He Won't Poop (1461 hits)
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Rating: 1.17 on 74 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2006-01-26 10:55:50 EST
There is a 3 year old boy who is going through "potty training".
He's at the point where he will announce that he has to go potty, at which point we stand him before the toilet and say "make bubbles!!".
He answers, "My peanut is leaking!!! YAY!"
Good times.
The problem is with poop.
He hates pooping in his diapers because, well, it's gross. He hates being changed and wiped.
However, he doesn't understand the concept of pooping on the toilet.
Three year olds aren't the only males who don't understand this concept. When I was in highschool I worked at the local supermarket, bagging groceries, sorting bottles and gathering shopping carts from the lot.
Once a week I had to clean the bathrooms after the store closed. I can't tell you how many times I'd walk into the mens room to be confronted with a big pile of poo NEXT to the toilet, smeared on the walls, or one time, in the sink.
Perhaps one of our customers had a phobia involiving standing water.
Anyway... Circe suggested sitting the boy on the toilet at the time he normally poops, and just waiting.
Last night the wait was 45 minutes, at which time we gave up.
This morning after half an hour, he insisted he wanted off the toilet, and I finally gave in, and let him off.
The first thing he said was, "I want my big boys on!!".
"Why?" I asked.
"I have to fart."
"No big boys... you fart in the TOILET, baby."
He refused to sit back down, and I refused to hand over the "big boys". It did cross my mind that it would sound bad if the boy went to daycare or grandmas house saying, "Corinne made me walk around naked!", but I hope they'd understand.
He mulled around the bathroom for a few minutes, refusing to leave without his "big boys" on.
I sat him back down on the toilet. Ten minutes later and still... NOTHING.
"Okay, nice try... go ahead and put your big boys on, kid-o."
Two seconds later I was changing a poopy diaper.
HOW DOES IT WORK!??! Seriously, how? I think making a kid sit on the toilet for more than 45 minutes might be teetering on abuse, but I have no other ideas on how to make the poo magically propel itself from his butthole.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-27 17:26:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Shit in your hat and pull it down over your ears.
I'm not sure if it solves the problem but it's a great expression.
Submitted by digdug (user info) at 2006-01-27 12:06:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I worked at the Outlet malls one summer in my town...It was the Calvin Klein outlet and I worked the fitting rooms. I can't even recount to you how many Asians/Indians/Non-Caucasians...
A) Pissed in the fitting rooms
B) Shat in the the fitting rooms (only happened once, actually, but one time too many for me)
C) Let their kids piss and shit in the fitting rooms.
I stopped working there.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-27 11:55:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hah durae "the other kids shit in the toilet!"
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-01-26 23:08:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:14:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I've been there and I feel for ya.
I know it's been said a million times, but boys really are much more stubborn than girls when it comes to pooping in the toilet.
**************************************
This comment made me wonder what kind of child pooper I was, and how it compares to my bowel movements today. I wonder how I could word this question to my parents in a way that won't make them think I'm on drugs or some kind of Cleveland Steamer Aficionado.
I'm kidding. They don't know what 'cleveland steamer' means. Or 'aficionado.'
Submitted by bento (user info) at 2006-01-26 23:08:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
[fart sound]
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-01-26 22:47:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
never fails.
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-01-26 15:40:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Tell him he is feeding the 'Poop monster'. It worked for my 11 year old.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-26 14:26:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i still say if ya stopped cleaning up for him he'd really have to get the hang of it himself.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-01-26 14:19:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Guilt trips always work. Tell him that the fish, whales, and sharks in the ocean all live off of poo that goes into the toilet. If he doesn't start shitting in the toilet, all the fish will starve and die and it'll be all his fault.
You could also say he'll die if he doesn't do it or you could make him change his own diapers. If changing your own shitty diapers doesn't teach you to go in the toilet, I don't know what will.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-26 14:12:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:49:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
lone = learn I assume. But otherwise, yes indeed. It's life skills or as well call it here 'embedded learning.'
All unemployed person should suffer the 'fingernail experience' - whereupon after changing a child's nappy they absently scratch their nose - flinch- then gaze in horror at the foulness now lurking underneath their nails before running screaming to fetch the Ajax for a good scrubbing.
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You robbed that off Jack Dee.
---
I believe that is true. However, he is a midget.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2006-01-26 14:02:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Stickers. Kids love stickers.
Are there any other kids at his daycare that are potty training? Then you can use peer pressure against him like, "Look, Johnny shit in the toilet, don't you want to be cool like Johnny?" Or, "What the hell is wrong with you kid, everyone else can do it." etc. It probably would help if someone would do it with him there.
