You are all going to die. Okay maybe not all, but a couple of you. (2643 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.44 on 116 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cadrach (View user info) at 2006-01-12 12:04:39 EST
This may be a touchy subject, and I apologize to anyone who can't take this in the nature it is intended - which is to say in the spirit of gambling.
We all know or should know that death has recently paid a visit to Ubersite.com. Not to dwell unduly on the person or persons affected by this in a real, non-internet, way there is still something about which I think we all need to be aware. The fact of the matter is that it is never just one person from a group that dies. These things happen in threes. Almost without exception three people with some sort of strange connection will die around the same time frame.
At least that's what I've heard. I've never actually known anyone who died. But that's really beside the point here. What I'm trying to say is that you can bet your ass that sometime in the near future two more Uberites are going to bite the dust. It is sad, but it is also unavoidable.
With that knowledge firmly grasped it falls to those of us who remain to figure out who it is going to be.
Most of you don't know this about me, but I am fairly psychic and I'm trying to develop that skill a little more. So for the profit and benefit of Ubersite, I've pulled out my ouija board and my tarot cards and determined HOW most of you will die.
I'm not good at making odds though. My powers don't reach that far. All I can sense for sure is that the safe money is on Shitfuck. You guys are on your own after that.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
AHUMBLEFOOL - Falls into icy crevasse attempting to summit Mt. Everest. Body found thousands of years later by scientists who determine that the primary source of nourishment in the 21st century was PowerBars.
APOLLO88 - Crushed when cranium collapses under own weight/gravity Resulting black hole eventually destroys entire Milky Way galaxy.
AVERAGE_DAN - Rogaine addiction rages out of control. Looses job and apartment and is eventually shot to death by police in a botched attempt to rob liquor store.
BADASSMOFO - Slips on wet tile floor getting out of shower, cracks skull on toilet, dies.
BART- Beebed to death after refusing to unban Habeeb Thomas.
BIG MIKE - Stroke caused by complications stemming from Diabetes.
BERTY - A man's body can contain only so much unused sexual tension. Unable to find a partner at any price Berty explodes - dying a virgin and covering seventeen city blocks in splooge.
BILLSSBCHAMPS - Improvised Explosive Device.
BLITZKREIG_BOB - Drunk driving accident. Also kills family of five after crossing centerline and colliding head-on with their Toyota Prius.
Bob - Brutally beaten to death when forced to move out of parents' house and communicate with real people who don't like snot nosed teenagers.
BUCKEYESTHEGAME - Realizes that it is only a game and kills self.
C1NDY - Chased back to ancient castle by angry farmers with torches and pitchforks. Castle burned down, C1ndy presumably killed in ensuing blaze.
CADRACH - Crushed and critically injured by -2nami then ironically run over by wah-mbulance.
CAPTAIN THORNS - Lupus. What? There is no way to tie musical ability to bizarre cause of death. Could go the Spinal Tap route but spontaneous combustion doesn't work here.
CAULAINCOURT - Reads random Jack McCallum post and spontaneously combusts.
CIRCE - Runs out of kibble and is killed and eaten by own children.
COOKIELASS - Ham sandwich.
CORN NUGGET - Breast cancer.
ELECTRICTOOTHSYNDROME - Tortured to death in secret U.S. prison in Poland after Bush administration discovers that he has been spreading the truth on Ubersite.com.
ELECTRO - Drowns trying to smell the pretty flowers on bottom of bathtub.
ESS_ARR - Lives by default, even though he did a T.M.I. I can't sense how he will die. Must mean he lives.
FARTSMELLER - Aneurism brought about by huffing methane.
FATMANTPK - Catches chair to the temple during fight erupting during taping of his third appearance on the Jerry Springer show.
FAT TONY - Executed gangland style while sleeping. Wife has alibi, but also cashes in extremely large and newly purchased life insurance policy days after the incident. The crime is never solved.
FILTHY ASSISTANT - Run over by bus. I know. I didn't believe it either.
FORENSIC GIRL - Cardiac arrest brought about by years of ephedra abuse.
GHOLA - Horrible accident during sword swallowing performance.
HABEEB THOMAS - Skin cancer.
HADLEY TOBEDONE - Have you ever seen the movie "Seven?" You know the "gluttony" guy. Hadley goes out like that. But he isn't forced.
HIDDEN101 - Cirrhosis.
