Mutual Schizophrenia (792 hits)
Category: PoliticsLabels: uberbookdrama
Rating: 1 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spencer Thompson (View user info) at 2006-01-11 22:35:20 EST
Travis sat alone on the couch staring intently at the fuzzy screen as George W. Bush gave an important speech. Travis broke his concentration for just a second to adjust the tinfoil atop his head and went immediately back to concentrating on the television. The hat served the purpose of magnifying the brainwaves Travis sent to President Bush, telling the puppet what to do.
Travis had, in actuality, been the person who had won the 2004 election. And the 2000 election. And even election since 1980 when the CIA first sent brainwaves to him letting him know they had chosen him to lead the country via Telepsypathiothiopsychosis. The CIA knew Travis was the smartest man in the United States and most capable to lead, but if he were to simply run for President, his genius mind would be lost after only 2 terms. The CIA found a method of bypassing this. They would fix elections that specially chosen puppets would be elected, and Travis would control them from his home.
For years Travis would wake up, send brainwaves all day then go to the town square and preach about the New World Order, until in 1997 when the CIA decided his security was at risk.
After that incident, Travis became deathly afraid that he would be assassinated. He changed his name, moved to Tennessee, and got a haircut. He was the smartest man in the world and as such he needed to take the utmost care he would be protected. Surely the CIA was protecting him in covert action, but he could never be too careful.
Travis was engrossed by the TV, straining every fuse in his brain, but for some reason his messages were weak. It was when he got up to grab more foil that he saw the face in the window.
The mysterious man leapt through the window and tackled Travis. Travis began signaling desperately for the CIA but to no avail. The man was covered head to toe in wax paper, which absorbed the waves before the could even leave the room.
"I know who you are, Travis!" yelled the mysterious man angrily, rage in his eyes. "I've been tracking you since 1997 and I finally found you! We have term limits for a fucking reason, you commie!"
With that, the mysterious man assassinated Travis.
On the fuzzy TV, George Bush was stuttering and couldn't seem to continue what he had started saying just a minute ago.
User Reviews
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:58:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Spencer, you're a funny dude, you used to be my fave.
Step it up a notch, your writing is starting to cave.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-01-11 23:17:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
I think Travis died the day GW became president. He's been saying stupid stuff as long as I can rememeber
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agreed. liked the little story though.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
But whom killed him and why?
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-01-12 01:26:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-01-12 00:14:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This wasn't even remotely about George W. Bush.
Even a little bit.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-01-12 00:02:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
another GW-related post? fuck, i hate the guy too but could we give it a rest? it's not even that funny anymore. yes, he stutters. yes, he drools. yes, he is a goddamned retard. but, its been done before, to death.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-01-11 23:17:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
I think Travis died the day GW became president. He's been saying stupid stuff as long as I can rememeber.
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2006-01-11 22:58:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
interesting
Submitted by Icedragon (user info) at 2006-01-11 22:44:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2006-01-11 22:43:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lets play: Tinfoil, Waxpaper, Scissors
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-01-11 22:39:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That must;ve been when he said:
"Fool me once.....Fool Me. We can't get fooled again..."
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-11 22:37:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's not worth the +2,
but what the hell,
i chuckled.