-Steve Martin, "Dicks are life, Eat life" Biography (633 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1.58 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by 12 oz. Jesus (View user info) at 2006-01-26 18:17:31 EST
Martin was born to 2 gay scottish immigrants that weren't funny; the family was of English, Irish, Scottish and Welsh and Space Fag descent. As a teenager, Martin started out working at the Magic Shop at Sam's hyper Fag Land For young unfunny Gays and excelled, where he developed his talents for cock juggling, playing the banjo, and creating balloon animals that no one liked. He teamed up with friend and high school classmate: a pile of poop to do a musical comedy routine, performing at local coffee houses and at the Bird Cage Theater in Knott's Ass Berry Farm. Martin attended Santa Ana College at the same time as actress Diane Keaton. He got pushed regularly.
Martin majored in just being a dork at California State University, Long Beach, but dropped out. Nevertheless, his time there changed his life:
"At college I sucked a lot of hard sloppy cocks. They were harder and longer than high school and taster! This is when my gayness took full alarm if you will. I sucked cock with my breakfast! I did a report on Shakespeare and the last sentence was about me sucking dicks for fun and getting pelted with Pepsi cans! THEY WERE STEEL BACK THEN! I failed and moved back with my space fag parents who hated my unfunny guts. I got a job giving surveys and handjobs. College was it man!"-Steve Martin
Martin's boyfriend in 1967 was a dancer on the streets and helped Martin land a job wrapping his hand around dicks. Along with the other degenerates, Martin won a Herpes Award in 1969 and his weiner swelled up. Martin also wrote for John Denver (a neighbor of his in Aspen, Colorado at one point), The Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour, and The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour. He also appeared on these shows, and numerous others, in numerous comedy skits. None were funny.
Martin also performed his own material, sometimes as an opening act for groups such as [Huey Lewis and the News] and Some gay bum. He continued to write, earning an Emmy nomination for his work on I learned how to work a cock from my space mom in 1975.
Chronology:
-Steve born to suck dicks
-Martin and cocks, its not like he didn't eat um
-Steve martin and cock overdose; early puberty
-Anal backup, to many dicks at once, a leason learned
-Steve Martin are you gonna finish that, the homeless struggle years aka my street wide cock rampage
-Martin and dicks livin in the fast lane; early 20's
-How much cum do you have in there! Steve Martin the full tummy years
-Steve Martin and SNL how to suck dick to get on TV
-Steve Martin, "Dicks are life, Eat life"
-Steve martin, traffic violations or how to blow cops and not get out of tickets
-Steve martin, "I'm not funny, crying into penises"
-Martin and death "kill me I'm a waste"
-Martin's Tombstone (near future) reads: He sucked a lot of dicks that were funnier than his
-Martin why dancing isn't funny and I suck Huge!
http://captainfoamy.com
Steve Martin You ARE a Jerk!
User Reviews
Submitted by bento (user info) at 2006-01-26 23:35:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i met steve martin once. he tod me his parents were space fags, then he said bye. i hate steve martin.
Submitted by bento (user info) at 2006-01-26 22:39:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stev Martin isn't funny
Submitted by bento (user info) at 2006-01-26 18:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah sometime people that love dick don't think its funny cause they are to busy thinkning about black penis to get all the jokes
about penis
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-01-26 18:51:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This wasn't funny.
Submitted by bento (user info) at 2006-01-26 18:47:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You're obviously from that place where awesome means dick
whats your name again
Submitted by bento (user info) at 2006-01-26 18:46:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sir I am better and will always be better.
cyber flex
your all "look at his muscles"
i'm all "thats right"
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-01-26 18:45:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
God damn -1 was too nice.
Better luck next time.
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-01-26 18:43:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You're worse than me, yet your name is cooler, so -1.
Submitted by bento (user info) at 2006-01-26 18:39:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No i didn't
Shlongy you left your underwear in my hot tub you fat sexy old faggot
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-26 18:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's an idea.
Suck MY dick.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-01-26 18:29:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Did you just give yourself a 2?
Submitted by bento (user info) at 2006-01-26 18:23:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sir I modestly disagree
poop
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-01-26 18:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You save yourself from a -2 because of the pepsi cans. Not very original. You made it clear that he's gay.
You could have summed up this article pretty easily.
Steve martin sucks cock and got pepsi cans thrown at him in school. For that you would have gotten the same score in alot less time.
Submitted by bento (user info) at 2006-01-26 18:19:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck I liked it!