Anal sex is not as fun without an audience. (2160 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.66 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Dread Pirate Wesley <weasul-at-gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-01-11 14:30:19 EST
My sophomore year of college I dated a girl I like to refer to as Seventeen. That's simply because she was seventeen when we were dating (yes, that's legal in Connecticut). Seventeen wasn't exactly mentally stable. OK, she was flat out crazy. She loved her sex hard, which I didn't mind, but often asked me to do odd things. Things like cut myself during sex and use the blood as lube. Things like blow me when I was taking a shit. Things like having me "mock" rape her. Things like tossing my salad like it was her job (I even referred to her as "The Salad Toss Boss"). You get the point. I didn't do any of these things all too often, but I definitely fucked the hell out of her.
The best part about our relationship was the way it started. I was at a party and I had just gotten my dick pierced. So naturally, I was whipping it out all night. Well, her and her fat friends were sitting on the couch and I whipped out my dick and showed them. The next day I saw her at dinner and she was obsessed about it, so we started dating. Odd, I know, but now that I think about it, out of my past five girlfriends, four of them had saw my penis before they even talked to me.
This fateful night took place late April of 2005. I was partying at some off campus apartments and got really drunk. I was on the brink of blacking out. Hell, most of the night I gathered from what I said to my roommate, Hollywood, and to Seventeen. A little bit was filled in by IM logs and voicemails, also.
I left the party early because I had a raging hard-on that needed satisfaction. Seeing as to how my girlfriend was 100 feet away, I decided to stumble over to her room. Before heading to her room, I briefly stopped in my room and took a couple of swigs of Jack. That's it folks, Wesley's gone and done it again. After my kiss of death, I staggered up the stairs on the other side of the building to Seventeen's room. When I was standing outside of it, I heard a small crowd in her room. I thought this was weird, but knocked anyway.
I was knocking on her door for a good five minutes. Then knocking turned to kneeing. Kneeing went to kicking, and kicking progressed to head butts. Finally, after about 15 minutes of noise, she answered the door. I pushed my way into the room and loudly proclaimed, "Seventeen, I'm going to fuck you harder than you thought possible!" Apparently all her neighbors heard this and scurried to her door. I was also too drunk to notice the group of eight of her friends in her room.
Once I was in the room and the door was closed, I quickly get naked. I didn't even give her time to get naked. She was taking off her pants when I pulled off her underwear and threw her on the bed. I pulled on my condom and started plowing her in her ass.
Now, me fucking a girl in the ass isn't uncommon. I've done it to almost every girl I've ever hooked up with. What is uncommon, however, is for me to do it with an audience. Not only an audience outside the door, but an audience of eight others in a 10'x15' room. I didn't even know they were in there until, right in the middle of me dogging her, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and one of her guy friends was standing there with his hand out in a high-five fashion. I gave him the high-five and continued away, forgetting about the distraction.
Only a few minutes had passed when I got distracted again. Her two bisexual friends had gotten naked and tried to climb into bed with us. Now, one of these girls was easily one of the hottest girls on campus. The other one was kind of scary, but if it meant I got to bang the hot one, I'd let her join in. Not this night, however. I was so drunk that I turned down a foursome. I didn't think that level of drunk was possible. I pushed the other girls out of the bed and continued pumping.
Finally, after a few more random distractions, I came. I pulled out of her ass and grabbed a beer bottle. I then proceeded to put the condom on the beer bottle and smash it against the wall. On my way out I yelled "Who's the ass master!? You people love to watch me fuck!"
I hurried on down to my room and busted open my door. I told Hollywood of my feat and his smile showed me that he was proud. I sat down and drank a little more Jack, when all of a sudden, the phone rang. I answered it and it was Seventeen:
Seventeen: "You shouldn't have done that with my friends here."
Me: "Sorry, I have a dick and it was destined for one of your holes tonight. I don't care if your friends were there."
Seventeen: "I don't care. That kind of thing can ruin me forever. Don't ever do it again."