ICARUS 1987 - Pisses off one too many inbred rednecks.
iddqd - Dies of old age many years from now. Lonely, cold and alone after never having made his peace with the female species.
JAY-PEG - Decides that his life is going well enough that he can stop taking his medication. During plane flight to Ubercon Vegas, begins acting suspiciously and then informs stewardess that he has a bomb. Plane lands safely but as U.S. Air Marshals attempt to detain him he runs and is shot to death.
LISA - Suicide.
LOJOPE - Raped to death. Dies happy.
LOKI - Mauled to death by bear in Yellowstone National Park.
LOREN1 - Runs out of kibble and is killed and eaten by own eyebrows.
JMG114 - Fades into obscurity, never to be heard from again. Rumors abound that he simply wanders the Earth, much like Cain from Kung-Fu.
KRISTEN - I_H_A_K_F.
MANIC MOTHER - Cardiac arrest brought about by overdose of methamphetamine.
METHOD - Killed trying to suppress rebellion after 50% of Ubersite.com signs Declaration of Alterpendence and his own alters demand freedom and self-government.
MICHAEL JACKSON - Sent to prison for sucking at music. Raped to death. Dies happy.
MICKGINNY - Oxycontin overdose.
MISS FLIBBLE - Dies from complications during delivery of unholy spawn.
MISTRESS FIST - Syphilis.
MY NAME IS TIM - Acute alcohol poisoning.
NITTY - Catches shank to the kidney after being locked up for 4th DUI.
ORGASMATRON - Pneumonia, with pressure on the brain and a fatty liver given as contributing factors. Last words are "39 years and this is all I've done."
PENTAMETER - Some men just can't stop loving.
POKEY PECKER - Suicide. But who could blame him?
PROFESSIONAL_PEON - Rabies complicated by scabies.
PROFESSOR FUCKFACE - Stalked to death by Eric D. Rice.
RAD1101 - Taken hostage during prison riot. Doesn't make it.
RAZOR - Killed in fatal car accident test driving prototype "sense of self satisfaction" engine with Ed Begley Jr.
SASSMASTER - Goes out like Marvin Gaye.
SCOTT PETERSON - Electric chair.
SHANDYTHEDOG - Colo-rectal cancer.
SHLONGY - Prostate cancer.
SHITFUCK - "Accidental" overdose.
SIDEBURNS - AIDS.
SPHAGNUM - Raped to death. Dies happy.
SPOONER - See Tom.
STABKILL - Accidentally shot 327 times when F.B.I., N.S.A., and A.T.F. agents raid his heavily fortified Montana compound.
TEEPHPHAH - Chokes on own vomit.
THE TASTE OF MONKEYS - Cancer.
THORPE - Infected hangnail leads to gangrene of the anus.
TIGERLILLY - Allergic reaction to toxic combination of silicone, botox and collagen.
TOM - Commits suicide after realization hits that his life peaked at 16.
WAZZA - When pedophiles are caught, they are sent to jail, where the general population does not like them very much.
WHAT THE HELL - Fatty liver.
WHATAEFAG - Impacted bowel. Possibly gerbil related.
WILDCAT - Asthma attack.
WILLIAMSON - Killed during the uprising of the proletariat.
WILL ZONE - Tragically and accidentally overdoses on 33rd birthday - Leaves note explicitly stating he was in no way attempting to emulate Belushi or Farley. Everyone knows this to be a lie.
W_T_A_Y_A_S_T_R_M (NATH) - Complications stemming from carpal tunnel syndrome arising from trying to type in that stupid fucking name of his.
XCUSES - In unheralded scientific breakthrough, proves to the world that it is possible to die from boredom. Or at least from being boring.
ZAKALWE - Autoerotic asphyxiation accident.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I know I'm going to lose,
And gambling's for fools,
but that's the way I like it baby
I don't want to live forever.
User Reviews
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-05-05 02:39:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shweet. I'll never die.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:56:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:36:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-01-12 23:32:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
poor Habeeb...too much fusion
____________________________________________________________________
I just noticed that somebody got the joke there. Thanks
=-=-=-=-==---==--==-=--=-=
I thought it was pretty obvious.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:36:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-01-12 23:32:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
poor Habeeb...too much fusion
____________________________________________________________________
I just noticed that somebody got the joke there. Thanks.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-01-17 14:57:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Douche
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-01-16 06:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHA
I particularly like Caul's, Lojope's and Electros.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2006-01-16 05:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what? My life truly did peak at 16.
