A little about me - Plus Photoshop Contest! (slightly NSFW) (2647 hits)
Category: GraphicsLabels: Uber-related/Bandwagon
Rating: 1.44 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl (View user info) at 2006-01-12 19:31:27 EST
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There are two roads I could take here.
I could go the path of D-Prime, proclaiming that he is a 15-year-old "genius," and bring on the derision and hatred of Uber, -2ing him for his arrogance and pride.
Or I could just go my own way.
I'm fifteen years old, almost sixteen, sophomore year in a private Manhattan-area Catholic high school with a high reputation. Most of you, Uber, are in your 20s, 30s, or in the case of Shlongy, old. This is mainly to clarify my photoshop contest, and to prevent getting "What? You're still in high school?" from reviewers.
I was wondering if I was the youngest standard poster on Uber. There has to be a bunch of under-15 alters/noobs, but really, most of you are far older than me. I'd rather not think this as a detriment, but just something that might remove me from the vast majority of you.
Here are some of my best posts (mostly stories that never got that many reviews) for my 84th Post Extravaganza.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68171 - The Kicker, my first story on Uber
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69343 - The Exodus Chronicles, my longest, most dense story
http://www.ubersite.com/m/75578 - Strangers in the Room, one of my best, in my own opinion.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/76524 - Michael Higgins, a WWI story based on true events
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78159 - Moments from the Revolution, my War of Independence story
http://www.ubersite.com/m/79933 - My own take on After the Pandemic
Anyway, onto the photoshop.
My Chemistry teacher, Dr. Esker, has the reputation for having the most difficult class in my entire school. Students who had As or A+s the previous year can be dragged down to Ds and Fs, and only through an insane amount of work can you pray to pass the class. It does, however, prepare you for hard work and studying, as well as SATs.
Recently, as an extra-credit opportunity, Dr. Esker gave us all a picture of himself, which he instructed us to photoshop in the most creative manner. Some people have gotten started already, inserting his face onto nude women, or Bush or something or other.
We present our best photoshops for extra credit on the 24th of January. I ask you, Uber, for ideas and your contributions. This extra-credit means a lot to me as well - his class is slaughtering my GPA.
Most of you are in your 20s, long beyond high school, but for the love of god, help a lost young soul out, can you?
Here is the original picture to be photoshopped, and my pathetic previous attempts.
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(RE the nsfw, there's a picture of the effects of elephantiasis that I used in another one of my posts...)
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User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-20 18:46:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
humorous
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-01-16 06:00:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The last picture was the best.
Submitted by Trevor1st93 (user info) at 2006-01-14 21:27:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82371
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-14 13:42:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2006-01-14 10:07:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
I call shenanigans. Sorry pal, I do not believe that you have this extra credit assignment but made up the story so you can get uber photoshoppers to create some awesome pics. Then you will most likely hang them around the school because you probably dislike this teacher.Then you will take credit for the awesome photoshop work some will create and people will think you are really cool. I bet your crossing your fingers Loren sees this.
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Sorry, no shenanigans. This was an assignment he gave us, that a bunch of us were planning to do. And I was not planning to take credit for the Uber ones, I was going to make my own, and then a seperate "people from outside (name of school)" section. I like Dr. Esker, and if I hung these anywhere except his class, I would be kicked out in a heartbeat.
And I dont' know Loren.
You missed the mark majorly, Chicagogirl.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-14 13:41:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82336
next one
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2006-01-14 10:07:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I call shenanigans. Sorry pal, I do not believe that you have this extra credit assignment but made up the story so you can get uber photoshoppers to create some awesome pics. Then you will most likely hang them around the school because you probably dislike this teacher.Then you will take credit for the awesome photoshop work some will create and people will think you are really cool. I bet your crossing your fingers Loren sees this.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-13 17:51:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This contest will end Sunday night. I'll decide the best one, and give +2s to the winner's 5 lowest rated posts.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-13 17:46:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-01-13 16:57:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-12 22:56:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
I think Goatse might be pushing it a little...he didn't mind when the guy sitting next to me photoshopped his head on a topless model, but the Unholy Trinity is right out.
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Pussy, you said the more offensive the better right? I'm pretty sure he'd be offended by Goatse...
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Somehow I don't see Goatse going over well.
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2006-01-13 17:24:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BAM!--http://www.ubersite.com/m/82329
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-01-13 16:57:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-12 22:56:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
I think Goatse might be pushing it a little...he didn't mind when the guy sitting next to me photoshopped his head on a topless model, but the Unholy Trinity is right out.
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Pussy, you said the more offensive the better right? I'm pretty sure he'd be offended by Goatse...
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-13 16:50:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So far:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82327
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82321
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82319
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82319
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82314
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-13 16:48:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-01-13 14:18:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Recently, as an extra-credit opportunity, Dr. Esker gave us all a picture of himself, which he instructed us to photoshop in the most creative manner....We present our best photoshops for extra credit on the 24th of January."
What the sweet fuck?? Am I reading this right - you get extra points in Chemistry for photoshopping a picture of your teacher's face??
Jesus christ. Remind me to take anything anyone from across the pond ever says about "oohhh, I did really well in school" with a gallon of salt. That's not an education system - that's a fucking clown show.
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Let's not talk about "across the pond"
...From what I understand from Method, you're Electrictoothsyndrome
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-01-13 15:40:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was 15 or 16 when I first came to Uber.
Does that count?
And Im on Long Island man.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-13 15:27:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Put this in your pipe and smoke it.
