What's in a Name: Caulaincourt (2955 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: whats_in_a_name
Rating: 1.81 on 177 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-01-23 13:30:51 EST
scourgeoftheseas: http://www.ubersite.com/m/82051
Jeanneee: http://www.ubersite.com/m/81681
Badassmofo: http://www.ubersite.com/m/81264
Orgasmatron: http://www.ubersite.com/m/80920
"What's in a Name: Caulaincourt"
From Halifax to Whitehorse, man, I've seen them, loved them all
Bar-hopped in Saskatchewan and shown the girls a ball
Up in Baker Lake the ladies shopped my five and dime
Down in Thunder Bay I left the women feeling fine
This was in my younger days, before I caught the pox
Out in Churchill Falls I left a condom off my cock
She diddled me and riddled me with pus and sores and rash
Who knew I'd get cursed so by a piece of Newfie gash?
Back to Montreal I moved, to lick my seeping wounds
I healed there as best I could, but damn my shit was ruined:
Yearly outbreaks, shame and full disclosure now my fate,
Refills of prescriptions said to keep my plumbing straight.
Sure, I tried to work the angle, tried to find those cursed
With the same disease that from my genitals I'd nursed,
Spied some chicks on Craigslist, but they turned out to be men,
(Once I tried to host, and boy, I sure learned the truth then!)
Lately I've resigned myself to how my life will go
Thanks to that damn Newfie bitch I'll likely die alone,
This, however, doesn't mean I cannot earn a buck
From harnessing my sex drive and my endless need to fuck.
Now I call an' court the women - I'm the phone sex king,
Need to scratch your cunny, honey? Just give me a ring,
It's $2.99 a minute, credit cards accepted,
I'm the safest lay in town, and everyone's protected.
Here at home I listen to the cravings of loose wives,
Grunting while they spear a plastic soldier 'tween their thighs,
I'm not big on fetishes, but I'll sure play the part
If it keeps them on the line, I'll even cut a fart.
Yeah it's lonely sometimes but it sure does pay the bills
I get paid to wank all day until I get my fill,
Sometimes while she's heating up I'll mention STDs
Just in case she's got one...then she's just the gal for me.
Télébec and NorthernTel, I trust that some day soon
You'll connect me to a woman who's diseased and ruined,
Then we'll meet up somewhere, maybe Churchill or Regina
And spend our loving days both popping pus from lips and peener.
Image search result for "Caulaincourt:"
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-25 06:23:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed all this drama and palavar.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2006-01-25 02:05:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How odd.
But good odd, you know?
Like religion.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-01-24 22:12:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-23 21:50:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ca va.
Ou est Phillippe?
=============
What the fuck is going on with you? No more hatred for me? Remember, I am french-canadian? Two things you hate? Shlongeater? What the hell... You start meditating or something?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 20:01:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Good one. I'll admit, you got me.
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2006-01-24 18:02:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this has been done before: http://www.ubersite.com/m/81177
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 14:36:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Or heated like the inside of a fat person's courderoy pantslegs.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 14:30:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is heated like a Malcolm X speech
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 14:27:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
we are way way way too bored today.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-24 14:23:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Scourge I am looking...
Right
At
YOU!
0.0 <--(ME LOOKING AT YOU!)
^.^ <--(Me blinking)
0.0 <--(LOOKING AT YOU AGAIN!)
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 14:08:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<------look over there
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 14:07:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so scared and alone....
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 14:06:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What should a person do when they hate themselves?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 14:06:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But I'm a n00b.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 14:06:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate n00bs.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:59:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah i dunno how i feel about the literature. i read hustler, like actually READ it, but ours kinda make me laugh. they'll turn me on, but i'll be amused so i don't know how that works.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:59:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82598#1791860
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't remember the guys name...Orgasmatron you were the one who he attacked saying you were a noob for not recognizing shitfucks seniority. What was his name? Was it in this post? I don't want to go looking.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:50:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OH NOES!!!!!!!!!!!
I have leapt in where the angels fear to tread? Woe is me.
First, n00b?, yeah I am. So very sad that makes me....I cry the emo tears every night over not having registered on this website sooner than I did. Really I do..
Second, bah. just bah.
Third, who's the little dumbass who'll chime in?
Fourth, the only person worth arguing with on Uber is Caul. Nobody else can be so caustic in their replies. If the sport isn't fun, why play?
Fifth, penis.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:49:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:39:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:29:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Inion- this girl wants some Club magazines. Stat.
-----------
uh that's actually where i work...
===========================
So I've read. Mags suck in general, but I used to live with a guy who'd buy Club and it's one I actually enjoyed. I miss it.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:44:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No upstarts allowed here.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:43:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:37:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:16:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
I turned 29 today, you know what I did lastnight? I got laid. I watched the Edmonton/Calgary game from a Skybox, I got drunk on $60 bottles of wine, AND I picked up a 22 year old student and fucked her sideways.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Go grow a dick and live some of your life bitch.
