One Day At A Time Is One Day Too Few (2648 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetRating: 1.23 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by One Cheap Geek (in mourning) (View user info) at 2006-01-20 16:41:09 EST
It's the end of an era. No, not just one era. You've survived 2 bosses, 12 interns, and 5 primary operators. That's gotta be at least 2 eras.
Your performance was really unheard of in this era of "BIGGER, FASTER, MORE POWERFUL" computing. More power? Fuck that. The 166 MHz you so willingly poured forth from your Intel Inside Pentium processor made some of the most important functions in this place work. Yeah, you didn't have fancy graphics, or even the ability to use a mouse but your uptime was unparalleled.
I remember sitting up with you on December 31, 1999, praying that it wasn't all going to end. We counted down the time. You were either going to prove the haters wrong or leave us for that big circuit board in the sky. As the clock struck midnight, I remember looking deep into your fading, burnt-in screen for a sign of life. And there it was. 12:00:01. 12:00:02. 12:00:03.
As happy as I was, my joy was short-lived. I could tell that you were losing something. I asked what day it was and you said, "April 24, 1980." You weren't sure what day or year it was, but you still faithfully served us. We couldn't put you down. You were an icon. A monument to be respected. I was sure you were going to outlast us all.
Unfortunately, time catches up with all of us. This morning when we came in, the phone's incessant ringing told us something was wrong. Your massive 500 MB Samsung hard drive had dropped a head, taking the SYS volume with it. NetWare 3.11's vrepair wouldn't even recognize it. Sowly we filed past, each of us laying an origamied floppy disk on your battered, yellowing case.
It wasn't until I was alone with you that the first tear fell. It wasn't supposed to end this way. You never got to experience retirement. You never got to see your children grow and take over. You never got that final security patch I put together for you. But mostly, I never got to tell you that you were the best little server I've ever run.
RIP little buddy.
User Reviews
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-07-24 01:22:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Virtual hug.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-07-18 01:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by the_student (user info) at 2006-07-18 01:17:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
if you're going to rate me low then soI am too
=================
retaliatory -2 = auto +2
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-07-18 01:20:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't understand my review of this.
Submitted by the_student (user info) at 2006-07-18 01:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
if you're going to rate me low then soI am too
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2006-05-19 18:57:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK UUUUU
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-05-18 23:35:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Midsummer Night's Dream is performed far too often.
Submitted by FannyGrady (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:30:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by RogerForrester (user info) at 2006-03-05 16:12:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lol yooh keep up teh riting cause ur supah gud!
Submitted by claymation_dude (user info) at 2006-02-17 10:46:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for not discussing christmas in febuary.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-14 21:09:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like it had Alzheimers.
Sounds like it had Alzheimers.
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-02-14 20:59:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
gay
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-13 20:47:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Smoke my pole, again, asshole.
Submitted by ryan5012 (user info) at 2006-02-10 17:57:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-03 11:10:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
But...
You can rebuild him.
You have the technology.
-----------------------
Gold
Submitted by Axtumanu (user info) at 2006-02-09 19:30:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Head crashes only destroy data, so the mind is damaged but HIS SOUL IS STILL INTACT! REBUILD AND REANIMATE!
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2006-02-09 16:33:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2006-02-09 15:12:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Am I such a geek, that that post actually made me feel sad?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-03 11:10:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But...
You can rebuild him.
You have the technology.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-01-23 09:36:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-01-23 09:17:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am very sorry for your loss. You have my most sincere condolences.
Try to remember the good times.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-01-21 18:20:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
was he survived by his loving mouse, and keyboard?
Submitted by HenryV1598 (user info) at 2006-01-21 18:00:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Since the network I run at home could be mistaken for a computer retirement home, I know how you feel. Where do I send flowers to?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-01-21 16:52:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I imagine the service will be heart wrenching.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-01-21 15:35:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heartbreaking.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-01-21 10:18:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I felt the same way when my Tandy exploded. Sad shit really.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2006-01-21 01:45:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed.
Was it certified by two doctors to be sane and within 6 months of death, or are the Supreme Court going to come after you for turning off the life support?
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2006-01-20 18:52:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+++ for free porn!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-01-20 18:20:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's to the last FATAL ERROR
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-01-20 17:11:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The date today did read something like November 3, 1986 but I didn't have a chance to write down exactly what it was.
Sorry. I'm too broken up to be funny. That server was older than some of you.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-20 17:07:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
we take our old boxes out into the desert and execute them by firing squad.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-01-20 17:00:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that''s funny, when i got rid of my last computer, i was all like, "GOOD RIDDANCE, BITCH!!!!!"
now i have a gigantic cheese grater.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:59:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think the date of death shoulda been some millennium bug joke
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:56:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I went out to the warehouse to view the deceased.
Here's a CTRL+ALT+DELETE for all the good 'puters that have been shunned.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:50:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha. Dork.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:45:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I shed a geeky tear with you.
When my laptop died, I mourned.
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-01-20 16:42:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
A sad, sad story.