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2006-01-16 04:52:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
guess i'll live forever
damn
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-01-16 04:38:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Man I'm glad I'm not going to die. Or make a list. Ever.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-01-15 02:50:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was goddamn hilarious.
It also stings that so many people who haven't been around as long as I have got mentions. Le sigh.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-01-15 02:36:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-01-13 11:14:41 (#)
Ranking: 1
I hope it's soon.
***
ha, ha...you too?
we need to have a contest to see who can tell the best Bible Story about their medical grief.
Golib mir! i could top any 'Jew in Florida retirement/assisted living home i'm always in pain
you don't know the half of it' story
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-01-15 02:20:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck...
killed by my fundamentalist father?
the nail on the head...
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-01-15 02:09:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damn, you're observant
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-01-14 06:03:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bollocks
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-14 00:17:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I TOLD you I was fucking psychic. WHY didn't you believe me?
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-01-13 19:47:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PROFESSIONAL_PEON - Rabies complicated by scabies.
----------------
OMFG!! YOU ARE PSYCHIC.
I find my death funny as we are still waiting to see if the cat that attacked mine in November had in fact transmitted Rabies to him.
Weird.
I would be worried, but I'm safe cause I already did the death thing. :-P
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-01-13 14:37:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2006-01-13 14:23:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What Herp said.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2006-01-13 14:14:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess I live...
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-01-13 14:03:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WHERE THE FUCK AM I, YOU FREAK?
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-01-13 13:53:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My Uzi weighs a ton
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-01-13 11:14:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I hope it's soon.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-13 10:45:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ELECTRO - Drowns trying to smell the pretty flowers on bottom of bathtub.
jhahahah
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-01-13 10:31:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Caulaincout's and Lojope's made me piss.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-01-13 09:42:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-01-13 08:39:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
I MADE AN INTERNET POPULARITY LIST, WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I. Am. Somebody.
I didn't
i am nobody.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2006-01-13 09:03:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MICHAEL JACKSON - Sent to prison for sucking at music. Raped to death. Dies happy.
----------
Listen, he may be a shitty alter, but back during the day, that nigger put out some good music.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-01-13 08:39:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I MADE AN INTERNET POPULARITY LIST, WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I. Am. Somebody.
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2006-01-13 02:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-01-13 00:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew those little bastards were out to get me.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-01-13 00:18:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"RAZOR - Killed in fatal car accident test driving prototype "sense of self satisfaction" engine with Ed Begley Jr."
HAHAHAHAHA
i tried with the oc's...it didnt work.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-01-12 23:32:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
poor Habeeb...too much fusion
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2006-01-12 20:33:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Scott, Get out of there!"
"Scott, No! Scott!"...
"He'll Die!"...
"It's too late Jim, He's already Dead!"
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-01-12 20:11:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AVERAGE_DAN - Rogaine addiction rages out of control. Looses job and apartment and is eventually shot to death by police in a botched attempt to rob liquor store.
---------------------------------------------
Auto+2average_dan
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-12 18:42:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got a chuckle.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-01-12 18:33:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Insane died? ah that sucks.
We've got so many spare tards we don't really need as well.
Is it harsh to wish death on someone you met on the internet? oh well.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-01-12 18:28:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-01-12 18:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew a heavy smoker once, he finally decided to 'cut back' when he began to cough up black sticky....stuff.
Couple of weeks later he was killed by a bus, frikin walking cliche.
Well not really walking, but you get my point
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-01-12 18:14:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My mum shared a flat with lemmy before they were famous and lent him 10 pounds he never paid back. She should sue him for like a billion.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-01-12 17:57:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(from Razor)
ELECTRO: Sleeping with the fishies... but whom killed him, and why?
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-01-12 16:57:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I might die but I doubt anyone would notice so I suppose it doesn't count. I already know how I'm going to die though. I'll end up dying from appendicitis, meningitis, or necrotizing fasciitis because those are the three things I'm the most paranoid about getting and I've thought I've had them over 100 times each. Yeah, I'm a hypochondriac.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-01-12 16:45:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, yes it does. I'm in welding classes this semester. It's a good thing to know. Thanks!
I've already survived getting my hair caught in a power drill...
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-01-12 16:44:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
how the fuck do i go out?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-12 16:44:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-12 16:04:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
elton john>>>>?????
---
Correctamundo.
Well played, Lei lani lei.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-12 16:38:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-01-12 16:03:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm...i wonder.