=======
Internet feuds are fucking gay...
But, you sound kind of like a dipshit, just going off of your recap of last evenings events in your life. Just saying.
-----
Be careful scourge, if you don't admit that shitfuck is a long time Ubervet with near god-like powers, a little dumbass will come over here informing you that you're a noob and that shitfuck makes god's penis look small.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:39:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:29:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Inion- this girl wants some Club magazines. Stat.
-----------
uh that's actually where i work...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:38:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i work for a porn mag. haha the avn thing was actually a business perk i guess. shit couldn't have afforded to stay in vegas at that hotel, gone to the shows, tickets for avn, gotten drunk a few times, eaten where/what i did, unless it was all being paid for by someone else. so yeah i have 19 dvds here that i've been trying to pawn off on people and i think i'm just going to send them to iraq instead. one of my soldiers can find use for them or pass them out.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:37:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:16:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
I turned 29 today, you know what I did lastnight? I got laid. I watched the Edmonton/Calgary game from a Skybox, I got drunk on $60 bottles of wine, AND I picked up a 22 year old student and fucked her sideways.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Go grow a dick and live some of your life bitch.
=======
Internet feuds are fucking gay...
But, you sound kind of like a dipshit, just going off of your recap of last evenings events in your life. Just saying.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:29:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shitfuck is the most poetic man on this site.
Say shitfuck, we elected conservatives! Will you guys ever like us now?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:29:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Inion- this girl wants some Club magazines. Stat.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:28:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
inion what do you do? You said you went to the Woodies convention or whatever in Vegas. I figured it was pleasure but was that a business trip?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:27:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that I am attached, I actually find it to be much more enjoyable. You get everything you got when you were single except you know it's all going to be more fun since you're assured of a good partner.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:26:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so i have 19 dvds i have to get rid of from work. want some?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:25:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:16:07 (#)
What the fuck is wrong with you? Go grow a dick and live some of your life bitch.
===========================
Yeah, what's wrong with you Orgasmatron? What are you doing? Don't you know you can't get laid, go to hockey games, OR drink good wine when you're in a happy relationship?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:24:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:46:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I still find attraction to the human forms in the material, it just doesn't really arouse me. It doesn't lead to me pitching a tent of my own.
Well written erotica can actually do a better job of that for me than visual material. I don't spend an awful lot of time reading well written erotica, however, as there isn't that much readily available.
----
I actually find that the excitement of HAVING new porn is better than actually watching it. I guess I'm just jaded and bored.
And I agree, written is awesome.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:21:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know what, man? That's great. If that's what you're looking for now, then you're getting what you want. And if that's the case, I'm happy for you.
What works for you doesn't have to work for me. I'm living my life, same as you, and I assure you I've done more than my share of living in the past ten years.
If you're looking to stir something up, go sell it somewhere else.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:18:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy fuck almighty. A life like yours would bore me to death.
And don't pull that poetic 'a life less ordinary' bag of shit, you two are pussies.
That's the end of it, that's all I have to say.
Cowards.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:17:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah but anyone can do that shitfuck.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:16:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fagatron, I'm thinking you're pretty fucking pathetic, buddy.
26 and you've already had a failed marriage??? You date a 32 year old??? WTF.
I turned 29 today, you know what I did lastnight? I got laid. I watched the Edmonton/Calgary game from a Skybox, I got drunk on $60 bottles of wine, AND I picked up a 22 year old student and fucked her sideways.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Go grow a dick and live some of your life bitch.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:15:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not that I know of, no.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 13:05:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
first friends then lovers... um so i shouldn't tell you how i got married to mine then. don't want to shatter that one. goodluck. does she still get christmas cards?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:59:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The short-short:
It didn't pick up right after the break up. That would have been foolish for a number of reasons.
I knew the guy's name from conversations with the slut, and looked him up in the phone book to tell his wife the truth. We got together, compared notes, found out they were telling us the same lines at the same time, blah blah blah.
Then, for a while, it was just whatever. Hanging out, talking, etc. I helped her concoct a fake pregnancy plan to make the guy twist for a while...that sort of thing.
We had as much fun as we could with making them squirm.
We spent a lot of time together, but not in a romantic sense. It didn't start off as anything like that since we both had to deal with our issues, we weren't looking for anything from anyone/each other, and didn't want to flirt with the rebound issue.
Then - boom. Attraction reared its head and it's been electric ever since.
Friends first, then lovers. That's the recipe for success, right?
Anyway, she's wonderful.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that's really odd. men are usually visual, congratulations on using another part of your brain when it comes to sex. that makes you kinda special, or weird. but that's ok.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:46:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I still find attraction to the human forms in the material, it just doesn't really arouse me. It doesn't lead to me pitching a tent of my own.
