Awake, Alert, Alive and Ready (521 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Atheist Embryo (View user info) at 2006-01-12 02:35:47 EST
A half crescent moon smiles at me while the streetlights separate the shadow I cast into two opposite minded yet identical people.
With every step that I take the two shadows come closer together.
With every step that I take the two identities drift further apart.
I am one man split by two cravings, the sober and the rest.
On the one hand I have him, the sober. The things he says are true and somewhat boring.
"I like to do everything really, just so long as it is with the right company." He says.
"Oh, yeah so do I. But what is your favorite thing to do?" She asked him.
"Well, I don't know, I like to go out and watch karaoke, or um, I don't know, I suppose bowling is fun."
"Yeah, that's cool I suppose." She told him.
The night ended with an alone and sober walk home and the music bumping in his headphones.
The other side has him, the intoxicated. The things he does and says are considered wacky and unconventional.
"Lets make a baby or die trying." He says.
A quite chuckle erupts from her, the girl he's talking out to.
"You know cheesy pick up lines don't work, don't you?" She tells him.
"It got you talking to me, didn't it?" He says.
The banging sound of metal on plaster clatters throughout the bathroom as he crushes the rock inside the tiny dark plastic bag with his Zippo.
A straw shows its face and awakens the night with its hallow personality and welcoming white and clear features.
A long sniff from each nostril and a deep snort later he feels the power of the reflection in the mirror blowing through him.
The bitter numbing taste of the coke runs down the back of my throat as the decision of whom I am to become lingered inside of me.
User Reviews
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2006-01-15 03:02:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What the hell is this shit?
Submitted by Embryo (user info) at 2006-01-15 02:53:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Ghola, I love your writing and if anything I ever write sounds like your writing I'll be happy about it. I think you are very talented.
When I first read your comment I thought it was a passing of judgement because of my obvious use of cocaine. That's why I asked.
I just try to not judge other people because it is impossible to actually live in their mind and shoes.
Adios.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-14 13:57:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Embryo (user info) at 2006-01-13 00:59:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Ghola, I really enjoy your writing, but out of curiousity what did you mean when you said
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also, i opened this post up and thought--- "that looks like something i wrote."
fortunately it didn't sound like anything i wrote. heh.
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Just wondering..yeah.
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was refering to the spacing, structuring, and the heavy use of dialogue.
I didn't want to be so insulting as to say you actually sounded like me though.
heh.
Submitted by Embryo (user info) at 2006-01-13 00:59:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Ghola, I really enjoy your writing, but out of curiousity what did you mean when you said
-------
also, i opened this post up and thought--- "that looks like something i wrote."
fortunately it didn't sound like anything i wrote. heh.
-------
Just wondering..yeah.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:43:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
posh.
Submitted by zerosx (user info) at 2006-01-12 10:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wickedly Familiar....
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-12 10:39:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The coke trip did it for me.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-01-12 10:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Batman?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-12 08:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ignore what i said about tense.
sorry.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-12 08:50:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
be careful to write in the same tense throughout.
also, i opened this post up and thought--- "that looks like something i wrote."
fortunately it didn't sound like anything i wrote. heh.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-01-12 08:13:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought there was chocolate inside ... Well, why was it wrapped in foil?
-- Homer Simpson
Mr. Plow
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2006-01-12 06:54:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-12 05:59:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd like to read more stories about cocaine.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-01-12 05:20:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This went too long unrated.
And it was too good to be ignored.