Welcome To White Trash World. Please Enjoy Your Stay. (1362 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalLabels: Good
Rating: 1.7 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by That Is My Stapler (View user info) at 2006-01-15 19:05:50 EST
My mother once said to me, "You're just white trash, aren't you?" Because I'm divorced. And because I used to drink a lot.
I suppose I am. I have a degree from a good university, but still. I have 2 tattoos. I was a military hound. I was involved in a war.
"I was young! I needed the money!"
If you get right down to it, we're all white trash, in one way or another. How many of us are actually really "classy" people?
I was bored yesterday and asked a friend if she had any books I could take home and read. She gave me a copy of "My Life," by Bill Clinton.
Now, I liked Bill Clinton. When he was President, it seemed like a good time in the world. I was doing well financially. There were no major wars we were involved in. Business was good, and America was definitly doing OK. If his wife Hillary runs for Prez, I'm going to vote for her, because that will bring back Billy, and we need Billy these days.
Granted, I'm only on page 30 of the book. He's describing his boyhood in Arkansas. And it's a very, VERY typical southern American rural childhood. I grew up in rural Texas, and I swear to God, you could have plopped me in Arkansas in Bill's shoes, and I'd have never noticed the difference, complete with the racism, the alocholic step-parents, the poverty, the peers...it's all the same down there.
For fuck's sake, my own step-mother was a high-school drop-out, "beautician" who could remove her front teeth.
White Trash.
Somehow, Bill finagled his way into the White House. And I, personally, think he did a great job while there. I couldn't give a damn about his dick sucking/cigar/intern episode, or the other lies he told. His lies were NOTHING compared to the shit force fed down our throats today.
Besides, if somebody with that much pressure and responsibility needs a fucking blow job, I say tell Hillary he's going to a summit in Switzerland, and we secretly whisk him off to the Playboy Mansion for a two-week vacation, no questions asked.
But it doesn't change the fact that Bill Clinton is and was white trash. He may have all his teeth. He may have been a Rhodes Scholar. He may have helmed the most peaceful and prosperous decade in American History. But he still, no matter what you say, was a McDonald's Gobbling skirt-chaser. He even admits, in his book, that he had to give up helping his daughter Chelsea with her homework when she reached 9th grade.
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES COULDN'T DO HIS DAUGHTERS 9th GRADE FUCKING HOMEWORK. How scary is that?
Don't even get me started on the Redneck that's in office now. Oh, DEAR GOD, don't get me started on Bush. I am ashamed to be associated with this monster by virtue of being from Texas (for the record, I live up north now, in a blue state, so blow me). But if this man had been born in my place, and most likely, yours...i.e., NOT wealthy, NOT sheltered, NOT provided for) he'd have died from exposure 50 years ago because he's to fucking stooopid to come in out of the rain.
Really. Explain to me how starting a war is NOT white-trash? I mean what the fuck? Is it the McCoy's vs. the McGee's in the White House? Bush has a DUI. Little did I know, but SO DOES FUCKING DICK CHENEY. So we've got two redneck, war-mongering "leaders" in the white house, both of them, in all likelihood, alcoholics. Niiiiiice.
Where do we dig these people up? How can such boobs become so powerful? It's a mystery. At least, in the early Roman empire, the lawmakers were, more or less, the most intelligent, most educated, most qualifed people for the job.
Anyway, it doesn't stop with powerful Americans. Osama Bin Laden is white trash. Seriously. Blowing up two huge buildings is the kind of thing I'd have gotten into a lot of trouble for when I was in school. His people praise him for it.
And what of Iran? They're denying the holocaust ever happened, and suggest Isreal should be wiped off the planet. Verdict there? White trash.
North Korea. Starving the fuck out of their people while spewing Anti-American vomit. Sorry man, but to me, feeding your children is probably more important than trying to compete with a vast, wealthy nation of jocks, rednecks, idiots and assholes.
Nazi Germany. Well fuck me dumb and make my asshole pucker but even if the holocaust had never ocurred, the simple fact that they started not one but 2, that's TWO, world wars, that's WORLD WARS, killing MILLIONS of people is, in my humble opinion, pretty white-trashy.