Well written erotica can actually do a better job of that for me than visual material. I don't spend an awful lot of time reading well written erotica, however, as there isn't that much readily available.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:44:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dude that's nuts, you guys have the same baggage. so wait have you been dating her for two years then? how the hell did that work? i want the background.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:43:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:35:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
O-Tron- I'm 32, and I just assumed you were my age until I saw otherwise on some post.
I did feel a little like an internet cradlerobber when I realized most of you are younger than me.
---
Don't feel like a pedo - my girlfriend's 32.
Mayhaps I'm just older for my age, or do a good job of coming off as such. Sleight of hand and all that noise.
And if we want to bring this back to the original infidelity discussion, and really turn this into a soap opera...she's the ex-wife of the guy my wife left me for.
Sigh.
This is what happens when I have no plans to do a post on a given day.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We know "not that kind", otherwise your earlier wish for a peenos wouldn't have made much sense, now would it?
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:42:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooh! Ooh, do me! Me, me me!
I'm pretty if you are even somewhat affiliated with the writing of a post, it turns out to pwn.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:39:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahah well it's not boring for me. i love staring at naked people all day. most of it turns me on, well anything fitting my personal preferences still does. but really i mean body's gonna have a quicker arousal rate to something fleshy and in front of you than something on a screen. wanking and diddling involve at least the sense of touch ya know.
yes i'm camping, pitched a tent, um not that kind though.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:36:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:23:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
eh. i don't care. flood away. i stare at penis and vagina, and even the inbetweeness that is shemales, all day. really, seen it before, gonna see it again tomorrow, unless it's live and in front of me it won't matter.
============================
This is how I've felt about porn for an awfully long time. I find it boring for the most part. I'm too attached to having my sense of smell and touch be part of the experience...
bah
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:35:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
O-Tron- I'm 32, and I just assumed you were my age until I saw otherwise on some post.
I did feel a little like an internet cradlerobber when I realized most of you are younger than me.
And I've never even been married. I think I need a hobby.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:34:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
think of it as "mature for your age." errr, if you're think of that as an insult, sorry. please continue to write me stuff by request.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:33:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was thinking mid thirties.
It's not important anymore, I'm older so I get to be the man of the relationship. Go bake me some cookies.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:28:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:27:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
30+, 40+ on a bad day.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:26:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm just curious...how old do I 'sound?'
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:23:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
eh. i don't care. flood away. i stare at penis and vagina, and even the inbetweeness that is shemales, all day. really, seen it before, gonna see it again tomorrow, unless it's live and in front of me it won't matter.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:12:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You really shouldn't wish for a penis around here. Your inbox will be flooded within miliseconds. Probably already is...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:11:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:06:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
i want a penis so i can just shut off the flow of emotion when it gets stupid. couldn't cut the tie of my own accord.
fucking girldom.
-------------------
Um....nevermind
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:10:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:05:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, it's not my fault you're cheating on her with me.
Keep it in your pants from now on.
-----------
Well if you weren't flaunting your mangina all over the place...
I imagined you as being older than 26. My internet illusions have been shattered. It's all coming together today and I see the light. Reality. You're not all who you say you are....
AAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHH
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:06:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i want a penis so i can just shut off the flow of emotion when it gets stupid. couldn't cut the tie of my own accord.
fucking girldom.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:05:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, it's not my fault you're cheating on her with me.
Keep it in your pants from now on.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:00:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Orgasmatron is 26? I guess I'm the daddy in our realtionship, huh. Oh yeah, my wife said to tell my internet girlfriend "Hi."
Thanks dickhead.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 12:00:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Deal, schmeal. Before I found out there was another guy, I didn't know what the hell was going on...and that was worse. Depression ran in her family - runs, I guess, technically - and her family was concerned that her new, erratic behavior was troubling and may have had something to do with that.
Once I found out she was fucking around on me, it made it much, much easier to deal with.
Boom - instantly cut that tie, no problem.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 11:55:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah well the best i got was his mother told him she was disappointed he cheated and then said right out she was glad we split up. royal fucking cunt. his dad's side liked me lots.
seriously, it's like why in the world do they think you WANT reminders.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-24 11:54:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We'll get her. Ghola will ninja her and I'm short and weak, but I'm crazy. Seems like you're dealing with it well, so this would be more for us. You don't mind, do you?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 11:49:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not yet, though I'm sure they're going to get something from me explaining the whole thing.
For their peace of mind, of course.
The family all like me, and still send me holiday cards every now and again. Of course, I was the one that was up front with them when the whole infidelity issue came up.
