A Warning (650 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.8 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DaWoiks (View user info) at 2006-01-30 21:35:56 EST
I walked into the shower holding the newly bought bottle of shampoo. Little did I know that this particular, innocent looking, bottle meant business...BIG TIME!
Progressing through my shower routine of masturbation, soap, then shampoo it became time to take hold of the bottle that would rock my world.
My eyes rolled lazily towards the bottle which sat menacingly on the shower shelf. My hand reached towards it. I should have noticed that the bottle had grown to the size of a NFL regulation sized football, but the hangover lingering from the night before had overtaken my better judgement.
Before popping the top to indulge in some "herbal essance" style action, I happened to glance at the back of the bottle. It became apparent to me at this point that this shampoo had me all figured out, and it wasn't going to stand for my shit.
FACT:
The first word sent me reeling like I had been punched in the face.
YOU HAVE HAIR THAT NEEDS...
I was clinging to every word.
REFRESHING.
It was here that I realized why the bottle I was holding had balooned to the size of a 2 liter. It was filled.....with assertiveness.
Yes friends, this shampoo bottle isn't going to be short changed. You are not going to sit in this mother fuckers seat and get away with it. Oh no, if you think you can use this shampoo as your bitch, than you are wrong...dead wrong.
Upon opening Pandora's Box, I was tossed like a rag doll through the glass door. What followed was a flurry of refreshing punches that damn near shattered my jaw. Lying on the floor of my bathroom, naked, crying, and bleeding, it was made very clear to me that we were not through yet.
What followed is hazy, all I can remember is that at somepoint my Pert Plus used me to shampoo IT'S hair.
I sit here a wiser man. I offer this warning to you...never..NEVER think for one god damned second that you are strong enough to go balls for balls against shampoo this assertive. You'll only get hurt.
User Reviews
Submitted by paulblakeford (user info) at 2006-03-24 17:21:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-31 19:04:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
bmp
jeebus
crying
etc etc
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-31 08:45:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It is a rather awful post. Ten out of ten for effort though.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-01-31 08:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry...this was really terrible.
Rework it, add more plot, and it'll get at least a 0.
Submitted by Tyrone_Washington (user info) at 2006-01-30 23:08:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I prefer a Singapore shower.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-01-30 22:58:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I shave my head. Fuck those shampoo manufacturing fascist pigs.
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-01-30 22:15:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heres a 2 to cheer you up.
Don't try so hard, you came off like Maddox if he screamed all the time and had a Meth Problem.
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-01-30 22:11:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh. You could have promise, if you stop trying. But I could be horribly mistaken.
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2006-01-30 22:03:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bubba has been on the biggest negative rating kick lately
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-01-30 21:59:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This sucks big donkey balls. . .
Submitted by GuinnessSince1759 (user info) at 2006-01-30 21:52:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
seriously...no.
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-01-30 21:40:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You tried too hard. -1
And you posted a .bmp, if I get flamed for this, so do you. -1
Submitted by RonArtestPunch (user info) at 2006-01-30 21:37:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shit, i forgot to change that to a jpg..my b yo