Or not.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82321
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-01-13 15:09:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Awesome.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-01-13 14:18:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Recently, as an extra-credit opportunity, Dr. Esker gave us all a picture of himself, which he instructed us to photoshop in the most creative manner....We present our best photoshops for extra credit on the 24th of January."
What the sweet fuck?? Am I reading this right - you get extra points in Chemistry for photoshopping a picture of your teacher's face??
Jesus christ. Remind me to take anything anyone from across the pond ever says about "oohhh, I did really well in school" with a gallon of salt. That's not an education system - that's a fucking clown show.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-13 14:06:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82314
Entry 1 - Herpes
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-13 12:35:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not again, agh...
Make that 5 +2s on your 5 lowest rated posts.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-13 12:34:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The prize is 5 +2s on your lowest rated posts.
Sorry, I didn't put that in the post, but in one of the reviews down there...but yeah, that's it.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2006-01-13 12:14:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So is there a prize or anything...?
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-01-13 12:11:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
you did mine....freak!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-13 11:06:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He looks like Hans from Die Hard.
Don't feel bad. I had a nun teach me 10th and 11th grade chemistry. She was pretty much clueless with the chemistry, but never neglected to spend the first 5-10 minutes of the class praying.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-01-13 11:03:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't know if you're the youngest poster, but your writing is consistently excellent for someone far exceeding your age.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-13 10:57:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-13 10:47:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 for "old".
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I was hoping you'd catch that.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-13 10:47:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. They're all cool man, and funny as hell. That prof sounds pretty cool to let you guys do that.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-13 10:47:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 for "old".
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-13 10:33:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*weeps*
not cheating, I just need ideas for inspiration.
But it is a contest. +2s to best one?
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-01-13 08:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked the last one and the BartBart one, but I'm thinking you need to do your own work for your extra credit project.
Cheater.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-13 07:03:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm awake...
...and headed to my first midterm. See ya, and thanks for the help.
Submitted by weasul (user info) at 2006-01-13 06:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Dresker is a cool name.
Chemistry is simple, but teachers can be dicks.
Cheating is always the way to go.
Here's my lame attempt at photoshops of this picture.
For some odd reason "Tatu" just jumped out at me. I meant to photoshop his face onto the dude in the middle of them, but I started with one of the chicks and kept it going.
http://s87276716.onlinehome.us/dreskerposefan.jpg
And I know it isn't his entire face (just his eyes, nose, and part of his mustache), but it still works. This one requires a lot of work, but if you play with some colors you can make it happen.
http://s87276716.onlinehome.us/hitler2.jpg
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-01-13 04:54:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha, yeah you pretty much suck at Photoshop but then, so do I.
One has to question the merits of using Photoshop to gain extra credit in a Chemistry class. I say get out there and discover a new element.
Or study harder.
PS - I cannot recommend Chemistry at Masters level.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2006-01-13 04:32:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THat guy looks like he raped the babysitter and made his wife cry.
For the more pale-skinned ones (like CabaretThing), you should try to change the skin-tone on his face to match the bodies.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/81903
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-01-13 00:45:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You wanna put him in a picture with an emu? I'm your man...
Now where did I put that pesky copy of photoshop....
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-13 00:24:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HA HA ESKER
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-12 22:56:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think Goatse might be pushing it a little...he didn't mind when the guy sitting next to me photoshopped his head on a topless model, but the Unholy Trinity is right out.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-01-12 21:32:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So.....basically you're asking us to help you cheat?
Ehh, what do I care? I would totally put his face on the goatse picture somehow. Like flip his head upside down and put it between his legs like he's bent over looking at his penis or make him look like he's looking back or put his head in the center of his ass. Something like that.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-12 20:55:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-12 20:34:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckin 'a man.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-12 19:57:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You can thank Method for the last two pictures.
http://www.ubersite.com/u/cabaretgirl
First two posts.
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-01-12 19:56:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-12 19:39:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-01-12 19:37:44 (#)
Ranking: 1
Ok, your chemistry professor gives me the creeps for three reasons; he LOOKS like a sexual predator. He WANTS you to photoshop his head? For EXTRA CREDIT? WTF?????
And thirdly, he's a FUCKING CHEMISTRY TEACHER. Dude, I would run the fuck AWAY from that goon.
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Haha sexual predator? He's a nice guy, he has a kid at home...
hmm...it raises some questions though...
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-12 19:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
he's the kind of guy that seriously does not care. He's encouraged us to kill ourselves, called us shit-eaters, little fuckers, retards, and the like. He's such a good teacher and he's been there so long, the administration's cool with it. We dont' mind, we find it immensely entertaining.
"The more offensive the better" - his instructions.
Submitted by Azk (user info) at 2006-01-12 19:38:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Girls should wear corsets more often. Damn they make your bodies look hot.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-01-12 19:37:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ok, your chemistry professor gives me the creeps for three reasons; he LOOKS like a sexual predator. He WANTS you to photoshop his head? For EXTRA CREDIT? WTF?????
And thirdly, he's a FUCKING CHEMISTRY TEACHER. Dude, I would run the fuck AWAY from that goon.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-01-12 19:34:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahah
I do miss D Prime and his Pepsi.
Your teacher is encouraging you to photoshop him onto gay porn and naked women and stuff? I predict that he will shortly be involved in an "investigation"
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-12 19:32:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've gotten inspiration from other photoshop contests, like "The Boys."
I remember a MS Paint with Electro's head put on the guy from Platoon, and I thought of that.