So stoned you forgot the arse raped dead guy in your pool? (1087 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.57 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Belle (View user info) at 2006-01-18 10:10:17 EST
Hey, you ok? Yeah? Good - glad to hear it...
Um, listen, I thought I'd ask you guys because no matter how many times I sit and ponder it, I just can't seem to get an answer that really fits the bill...
You see, I am a brit, and at the moment, on TV, they're running a "Celebrity Big Brother" - Dennis Rodman is in there, and so is Traci... Um, I don't know her surname, but she used to be on Bay Watch.
Now, that's not really anything to do with my bemusement - I just thought I'd give you something so that you could relate to my story, which really is more to do with one of our home grown "Celebrities" that is in the house.
His name is Michael Barrymore - and in the 80's and 90's he was a well loved general entertainer, who did impressions and told jokes. He was a hit, and got to do a lot of quiz shows as these types of people often do...
Then, in 2001, the police were called to his house because there'd been a bit of a party and there was a dead guy in the pool...
A dead guy who, on further examination, had a damaged rectum... he'd probably been assulted in the pooper by two men.
Keeping with me so far? Good.
Well, that was all quite sensational as he'd only recently come out of the closet to his wife and of course, more importantly to the press and they were hot on this story, because it's not often that celebrities off the general public by bumming them to death.
The press then reported that Micheal Barrymore had actually done a bunk and left the scene of the crime before the police were called, and then left the country... Which, no matter what way you look at it, was a fucking stupid move for someone with nothing to hide...
Still with me?
Well, he missed the court hearing and wouldn't answer questions, nobody has ever been charged, and nobody really knows what happened to this poor guy that they found in his pool. This poor guy who had been invited back to this "party" on the night he first met the showman, and didn't live to tell the tale. Nobody even knows if he was raped or not... nobody is saying anything.
Barrymore claims not even to be able to swim (even though his wife says that he can), and whats even more shocking is that he claims not to remember what went on because he'd been smoking canabis and drinking on the night of the party...
Now, I can't stand the bloke - I never could, and it has nothing to do with bumming people to death, and I have issues over the fact that he's even on my TV, but more than that I have this burning question:
Just how much booze and pot do you think you'd have to chuff before you'd forget how that arse raped dead guy got in your pool?
User Reviews
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2008-02-15 17:44:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
pot ?
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2008-02-15 17:22:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So uh...here's the yahoo ads for this post:
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Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2006-02-03 07:10:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought all gay men had damaged rectums? Typical fucking daily mail reading prudes probably dont realise that gay men put (amongst other often larger things) other mens pee pee's in their poo poo's.
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2006-01-18 16:24:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Also the rumor has it (so far as I've heard) that Rod Stewart had his bilges pumped.
Took on too may semen.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-18 15:03:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, it only took me eight shots of SoCo and three lines of coke the last time.
But, then, I wasn't blitzed out of my mind...it was an intentional "bumming to death."
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-01-18 14:19:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU POSTED THIS FOR ME, RIGHT? SMOOCHIES BABES!
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-01-18 13:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GDR (user info) at 2006-01-18 13:00:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 Content
-1 Gay Content
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2006-01-18 12:41:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cut, Print, Gay.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-18 11:20:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And he's a mumbling um bongo drinker
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-18 11:07:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ewwww.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:57:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:40:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
He could have AT LEAST swam out to give the poor guy a cupcake afterwards. What a terrible butt burgular
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What is this cupcake melarky? I'd read some other posts to find out but I had 3 pints at lunch and I can't be arsed.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:53:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<Insert Jack Dee's "When I invite friends over we just have pasta" gag here>
<Insert criticism for being a vapid, celebrity obsessed mare here>
I liked the picture. That was witty.
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:51:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:40:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He could have AT LEAST swam out to give the poor guy a cupcake afterwards. What a terrible butt burgular.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:40:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yowza.
Speaking of arse raped fags, as I sit here typing this while my students take their end of course quizzes, there is one of them that looks EXACTLY like Richard Gere. I shit you not.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:38:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I cannot help but laugh when I see or hear the word "buggered". We took on your backward ass measurement system, why couldn't we have gotten the word buggered huh? why?
I heard about this show on NPR yesterday. Isn't this the one with someone from the House of Commons on it? They played a wonderful clip of him mewing like a kitten. Rather dignified I have to say.
By the way, while we're talking about your political system, I am intensely jealous of not just the word buggered, but the vicious way you kids attack your members of Parliament.
Every now and then someone in Congress gets all riled up and hits someone with a "good day sir".
Kidding about that, they just unbutton that top button and then whoa boy it's ON.
(no as a matter of fact I didn't get any sleep last night, why do people keep asking me that)
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:38:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ALLWIGHT!!
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:28:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
answer: tons of it. TONS OF IT.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:22:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:16:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyone remember which American actor had to have his stomach pumped for swallowing too much semen?
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That guy from the urban legend that was old even when I was a little kid, you mean that one?
This is the last time I want to hear any shit from Brits about our legal system.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:20:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha, he let some guy get ass-raped and drown at his party and then blamed it on the Green Disease. What a butthole.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:19:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:16:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
It'd take a lot more than pot to make me ass rape some guy to death.
Anyone remember which American actor had to have his stomach pumped for swallowing too much semen?
---
I think thats an urban myth... we say that the guy from Soft Cell (Marc Almond or whatever the fuck his name is) had 4 pints of spunk pumped from his stomach.
That is a hell of a lot of sperm... consider you guys give up about 2 - 3 tea spoons in one shot...
Anyway, we have another celebrity in the house - George Galloway, who was charged over oil for food fraud in the US - he shouted a lot at the senate... and was best mates with Saddam.
Nice...
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:18:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It's only a matter of time before Bruce Forsythe succumbs to the same fate.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:18:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Indeed.
That man needs all kind of help.
The twat.
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:16:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It'd take a lot more than pot to make me ass rape some guy to death.
Anyone remember which American actor had to have his stomach pumped for swallowing too much semen?
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:15:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can understand what he's going through. One time, at primary school, four bigger boys started on. I got the living shit kicked out of me, but part way through I apparantly slammed a head into a tree. Then I buggered him and he died. And I can't even climb trees.
There is a strong possibility I made some of that up.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:15:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice to know the brit legal system bends over for celebrities just like the good old USA
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:15:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Just how much booze and pot do you think you'd have to chuff before you'd forget how that arse raped dead guy got in your pool?
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2 grams and 6 shots of whiskey.
Believe me, I know.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-18 10:12:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ka-la-to-pins?
or xanax...
that works pretty well too.