The whole reason Jake wanted to start potty training is because another boy at daycare was doing it (who is three, by the way) and he thought it looked like fun or something.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-01-26 13:46:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We started potty-training our 3 year-old son towards the end of last year. At first he wouldn't go poopie on the potty either. Once we let him stand and pee, as opposed to sitting, he got the hang of it. He would also watch my husband use the bathrrom- which kinda freaked my husband out, but it showed my son how to go potty.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-26 13:30:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!SOUP'S ON BITCHES!!!
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-01-26 13:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is the bathroom warm?
It is the middle of winter, and some people have colder shitters, might be tough for the little guy to squeeze it out, crank up the heat a little bit.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-26 13:21:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 13:11:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
hah... Katie, I love you, woman. Man, after I drunk post, I always creep back to my computer after sober, hesitantly click on my post, and squint while I read what I posted and what people had to say about it.
-----------------------------------------
Are we the same person? My eyes are starting to hurt from all the squinting.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 13:11:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hah... Katie, I love you, woman. Man, after I drunk post, I always creep back to my computer after sober, hesitantly click on my post, and squint while I read what I posted and what people had to say about it.
Either that or I just forget that I ever posted, and find it a few days later like, 'oh fuck'.
At least when I'm drunk and NOT on uber, I can just "forget" what happens. Some people call that a blackout.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-26 13:08:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 12:56:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay Katie, this one is for you...! but I can't have more than one because I've learned long ago that being drunk and browsing uber is a bad idea.
----------------------------------
Oh, believe you me, I know that.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 13:01:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeremy, as far as age goes... most books/online material says "it's not significant" or something along these lines:
Toilet training is easiest when children are physically and emotionally ready, which happens between age 2 and 3 years. Girls usually gain physical control over their bowel and bladder muscles before boys do. On the average, most girls are potty-trained by age 2-1/2 and most boys
about age 3. Don't be alarmed if a child doesn't follow this pattern closely; individual children mature physically at different rates.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-26 12:58:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
teach him the Cleveland Steamer - that will ensure continuous employment in the adult film industry later in life...
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 12:56:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay Katie, this one is for you...! but I can't have more than one because I've learned long ago that being drunk and browsing uber is a bad idea.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 12:53:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I actually have read a few, but for the most part I'm finding they they all have "one proven method" (unlike uber, who has about 158 people proven to be Method), and I am trolling for some advice from parents and/or people who've been through it.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-26 12:52:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Since you're home and doing nothing. Have a beer for me.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-01-26 12:50:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is Razor.
There are a number of books out there, but at three a pediatrician should be consulted.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 12:37:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-26 12:32:43 (#)
Ranking: 1
Tape a toilet to his ass, "big boy" pants-style.
He'll go eventually.
haha comments like this are what makes uber great... or it could be teh ghey which makes uber great.
Who knows?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-26 12:32:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Tape a toilet to his ass, "big boy" pants-style.
He'll go eventually.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-01-26 12:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:45:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
ExLax would only make the kid shit himself more frequently, and messily.
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Not if you chain him to the pot for a few days. Limit the options.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-26 12:06:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Poop.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-26 12:02:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:53:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
i think at 3 years old the little shit's parents should've taught him this already. i can understand maybe bedwetting for a couple more years but if he's not shitting on the pot his parents should make him wear real underwear and then make him clean himself up every time he shits in it. maybe if everyone stops wiping his ass because they're not accidents he'll learn not to shit in his pants.
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I have this mental image of a short girl with small breasts beating a toddler with a switch and screaming. Oddly enough I'm not turned on.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-01-26 12:01:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I used stickers as a reward. I came out of the bathroom sporting my super cool I'm a big kid cause I use the potty sticker and told my son only big kids get stickers blahblahblah.
Make a big deal about it, he will want what you have. But don't tell him "If you use the toilet, I'll take you out and buy you a toy" tactic, because they will not understand why you just don't give him the toy or why toys have any relation to the toilet.
Plus you don't want to plant the toy/toilet idea in his head.
OH! don't forget to get a kiddie day planner type calendar for him to put the stickers to or they will end up EVERYWHERE.
If that doesn't work, tell him he can no longer go anyplace fun because they just passed a new "No Diaper" rule.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:55:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He actually turns three tomorrow, and from what I've heard, that's a normal age for boys to be going through potty training.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:53:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i think at 3 years old the little shit's parents should've taught him this already. i can understand maybe bedwetting for a couple more years but if he's not shitting on the pot his parents should make him wear real underwear and then make him clean himself up every time he shits in it. maybe if everyone stops wiping his ass because they're not accidents he'll learn not to shit in his pants.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:49:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lone = learn I assume. But otherwise, yes indeed. It's life skills or as well call it here 'embedded learning.'
All unemployed person should suffer the 'fingernail experience' - whereupon after changing a child's nappy they absently scratch their nose - flinch- then gaze in horror at the foulness now lurking underneath their nails before running screaming to fetch the Ajax for a good scrubbing.
----------
You robbed that off Jack Dee.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:47:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:38:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's good Red, really. It teaches the sponger about responsibility and lends structure, whilst the child learns valuable social skills from dealing with different people. Depending on who you choose to babysit, the kid can also lone valuable survival skills or even very important sexual experience that will be of great benefit providing they don't ever talk about it to anyone, thus triggering the 'shame cycle'.
---
lone = learn I assume. But otherwise, yes indeed. It's life skills or as well call it here 'embedded learning.'
All unemployed person should suffer the 'fingernail experience' - whereupon after changing a child's nappy they absently scratch their nose - flinch- then gaze in horror at the foulness now lurking underneath their nails before running screaming to fetch the Ajax for a good scrubbing.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:47:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
When I was six my family was at my grandparents house, and I reallllly wanted to go home (I forget why), so I lied and said my stomach hurt.
Dad assumed I was constipated, so he gave me some ex-lax.
I assumed it was chocolate.
Man, it was horrible. HOR-RI-BLE!
At least I stopped lying about stomach aches.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:45:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ExLax would only make the kid shit himself more frequently, and messily.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
umm...exlax....duuuuhhhh...
:)
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:38:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's good Red, really. It teaches the sponger about responsibility and lends structure, whilst the child learns valuable social skills from dealing with different people. Depending on who you choose to babysit, the kid can also lone valuable survival skills or even very important sexual experience that will be of great benefit providing they don't ever talk about it to anyone, thus triggering the 'shame cycle'.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:34:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:32:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
I know nothing about kids and I think it's a little unfair to make a 'rape' reference on this post.
----------------------------
Didn't you do a 'Ha Ha Rabbit, rape is for kids!' post a while back?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:34:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:28:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:16:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm now pondering under what circumstances someone could possibly say "excuse me, could you please potty train my child?"
Well, outside of German Shit Porn #]
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
If you're young, have a poor relation with your family (or just a crap family) and have unemployed friends.
---
Howay though. Extended families are one thing, but it's hardly fair to punish your unemployed friends by dumping a stinky kid on them.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:32:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know nothing about kids and I think it's a little unfair to make a 'rape' reference on this post.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:28:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:16:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm now pondering under what circumstances someone could possibly say "excuse me, could you please potty train my child?"
Well, outside of German Shit Porn #]
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
If you're young, have a poor relation with your family (or just a crap family) and have unemployed friends.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:27:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:17:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
First of all, why would you want him to poop on the toilet instead of in it. Second, cut a hole in the back of the diaper and make him sit while wearing a diaper on the toilet.
NICE IDEA!!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:26:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
snaph (or whatever)... I'm "retarded" because I said that people might think it odd for their grandson to come home saying, "Corinne made me walk around naked, booo hoo"?
People have been in trouble for less than that in this Politically Correct American Society.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:20:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh it won't take him long to learn to poo in the toilet but it will take him another 5 years or so to learn how to wipe his own ass.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:18:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:07:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
it's not MY son you fucking moron.
-----
OK, so your ambiguity with relation to who the child belonged to makes me a "fucking moron".
I guess, using your somewhat floored formula here, the fact that you are lacking in the "peanut" department makes you a worthless, whore-faced pig fucker then?
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:18:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Needs less poo.
And tales of parenthood.
And kids.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:17:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
First of all, why would you want him to poop on the toilet instead of in it. Second, cut a hole in the back of the diaper and make him sit while wearing a diaper on the toilet. If not, try the "bad-dog" trick. If he shits in his undies stick his nose in it every time.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:16:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Co nomment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:16:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm now pondering under what circumstances someone could possibly say "excuse me, could you please potty train my child?"
Well, outside of German Shit Porn
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:14:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I've been there and I feel for ya.
I know it's been said a million times, but boys really are much more stubborn than girls when it comes to pooping in the toilet. He'll eventually put it together that if he goes in the toilet, then that means no diaper. Circe did have a good idea with the scheduled pooping and waiting and Bob had a good idea with the reward system (minus the closet). I think if you combined the two ideas, then maybe it would go a little more smoothly. One of my rewards would be going to the store and letting him pick out his own big-boy undies, but hey that's just me.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:14:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I've been there and I feel for ya.
I know it's been said a million times, but boys really are much more stubborn than girls when it comes to pooping in the toilet. He'll eventually put it together that if he goes in the toilet, then that means no diaper. Circe did have a good idea with the scheduled pooping and waiting and Bob had a good idea with the reward system (minus the closet). I think if you combined the two ideas, then maybe it would go a little more smoothly. One of my rewards would be going to the store and letting him pick out his own big-boy undies, but hey that's just me.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:10:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ex-Lax brownies. Works like a champ.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:10:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My dad would beat the hell out of me everytime I shit my pants. Try that!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:09:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:07:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
it's not MY son you fucking moron.
haha Bob, that's sick.
---
Whose kid is it then? I'm telling you there's nothing like a high velocity turd shower to teach the kid some good old fashioned terror.
Submitted by kthsgoodgrl (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:09:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good luck with the whole potty training thing. My brother and sister-in-law had triplet girls. They were a little easier than boys, from what I've heard, but still going through it in triplicate was rough. Hope you make it out with your sanity intact.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:09:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Welcome to the wonderful world of potty training. Girls are much easier than boys. It takes some time, but the first time he actually goes in the toilet will seal the deal. It takes some time, just keep doing what you are doing, read a book to him while on the john. Anything that makes him sit a little longer.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:09:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if it would work on kids, but when you have kittens that are too young to leave their mother you have to rub thei-
Uuh, yeah. Nevermind.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:08:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:01:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
With peeing we always do the whole "YAY YOU DID IT!!" and run around the house telling everyone... and with poop I tell him he can have pudding after he poops. We've been witholding the pudding for a few weeks, and he REALLY wants some, but it's not working as of yet.
Maybe I'll talk his dad into pooping in front of him. I don't want to have to answer questions like, "Corinne, where is your peanut?"
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SERIOUSLY consider putting him up for adoption. 13 year olds should NOT have children in their care.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:07:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"My peanut is leaking!!! YAY!"
===============
fucking hysterical.
give him some ex-lax. he won't have a choice.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:07:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it's not MY son you fucking moron.
haha Bob, that's sick.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:06:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Try letting him shock you, or the family pet, with a cattle prod every time he goes on the toilet. That'll learn him real quick.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:05:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post fucking annoyed me. If he had any brains, he'd shit in his hand and wipe it all over your face while you slept.
That would be reward enough in itself.
"It did cross my mind that it would sound bad if the boy went to daycare or grandmas house saying, "Corinne made me walk around naked!", but I hope they'd understand. "
Please! Are these people fucking retarded? They must be if you think that's the way they'll react to you toilet training your son.
Consider putting up for adoption, just to make sure he gets the best possible chance at life. Poor cunt.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:05:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Put a Baby Ruth in the bowl and pick it out and eat it in front of him. Thouroughly clean the commode first. As you're eating it, make comments like "Mmmmm. This poop sure is tasty! Want a bite?"
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:03:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Poo in your hand and throw it at him really hard everytime he shits himself. This will teach him the lesson of terror and ducking.
Once you've taught him terror, then order him to crap in the correct place unless he wants a fresh load.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:01:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I feel your pain. My wife and I are going through this right now with The Boy. And with The Girl set to arrive any day now, it's looking like that's going to delay things even further.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:01:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Use a negative stimulus every time he does it in his diaper or pants and reward him with M&M's when he does it in the toilet. The extreme opposites should break him quickly. Nothing extreme though, just a 9 volt battery on his tongue or a punch in the face. You know, simple stuff.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:01:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
With peeing we always do the whole "YAY YOU DID IT!!" and run around the house telling everyone... and with poop I tell him he can have pudding after he poops. We've been witholding the pudding for a few weeks, and he REALLY wants some, but it's not working as of yet.
Maybe I'll talk his dad into pooping in front of him. I don't want to have to answer questions like, "Corinne, where is your peanut?"
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:01:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you should poop on his face, then throw him in the toilet. He'll get the idea.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:00:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am so not having kids.
Tell him that if he doesn't make the proper jump to crapping in the toilet he's going to end up anal retentive.
meaning that, he'll end up an accountant or worse, an actuary when he grows up
Submitted by the_cole_guy (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:00:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Tell him that big boys poop in the toilet and only babies poop in diapers. He won't want to be called a baby and will start droppin the duce like a real man.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-01-26 11:00:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Relevant poo smearing linkwhore.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82053
And what Berty said.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-01-26 10:59:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Beat the ever-loving holy fuck out of him.
If that doesn't work, give him an enema.
If THAT doesn't work, kill him.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-26 10:58:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Poo in front of him, he'll then accept that it's ok.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-26 10:58:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Set up a reward system. If he drops a deuce on the can, he can do something fun - like not get locked in the closet.