I imagine they appreciated the honesty, since they were getting none from her.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 11:45:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
did you return to sender after opening up the card and putting fuck you on it?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-24 11:41:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 11:37:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
She may still be with the guy for all I know. Or not. Haven't had much in the way of updates in quite a while (not that I'm complaining).
It's interesting how news does and doesn't travel, because I got a Christmas card from her cousins this December wishing "the both of you a great holiday!" IT'S BEEN OVER TWO YEARS PEOPLE.
-----
Hahaha. Well what can you expect? They share the same "dumb-fuck" genes she has.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 11:37:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She may still be with the guy for all I know. Or not. Haven't had much in the way of updates in quite a while (not that I'm complaining).
It's interesting how news does and doesn't travel, because I got a Christmas card from her cousins this December wishing "the both of you a great holiday!" IT'S BEEN OVER TWO YEARS PEOPLE.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 11:31:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
we should introduce our ex's. they seem fit for eachother.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 11:25:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope, not rich. Not poor.
Just a slut who'd rather fuck her $100K/year boss than honor her marriage vows.
You know...that old chestnut.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 11:09:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah well that's older than me. and i'm 23 and i have an ex husband... maybe we're just ahead of the game?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-24 11:07:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 10:59:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Dirty old man? I'm 26!
---
26 and you already have an ex-wife? Damn man. Use 'em and lose 'em huh? Was she rich?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 10:59:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dirty old man? I'm 26!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 10:58:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahha. ya know... that's great. i'll take that as a compliment cuz although it's not a hard feat to accomplish, most girls can't. another +2 for being a dirty old man.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-24 10:44:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shitfuck - Her public beard's the easy one to stroke, what with it being out and available for everyone to enjoy.
It's her private beard that's the tricky one to reach. You're welcome to it if you like.
IDT - If my Thursday looks like it'll be slow enough, I might just turn my SPT into a by-request session.
Whenever I collapse your name like this, a flash of "I Deep-Throat" always runs across my mind for a second. FYI.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-24 10:36:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That part about you stroking your mom's public beard was funny.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-24 10:12:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 22:54:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Gay tendencies were taken care of in the poem that inion requested, below.
The fishing? Well, I can't hit everything, can I?
----------------
i love that you do stuff on request. i really liked my epitaph, which was significantly longer than everyone else's and it came first. ha!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-01-24 09:23:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmm....... ghola
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-01-24 08:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2006-01-24 01:19:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful. How cool that you actually found a coat of arms that depicts the "pigeon-beating" incident!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-24 01:03:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What's in a Name: Ghola
Huh?
Huh?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-23 23:04:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:33:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ax-man: First off, don't let Berty's post dissuade you. He admittedly knows jack about poetry, so why should you stop just because he doesn't like the form?
What's more, don't weep and say this pales in comparison to my stuff. My ego enjoys a good blowjob once in a while, but in this case it's unjustified. I write poetry - big deal. Many write it better, and are more deserving of the headsauce.
This is not to say that I don't appreciate the kind words. For I do. Rather, don't go putting your own work down because you're comparing it to someone else's. You won't get anywhere that way, son.
Now, to your concoction.
A few questions first:
- are you looking to make it a modernized version? You mention Bush and red states, but Brokeback Mtn. takes place in the 70s.
- is this meant to be a poem or a song? You mentioned verses, so I was curious if you were intending this to be presented as something to be read on a page or cast aloud with music.
------------
Ah, I'm all right. Just exaggerated toadying.
I've finished the rest of the poem. I'll post it tomorrow. I just didnt' want to seem derivative, or cashing in on the next "uber fad" or anything.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-01-23 22:57:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hey caul,
looks like Jack's long-lost brother won in markham-unionville (ontario)
http://www.cbc.ca/canadavotes/riding/153/
Fancy that he's a liberal eh?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 22:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Gay tendencies were taken care of in the poem that inion requested, below.
The fishing? Well, I can't hit everything, can I?
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-01-23 22:48:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Where's the part about the gay tendencies? Or fishing, you left out fishing.
Nice job though.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-23 21:50:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ca va.
Ou est Phillippe?
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-01-23 21:48:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy, can't you come up with something better whenever something about the French is mentionned? Every fucking time somebody says Caul or Québec or Cheese, or France or smelly, you whip out the "Ou est Sylvie? À la piscine" card. Get orignal.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-01-23 21:41:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-01-23 19:44:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can never make it past the first line.
I've tried, man.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-23 19:31:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-23 19:16:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ou est Sylvie?
______________________________
Sylvie? I fucked her!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-23 19:16:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ou est Sylvie?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 19:08:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was just thinking that it'd have the potential to turn into one of their little slap-fights.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-23 19:07:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 19:01:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Where's McCallum when you need him to point out the hilarity of Caul surrendering?
