Damn noobs, bunnies and Monopoly (688 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.8 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by crazyaardvark (View user info) at 2006-01-30 03:10:25 EST
It's not even SPT, but here I am, a lurker posting my rabid rantings. I've posted before but was drowned in a succession of -2 DIEs. Even the HAR HAR RABBIT posts get better numbers than me.
Damn those bunnies.
But I just can't contain it anymore. I'm sick of noobs. Not Uber noobs, or any sort of internet noob, but airheaded retail work noobs. I have a degree, which is essentially a piece of nice quality paper with a signature from some Vice-Chancellor dude proving that I have two brain cells which can rub together and make a spark.
(Unfortunately, that doesn't mean squat because it was an English degree and I'm now working retail to earn real money so I can travel. They only pay you with Monopoly money in arts jobs because they figure arty people aren't so crash-hot with numbers and reality in general. They also gave me a house, but it was made of green plastic and got stuck in my throat.)
Retail is not my forte. I hate the general public. Anyway, I've been working casually in this job for a year and a half and have outlasted:
2 store owners
3 managers
4 assistant managers
and shitloads of casual staff.
Three new staff started last week ( making a total of 6 staff. 50% of us have worked here for less than a week) and 2 of them are girls under 20 who should be working at McDonalds. I think one of them actually did until her best friend's mum made the manager (her husband) hire her.
The stupidity of these girls is killing me, slowly (and softly). It's not only your common, garden-variety lack of intelligence, but also a lack of initiative. They have to ask about anything, everything. I know they are new, but shit, some things are just common sense.
17 year old noob to me: A customer just asked for a Sony Ericsson J210i on Virgin...
Me: Yes? (I fail to see what this has to do with me)
17 y.o. noob: Do we have any?
Me: Have you looked out the back with the Virgin stock?
17 y.o noob: No. *Stands there looking stupid*
Me: Well, why don't you go look?
17 y.o. noob: Oh.
Come on. Just, please, try to make these leaps of logic. They aren't even leaps. Just little, tiny baby steps. You can do it, come on. Step, step... Oh well, fuck it, they've packed me off to our little kiosk store where I can sit on Uber all day and be rude to the customers without reprisals. Suppose I can't complain.
Oh, wait, I just did.
On a completely unrelated note, my new boyfriends is taking me skydiving for valentine's day. Is that not the best Valentines Day present ever? Screw the stuffed bunnies, bring on 30,000 feet.
Damn bunnies.
User Reviews
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2006-01-31 01:04:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
TheSunGod, I just made up 30,000 feet because it sounded high.
I'm a noob skydiver.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-30 16:11:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
First Rule of N00b Club : Don't talk about N00b Club.
Submitted by Misanthropic (user info) at 2006-01-30 15:56:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-30 07:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-30 07:30:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the effort to curry charity but this bird is in another country. I doubt she's vulnerable enough to send explicit pictures to me either.
---
They have charity abroad too. I bet she would send you a camera phone shot of her breasticlets.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-30 07:30:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the effort to curry charity but this bird is in another country. I doubt she's vulnerable enough to send explicit pictures to me either.
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2006-01-30 07:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
jesus christ! 30000 feet? are you HALO jumping? i thought most recreational jumps were at 15000-20000?
fun post, btw
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-30 06:36:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty also will want an oil change. And probably a hand job. I'm just guessing at the oil change though.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-01-30 06:26:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Berty's phone's dying. Do you mind if he pops round to your shop for a charge and an upgrade?
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-01-30 05:26:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
22327
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-01-30 05:16:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I got taken skydiving for my birthday. It rocks the party that rocks the party. Enjoy it!
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2006-01-30 05:15:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF? Wasn't this posted yesterday??? http://www.ubersite.com/m/81177
Submitted by FistSoup (user info) at 2006-01-30 03:41:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How many new boyfriends do you have? Are they all taking you sky diving? Are you into the group thing? Can I join?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-30 03:35:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Due to the monopoly reference. Clever
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-01-30 03:25:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm pretty much sick of the word "noob." Especially when written as n00b, N0ob, or nüber.