I've been an uncle for seven years, and I just found out two weeks ago. (1219 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.73 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bluto (View user info) at 2006-01-12 20:43:15 EST
Well, I don't know if "uncle" is the proper term, as it's my stepbrother's daughter, but I'm far too lazy to find out.
Anyway, about 2 months ago, my stepbrother was subpoenaed and informed that one of his ex-girlfriends, whom he hadn't seen for about 7 years, had a child, and as the child has grown older, it began to look more like him than whom she originally thought the father was.
She had a DNA test done on the first believed father, and no match was found. That was 3 years ago. Now, she's finally gotten around to seeking out my stepbrother to have him tested.
Why, you ask? Isn't it obvious? The vapid cunt, who is now on welfare, wants her back child support. Well, after he was called to court and informed of the situation, he was given another court date, at which time the results would be analyzed. That was two weeks ago. Results: 99.9% chance that he is the father.
Damn.
I've been an "uncle" since I was eleven years old, and I had no idea.
That doesn't bother me much, what bothers me is thinking about what it must be like to be my stepbrother. Seven years. Seven fucking years! All the interesting stuff about being a father missed because the mother's an adulterous harlot who couldn't afford an abortion. Fuck that. Not only did he get to miss out on all of that, but now he's got a seven year old daughter whom he has never met. That's a wonderful way to start out a relationship.
"Hi, we've never met. I'm your father"
Ugh!
Now, my stepbrother certainly isn't a responsible adult. In fact, he's a lazy fucktard slob. He's a twenty-eight year old delivery guy, and lives in an apartment with his cousin and their respective girlfriends. He just wants to have fun. He isn't around to change the world for the better. He was content with that lifestyle, and he certainly seemed to be having fun. Now he finds out he's got a kid.
Damn.
Of course, because he "disappeared" in the court's eyes, he now has to pay back child support from the last 7 years. Disappeared. Shit, he walked in on her fucking his roommate and ditched the bitch. He didn't go into hiding. He didn't even leave the fucking state. In fact, if she were to check the phone book, the only entry under his last name was his father. Perhaps he could have pointed the dumb cooze in the right direction?
He was always being told to be careful of his lifestyle. "It may come back to bite you."
Of course, they were talking about his habits. They didn't want to see him lying on the ground, having drowned in his vomit after an excessive coke binge. Who'd have imagined that it would be the potent sperm that got him first?
Maybe having a child will give him some maturity. Maybe it won't. All I know is that he's a much more accepting person than I am. They'd have to hold me back if some whore tried to pull that shit with me. He, on the other hand, has started talking to the mother again, in hopes that the two of them can patch their relationship, for the child's sake. He's even going to pay the child support.
Damn.
User Reviews
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-07-03 05:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait... She told another guy HE was the father, and he believed her, and she waited 3 years AFTER they knew he wasn't to check your stepbrother?
Fuck that, no back child support. No fucking way.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-03 04:57:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So how's it all worked out 6 months down the line?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-03 04:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Update your damn fantasy team
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-02-28 23:52:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
On a side note, the "previous" "father" should have saved the diaper receipts. Dude should get a refund, with interest.
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-02-28 23:50:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Change the laws. The man's back-payments should be optional. They say you form most of your personality or something by age 7. I bet the kid's going to be a gem. I weep for the future.
p.s. Spoil the kid.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-02-28 23:23:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
don't trip while you're backing up
chronologically elitist asshole
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Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-27 18:15:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84167#1859018
Either you can't understand the concept of being facetious, or you're still too new around here.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2006-02-03 00:47:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YEP. some of the tards are born to suck you off and rip ya off,gotta watch your back at all times.In the meen time just keep fucking.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-13 15:45:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nothing wrong with being a whore as long as you're responsible.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-01-13 15:34:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ALL WOMEN ARE WHORES!
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-01-13 15:08:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He better get a good lawyer or he wont have a dime left to his name.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-13 13:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
he needs to get a good lawyer right about now. dumb cunts shouldn't use kids to make other people pay for their stupidity and sluttery.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-01-13 13:22:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What a bitch.
Women like that shouldn't be allowed to be mothers.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-01-13 13:07:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lawyer
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-13 12:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-13 11:02:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
That sucks. This is why I believe in forced sterilization in some cases. She fits the bill.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-13 11:02:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That sucks. This is why I believe in forced sterilization in some cases. She fits the bill.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-13 10:03:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's why every HighVoltage pussy-cum shot comes complete with a punch in the uterus.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-13 09:57:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
eeee
He has a couple options. The one I'd go for is that he should sue her for custody and then sell the child on the blackmarket. Healthy white children fetch quite the handsome reward from those seeking to possess "helpers."
Sorry for your stepbrother, that's not a good situation for him or the kid.
Orgasmatron- post rules 2 and 3, I don't want to make any mistakes.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-01-13 08:44:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He should have pulled out and painted her face.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-13 08:37:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Young people sure are dumbfucks these days...that's all I have to say.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2006-01-13 07:48:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn.
Good for him, trying to make the best you possibly can out of a SHITTY situation. Christ. Unbelievable.
The second she says he can't see his fucking kid if and when he wants to, haul her ass to court. My roommate has a cunt of an ex-wife who demands money for EVERYTHING, despite the fact that he's always paid child support and insurance, and STILL won't let him see the kid.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-01-13 04:48:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-01-12 21:44:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sympathy +2. Sorry she's a whore.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-01-13 01:56:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
im a toolbag.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-13 00:31:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The first rule of life - "Bag it before you tag it" - was broken.
Now, the fourth rule of life - "Before you slit her whorish neck, make sure that the dropcloth's set" - must be followed to the letter.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-01-12 21:44:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sympathy +2. Sorry she's a whore.
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-01-12 20:57:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Liked the post.
Sucks for him.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-12 20:53:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
damns.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-12 20:45:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yay for breeding