home. (668 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.55 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Dread Pirate Wesley <weasul-at-gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-01-23 02:14:12 EST
I'm alone in this world. Not a single person accepts me. I'm always pushed, pulled, and shunned. Never accepted for my choices. Family is supposed to embrace who you are. They are supposed to encourage you to be unique. They say Home is supposed to be warm and pleasing. For me, home is dark and dank.
I wandered for years searching for Home. For a warm place. I haven't been able to find it. Every time a hint of Home has been in my mind, it was swept away as if it was trash on the floor. I never deserved this ridicule. My hunt for Home was everlasting, it seems. Traveling everywhere, questioning everyone. I was always met with blank stares and cold shoulders. Other people briefly welcomed me into their Home. But these were not my Home. I needed a Home of my own.
Everywhere I looked, I saw people who did not see me. They seemed to know that I did not have a Home. I wasn't a fan of pity. People would try to comfort me. Try to make me realize that everything was not bullshit. It didn't matter. After all, I was a guest in their Home. It wasn't my own Home. Their Home was bullshit. It wasn't my place, it didn't belong to me.
Where was my Home? I gave up. I didn't need to search anymore. I decided that I would not find this supposed Home. It is a myth. I made myself believe that everyone else was right. I forced myself to accept that I am outcast. That I will never find my Home. I accepted the world that will not accept me.
I still wandered. I was still faced with everything that I had seen before. Anger, hate, disgust, love among others, shock, awe, normalcy. I didn't let it bother me. I had given up. This was the way the world was. Nothing I did could change it. Let others have their Homes. I no longer desire Home.
Today, I wander. I wander through the trees, across the stream, and into a field full of rocks. I see a shovel by one rock. I pick it up, dig six feet deep, and arrive at my front door. I lay in the dark. I am home. My home.
User Reviews
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2006-01-23 10:21:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
no please don't kill yourself
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-01-23 10:10:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If your home is dark and dank, two puffs and pass to the left bitch.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 10:08:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-01-23 07:24:42 (#)
Ranking: -1
Your black clothes and pasty skin and morose look are nothing more than colors showing that you belong to the Un-Glee Club.
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um... so i'm pasty cuz i'm mostly irish and sun causes me to turn crispy and red kind of like a tomato tortilla chip. i have black hair because well there was an accident with the brown that didn't really cover the blue and kinda made it a bad green that didn't really go with my pastiness. i have black rimmed glasses cuz i couldn't afford anything else. and i wore black today cuz it was clean.
i'm gonna go slit my wrists now for being accidently emo.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-23 09:55:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm just a rolling stone,
got no place to call my own,
move to keep the dust unsettled
and lay my hat on the nightstands
of my blase whores.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-01-23 08:57:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-01-23 07:24:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Notwithstanding Wisher's comments, this is rather an Emo read. "Emo hating" is not belittling emotion. It is the belittling of false emotion.
Some poeple take their deep emotional content and bring it forth in a way that is helpful to them and to others. They write songs or stories, they paint, they dance, they sit atop a mountain for 40 years. I'd like to think that this post is an attempt at just such an undertaking.
However...
If the you purport to be a sensitive soul tortured by the world's insensitivity to the point of suicide and trapped within the confines of your inability to express your true feelings in a meaningful way but you haven't actually killed yourself, you are simply faking it for sympathy - you are Emo. Your black clothes and pasty skin and morose look are nothing more than colors showing that you belong to the Un-Glee Club.
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2006-01-23 02:59:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You were there all along. {I wrote "alone". And Katrina was the storm, sure you understood my misspellings.
Again, beautiful. Don't listen to all the Emo hating. That's a bad thing, to shun emotion, which Emo hating really is. It's actually pathetic, what they're actually saying is, "Emotion is so passe, so last month."
DON'T LISTEN. I never do.
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2006-01-23 02:50:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolutely beautiful.
This could have been torn from my diary at 16. My mother was a stripper, and via her looks she "landed" a man who put us up in "that big house on the hill" overlooking the Gulf on Dauphin Island, Alabama. But it was never home. I ran away at 14, came "home" at 16, and have never known home, real home, until after hurrican Karina. Now I live with 12 "homeless" people in a house in Mobile while our "house on the hill" is being rebuilt. I don't intend to go back. Now I have found home, at last, with a bunch of colorful strangers. I never want to leave here.
I didn't like your ending anynore than you did; that can be changed, by simply changing your mind. That's where home really is. You were there all alone.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-23 02:30:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm sure you'll find a nice warm cunt to call your own one day, but I really must protest to your style. Everybody in the world either does or has felt alone and unloved at some point so it's important to be innovative in your, well, let's say articulation of your feelings.
Use blatent language rather than hiding shamefully behind words like 'home'. Perhaps some interesting musing on the nature of sadness, angst and shame. If your drunk, then a wav file of you singing Blake's Jerusalem to cheer yourself up would be fun.
Submitted by weasul (user info) at 2006-01-23 02:27:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2006-01-23 02:24:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
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I know. -2, emo shit. But my friend mentioned something today about digging his grave to his front door and I like the way it sounded. So I decided to write something involving it.
In reality, my home and family life is amazing. Even I envy how good my home has been as of late.
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2006-01-23 02:24:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment