Hot, Tiny Waitresses (1339 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.03 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tim (View user info) at 2006-01-20 15:56:52 EST
This past weekend I went to North Tahoe with my fiance and some of our "paired" friends. By paired I mean dating, engaged, long term fuck buddys, etc. Anywho, we all shared my friend's Aunt's cabin, it was a blast. One of my best friends Tony came with us, he is the only single friend that I still have, but he's cool with hanging out with all of us couples,(we all hang out together regularly). We went sledding, drank a lot, towed each other on sleds behind our trucks, drank some more, had a gift exchange (all of us couldn't get together for Christmas), drank even more, built gravity bongs, then passed out. We were having the best time any of us could remember having in the snow in a long time. It had started snowing the first night we were there, so there was a good 6" of fresh powder on the ground when we all woke up the first morning. It was the last night that we were there and we decided to go out to dinner together. We picked this little Italian restaraunt right done the highway from us. It was an amazing dinner, the waiters were friendly and helpfull, and they even forgot to charge us the corking fee for our wine. Things were going great, until we asked for doggy bags.
I'm going to fill you in on something before we go too much further. My friend Tony was almost engaged a couple years ago. They had dated for 4 years and, a couple months before he was going to pop the question, she dumped him. She didn't have a very good reason, something about him not liking to club seals or shoot Dolphins or some BS like that. Needless to say our friend was very heart broken and lost a lot of trust with the opposite sex. He has dated several times since then, but nothing longer then it takes to remove the condom. Myself and my other male attached friends have begun to live vicariously through our only single friend Tony. The stories are fun and give us some excitement in our boring attached lives.
This particular evening, the restaraunt we were eating at had some of the cutest girls waiting the tables. They were all a couple years younger than we, but any guy will tell you that was not a problem. Our waitress happened to be the best looking of the lot, and Tony definately noticed this. As we were eating dinner, him and I kept making references to her "beuty", as well as other things very apparent about her physique. All was going well and she was even starting to flirt with my poor friend by the end of our meal. I couldn't help but think that maybe he had a chance of getting her number or possibly getting her to hang out with us tonight when, she brings back the to-go boxes. She handed them out to everyone, and proceeded to ask Tony(and only Tony) if he needed some help(very obviously flirting). "Yeah, only if you can shrink down and fit in this little box so I can take you home with me." The waitress just looked at him and laughed, obviously at his weak-ass attempt of a pick up line. The rest of us at the table were shocked, (my fiance almost choked on her own tongue), as were the 8 or 9 people sitting at the adjacent table. Needless to say, he didn't get the hot waitresses number, and quickly became the brunt of everyone's jokes. Even the other not-as-hot waitresses came over to laugh at him, it was priceless.
I will no longer be living vicariously through my friend's sexual adventures. After witnessing this spectacle, I don't think I can ever listen to any of his "I met this girl last night" stories without falling to the floor laughing. The sad part about all of this, is that the waitress went up to one of my female friends later on and said that she was really interested in Tony until he tryed that line....Burn!
Yes, this is my first post.
User Reviews
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:07:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Spell check is for whiney Uber bitches who can't take a little criticism. I'm not submitting this to a publisher, teacher(although several of you are), or any other place I would even think to give a shit. So Flame on.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2006-01-21 13:34:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
SPELLCHECK TIM.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-21 13:27:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This made me scowl.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2006-01-21 13:09:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Was there supposed to be something funny?
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2006-01-21 03:02:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I donit see whats so ridiculous about that pickup line, maybe thats why I havent gotten laid since august.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-01-20 22:25:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you've been around at all you'll know it's traditional to -2DIE first posts
The subject had potential, but you missed slightly. Less extraneous build up, more actual punch line.
welcome to uber
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-20 20:36:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't read your post because it has thick paragraphs and let's face it, it's friday night and I don't feel like reading.
I'm giving you this +1 because, well, I liked your post's title. I don't know why I liked it and I fear I wouldn't like it if I read your post. So I'm not going to read your post.
We're down right?
That's what I thought.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-01-20 20:31:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
buddys - buddies
done - down
definately - definitely
tryed - tried
"What mispellings?" indeed.
'Twas a shitty post even without the crap spelling and lousy grammar. I can tell you're going to be a valuable and entertaining addition to the site.
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-01-20 19:03:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OMG I was in teh snow`s! I had drunken collage funz! My pussy is all teh golden now!
JUST SHUT IT!
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-01-20 18:53:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What mispellings? other than "beuty" which I dropped the A for a reason. Booty/beuty, booty/beauty. make more sense now? Yeah, and I like to take pictures of OTHER people having fun...forgive me as I quote Red Foreman; YOU'RE JUST A DUMB ASS.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-01-20 18:39:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
-1 for mispeeligns of several key words, and overall lack of anything that made me laff.
not a -2 because the pic reminds me of a hill near where i was born.
That had better be you or someone you know, or i'll fuck up your car
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-01-20 18:22:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm not reading all that if you can't provide the hot and tiny waitresses you promised.
Submitted by GuinnessSince1759 (user info) at 2006-01-20 18:18:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That looks fun. Ahhh...reminds me of old snow memories
Submitted by Lucky13 (user info) at 2006-01-20 18:15:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Welcome. One of the best first posts I have seen. I hope you turn out well. Good Day.
Submitted by Trevor1st93 (user info) at 2006-01-20 18:01:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the picture.
Submitted by damage.com (user info) at 2006-01-20 17:42:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:52:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
HOLD ME CLOSER TINY WAITRESS
SEE THE HEADLIGHTS ON THE HIGHHWAYYYYYYYYY
Damn, you beat me to it!
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-20 17:34:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He got PWNED
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-01-20 17:29:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs more Rape.
Best. Pickup. Line. Ever:
"Excuse me, does this drink taste like ruphenol to you?"
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:52:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
i don't believe you.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:52:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HOLD ME CLOSER TINY WAITRESS
SEE THE HEADLIGHTS ON THE HIGHHWAYYYYYYYYY
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:24:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. Talk about anticlimactic.
Eat shit and die n00b.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:18:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not a bad virgin post
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:17:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:10:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
This was pretty well written (espcially as a fist post) but your choice of story to tell is pour. Your story was basically me and my friends went skiing on the last day my friend hit on a waitress.
The End.
You muist have some better anacdotes than this. If not make them up
It was fresh in my memory, I was more or less testing the waters.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:12:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw. Poor guy.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:10:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was pretty well written (espcially as a fist post) but your choice of story to tell is pour. Your story was basically me and my friends went skiing on the last day my friend hit on a waitress.
The End.
You muist have some better anacdotes than this. If not make them up.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:09:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yes, this is a minus two.
Hope to see more from you, and less of these from me.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:07:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
too much words for me on a late Friday afternoon. My brain has already checked out for the next few days.
I didn't read most of it. Have a +1 because I'm in a not completely shitty mood.
Fuck it have a +2, they don't mean anything. You can tell all the kids that scourgeoftheseas broke your +2 cherry.
Tiny waitress indeed......
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:04:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad for a first post. But if you had any experience under your belt I'd give this a negative.
Welcome to Uber.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:03:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by userpete86 (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:01:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-20 15:58:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
I reckon you had to be there.
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Naw.... I'm the awkward one of my group too. It just takes some understanding.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-20 15:58:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I reckon you had to be there.