who was a bigger pimp? (641 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.12 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by nahnoneofit (View user info) at 2006-01-30 08:52:15 EST
nahnoneofit: im way too sober right now
TaxiDriverKiller: so go get soused
nahnoneofit: i really only have one option
nahnoneofit: go downtown
nahnoneofit: hope theres a bum around
nahnoneofit: and have him buy me some forties
nahnoneofit: then walk all the way the fuck back home
TaxiDriverKiller: banjo man i sout
TaxiDriverKiller: is out*
nahnoneofit: sweet
nahnoneofit: but still
nahnoneofit: its a walk
nahnoneofit: a walk i dont want to walk
TaxiDriverKiller: ok
TaxiDriverKiller: so
nahnoneofit: and thats iffy
TaxiDriverKiller: make rock candy instead
nahnoneofit: cause there might nt be anyone out
nahnoneofit: ...rock candy?
TaxiDriverKiller: you can do it at home
TaxiDriverKiller: and it's delicious
nahnoneofit: hahahaha
nahnoneofit: that girl i work with wants to put it in my ass
TaxiDriverKiller: excuse me?
TaxiDriverKiller: put *what* in your ass?
nahnoneofit: y'know
nahnoneofit: it
TaxiDriverKiller: no
nahnoneofit: she wants to do me
TaxiDriverKiller: i don't know what a girl would have that could go iny our ass that would qualify as an 'it'
nahnoneofit: enlarged clitoris
TaxiDriverKiller: ewww
nahnoneofit: theres clitoris's out there
nahnoneofit: that are quite capable of penetration
nahnoneofit: how does that make you feel?
TaxiDriverKiller: ...awkward...?
TaxiDriverKiller: chad wallace should fight crime
nahnoneofit: dodo doooooooo
TaxiDriverKiller: who was a bigger pimp, han solo or lando calrissian?
TaxiDriverKiller: i say lando
TaxiDriverKiller: nigga had a cape
TaxiDriverKiller: and a city
nahnoneofit: yea han didnt pimp that much
TaxiDriverKiller: but
TaxiDriverKiller: han did score with a princess
TaxiDriverKiller: and he jacked the millenium falcon off lando
nahnoneofit: oh shit
nahnoneofit: well then yea
nahnoneofit: han pimps more
nahnoneofit: he stole his ride
nahnoneofit: then fucked a hotbitch
TaxiDriverKiller: but lando has the hair and the moustache
nahnoneofit: yea but his shit got jacked
TaxiDriverKiller: he had a cyborg friend he could communicate with without even talking
nahnoneofit: i can see why yuou asked me this
nahnoneofit: this is really hard
nahnoneofit: we need to make a list
TaxiDriverKiller: nigga had a city all to himself
TaxiDriverKiller: and i garauntee he had mirrors on his ceiling
nahnoneofit: but han had chewy
nahnoneofit: lol
TaxiDriverKiller: and a cadillac el dorado somewhere in there
nahnoneofit: how do you garuntee something like that
TaxiDriverKiller: because he was a pimp!
TaxiDriverKiller: not only that
TaxiDriverKiller: but darth vader cut a deal with him, normally vader just kills everybody
TaxiDriverKiller: but lando was so pimpish, vader cut a deal with him
nahnoneofit: lando fucked over his buddy
nahnoneofit: thats not pimpin at all
TaxiDriverKiller: but he did help rescue him later
nahnoneofit: i forgot that part
TaxiDriverKiller: this is a tough call
nahnoneofit: but yes, he did
TaxiDriverKiller: i still say the cape seals it
TaxiDriverKiller: nigga had a cape
TaxiDriverKiller: cape = pimp
nahnoneofit: okay
nahnoneofit: so
nahnoneofit: for hansolos pros
nahnoneofit: we have...
nahnoneofit: stole milleniun falcom fromlando
TaxiDriverKiller: fucked a princess
TaxiDriverKiller: and had chewbacca
TaxiDriverKiller: plus he was a pirate
TaxiDriverKiller: with a shitload of money
nahnoneofit: he didnt have that much money
TaxiDriverKiller: in the first one, the princess gave him a shitload of money for rescuing her
nahnoneofit: oh, right right
nahnoneofit: but
TaxiDriverKiller: he was like
nahnoneofit: his amount of money
TaxiDriverKiller: "bitch where's my money"
nahnoneofit: no matter what point in the movie
nahnoneofit: is nowhere near landos combined commodities's equity
nahnoneofit: movies*
TaxiDriverKiller: this is true
TaxiDriverKiller: i think it's lando
nahnoneofit: well hold your horses a minute
nahnoneofit: im mkaing a chart
nahnoneofit: in paint
nahnoneofit: listing the pros and cons of each
nahnoneofit: so is that it for hans pros?
