Makes Me Feel Old! (454 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.32 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Chris Wright <badlydrawnchris.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-01-11 06:43:22 EST
MAKES ME FEEL OLD
I feel young, I know I am young and I look young, however recently I am starting to act and feel very old. The scary thing is that it is all happening so quickly. One day I was a happy go lucky party animal of a graduate now I am a grumpy old man who iron's his boxer shorts. So I have compiled a list of answers to a question that has been plaguing me for a while "Why do I feel old?"
1) My present girlfriend.
She is absolutely gorgeous, funny, caring, entertaining and a good seven years my senior. Sometimes this makes me feel a lot older than I really am. She is a disorganised and as unsettled as me, her friends on the other hand are very different. They all hold 'old' people jobs (School Teacher, Lecturers, Professors etc), they have kids, they have mortgages and they own weird cutlery (lemon squeezers, garlic crushers). MAKES ME FEEL OLD!
Second thoughts it cant be my girlfriend, because when we are together she makes me feel so young and I make her feel as giddy as a schoolgirl, plus the vast amount of bedroom gymnastics keeps us in shape and makes me feel young.
2) The world in general and my realisation about it.
When you are young you just don't realise what exactly is going on the world. For example I have lived through many 'conflicts' and wars however only since 'Iraqi Freedom' have I really understood what is going on. Not only that I also have opinions on such things. A few years ago I was pretty opinion less:
'So Dante what do you think of war?' Reply 'Who gives a f*ck, where is my beer?'
MAKES ME FEEL OLD.
3) TV and how is used to be good.
I used to love TV now I don't. I can't stand it. It actually makes me feel repulsed. I am fed up with adverts and reality programmes. I remember when British TV used to show brilliant Sitcoms (Only Fools and Horses, Porridge). Apart from a few rare gems (The Office, Peep Show) British TV is absolutely dog's turd (American TV is worse). When I was a child I never ever thought I would hate TV. I do now.
HATING TV MAKES ME FEEL OLD
4) Drugs
I am a heavy smoker, and a heavy drinker. I also like to dabble in other naughty recreational pleasures. At the time of drug ingestion and saturation I feel ever so young. This lasts the night. Then the next day, boy do I feel old. My bones ache like my arthritic granny, I feel as emotional as a menopausal woman and my skin, eyes and hair makes me look like a tramp.
DRUGS ARE GOOD BUT MAKE ME FEEL OLD
5) Work
My smelly office next to the toilet. MAKES ME FEEL OLD.
My continuous workload. MAKES ME FEEL OLD.
My 40 min tube journey to and from work. MAKES ME FEEL OLD.
Looking at stupid computer pixels all day. MAKES ME FEEL OLD
Overall MAKES ME FEEL OLD.
This is my first post but be as nasty as you want you Jackals!
Dante
User Reviews
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-02-07 11:45:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-01-12 04:35:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
For a first post, this wasn't too bad.
THIS WASN'T TOO BAD
At least it had content, and wasn't copied from somewhere.
IT WASN'T TOO BAD
Try attaching a picture next timne, this offered a good opportunity.
THIS POST WASN'T TOO BAD
And maybe try not punctuating your post with a capitalised catchphrase which interrupted your narrative and made you sound like a
FUCKING SCHIZOPHRENIC
Submitted by DarkDante (user info) at 2006-01-12 04:27:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yep 91! Jurassic Park 1993. That makes me feel really old?
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Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-11 11:54:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
The fact that Goldeneye came out in 1995 makes me feel old.
Backdraft? 1991.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-11 11:54:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The fact that Goldeneye came out in 1995 makes me feel old.
Backdraft? 1991.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-11 11:47:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
As has been said before, for a first post, not bad. Welcome to Uber. Rate my posts +2 or you will be banned.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-11 11:44:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
they own weird cutlery (lemon squeezers, garlic crushers).
weird cutlery increases proportionally to age, with a noted exponential jump at the time of marriage if a bridal shower is provided.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-11 11:42:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hearing pearl jam and nirvana on "classic rock" stations makes me feel old.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-01-11 11:38:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Everything makes me feel old.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-11 09:42:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
old people smell funny.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-01-11 09:31:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad for a first post...
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2006-01-11 08:53:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You made ME feel old reading this.
You've got to be fairly young - if you were older, you'd quit your fucking whinging about how old you feel.
It's life mate, you can't skate it off - just enjoy the ability to see things a little clearer.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-01-11 08:34:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uber is on the verge of collapsing upon itself, but welcome to the site. Two years ago, this would be a -1 overall rating right now, but thanks to the dilution of the Uber waters, it has a positive rating.
"The other day I heard a song that made me think about the way we were."
"What was the song?"
"The Way We Were."
Mem'ries,
Light the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? could we?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-11 08:22:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not a bad first post.
Submitted by DarkDante (user info) at 2006-01-11 08:11:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The errors give it character. I spy an error 'psost' below!
Thanks for the warm welcome.
--------
But you mentioned that it was your first psost, and there are a few little errors dotted through the text.
Have a 0, and welcome to Uber.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-11 07:56:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-11 07:45:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
What's wrong with being old? No more being frantic or empty, no more 'keeping up appearances' bullshit with the lads, no more shopping at Topshop. M&S Y's, Saturday night's at the local and dinner isn't from a packet. Getting on with getting on, driving a Saab and forgetting what it means to be alone. Sounds like paradise to me.
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No more erections.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-11 07:45:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's wrong with being old? No more being frantic or empty, no more 'keeping up appearances' bullshit with the lads, no more shopping at Topshop. M&S Y's, Saturday night's at the local and dinner isn't from a packet. Getting on with getting on, driving a Saab and forgetting what it means to be alone. Sounds like paradise to me.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-11 07:40:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course not, you've got a girlfriend. Sorry.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-11 07:40:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Chris? As in Chris Chris? As in Chris what knows Berty?
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-11 07:30:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Doesn't deserve a minus 2nami, as it wasn't terrible.
But you mentioned that it was your first psost, and there are a few little errors dotted through the text.
Have a 0, and welcome to Uber.
Submitted by Spacey (user info) at 2006-01-11 07:18:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-01-11 06:58:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is my first post but be as nasty as you want you Jackals!
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We generally don't want to be nasty. If you're going to SAY it's your first post, then tradition dictates a -2nami. It's nothing personal, you understand; it's tradition. You don't fuck with tradition.
Y'old fart.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-01-11 06:57:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well....auto -2 for it being you first post, and auto -2 for actually mentinoing that it was your first post, +1 for the email address, meh it weren't that bad.