Nam (884 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.4 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Katie Arentz (View user info) at 2006-01-26 16:42:58 EST
The only REAL war. Since the twins has been writing about wars, I figured I should too.
Rohanda and I were stationed in Nam in '92. We had to fight the Nazi's and Namineze. Hard war, it was. We killed some Charlies and also so babies too. Never can trust those babies, they're heartless bastards..kill ya in a second. Anyway, we fought with all we had. Lost our whole platoon in a skirmish. Namineze jumped out of the trees...in tanks. Big scary tanks with tigers eating U.S. flags on the side. I realized then muffins are superior to brownies. Rhonda had a big gun while I had my sword. We killed around 8,000 of them fuckers. They killed our whole platoon. Never could forgive my self for letting Mr. Leadpapers die. Died in my arms. Damn fine man.
We dragged ourselves out of the woods to safety. Safety was a cotton field where slaves we working. kelly gave us some chicken and water. She was all out of Kewl-aid. Damn Nazi's took it all!! All that Kewl-aid just GONE. Kelly knitted us some new suits out of that cotton. Strong girl, that Kelly.
After the war, Rhonda always had knee problems (from the bay of pigs.) Kelly lost her tanned skin and looks white. Believe you and me, though, she's as black as black shoepolish. Me, Im just fucked up in general. All because we fought for your freedom. Some people try to say there were other wars; WWI and WWII, War of 1812, Revolutionary War, etc. Thats bullshit. Nam is the only war as far as Im concerned.
Moral of the story: Kill all the babies you can.
R.I.P. Mr. Leadpapers
User Reviews
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-01-30 23:42:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're such a weird fucker.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-01-27 21:36:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Namineze jumped out of the trees...in tanks
hahahaahah
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-01-27 18:59:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you don't think this is funny, you are unallowed to have an opinion on humor.
That is all.
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2006-01-27 18:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i didnt even attempt to read this horrid tale of lonliness.
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2006-01-27 18:24:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
crap
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-01-27 07:08:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Not good
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-01-26 22:18:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We was always looking for some guy named Charly. We never did find him.
Lieutenant Dan was always telling us to get down and shut up.
"GET DOWN! SHUT UP!"
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2006-01-26 19:45:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
never get off the fucking boat
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-01-26 19:11:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-26 16:44:05 (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad
Submitted by JMS (user info) at 2006-01-26 17:00:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-01-26 16:53:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LMAO That was the most rambunctious piece of shit ive ever read in my life.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-26 16:48:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
KEEP THE DRIVE AT 1.5! (say it out loud, it rhymes)
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-01-26 16:48:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
weird
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-26 16:45:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
don't forget, them gooks like to hide in tunnels, too.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-01-26 16:44:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU WOULDN'T LAST A DAY IN NAM
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-26 16:44:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad