:57:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha, FANTASTIC! Keep up the great work!
Submitted by Ditka (user info) at 2006-01-08 13:46:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Eventually, if you little mongloids come to understand both of the lessons, we might move on to something more exciting, like basic sentence structure.
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the post was patronizing as it was, albeit informative. That last sentence sent it down the tubes. cocker
Submitted by MavisMing (user info) at 2006-01-08 13:30:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I just got a semi thinking about your colon
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-01-08 13:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I like the sentiment but you should have proof read it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-08 13:19:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
F'uck yo'u;
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-01-08 13:06:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Targa (user info) at 2006-01-08 13:05:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Good call. Also different / difference. Oops.
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2006-01-08 13:02:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
possession
(keep the +2 for when you feel it)
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2006-01-08 13:02:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
possession
(keep the +2 for when you feel it)
Submitted by Targa (user info) at 2006-01-08 12:53:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for the first person to find my spelling mistake in this.
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-01-08 12:50:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I never have paid attention to that rule.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-01-08 12:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I only know how to write Vietnamese.