Me: "Fuck off. I'll do as I please."
Seventeen: "My friend's are gone now. You scared them off by smashing the beer bottle on the wall. Come on back up."
Woo hoo, Wesley's getting seconds! I got dressed again (I like lounging around naked) and ran up to her room. When I got in there, she was already naked and on her bed. I jumped on top of her and she flipped me over and got on top of me. "I'm in control this time," she said, and I just agreed with her.
She put the condom on me and started fucking me like crazy. She was yelping like a hurt antelope. I was honestly almost in tears from laughing so hard at her noises. She was severely pissed and wanted to know what the fuck I was laughing about. Since she was so mad, she started fucking me even harder. That's when it started. I felt my penis in intense pain. Almost unbearable. However, I was drunk and determined to cum again, so I persevered through the pain. It kept on intensifying and intensifying until I finally forced myself to come. I quickly got her off of me and ran into the light. When I looked down I damn near fainted.
Me: "No wonder that fucking hurt so much! My fucking cock is bleeding!" (the piercing was still a little fresh, this made perfect sense.)
Seventeen: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Me: "The fucking condom is filled with blood! My cock is leaking blood!"
Seventeen: "Let me see."
Me: "Look at what you fucking did you bitch! I will never fuck you again! There is blood on my cock! That's not normal!"
Seventeen: "Wesley, it's a red condom."
I was so pissed when she told me that so I proceeded to rip the condom off and throw it at her. She started crying, I yelled something along the lines of "Fuck you" while getting dressed and stormed off.
I remember leaving her room. I remember leaving her suite. I remember crawling down the stairs. I do not remember lying down on those stairs to "take a nap."
I awoke in the afternoon the next day at about 2:00PM. I was sprawled out across an entire flight of stairs. My head was on the top stair, the left leg propped up against the wall, my left arm above my head, my right leg extending down the stairs, and my right arm dangling off the edge of the stairs. The thing that gets me though is that no one woke me up. I passed out on the first flight of stairs on the ground level of the building. It was 2:00PM, so several people must have passed me before I woke up. And all of them went without saying a word.
After that night, Seventeen and I broke up. I still got sex from her whenever I wanted until she said something I will never forgive. It was her that made me set an age limit. Have I adhered to the age limit? Of course not, young chicks are easy.
I will always be the ass master.
User Reviews
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2006-01-13 07:32:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cock piercing ...automatic -2 but funny story
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-01-12 21:33:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this is bullshit.
she was 17 and a sophomore in college? she doesn't sound like a genius to me.
"hey my friends just watched you fuck me in the ass and if you do it again they may not respect me anymore."
this story (and i use the term loosely) is juvenile garbage. if you want to write fiction, fine but don't try to pass it off as genuine when there are such glaring holes in it.
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-01-12 20:44:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My sophomore year of college I dated a girl I like to refer to as Seventeen. That's simply because she was seventeen when we were dating (yes, that's legal in Connecticut). Seventeen wasn't exactly mentally stable. OK, she was flat out crazy. She loved her sex hard, which I didn't mind, but often asked me to do odd things. Things like cut myself during sex and use the blood as lube. Things like blow me when I was taking a shit
-------------------------------------
Got that far and decided you aren't fit to stare at the same sky I do.
Die.
Submitted by weasul (user info) at 2006-01-12 20:34:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FistSoup (user info) at 2006-01-11 23:49:27 (#)
Ranking: 1
So? What was it she said that you'll never forgive?
==================================
She told me to kill myself in the same way my best friend did. "Go jump off the parking garage like Gary did!" were her exact words.
And I got my dick pierced for pleasure. It enhances feeling astronomically. It exposes nerves that have never been touched, so it's quite the experience.
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:26:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Her asshole must whistle like a train if you were to blow across her cheeks...
i had a friend like that, actually...
he couldn't fart anymore; it was an SBD or a little whistle..
hahahaha
Submitted by everett3 (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:19:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
uhm?
