Settling (856 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.77 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rawrg (View user info) at 2006-01-12 20:51:18 EST
Hi there, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm a burnt out remnant of a human being, the result of a culture devoid of honor and oblivious to the concept of reciprocity. I know when I'm making the wrong choice, but acknowledging that choice requires reflection and problem solving skills, however discovering who I am is not worth simplifying who I am and already knowing.
(He's so confident.)
I see things as they appear on the outside and venture little outside of my sphere of interests which include the acquisition of material goods touted by subcultures to be of great value, the pursuit of cheap thrills and the ever ongoing search for shortcuts to a niche in life where no one will ever bother me.
(He's easygoing and he's so involved.)
I am constantly finding a new potential focal interest in my life that would no doubt lead to financial success and lifelong happiness, except that I am, in all actuality, completely unknowledgeable of that which I am speaking of and further, were I knowledgeable, I lack the tenacity to surpass much more than looking it up on the internet. Still, I'll tell everyone that if I get hooked up, which is practically guaranteed, I'm on the verge of greatness. Still, it will fall through time after time, but you don't know me that well, now do you?
(He's on the verge of greatness)
Me and my friends are completely lacking in originality and are crippled by the social norm that apathy is a sign of strength and level headedness, while passion is a weakness embraced by homosexuals, women and various other categories of people we have no sense of compassion on a human level with. When you are with us, we will intoxicate ourselves to relieve us from our boredom and disappointment with ourselves and then we'll ask you to get naked, or tell us accounts of who and where you've had sex.
(He runs with a cool group of people.)
This one time, we went out and vandalized someone's car and destroyed it completely. Another time, we got really drunk and while we were driving, we got pulled over by the police, so my buddy gets out, flips him the bird and passes out right there. The same guy refused to testify against me in court, even though I was guilty.
(Only good people could have such close and trustworthy friends.)
Speaking of a court of law, did I mention that a court found me sterile? I know most girls want me to wear a condom, but I refuse to because they break on me. It must be because I stretch them out too much, you know what I mean? One girl filed a paternity suit against me, but my friend's a doctor and he testified that I'm sterile. I have the paperwork around somewhere, but I might not be able to find it. It was a while ago.
(Oh my God, he's hung and we don't have to use condoms.)
So anyways, it's getting kind of late and I'm tired of talking. Since I don't care about anything concerning you besides what you look like naked and the look on your face when I shove my dick in your mouth right before I cum, I'll just get down to the point of being obnoxiously forward and unrelenting until I get my way.
(He wants me, I'm so lucky!)
Don't worry baby, this isn't a one night stand. I'll be there for you for a long time, I mean, do you really think I only want to fuck you once? I'll call you in a few days, until then, I'll keep you in suspense.
(Oh please, call me back. If you do, that means you really do care. I need someone to care about me. I have no identity because I wasn't ever told to be independent... I was told to stand in line, wait for others and be part of the team. All my friends are so happy because of their boyfriends, and I haven't been without a man in so long. If I'm alone, it means no one wants me, I NEED SOMEONE TO WANT ME, ANYONE, PLEASE!
I'm supposed to get married soon, you're my last hope.
...
Please don't break my heart.)
I've forgotten what happiness is, you'll just have to do.
(I've forgotten what happiness is, you'll just have to do.)
User Reviews
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-13 14:11:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
now that reminds me of almost everyone i went to school with and what they became after. i need to move again.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-13 14:10:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a-fuckin-men.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-01-13 13:59:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-01-13 13:14:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2006-01-13 06:43:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
dark
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-13 10:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent. Completely different than the usual and I like that.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2006-01-13 10:11:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-01-13 09:12:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
This post made me miss your presence here even more than I did while you were gone.
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<3
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-13 09:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bang, bang, shoot, shoot.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-01-13 09:12:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post made me miss your presence here even more than I did while you were gone.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-01-13 08:23:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn. That was pretty damned good, mang. Way to go.
Submitted by zerosx (user info) at 2006-01-13 07:43:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dogs and Bollocks spring to mind.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-01-13 07:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-01-13 07:07:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tres impressive.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2006-01-13 06:43:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dark
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-01-13 04:45:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't get why this got so much love
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2006-01-13 01:55:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You the man.
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2006-01-13 01:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-13 00:37:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done, you.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-12 23:06:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking ace man.
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2006-01-12 22:44:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really great. I want to make love to you...
You're a chick, right?
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-01-12 22:33:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who put that message on the uber board? Anyone know? It's quite an honour as this is the first time I've been up there, but I have no idea what "attack of the show" is.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-12 22:21:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right on the money. Can I hire you to prescreen all my future acquaintances? I tend to give the benefit of the doubt too often.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-01-12 21:51:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-01-12 21:01:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was the best fucking thing I've read in a while, and I don't have ANY idea why. Just really good.
_____________
I would agree to this if I hadn't just read ghola's post. But damn, this was pretty brilliant as well. 2 posts in a row. I'm afraid to click on anything else now...
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-01-12 21:43:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck people? Is Uber just slow today?
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-01-12 21:06:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Accurate.
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-01-12 21:01:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was the best fucking thing I've read in a while, and I don't have ANY idea why. Just really good.