Why am I such a psycho? (624 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.58 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by montague.h.withnail.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2006-01-27 07:45:48 EST
Hi all.
I would consider myself to be a pretty nice person on the whole. I'm honest, kind, considerate, conscientous, respectful etc. I don't litter. I give blood. I'm tolerant of other people's opinions and beliefs. Blah blah blah.
But I have one serious problem - I am irrationally irritated by people, mainly the noises they make. For the last three days I've been on the verge of going postal on the guy sat opposite me at work. He has some kind of throat problem right now, and about every 10 seconds he makes this little throat-clearing sound, and about every minute or so there is a sudden burst of sudden and explosive coughing that makes me jump every time.
Many of these things evoke a surging and powerful rage within me, especially eating noises. My mother eating peanuts, my flatmate chewing gum with his mouth open, my friend eating soup and banging his teeth together. I see red every time.
Even my 3 year old nephew. When he starts grizzling and whining, I get a pang of anger, albeit slightly reduced by the fact that he is so young. 3 years old for fuck's sake. What is wrong with me? I don't like this ugly trait.
I get this from my father. I can recall countless occasions when he kicked the shit out of me for crunching a fucking Murray mint.
So I guess I'm basically trying to share and halve my problem by seeing if anyone else suffers from this, and also to see if anyone has any suggestions on what I can do to help it.
User Reviews
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-12-12 05:29:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
People are irritating for all kinds of reasons.
For example - I find negative people irritating.
Just sayin'.
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-01-27 14:59:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because i just got over a nasty respiratory infection and i had really plegmy coughs for about a month.
sorry. i hate it too
Submitted by digdug (user info) at 2006-01-27 13:53:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heres a hint:
Invest in a nice bong.
Buy some pot.
Smoke it.
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2006-01-27 11:03:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahh, this exercise has made me feel much better. It's nice to know there are kindred spirits out there. Thank you all.
Yes headphones are a godsend - I never leave home without my trusty CD player. And luckily I can listen to them most of the time at work.
But I'm sure someone up there hates me: I've just been listening to some Hendrix, and I just noticed that halfway through "If 6 was 9" he does this spoken bit, and you can clearly hear him masticating a wad of gum.
Will we never be set free?
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-01-27 10:59:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can totally feel your pain. Really believe me. Just before I was siting in the bus with this motherfucker behind me making occasional hissing sounds. I can't stand normal people with such ticks. And if I get onto public transport in the morning and have to listen to some idiotic conversation between idiotic people I could go kamikaze. I will one day.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-27 10:37:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-01-27 10:25:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate eating noises, swallowing noises, scratching noises, sniffing, coughing, loud breathing, and throat clearing. Kids learn real fast not to develop that high pitched whine around me. There's a certain type of Aussie accent that's nasal and raw and I fucking hate it.
I've found covering up the sound works - tap your fingers on the table, hum quietly, talk, or simply leave the area; for work, wear earphones and listen to music maybe?
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And glance up into the slackjawed bastard's dead eyes while yet another load of sputum is distributed hither and thither?
I'm gonna get them muzzles.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-01-27 10:25:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate eating noises, swallowing noises, scratching noises, sniffing, coughing, loud breathing, and throat clearing. Kids learn real fast not to develop that high pitched whine around me. There's a certain type of Aussie accent that's nasal and raw and I fucking hate it.
I've found covering up the sound works - tap your fingers on the table, hum quietly, talk, or simply leave the area; for work, wear earphones and listen to music maybe?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-27 10:14:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's all go round to Berty's house when he's eating and throw things at him until he learns proper manners.
Submitted by SamsArmy (user info) at 2006-01-27 10:11:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, I've got the same problem with the fucker sitting to the right of me. He has this ridiculously deep, phlemgy cough that sounds like Satan sodomizing Louis Armstrong. As if that weren't enough, the old lady next to me has come in the past three days with a cold that's only getting worse. If that cunt gets me sick...
Anyway, empathy +2.
Submitted by sheckynecky (user info) at 2006-01-27 10:07:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, I know it is what they are for, but dirty napkins disgust me. I am a careful eater and will use a napkin somewhat, but it still remains in napkin shape and I can usually fold it to a clean side when I am done. I say "yucky" to a misshappen fouled napkin perched atop the rent apart remains of a meal. Yucky, I say.
Submitted by sheckynecky (user info) at 2006-01-27 09:57:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have this same exact problem. I also wonder why can't I just not be freaking out when someone is slurping their soup, or something similar. It wouldn't be so bad, but people that eat like that do it every single time. Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp. A slurp or two here or there, no prob. A open mouth smack every so often, no biggie. But for heavens sake, how can people make so much noise the entire fucking time they are eating. How can you not notice that? Is there an oblivious to disgusting noises gene or what. Its maddening. I'm with you, and I don't know what to do about it either. Various responses I've gotten when I mentioned it include none and no change or being told to lighten up and no change. Its a losing battle. You are cursed.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-01-27 09:29:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just go Batshit every now and then, it makes you feel so much better
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-27 08:54:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-27 07:58:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Another sign of good mental health. You're not afraid of others judging you.
That's a lie. I'm terrified of others judging me, I can never eat in public. At lunch time at work I lock myself in the toilets and eat there. I won't eat in the front room unless my housemates wear blindfolds.
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Potentially that could be the worst sin of all. Sitting on the the Thomas Crapper, with your mouth open - eating and pooing away - while your mouth remains resolutely open. While you lick your lips.
And masturbate.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-27 07:58:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another sign of good mental health. You're not afraid of others judging you.
That's a lie. I'm terrified of others judging me, I can never eat in public. At lunch time at work I lock myself in the toilets and eat there. I won't eat in the front room unless my housemates wear blindfolds.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-27 07:56:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-27 07:54:08 (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck you Red, chewing with your mouth open is a sign of good mental health.
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It's like people who keep their mouths open. WHY? Is it an evolutionary advantage - a way of getting food in your mouth just that little bit quicker?
Also - doesn't it make you more windy? I'm gonna say so.
It's like shitting while leaving the door open on the cubicle.
Possibly
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-27 07:54:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck you Red, chewing with your mouth open is a sign of good mental health.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-27 07:51:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Listen up Monty. People who eat with their mouths open are evil scum, and burning is NOT PUNISHMENT ENOUGH.
How many times has some old woman with false teeth sat behind me on the bus and sucked a sweet loudly just behind me ear.
It's enough to make me wish I was American so I could have a gun - shoot her in the face til she lay there twitching and cooling slowly - before I went to work as a lumberjack. Fucking beavers.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-27 07:49:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You know in that whole "I don't really enjoy sex. Maybe it's because my brothers gang raped me for 12 years and said I was unclean?"
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-27 07:48:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I get this from my father. I can recall countless occasions when he kicked the shit out of me for crunching a fucking Murray mint.
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If this was a joke it was pretty funny.