_______________________________________________________
Why is that hilarious? He's of French extraction, fer Chrissakes.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 19:01:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Where's McCallum when you need him to point out the hilarity of Caul surrendering?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 18:59:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sonnet, ballade, Alexandrin and rondeau I know. The rest I'll have to google later.
And I'll definitely have to check out your recommendation. That's quite an undertaking.
I would have gone on, but I was limited by the structure that the wily French had created. The English language cannot spread its wings when caged in French, poetic iron.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 18:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Orgasmaton - If you're interested in seeing real impressive poetry, I suggest Cyrano De Bergerac, the movie with subtitles of course. It's a pretty long play that is written completly in Alexandrins (12 syllables per verses, divided in two "héméstiches", seperated by a caesura...all of which must rhyme) Not only is the amount of work put in there unbelievable but the texts are pretty good.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0099334/
It won an Oscar and numerous other awards. It's pretty good.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-23 18:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:53:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Kol-an-coor
It's a stupid user name but it's teh one I got.
_________________________________________________________
Heh. It ain't any dumber than Bubba. . .
Good job, Gassytron, as usual.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 18:09:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
p.s. I bet you had to google these terms...english bitch :-)
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 18:07:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm clearly outmatched because 1. I'm not good at poetry and 2. I don't master english very well.
http://pointofview.bluehighways.com/images/surrender2.gif
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 18:04:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's a rondeau for you:
The French blow stale wind through their lips
While history 'round them passes, slips
Out windows, over hills, through doors,
Their art, their language, does implore
The writer: "play with flow and script."
New structures writers form from lips
Which from thick semen often drips
(Drawn from assholes stretched, used and sore)
The French blow.
The Frenchmen English verse eclipse:
Their time, poor spent on stanza strips,
Wasted, leaves the men weak in wars,
No time for showers, mindless bores.
The French blow.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 17:48:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-01-23 17:42:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
The noun is arriéré or attardé as well.
For a person with down syndrome, it's usually "trisomique" or "mongole"
===============
Not a nom. It's un adjectif.
===
Petit sot, vas.
On peut dire "un arriéré" ou "un attardé" Donc, c'est un adjectif et un nom à la fois.
Au risque d'être un peu méchant, je crois que je maîtrise mieux ma langue qu'un Acadien :-P
Ah oui, j'oubliais...je vais voter Bloc finalement.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 17:46:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 17:07:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a mercenary, man. Inion got what she asked for.
My services are at your disposal if you'd like to retaliate.
===
While clever
Your silly verses
Carry no fervor
Unlike a naked nurse (wtf?)
For you use English
A language so frigid
And devoided of garnish
That any strophe is insipid
No structrure
Or color
The french literature
Is clearly superior
A "rondeau", an "épithalame"
A "sonnet", an "Alexandrin"
A "ballade" or a "calligramme"
Do you know these, Anglo cretin?
Let's face it
Poetry is for latins only
As english is clearly unfit
Much like the french are for victory
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-01-23 17:43:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can somebody please tell me if JonnyX is a dude or what???
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-01-23 17:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The noun is arriéré or attardé as well.
For a person with down syndrome, it's usually "trisomique" or "mongole"
===============
Not a nom. It's un adjectif.
Beautiful franglais right there eh. Fucking Acadians.
As far as cousin-fucking goes, come on, everybody goes through the akward experimenting stage. Right? RIGHT?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-23 17:26:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 cause i thought the picture was funny.
and i don't hate poetry.
i swear.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-23 17:13:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 17:07:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a mercenary, man. Inion got what she asked for.
My services are at your disposal if you'd like to retaliate.
-------------------------------
DANCE, MONKEY!
I'll have to come up with a request.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 17:07:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a mercenary, man. Inion got what she asked for.
My services are at your disposal if you'd like to retaliate.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 17:00:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 16:26:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
inion...you didn't pick a particularly dense song, but here's what I've got:
Jack_McCallum:
You've got product in your hair, cousin fucka
Disgracing Canucks everywhere, cousin fucka
You're a cousin fucka, yes that's right
You knocked your cousin's boots that night
Tiger Lilly:
Frenchies suck the root, you cousin fucka
I don't know what you're all aboot, cousin fucka
You humped her on the maple leaves
You wiped your dick off on her sleeve
(farting noise)
Jack_McCallum: Hmm!
(farting noises)
(laughing)
(farting noises)
Mountie: What's going on here, eh?
(farting noies)
Canadians: Heeeeeeeeeeeey
Hoser hoser cousin fucka hoser hoser hoser hoser
Jack McC & TL: Hockey's overrated, cousin fucka (Jack_McCallum: cousin fucka)
Jack McC: You're a bacon loving boner cousin fucka
TL: Your cousin's hot but stay away
Jack McC: It's ok, Tiger, Caul is gay!