TaxiDriverKiller: uh
TaxiDriverKiller: he shot darth vader
TaxiDriverKiller: even though vader deflected it with his hands, he still shot at him
nahnoneofit: yea that takes some balls
TaxiDriverKiller: and he went out in the blizzard to find luke
TaxiDriverKiller: and almost died
nahnoneofit: thats shying away from pimpish and going more towards heroism
TaxiDriverKiller: hmmm true
nahnoneofit: arright, cons
nahnoneofit: for han
TaxiDriverKiller: got frozen in a giant hunk of metal
nahnoneofit: k
nahnoneofit: dissed lightsabres
nahnoneofit: hmm
nahnoneofit: this is tough
nahnoneofit: i just went to take a sip of water
nahnoneofit: and there was a moth floating in it
TaxiDriverKiller: oh that's lovely
TaxiDriverKiller: if you're bored, you can make rock candy
TaxiDriverKiller: while watching porn
nahnoneofit: im not making rock candy
TaxiDriverKiller: why not?
TaxiDriverKiller: it's yummy
nahnoneofit: because i dont like rock candy
TaxiDriverKiller: what?!?
TaxiDriverKiller: you're not american
nahnoneofit: lets get back to the matter at hand
TaxiDriverKiller: oooh ooh i got it
nahnoneofit: cons for han
TaxiDriverKiller: ok
TaxiDriverKiller: dissed obi-wan
nahnoneofit: whats so great about obi wan
TaxiDriverKiller: obi-wan is the coolest cat since yoda
nahnoneofit: we gotta get at least one more con for han
TaxiDriverKiller: oooh i got a pro for han
nahnoneofit: okay.
TaxiDriverKiller: int he first one in the garbage compactor
TaxiDriverKiller: he was totally feeling up the princess' ass
TaxiDriverKiller: like
TaxiDriverKiller: hard core
nahnoneofit: haha
nahnoneofit: i dont remember this
TaxiDriverKiller: he was very discreet about it
nahnoneofit: how doy ou discreetley yet hardcoreley feel up someones ass?
TaxiDriverKiller: they filmed it discreetly
TaxiDriverKiller: there was other shit going on, so it was hard to notice
nahnoneofit: k one more con
TaxiDriverKiller: he let the ewoks capture him and almost eat him
nahnoneofit: yea thats pretty unpimp like
nahnoneofit: allright,pros for lando
TaxiDriverKiller: cape
TaxiDriverKiller: hair
TaxiDriverKiller: city
TaxiDriverKiller: mustache
TaxiDriverKiller: he had a friggin entorage
TaxiDriverKiller: cut a deal with vader
TaxiDriverKiller: saved han
nahnoneofit: again with the heroism
TaxiDriverKiller: no no
TaxiDriverKiller: like a pimp he shot at the bad guys while blind
TaxiDriverKiller: no wiat
TaxiDriverKiller: my bad that was han
nahnoneofit: damnit
nahnoneofit: allright
nahnoneofit: cons for lando
TaxiDriverKiller: got jacked out of the falcon
TaxiDriverKiller: sold out his buddy
nahnoneofit: didnt have sex with anyone/anything to our knowledge
TaxiDriverKiller: no
TaxiDriverKiller: but he did put the moves on leia
TaxiDriverKiller: while he was about to sell them out
nahnoneofit: she was a slut
nahnoneofit: anyays
TaxiDriverKiller: so he was smooth even under pressure
nahnoneofit: hahaha
TaxiDriverKiller: ok ok lando con:
TaxiDriverKiller: possibly gay
TaxiDriverKiller: think about
TaxiDriverKiller: it
nahnoneofit: how do you figure?
nahnoneofit: im not putting that in
TaxiDriverKiller: no girlfriend or even a ho
TaxiDriverKiller: he has a city int he pink fluffy clouds
nahnoneofit: he was too much of a pimp for a single girlfriend
TaxiDriverKiller: he has a fashioon sense
TaxiDriverKiller: well
TaxiDriverKiller: every pimp does
nahnoneofit: heynow
nahnoneofit: so do i
nahnoneofit: im saving it the way it is
nahnoneofit wants to directly connect.
TaxiDriverKiller is now directly connected.