-----------------------------------------------
wonder, wonder, wonder who?
Who wrote the book of looooooooove?
Lady Plural - Your future is fuzzy, but I sense that you need to stay clear of anything with a sticker reading "Caution - Child's hair may become entangled in moving parts."
Does it mean anything to you when I say, "industrial lathe?" If so, watch yourself.
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2006-01-12 16:38:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-01-12 16:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*ahem*
There was even a TMI about me, so you have no excuse. Come on, tell me how I'm going to die. Or I'll die of curiosity and your predictions will be all fucked up.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-01-12 16:24:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FORENSIC GIRL - Cardiac arrest brought about by years of ephedra abuse.
Hahahaha
Could be could be.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-12 16:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
elton john>>>>?????
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-01-12 16:04:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-01-12 15:12:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
"sigh, another list I didn't make."
-Crystal something or other.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:23:43 (#)
Ranking: 1
Another Uber-list I didn't make. *sigh*
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-01-12 16:03:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm...i wonder.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-12 15:42:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
noted.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-12 15:25:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hooray for heated.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-12 15:20:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Onions - I have no idea what where why or how the guy died. Everyone who did know that info was kind of hush-hush.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-01-12 15:12:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"sigh, another list I didn't make."
-Crystal something or other.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ok what did he die of? cancer, drunk driver? was it long term off in the distance coming closer with every second or was it out of the blue accidental tragedy.
i should feel bad that i'm curious about these things.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:48:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i love a post that includes everybody and i still don't make it.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:37:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ZAKALWE - Autoerotic asphyxiation accident.
----------
Fucking Jesus. I thought lojope's was funny until I read this one...
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOJOPE - Raped to death. Dies happy.
====================
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Deep breath
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I'm gonna kill myself
Cause a little suicide
Stick around for a couple'a days
What a scandal if I died
Name that artist, neeyas!
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Finally a list I've made.
Locked up? I always beat the system, son. http://www.ubersite.com/m/73202
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:07:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to kill myself tonight, but now I'm not just to spite you and your theory.
Although, I may not have to because I'm going to East St. Louis tonight where I will be accosted and potentially stabbed to deat by crack head black people.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:05:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:02:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
but who died?? even someone who's been here longer than me is wondering.
------------------
InsaneTheMind
corn-nugget did a post about it and caught a fuck load of heat for it. He hadn't been around much lately, before I started posting he had stopped.
Cadrach- Am I to assume that I'm going to live?
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:05:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well, when all you fuckers come back to haunt this place don't be surprised if it's called lëilanisite. cause i'm not dying, bitches!
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i shall live forever!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:03:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't appreciate this enough.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-12 14:01:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
having just noticed the lupus thing on captain thorn's.... my mom has that.
Submitted by the_cole_guy (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:58:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
CADRACH - Crushed and critically injured by -2nami then ironically run over by wah-mbulance
__________________________________
HAHA
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:55:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
CAPTAIN THORNS - Lupus. What? There is no way to tie musical ability to bizarre cause of death. Could go the Spinal Tap route but spontaneous combustion doesn't work here.
---------------------
BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...ha...ehhhh....
Technically, I had cancer when I was a wee lad, so I'm sure I'll probably get it again once I'm old and decrepit and can no longer sing.
Or maybe I'll just be raped by Britney Banks and die happy.
Gosh, I've been making a lot of lists lately.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:50:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The horrible irony to this post is that I did in fact get run over by a bus and die today.
Thank god for defibrillators, eh?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:49:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Really? Does that move Shlongy up at all on your "fuck buddy" list?
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:47:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
For once the old dirty bastard is right.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:40:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lisa's pissed because she REALLY wanted "Mass Murder- THEN suicide" for her death prediction.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:37:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
JMG114 - Fades into obscurity, never to be heard from again. Rumors abound that he simply wanders the Earth, much like Cain from Kung-Fu
_____________
"they have names for people like that.
their called 'BUMS'."
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:34:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks a lot, jackass.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:31:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm starting to really enjoy shitfuck's work around here.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:30:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and how'd they die? dammit stop makin fun of my name...
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:29:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm aliiiiiiiiveeeeeeeeee!!!
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:26:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck man ! ha ha ha ha ha
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:26:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously, who fucking died?
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:22:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Missy fist - I thought Shlongy having difficulty urinating due to enlargement of the prostate was funnier than him having blood in his stool. But that I type the phrase "blood in his stool" I think you might be right.
Onion_de_trios - an old poster named Insane.
Pentameter - Bond, James Bond. Actually I am no one special, just someone who has been lurking since way back when Hidden, IHAKF, Hadoken and people like that were around.
Shitfuck - I could never take that away from Pops. He loves it too much.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:15:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahhahahhahaha.
Now link my 'I Hope You All Die' post and maybe I'll put off fingerfucking your dad.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:12:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How is this not higher rated? Funny shiite muslim.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:12:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I will be struck by lightning in 19 days.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:07:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"ass cancer"....buahauahauahauahauahaha etc.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:02:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
but who died?? even someone who's been here longer than me is wondering.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:02:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Woo Motörhead, but why was I not included?
Oh...wait...because I already know how I'll die:
I'll steal an expensive car, filled to the brim with fireworks. Then, I'll Start a police chase that involves at least twenty cop cars, and then, when they're just about to catch me, I'll stop really suddenly, have them all crash into me, thus setting off the fireworks.
I'll go out with a bang.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:02:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is pretty fucking funny.
By the way, who the hell are you...really?
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:58:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And speaking of uber-related deaths in real life...I'm wondering when the uber-related lawsuits are going to happen. Don't believe it can?
http://www.courttv.com/news/2006/0112/chatroom_suit_ctv.html
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:53:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you rock.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:53:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:49:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought this was a fun idea.
unfortunately you got orgasmo's death prediction wrong.
He will crumble at the hands of my ninja-ing.
==========
I got such a great visual from this.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought this was a fun idea.
unfortunately you got orgasmo's death prediction wrong.
He will crumble at the hands of my ninja-ing.
Otherwise it was all fairly amusing.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:47:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:18:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW...this was fnnier than shit. Nice job...there are some classic deaths to look forward to on Uber===============
I think it would have been funnier if you put "ass cancer" for The Shlong Man instead of Prostate.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:44:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny! And I made a list! w00t! Off to watch Jerry Springer....err, umm I mean CSPAN!
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:43:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I told you people I was psychic. But then I predicted that this post would go over like a lead zepplin, much like my pitiful few others. Win some lose some I guess.
Thanks for the nice ratings though.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:40:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
wait, who died?
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:36:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A vast majority of these are actually accurate to fit those people...very well done.
I've talked about a my own "compound" before, as I will surely have one in the future. But I'm thinking South Dakota, Wyoming, or Nevada.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cheers for your kind words.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:28:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm going to die from paint thinner poisoning.
...
BUT IT SMELLS SO GOOD.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:25:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:14:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is why I don't post more often. I have no idea where that giant white space in the middle of the post came from. I am also really bad at it.
---------------------------
Format your post in word first and make it thinner.
Or just other people have their browser window wide.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:23:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2006-01-12 07:12:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Another Uber-list I didn't make. *sigh*
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:22:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:19:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That'd be Dylan Thomas.
Thanks for that.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and this post may be responsible for my SPT offering tody, finally pushing me over the edge to do something that has been suggested as of late.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:18:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW...this was fnnier than shit. Nice job...there are some classic deaths to look forward to on Uber.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:18:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm apparently not going to die. damn.
and at the risk of sounding like a completely cold hearted cunt unaware of her surroundings...
who died?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:16:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oops...hit the wrong button.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:16:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That's great!
I actually experienced death just last Sunday...my father-in-law passed.
Death is just the next step , kids...I cannot WAIT to be reincarnated...again.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:16:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha, I was wondering what those weeping sores were.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:14:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, you must have been lurking for a while, or using another user ID, because there are a lot of right-ons in here.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is why I don't post more often. I have no idea where that giant white space in the middle of the post came from. I am also really bad at it.
O-Tron - that was supposed to be some sort of compliment. The last words were some from some famous poet I had to read about in school. Don't remember who.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:12:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And how can I not +2 something with a Motorhead reference?
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of these were actually pretty funny.
And lucky you didn't include me in this, I'd have unleashed a torrent of abuse, kitten rapings and seal clubbings.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And don't forget the joker.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:10:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'A' for effort.
Plus, I got last words.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:10:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The "Law of threes"?
How about the "Law of you are an idiot"?
Or at least the "Law of I am not on the list auto -2".
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:09:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i'd be psyched if i died from acute alcohol poisioning...i don't think it's gonna be that way however.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2006-01-12 12:09:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
who are you?