Canadians: (laughing)
Jack McC & TL: Cousin fucka...that's
Canadians: C-O-U-S-I-N fuck you cousin
fuckaaaaaaaaa tonight
Tiger Lilly: Suck my balls.
==
Funny, but not exactly flattering.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 16:28:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
tears rolling down face, can't breathe. stifling laughter.
Submitted by GuinnessSince1759 (user info) at 2006-01-23 16:28:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yay....good day.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-23 16:27:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:18:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:15:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
hmm, how much asskissing do I..erm, I mean 'someone'...have to do to get you to do one of these on them?
---
Depends on when you're going to send me real pictures of you in lingere.
------
What are you talking about, that is me!
I just, uh, dye my hair a lot.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 16:26:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
inion...you didn't pick a particularly dense song, but here's what I've got:
Jack_McCallum:
You've got product in your hair, cousin fucka
Disgracing Canucks everywhere, cousin fucka
You're a cousin fucka, yes that's right
You knocked your cousin's boots that night
Tiger Lilly:
Frenchies suck the root, you cousin fucka
I don't know what you're all aboot, cousin fucka
You humped her on the maple leaves
You wiped your dick off on her sleeve
(farting noise)
Jack_McCallum: Hmm!
(farting noises)
(laughing)
(farting noises)
Mountie: What's going on here, eh?
(farting noies)
Canadians: Heeeeeeeeeeeey
Hoser hoser cousin fucka hoser hoser hoser hoser
Jack McC & TL: Hockey's overrated, cousin fucka (Jack_McCallum: cousin fucka)
Jack McC: You're a bacon loving boner cousin fucka
TL: Your cousin's hot but stay away
Jack McC: It's ok, Tiger, Caul is gay!
Canadians: (laughing)
Jack McC & TL: Cousin fucka...that's
Canadians: C-O-U-S-I-N fuck you cousin
fuckaaaaaaaaa tonight
Tiger Lilly: Suck my balls.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 16:24:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah but there were two girls in his bed and he still chose to fuck his cousin. he gets the benefit of the doubt though, he said he didn't know till after. but he's a cousin fucker.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 16:21:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 16:09:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul slept with his cousin?
I need a few more details.
===
A far cousin. We didn't know. Some girl told us our respective fathers are cousins afterward. It's not directly related but still. Plus, our fathers really ressemble each others so it's kinda scary.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 16:09:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul slept with his cousin?
I need a few more details.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 16:08:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
orgasmatron - rewrite southpark song uncle fucker to fit caul as cousin fucker. also be more creative than they were with their lyrics.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 16:05:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I did. I could take or leave the overall story, interesting as it is, but the short stories told throughout the book are priceless. Particularly "Guts."
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-23 16:03:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Chuck Palahniuk=Choke. It's my first from him & just started..it's hilarious. I read not-so-hot reviews on Haunted. Did you like it?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:57:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:47:51 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:23:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Lucky I didn't read this then.
I hardly ever read posts here, that would waste time that could be spent giving "constructive criticism".
I concur. I RARELY read any posts. I just scan them for my name drop. Fortunately for all of us, Shlongy is mentioned in 61.72% of all posts.
Then I simply drop an insult from my incredibly complete arsenal and go on my merry way.
===
You seem to suffer from the Napoleon syndrome with your self-aggrandizing Internet stature, shorty.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:54:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:49:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
I know:( There are 2 devotees in my immediate circle that never let me forget.
One Chuck Palahniuk & 2 Vonneguts (my favorite) from now, I'll probably start.
----
Which CP book? Haunted? I read that just as the fall started in earnest last year.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:34:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:20:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Lollinfort - True enough. I'm an agreeable sort most of the time. I fear all of my rage will ball up inside me and kill me before I hit 40.
--------
That's why you have to find the shittiest posts and leave extremely hate-filled reviews. That way, you don't end up dying of some horrible kind of brain hemmoraging. And your reviews are justified.
-------
Thank you for reminding me! I knew they were good for something, just like prostate exams.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:22:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dam, I have missed these.
---
They missed you too, snuggles.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:49:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know:( There are 2 devotees in my immediate circle that never let me forget.
One Chuck Palahniuk & 2 Vonneguts (my favorite) from now, I'll probably start.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:23:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Lucky I didn't read this then.
I hardly ever read posts here, that would waste time that could be spent giving "constructive criticism".
I concur. I RARELY read any posts. I just scan them for my name drop. Fortunately for all of us, Shlongy is mentioned in 61.72% of all posts.
Then I simply drop an insult from my incredibly complete arsenal and go on my merry way.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:34:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're doing yourself a disservice, Lish. Get you to the Tower but quick.
'Cell' comes out tomorrow, too, by the way.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:34:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:20:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Lollinfort - True enough. I'm an agreeable sort most of the time. I fear all of my rage will ball up inside me and kill me before I hit 40.