TaxiDriverKiller: in return of the jedi he looked like he had hooked up with that alien dude
nahnoneofit:
TaxiDriverKiller: hahaha
TaxiDriverKiller: no way
TaxiDriverKiller: i like cons
TaxiDriverKiller: "got his falcon jacked"
TaxiDriverKiller: does that say
TaxiDriverKiller: "burnt reynolds hair/mustache"
nahnoneofit: yea
TaxiDriverKiller: it's
TaxiDriverKiller: burt
TaxiDriverKiller: not burnt
nahnoneofit: hands move faster then my brain i guess
nahnoneofit: imposting that on ubersite.com
TaxiDriverKiller: give me credit man
TaxiDriverKiller: put both our names on it
nahnoneofit: im putting this convo in there too
TaxiDriverKiller: oh wiat here's one
TaxiDriverKiller: when they freeze han
TaxiDriverKiller: leia says "i love you"
TaxiDriverKiller: and he says "i know"
TaxiDriverKiller: how else would a pimp respond?
nahnoneofit: suck my dick hoe?
User Reviews
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2006-01-31 16:38:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:00:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
i wanted to see if it would do as well as the last time.
not many of my posts get by with a good rating and im trying to figure out what it is about the good posts that makes them good and what about bad ones makes them bad.
i wanna be funny and witty goddamnit.
----------------------
The only reason the first post ended up being so good was because me and stevie carried it.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-01-30 19:42:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
nobody gives a shit about your ten-page AIM conversation -2 DIE.
but +1 for the chart
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2006-01-30 19:23:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and youre welcome for reminding you of it so you could laugh again you simple fuckheads
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-30 16:02:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2006-01-30 08:53:56 (#)
Ranking: -2
This was funny the first time you posted it...
Submitted by Kidmc (user info) at 2006-01-30 10:42:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 Jabba`s the biggest pimp simple.
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-01-30 10:38:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Did I really just read "Burnt Reynolds style..."? Just making sure.
You get a zero, because I will not rate negative today because of the garbage I just posted.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-01-30 10:33:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
get a life
or at the very least get of the internet
"Who's the bigger pimp" I mean really who the fuck cares
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-01-30 10:28:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-01-30 10:04:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Was good. As good as the 1st time.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:56:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:45:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you're resume is laid out like that table, you must be flipping burgers.
Submitted by Tracer0351 (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:39:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, someone has way to much time on their hands. Lando is the PIMP DADDY!
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:32:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah, also be sure to say if some/all of your content is not your own work.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:31:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Step 1: You are not funny and witty.
Step 2: put plenty of stuff into each post, diagrams get bonus points for effort from many people.
Step 3: an amusing picture at the end of a post never does any harm, unless its one everybodys seen a thousand times already
Step 4: Don't post something thats already been posted. The only exceptions to this rule are the Emu and the 'I bought 500 monkeys' story.
Step:5 If in doubt put a list of email-esque jokes at the end as well as the pic. Do not get all the jokes from one source, find two or three lists of relatively fresh ones and use the best few of each.
Works for me.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:20:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your mom.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:14:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus was the greatest pimp of them all.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:13:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2006-01-30 08:53:56 (#)
Ranking: -2
This was funny the first time you posted it...
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:13:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a dork for knowing this but Han won the Falcon in a game of Sabaac (a card game). He didn't steal it, it was a bet. You missed the con where Calrissian had that ass-faced guy as his co-pilot in Return of the Jedi.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:12:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was posted here before.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:06:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your fat ass mom, fucker.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:03:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Voltage - funny, because as soon as I read the title for this post I thought to myself "whatever it's about, I'm going to review it with 'Jesus, of course...obviously'"
-2 repost
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:01:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My God you guys are nerds...
And anyway, everyone knows Jabba the Hut was the biggest pimp in the series...
That's why Notorious B.I.G. modeled his whole career after him.
You guys should be castrated with a fork.
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:00:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i wanted to see if it would do as well as the last time.
not many of my posts get by with a good rating and im trying to figure out what it is about the good posts that makes them good and what about bad ones makes them bad.
i wanna be funny and witty goddamnit.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-01-30 09:00:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That might just be my favourite post evar.
cape = pimp
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-01-30 08:58:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
why is this out again??
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2006-01-30 08:55:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
its a repost.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-30 08:55:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What teh ghey? I'm not reading all that.
You forgot, Jesus is the original pimp.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2006-01-30 08:53:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was funny the first time you posted it...