Submitted by FistSoup (user info) at 2006-01-11 23:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
So? What was it she said that you'll never forgive?
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-11 21:59:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
posh.
you're a disgusting human being.
amusing, but disgusting nonetheless.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-11 21:44:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I always enjoy hearing a "sex story" fram an obvious virgin like this dweeb.
Submitted by TrickyRicky (user info) at 2006-01-11 21:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by dangerdude (user info) at 2006-01-11 21:36:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bullshit you fucking liar.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-01-11 21:24:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And then i realized i was so drunk that none of this ever happened!
Come on man, this shit isn't even believable.
Submitted by weasul (user info) at 2006-01-11 17:16:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not Tucker Max at all, and it did happen.
True story.
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-01-11 17:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You are watching too much porn kid.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:57:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:04:52 (#)
Ranking: 1
This never happened.
But it was entertaining, so +1!
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:38:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:35:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
You certainly are the ass master.
================
or is that master ass?
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This never happened.
But it was entertaining, so +1!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:02:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:45:56 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey man, Tucker Max called. He wants his story back.
---------
a zero because it was well written, if nearly identical to something else i had read.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't worry, one day you will have a real girlfriend and you won't have to make up this stuff to try and impress random people on the internet.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:48:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And I know it's not Tucker Max verbatim, but I think it would qualify as plagiarism or at least a trademark violation.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:45:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey man, Tucker Max called. He wants his story back.
Submitted by the_thorne (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to know what it was that this girlsaid that you couldn't forgive.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:36:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:30:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Who among us hasn't gotten fucked by a drunken, pierced-dick lunatic in front of a roomful of people?
===============
Here here.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:30:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who among us hasn't gotten fucked by a drunken, pierced-dick lunatic in front of a roomful of people?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You, sir, are a fresh breath of air in n00bland.
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:20:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:36:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
What's that place you like, with the shit on the walls and the mozz sticks?
....................................................
Exactly, I enjoyed the story, but one thing bothered me
Your girl was in a room with 8 people, these people being a mix of girls AND guys
it took her 15 minutes to open the door
two of her friends were ready to fuck right along with you
did it ever occur to you that they were all running a train on your girlfriend before you got there?
just curious, although judging from this story (if it's true) that wouldn't bother you
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:14:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Very odd.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:06:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the mental pic of you passed out on the steps, with people walking by you while pointing and laughing.
classic.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:05:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're not a very good drunk, are you?
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:04:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Odd, I know, but now that I think about it, out of my past five girlfriends, four of them had saw my penis before they even talked to me.
==============================================
This isn't very odd.
But you ARE the ass master sir.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:03:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I have questions.
pierced penis? where exactly on your penis are you pierced?
why does one do this?
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:51:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
She was yelping like a hurt antelope.
Submitted by weasul (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:50:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:43:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:36:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
What's that place you like, with the shit on the walls and the mozz sticks?
-----
i know....
...SHENANIGANS!
=====================================================
Go ahead and call it. Go to tuckermax.com and read all of his stories. You won't find this one. This is not one of his. This is of much lesser quality and a story that happened to me, written by me.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:49:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what did she say? and really um what did she think would ruin her reputation? she started undressing herself i'm kinda confused on how she thought you were the one ruining her reputation.
on a side note about girls: if one of them is crazy in the bad way, her friends are most likely crazy in the bad way too.
Submitted by ryan5012 (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:48:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:35:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
You certainly are the ass master.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:45:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Smiles.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:43:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:36:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
What's that place you like, with the shit on the walls and the mozz sticks?
-----
i know....
...SHENANIGANS!
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's that place you like, with the shit on the walls and the mozz sticks?
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:36:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Odd, I know, but now that I think about it, out of my past five girlfriends, four of them had saw my penis before they even talked to me."
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:35:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You certainly are the ass master.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:33:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You are not my son!
-- Homer Simpson
Boy-Scoutz n the Hood