TRUE FACTS: Volume One (1586 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 0.93 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by wijormiclat (View user info) at 2006-01-11 14:30:37 EST
These are true facts, as documented by the Smithsonian Institute of General Knowledge and Internal Regualtions.
- Moonrock consists of 68% Nitrogen, 10% Graphite, 20% Miscellaneous materials, and 2% mescaline.
- Contrary to popular belief, mammals DID exist in the triassic period. They were similar in build to the womp rat in Star Wars. They went into extinction due to their lack of genitals.
- John Smith's, from the story of Pocohontas, not only slept with her, but her entire tribe. When the ship's captain discovered this, Smith established an all indian brothel to service his ship's crew in a sly attempt to save face.
- The first documented rapper lived in the colonial era, under the handle "Handlebar Moustache." He was quickly thrown in jail by his puritain peers when he was found snorting snuff off a prostitute's mammaries.
- The longest erection ever sustained was that of Pope Nathan VII of Sandwich, after seeing a stage play of an earlier version of "The Little Rascals" entitled "Build Me a Doghouse, Strumpet!"
- The movie "Ernest Goes to the Ghetto" is a loosely plagarized version of William Shakespeare's little known play "Swampie the Boxing Day Frog."
- One of the ingredients of plastic explosives is the No. 2 pencil.
- The Sheriff of Nottingham, before he legally changed his name, was called Micheal Hunt.
- When injected intravenously, the mango serves as a powerful hallucinogen, instigating homosexuality in Silverback Gorillas.
- One of Winston Churchill's guilty pleasures included watching his dog, Rufus, attempt to mate with his Etch-a-Sketch.
User Reviews
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-05-18 03:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-05-18 03:23:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
he -2ed two of your posts you autard.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:13:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dubteehef?
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:26:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Bah..... I bet I could do slightly better...
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No, dude, you can't.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-01-12 04:21:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yo! ELECTRO'S REALLY A RETARD!
Pass it on.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-11 22:01:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
posh.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-01-11 18:38:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:26:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a buddy named Mike Hunt.
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I showed him a good time
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-01-11 18:37:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well shit.
My damn subconscious suggests something thats actually true, I guess I must have heard that somewhere.
So I guess there hasn't been any dumb kids spooning jar after jar of nutmeg into their mouths.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-01-11 18:23:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-01-11 17:48:09 (#)
Ranking: 1
I got a shit load of really true facts and put
'nutmeg in large quantities is a hallucenogencic'
in with them.
Except I looked up how to spell halucinoginic.
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Funny you mention that, because nutmeg actually does have a psychoactive in it called myristicin.
myristicin
A toxic, crystalline, safrole derivative present in star anise, parsley seed oil, and nutmeg oil. When ingested in large quantities, it can cause convulsions, hallucinations, tachycardia, and possibly death.
In order to get a "nutmeg buzz" you would have to ingest about 10 grams of it.\
I'm serious. Check it out:
http://www.erowid.org/plants/nutmeg/nutmeg.shtml
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-01-11 17:52:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA!
This is hilarious.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-01-11 17:48:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I got a shit load of really true facts and put
'nutmeg in large quantities is a hallucenogencic'
in with them.
Except I looked up how to spell halucinoginic.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-11 17:05:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The first documented rapper lived in the colonial era, under the handle "Handlebar Moustache." He was quickly thrown in jail by his puritain peers when he was found snorting snuff off a prostitute's mammaries.
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For that.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:56:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:38:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
FOLLOW UP TO THE MAMMAL FACT:
These womp rat like creatures were asexually produced by Fluff's mom, who is actually a crack-addled sloth that has more missing chromosones than Rainman's sperm soaked in LSD.
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Don't make fun of fluff, it's not his fault he's genetically challenged :(. He already has to ride the short bus with electro to school everyday.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:39:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Chromosomes. FUCK!
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:38:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FOLLOW UP TO THE MAMMAL FACT:
These womp rat like creatures were asexually produced by Fluff's mom, who is actually a crack-addled sloth that has more missing chromosones than Rainman's sperm soaked in LSD.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:33:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Contrary to popular belief, mammals DID exist in the triassic period. They were similar in build to the womp rat in Star Wars. They went into extinction due to their lack of genitals.
____________________________
Then how were they born? Was it like crossing a donkey with a horse and getting a mule, except with weird lizard-ish things?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:30:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
gotta get me some of them moon rocks
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:27:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my apologies, I believed each and every single one of these.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:19:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:09:18 (#)
Ranking: -1
Get lost with true facts we can look up for ourselves.... Not everyone on this site is 15 yrs old and needs guidance.
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Clearly you're only fifteen years old if you couldn't tell immediately that these "true facts" are all complete bullshit and this was intended as a joke. Albiet, not a very good one.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:17:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lkie co9oolesttt facts evvar in world planet urff. soooo reall all daye i belioieve 1000000% perceent. peeoooplle beeilve everrything i sayy evvrerytuime itt iss liek i am reallly smartt annnd neveerr uuused saracsasm!!1
People are ghey. Continue with your awesome sarcasm. Take your vitamins too.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:12:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:09:18 (#)
Ranking: -1
Get lost with true facts we can look up for ourselves.... Not everyone on this site is 15 yrs old and needs guidance.
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good luck looking these up.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:11:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
For fluff's, and apparently many other people's benefit:
satire:
Noun
1. a. A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit. b. The branch of literature constituting such works. See Synonyms at caricature. 2. Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity.
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:09:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Get lost with true facts we can look up for ourselves.... Not everyone on this site is 15 yrs old and needs guidance.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:02:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
AAAAARRRRGGGGGGGG. These facts aren't real!!! An animal with no genitals??? Come ON people.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:00:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fun, but I call shenanigans on most of these. Where's the link to your source?
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:56:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
how did mammals without genitals reproduce?
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:26:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a buddy named Mike Hunt.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:26:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bah..... I bet I could do slightly better...
Submitted by Azk (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:16:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:46:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
This list was so long my fucking eyes exploded from sheer exhaustion
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This was good. -2 is wayyyy to harsh.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:13:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Strumpet" is one of my very favorite words.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:07:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
- When injected intravenously, the mango serves as a powerful hallucinogen, instigating homosexuality in Silverback Gorillas.
================
I was wondering why I liked mangoes and monkeys so much.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:04:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The longest erection ever sustained was that of Pope Nathan VII of Sandwich, after seeing a stage play of an earlier version of "The Little Rascals" entitled "Build Me a Doghouse, Strumpet!"
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How long did it last?
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:00:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha... i dated a mike hunt once...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:46:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This list was so long my fucking eyes exploded from sheer exhaustion
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:42:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you too man
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PS
I love Jeaneee
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:36:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I met a guy named Mike Hunt at a frat party once. I, being a drunken ass, said "What were your parents thinking?" He said, "My parents died when I was 5."
He's the one named Mike Hunt and I'm the one who ends up looking like a jerkoff. Story of my life.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:35:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YES!!!!!!!!