--------
That's why you have to find the shittiest posts and leave extremely hate-filled reviews. That way, you don't end up dying of some horrible kind of brain hemmoraging. And your reviews are justified.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:33:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ax-man: First off, don't let Berty's post dissuade you. He admittedly knows jack about poetry, so why should you stop just because he doesn't like the form?
What's more, don't weep and say this pales in comparison to my stuff. My ego enjoys a good blowjob once in a while, but in this case it's unjustified. I write poetry - big deal. Many write it better, and are more deserving of the headsauce.
This is not to say that I don't appreciate the kind words. For I do. Rather, don't go putting your own work down because you're comparing it to someone else's. You won't get anywhere that way, son.
Now, to your concoction.
A few questions first:
- are you looking to make it a modernized version? You mention Bush and red states, but Brokeback Mtn. takes place in the 70s.
- is this meant to be a poem or a song? You mentioned verses, so I was curious if you were intending this to be presented as something to be read on a page or cast aloud with music.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:31:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:24:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:15:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:11:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
no one will notice if canada votes for anything.
===
You will when our Furher commands hordes of Canadian norsemen to descend upon you.
Cry havoc! And let slip the mooses of war!
------------
i might like being raped and pillaged. as long as it wasn't by a canadian who recently had his dick in his cousin, then i might not feel so good about that.
===
Fear not, I will surrender before we even get to the raping.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:28:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:24:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Blame Stephen King, Lish.
Ever read the Dark Tower books? "Wolves of the Calla" has forever stuck the word "roont" inside my head, and now I just tend to think of it as having one syllable or two.
---------------------------------
I love the King, and people think I'm nuts for this..but I found myself reading so much of his that I wanted to branch out into other authors. Having never started the series, I decided it was best to shelf it for a couple years. I'm forever being told this was a bad decision.
I figure it's regional, right? Here in SE PA, it's 2 syllables. Upstate, one.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You inspire me, Orgasmatron. Truly all my base are belong to you, and you have set me up the bomb. Or someone has, at least.
I've tried my hand at poetry in a pathetic attempt to emulate you, such as my Holiday Songs from Uber - http://www.ubersite.com/m/81038 - but I've read Berty's post about how we should all cease, as indeed we suck.
I tried to make a version of Brokeback Mountain in poetry form, as a way to mock and entertain my friends by substitution their names for the two gay cowboys. I tried to make it funny, but it ended up being too serious, which will be depressing and awkward.
Here are the first three verses, what do you think? I'm not going to post it yet, or at all maybe.
In the hills of east Wyoming
Where the horses wild were roaming
Where the west wind kissed the heather
In the cool Rocky Mountain air
I traveled there some years ago
Coming to the Rocky's slopes, though
There was barely naught but cows there
On the high slopes and pathways fair
By train I came from the Midwest
Finding work at my soul's behest
And I settled on a small ranch
Distant, at Brokeback near Cheyenne
The place was good to me, and dear
My memories I ponder here
As I recall that summer back
When there was love in this great land
The wind caressed the grasses there
Like music in the mountain air
The state I circumspected as
I gazed far along the bright towns
Foreign, strange people caught my eye
Such as a Canadian spy
People dodging draft and parole
On the lam, or insane, the bold
Fugitive and outcast mingled
Society had cast them down
Red-state right-wingers sung their songs
How Bush was right and all else wrong
To the throng of non-liberal
Wyoming girls and gentlemen
No progressive I did see, nor
Tolerance, acceptance for
My latent and burning feelings
That I had buried deep within
*weeps* pale in comparison to your masterful art.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:15:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:11:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
no one will notice if canada votes for anything.
===
You will when our Furher commands hordes of Canadian norsemen to descend upon you.
Cry havoc! And let slip the mooses of war!
------------
i might like being raped and pillaged. as long as it wasn't by a canadian who recently had his dick in his cousin, then i might not feel so good about that.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Blame Stephen King, Lish.
Ever read the Dark Tower books? "Wolves of the Calla" has forever stuck the word "roont" inside my head, and now I just tend to think of it as having one syllable or two.
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:23:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lucky I didn't read this then.
I hardly ever read posts here, that would waste time that could be spent giving "constructive criticism".
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:22:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dam, I have missed these.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:21:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mooses of war... thats my kinda party
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:20:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA He called you quire!!! Wait- what does 'quire' mean?
I briefly considered a response to Caul's foodie post the other day, and found a much more stereotypical image for 'Caulaincourt'. I refrained.
Also, it totally worked in deference to your meter, but can I just say I HATE when the word 'ruin' is pronounced as one syllable? Like 'roon'..I hate that SO much. It's not how I roll.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:20:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lollinfort - True enough. I'm an agreeable sort most of the time. I fear all of my rage will ball up inside me and kill me before I hit 40.
