Smug Bears and Teenage Follies (582 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JacobT (View user info) at 2006-01-17 18:01:28 EST
I fumble blindly in my closet for the cord to the light; the damn thing always eludes me. Electrical cord, no. Head phones, no. Ahh, there it is. I yanked on the cord and the room lit up instantly.
I turned back to my dresser and resume my search. Behind the socks, under the underwear(briefs, of course), and there it is. That little black, silk thong; my girlfriend left it here, my first girlfriend, my only girlfriend. They weren't just any panties, no, these were the panties. The pair she wore our first time, my first time.
I snatched them out and closed the drawer, and turned back to the closet and turned off the light. I slid back into my queen size bed, more than big enough for two, that seemed so empty without her. I then did what any man would, and won't disgust you with details.
I sloppily wiped my hands down the sides of my pants, and hid the thong under my pillow, I'd put it back in its proper hiding spot tomorrow, just not worth worrying about right now I thought, as I drifted off to sleep.
And then it returned; that familiar feeling of discomfort. No, not Chlamydia, just an uncomfortable feeling in my jaw. A quick twitch of my mouth and my jaw cracked back into place with a loud snap.
I'd like to say it was from a fight I won, hell, I'd settle for a fight I lost, but no, its from something far less impressive. You see, I was the kid who could stick his fist into his mouth. Not just the four fingers up to the knuckle, but the whole thing, thumb and all. Maybe not all of the palm and not quite to the wrist, but it was still better than those other fucks on the playground.
Then I began to wonder, I'm older now, surely my mouth is larger... Might I be able to fit the entire thing, down to the wrist now? Truly this would be a grand endeavor.
I snapped my jaw back out of its rightful place, and balled my right hand into a tight fist. I started with the pinky side, and proceeded to fit all 4 fingers, up to the knuckle. Now the tricky part, I slowly began to force my thumb into my mouth.
I started thinking about the technique, and you see, my mouth on cracks on the left side, because I'm right handed. I always forced the hardest on the side I started with, the pinky side. This would be the left side of my mouth because I do everything with my right hand. Everything...
OH GOD! I do EVERYTHING with my right hand... I right, I open things, hold things, touch... things...
WHY GOD WHY?! I yanked my hand out of my mouth and started to gag. I shot my tongue out and ran out of my room for the bathroom. I grabbed my toothbrush, covered it with an inch of toothpaste and began scrubbing the hell out of my mouth.
I scrubbed until my mouth was raw, and spit bloody water back into the sink after rinsing my mouth for the 20th time. As I looked up from the sink I saw it, taunting me... Toilet paper... if only I had used some toilet paper...
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I dedicate this post to the first Uber site post I encountered, Licking a Bum's ass.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-01-17 21:13:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-01-17 18:11:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just imagine a d at the end of "fumble", it'll make you feel like a better person.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2006-01-17 18:03:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I fumble blindly in my closet for the cord to the light; the damn thing always eludes me. Electrical cord, no. Head phones, no. Ahh, there it is. I yanked on the cord and the room lit up instantly.
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