Bowling with nit-wits (504 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.63 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by towed88 (View user info) at 2006-01-29 08:54:31 EST
Guten Tag, Good morning... *sigh* whatever...
Its about 7:30, I'm at work, and hung over... God I'm stupid...
Last night wasn't really even worth it to be honest... I got drunk for free but it was with loser assholes from work so it really shouldn't count... As a matter of fact I think its unfair to get a hangover after a work function... Drinking is my way of coping with the idiots I'm forced to call co-workers so why the fuck should I then be punished even further by getting a splitting headache in addition to wasting a perfectly good evening bowling with my boss?
It was our Holiday party...
And I have 2 big problems with that... One: I won't get into the Holiday vs X-mas debate. Its a X-mas party get over yourselves...
Two: Its January...
So anyways, I suck at bowling... I think anyone with 3/4 of a functioning brain automatically sucks at bowling... That must be why my co-workers are all fucking pro-bowlers... Its either that or they all spend so much time at the bowling alley drinking beer (not bad) Smoking Cigarettes (also not bad) and rolling a heavy ball down a wooden lane to knock over some fucking pins for hours an hours on end that they've actually gotten good at something other then finding new and creative ways to make me want to take a rusty hacksaw blade to my wrists.
I show up at 8:45 get my shoes, find a ball that my fingers don't get stuck in after some difficulty.
The problem with finding a alley ball is simple, anything less than 12 pounds has finger holes for a 10 year old girl. And every other ball weighs 2500 pounds and has been drilled so Bigfoot can jam his hairy fingers into the holes. Since I'm not a 10 year old girl, and last I checked I wasn't big foot it leaves me it kinda screwed. Also I don't know bout y'all but I really don't enjoy the concept of lobbing a 16 pound ball down the lane at least 36 times (we played 3 games) or at most since I suck a whopping 63 times! Simple math tells us that over the course of the evening throwing 500 pounds if you're really good or over 1000 pounds if you suck like I do. Think about that. And people do this shit for fun?
Bowling is like golf in the fact that no matter how bad you are at it you still get fucking furious when you demonstrate that in front of an audience. I don't golf, tried it a few times but I had a tendency to put the ball pretty much everywhere but the 'Fairway', the 'green', or god forbid, the fucking 'hole'. I bowl like I golf. I put that 16 pound cannon ball everywhere but the middle of the lane partly becuase I'll be honest it was too fucking heavy, and I have almost no coordination and have a hell of a time keeping my goddamn wrist straight long enough to send the fucking ball down the lane the same way twice. Of course it doesn't help that all my wonderful co-workers must have been born in bowling alleys because not only are they all missing teeth, but they all have $500 balls and shoes and gloves and rags to wipe thier balls etc etc ETC....
So I'll admit, I got drunk... Which really is all there is to do in this town anyway... The only thing that made the evening bearable in addition to the booze of course is the fact that all the 18-20 year old girls not of age of course to go to a bar are here... Which only depresses the shit out of me because I wish I had figured that about 10 years ago when I was younger, and was on the bowling team at highschool. But then they most likely wouldn't have talked to me anyway...
Bitches!
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-30 18:27:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've read worse...and the title wasn't too shabby.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-30 18:16:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I have my own bowling ball.
It's called the 'Ball Of Ultimate Doom', and it even says so right on it!
Submitted by HillBoyJr (user info) at 2006-01-30 13:27:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"One: I won't get into the Holiday vs X-mas debate. Its a X-mas party get over yourselves.."
i think it's funny that people get out of shape about that but then spell Christmas, X-mas. what is it some kinda EXTREME mass????
no
spell it out.
Submitted by GuinnessSince1759 (user info) at 2006-01-29 20:26:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
idunno why....but just reading this gave me a headache. ugg....I like golf....
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2006-01-29 14:18:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Needs more rape.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-01-29 14:01:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This wasn't *that* bad.
Genko and I went bowling. I lost by one point.
Submitted by belowground (user info) at 2006-01-29 14:00:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I bowl like I golf.
That is to say, I don't. I'm pretty sure the last time I did, I was so hammered that I was sort of lobbing the ball halfway down the lane, as opposed to rolling it from the beginning. I got all kinds of dirty looks, but whatever. I still beat my friends, and that is the important thing.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-01-29 13:52:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Write like you should write, and talk like you should talk, but never write like you talk.
It makes you seem like you have some kind of brain damage.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2006-01-29 13:48:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+0 only because for some reason I thought of the song "Take The Skinheads Bowling" because of this post.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-29 11:09:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
There is no such word as "anyways."
Learn the simple difference between 'then' and 'than'.
Otherwise, the post sucked...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-01-29 09:58:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Last night wasn't really even worth it to be honest..."
Yet you thought a post about it would be? So, you went drunk bowling and nothing happened. It's as if you forgot the second half of your post when you write about the interesting thing that made you post it in the first place. Better luck next time.