Thankfully I let it all out every once in a while by beating my girlfriend.
She's a professional boxer, though, so it's not an unfair fight.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:18:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:15:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
hmm, how much asskissing do I..erm, I mean 'someone'...have to do to get you to do one of these on them?
---
Depends on when you're going to send me real pictures of you in lingere.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:17:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Orgasmatruc - rating posters one hates gives one an opportunity to spew some venom.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:16:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You sir, just made my day.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:15:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hmm, how much asskissing do I..erm, I mean 'someone'...have to do to get you to do one of these on them?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:11:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
no one will notice if canada votes for anything.
===
You will when our Furher commands hordes of Canadian norsemen to descend upon you.
Cry havoc! And let slip the mooses of war!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:14:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's like this: I hate FatTony posts. Hate them.
So what do I do? I just don't read them. Save myself the trouble. Maybe have a Dr. Pepper instead.
If I do review them, I don't really read them. I just leave my hate and move on.
If I understand that, day in and day out, someone's posts are going to rub me the wrong way or disappoint me, I just leave well enough alone and find something else to read.
S_Fuck: Feel free to spoon me whenever you like.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:14:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:11:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no one will notice if canada votes for anything.
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:04:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, you don't get understand. I want to embrace YOU my quire poet friend.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 15:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know...it doesn't make sense to me.
To me it's likes saying "don't vote".
which reminds me...ALL CANADIANS...VOTE! TONIGHT!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:55:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
All I'm saying is if he understands that my posts are banal, and wants to avoid it, then he's better off not checking out my stuff.
Now, if he doesn't want to avoid it - and wants to embrace it - that's a different story entirely.
More power to him, then.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:53:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think idea of telling someone to not click the link is a bit stupid. The whole point of Uber is to get our post rated. Not to get a certain amount of fans to +2 our "work"
Embrace ze hatred.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:38:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No one's telling you how to live your life, Chauncey.
Just a suggestion is all.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:32:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lèche-vitrine
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:31:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok next. french equivalent of "window licker."
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:21:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
arriere makes me think of derriere, yeah can't spell it. retard=butts. now that's the adjective right. what's the noun?
===
The noun is arriéré or attardé as well.
For a person with down syndrome, it's usually "trisomique" or "mongole"
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
arriere makes me think of derriere, yeah can't spell it. retard=butts. now that's the adjective right. what's the noun?
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:19:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't tell me how to live.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:18:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for stopping by.
If you care to avoid the banality, don't click the link.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:17:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:16:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
what's the word for retarded in french? is it just like retarde with an accent?
===
attardé or arriéré
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:16:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's in a banal post. This.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:16:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what's the word for retarded in french? is it just like retarde with an accent?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:05:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Needed more paragraphs about his gay factor.
And maybe one about the Senators.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:02:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-01-23 14:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:59:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*Applause*
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:57:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"What's in a name: AJ"
Anthony Joseph.
THE END
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:56:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No, it's all right. I'm retarded anyway.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't pronounce Jeanneee's name "G and E" either.
With this series I'm taking what I can from people's name and working from there.
If that explains the confusion, so be it.
Perhaps I should have gone another direction with this.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:53:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kol-an-coor
It's a stupid user name but it's teh one I got.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:51:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ya do that co-lahn-core thing?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:46:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:45:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:42:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't get the whole thing to be honest. Good I suppose.
---
It all hinges on 'call and court' really, because that's what I used to build the thing around.
===
Maybe that's why, I don't pronounce it that way at all.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:45:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:42:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't get the whole thing to be honest. Good I suppose.
---
The speaker slept around all over Canada, contracted some sort of STD from a woman, and now spends his days working a phone sex line so he can put his libido to work. It's made him rich, but he's lonely, because he wants another physical relatioship with a woman, yet fears passing on his disease.
It all hinges on 'call and court' really, because that's what I used to build the thing around.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:42:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well done sir
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:42:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't get the whole thing to be honest. Good I suppose.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:40:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think these "What's in a name" stuff you do is your best works. Good on ya buddy. Though I know you just got two hobos to shit this out while you sat back drinking a margarita watching.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:37:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
rock it like a masochist.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:36:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
caul herpe penis and eating lunch don't mix.
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:36:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She diddled me and riddled me with pus and sores and rash
Who knew I'd get cursed so by a piece of Newfie gash?
_______
HAHA. This is great.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:35:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck these are clever.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:35:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope he likes it.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Télébec and NorthernTel, I trust that some day soon
You'll connect me to a woman who's diseased and ruined,
Then we'll meet up somewhere, maybe Churchill or Regina
And spend our loving days both popping pus from lips and peener.
-----
OMG TIHS IS NOT TEH RIME
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-23 13:32:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Poetry in motion.