In communist China, to this day, if you do something as silly as insult the leadership, you'll be executed. No questions asked. No trial. No lawyers. Just, "come with me," BLAM.
Only, it probably sounds more like this; "Zing way che tao wen tai" BLAM.
Oooooo. That was pretty white-trashy of me, being so racist and sterotyping what will someday be the people that OWN your ass.
But anyway, treating your citizens like that is, again, kinda white-trashy.
Let's discuss the British. These people. They raped the world in their heyday. They may not like Americans, but the sad truth is that the British are the ones who, for all intents and purposes, founded this country. Now, of course, America is so diverse and integrated that you can't really say that the majority of Americans, as it used to be, are of English descent. We've got white trash of every color and culture here today.
But the founders were most certainly British, and by god, if our culture is white trash, it's still, basically, founded in Euro-trash tradition. All one need to is watch "The Wild Ones" and you'll know where I'm coming from.
Also, they killed a whole bunch of indians, and Irish, and Scots, and Native Americans, and they've been pissing off the French (and vice versa) for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years. Non white trash peoples would probably try to patch things up after 5 or 6 hundred years. Not those assholes though.
The Russians? White trash. Bunch of Vodka swilling drunks, AND they've got what is probably the world's most brutal mafia, AND they export their women as wives to rich people, which is basically a form of slave trading. That's pretty white-trash.
Australians. Buncha convicts. They killed the Abbos, too. Bastards. AND, they KEEP PRODUCING ACTORS. What the fuck is with all the Australian actors? Haven't you fuckers got anything better to do down ther? Russel Crowe. Mel Gibson. Hugh Jackman. Sam Neil. How come there aren't any more Australian female actors? What happened? Was Nicole Kidman the ONLY female actress in all of Oz?
Which brings us to.....
Hollywood? If dick and fart jokes aren't white trash, I don't know what is.
Rock stars? Man, it just doesn't get any white-trashier than that.
New York City. A center of culture in the world, right? Arts, Business, Science, and Politics all converge to make it one of the most metropolitan places in the world. Yet the crime rates are outta site, the homeless problem there is horrific, and the taxi-drivers STILL won't pick up black people.
White trash.
My own heritage, the Irish. Beer swilling, potato eating swine. Their Catholic Priests have raped more small boys than I have cattle, and believe me, I've fucked a lot of cows in my time. Cabbage give you gas, too. They're all farting in Ireland, right now, and probably laughing about it. Scumbags. White trash.
Black people. Sure, we all know some black people that are pretty cool. But they're just white trash with black skin. I mean look at Rwanda, for the love of God. Or the Congo. Or Los Angeles.
Black white trash.
Canadians. Your biggest star, Jim Carey, is perhaps most famous for manipulating his asshole to....talk.
We're all white trash. What say we get together and drink beer and shoot squirrels?
Now I've gone and depressed the fuck out of myself. Later. I'm gonna go commit suicide.
Yeeeehaaawww motherfuckers.
User Reviews
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-08-11 23:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-08-11 17:33:32 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2007-08-11 22:39:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-16 13:10:37 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
they're not white trash. the rest of the world is brown trash, yellow trash, black trash, red trash. we're a very diversified world full of trash.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-08-11 20:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-01-24 18:18:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny post.
The british don't hate americans.
The british hate ONE american.
The monkey in office.
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2006-01-24 18:06:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YeeeeHawwww Get Her Done!!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-24 17:54:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SOMEONE HAS BEEN SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN...
Submitted by Bizantine (user info) at 2006-01-16 16:00:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"he'd have died from exposure 50 years ago because he's to fucking stooopid to come in out of the rain."
i'd have said he'd have looked up and drowned.
and,
PokeyPecker, you can shut up and all.
the archduke Ferdinand was not assassinated "by a group of Serbian nationalists" - they were anarchists, who happened to be serbian. want me to tell you how it happened? no? ok then, sit down and shut up.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-16 14:10:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
they're not white trash. the rest of the world is brown trash, yellow trash, black trash, red trash. we're a very diversified world full of trash.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-01-16 13:52:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to go get an "8-Ball" tattoo on my head now so I can fit in.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-01-16 11:54:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-01-15 20:45:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
By the way, Germany didn't become Nazi Germany until 1933, the year Hitler became German chancellor, which is way after WWI. They only caused 1 world war.
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Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2006-01-16 03:55:42 (#)
Ranking: 1
Germany didn't start WWI, cunt.
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World War 1 began after the Archduke of the decaying Austro-Hungarian empire was assassinated in Sarajevo on June 28, 1914 by a group of Serbian nationalists. This event began the struggle between Serbia and the Austro-Hungarian government.
On July 26, 1914, the Austro-Hungarian officials issued an ultimatum to the Serbian government containing five major concessions. Once the time limit on the ultimatum had expired, Austro-Hungary declared war on Serbia. Germany supported Austro-Hungary in the war effort while Russia supported Serbia. Germany therefore declared war on Russia on August 1, 1914 and on their ally, France, on August 3, 1914.
On August 4, 1914, German troops were sent into Belgium, defying the neutrality that Belgium was promised. Great Britain declared war against Germany that same day.
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Shut the fuck up, you stupid fucking idiots.
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2006-01-16 11:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-16 10:07:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
The old lady on the folding chair with the 40-ouncer and the cigarette - that's going to be me someday. I can't WAIT.
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Sorry... too much class for this to be anything more than a gleam in your eye.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-16 10:44:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
white trash revolution!!!!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-16 10:07:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The old lady on the folding chair with the 40-ouncer and the cigarette - that's going to be me someday. I can't WAIT.
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2006-01-16 05:44:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Russel Crowe = Kiwi
Mel Gibson = Yank
Sam Neil = Kiwi
Nicole Kidman = Yank
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-01-16 04:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am British "White-Trash" and proud.
-Dave
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2006-01-16 03:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Germany didn't start WWI, cunt.
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2006-01-16 01:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm just going to sit on my porch with a shotgun and my cosuin/husband is going to play deliverance on the banjo, y'all.
And we didn't kill all the Aborigines, there's still some left because they stole my car stereo and my brother's bicycle. Good on them.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-01-15 23:09:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hi
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-15 22:51:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-01-15 20:45:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Except for black people. And if you think that Bush has fucked up the world's view of Texas, you'd better have a gander at my friend, who also hails from Texas. He would probably make Bush ashamed of being a Texan.
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On an unrelated note, a friend of mine told me she does not celebrate MLK day because she does not believe in black people.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2006-01-15 22:04:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Give 'er Bubba!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-01-15 21:55:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oos. I mean, well done, chap. pip pip!
<golf clap>
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-01-15 21:55:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckin A, man
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2006-01-15 21:33:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"AND, they KEEP PRODUCING ACTORS. What the fuck is with all the Australian actors? Haven't you fuckers got anything better to do down ther? Russel Crowe. Mel Gibson. Hugh Jackman. Sam Neil. " auctally Sam Neil and Russel Crowe are from New Zealand not snake-riden Australia!
cool post bruv hails to u
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-01-15 20:47:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait a sec, shooting squirrels? Count me in, I hate those little 4 wheeled rat-pig things.
Haha, white trash.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-01-15 20:45:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you get right down to it, we're all white trash, in one way or another.
_______________________________
Except for black people. And if you think that Bush has fucked up the world's view of Texas, you'd better have a gander at my friend, who also hails from Texas. He would probably make Bush ashamed of being a Texan.
By the way, Germany didn't become Nazi Germany until 1933, the year Hitler became German chancellor, which is way after WWI. They only caused 1 world war.
Submitted by Azk (user info) at 2006-01-15 20:43:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dont neg this asshole.
Submitted by midwesternknight (user info) at 2006-01-15 20:19:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rednecks, beer drinking, and squirrel shooting how can I not +2
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-01-15 19:15:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2006-01-15 19:08:56 (#)
Ranking: -1
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Naming yourself after a wife/child killer: White trash.
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2006-01-15 19:08:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
<yawn>