Undisputable Truths and Other Ramblings (1028 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.72 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rawrg (View user info) at 2006-01-31 23:13:52 EST
Chances are, if you've hired someone to remodel your home, they've masturbated in your bathroom out of boredom.
Why is it that the most capable people are usually the ones not doing anything?
I didn't even like the first girl I kissed, I was only making sure that I didn't like the cock.
I have yet to see a stereotype not ring true for at least 70% of whatever it's referring to.
I'd have a really bad gambling problem if I had access to more money.
On average, if left to my own devices at my job, I'd say I really only work about 3 hours a day.
Sometimes I pray for the apocalypse, because then I'd get to wear shoulder pads all day long.
I wish I could honestly say I'm not a sexist pig, but American women keep giving me reasons to believe that they are generally inferior.
When my first girlfriend left me I was shocked at her newfound sense of independence... until I found out about the guy she blew.
Alright dear, I'm going to refuse to hold you accountable for your actions or challenge your deluded conclusions and save you the trouble of manipulating me into thinking I'm somehow wrong here.
The people I sleep with aren't necessarily a reflection of myself, only how limited my courtship and flirting skills are.
The moment you stop taking shit from someone is the moment you could care less if you ever saw them again.
If everyone knew everyone's secrets, society wouldn't be able to witch hunt people left and right and we'd be free to tell the truth about ourselves every now and then.
Minorities don't need to hang on to their roots, all it does is alienate them from society and hold them back while making the people in power resent them. I don't know who instilled this archaic belief in them, but when I find those responsible, I'm going to shoot them in their genitals. If you woke up tomorrow and forgot how to speak Swahili, paint a dot on your face or how to make your car look absolutely ridiculous, would your world really come crashing down around you? Find an identity other than people who look like you.
The birth control pill works better if you believe in it, kind of like religion. I don't know why...
According to the friendly Christians that came to my door the other day, I'll go to hell because I don't accept Jesus as my savior, yet a blithering sociopath who believes in Jesus simply out of fear of retribution is granted eternal happiness in Heaven... Maybe Satan left God's side out of confusion.
I asked for proof of Heaven and Hell once from a Christian and he said that it had to exist, it was in the Bible. I declined and one upped him to show him proof of Middle Earth and Hobbits on DVD.
Despite the contradictions I find in religion, I am genuinely happy when someone finds faith. I wish that I could believe and feel such omnipotent confidence as well.
It is possible that God doesn't exist. Athiests rarely take into account that it is equally possible that God does.
People that sneer at religion with the mocking shit eating grin of a grade school bully are often guilty of mindless goose stepping to the beat of someone else's drum.
Death is death, it is unaffected by innocence, vengeance or any judicial orientation, nor are our personal feelings of loss.
People that oppose abortion and support the war in Iraq probably aren't practicing objective thought.
People that oppose the war in Iraq and support abortion rights probably aren't practicing it either.
If you believe what the government, media, your significant other, your children, your friends and family, your employer etc tells you... you probably also believe you're really on top of things.
There are a lot of lazy, stupid worthless people out there. However, no one would know if you'd just shut the fuck up.
...
Obviously it's too late for me.
User Reviews
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-02-09 03:30:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Gah, your fucking blabbering makes me want to cut out my eyeballs with a butter knife. I wish I had a dozen eyes so I could do it twelve times over. I've never genuinely hated what a stranger wrote on the Internet until there was you, congratulations. I can just tell that you're one of those people who, under his disappearing-reappearing veil of self-loathing, thinks he's wiser than his peers. In reality he's a pretentious, oblivious shithead full of fluffed up empty thoughts and half-baked theories. And a closeted homosexual, but that's okay.
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-02-01 17:58:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Mrdurden24 (user info) at 2006-02-01 17:53:06 (#)
Ranking: -2
"it is possible god doesn't exist. equally possible he does"
Now ask yourself Which theory offers more proof.. Science and cold hard facts that have been tested time and again or wishful thinging by ignorant sheep?
I mean really look at your life and ask yourself Do I have any reason whatsoever to believe in god? you'll find the answer is NO
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What type of science is "cold hard facts", and HOW does science prove there is no god?
What proof is there to say God didn't create the world to evolve?
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-02-01 17:54:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It is possible that God doesn't exist. Athiests rarely take into account that it is equally possible that God does.
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They also never take into account that the belief in no religion IS a religion...therefore making them self loathing hypocrites.
Submitted by Mrdurden24 (user info) at 2006-02-01 17:53:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"it is possible god doesn't exist. equally possible he does"
Now ask yourself Which theory offers more proof.. Science and cold hard facts that have been tested time and again or wishful thinging by ignorant sheep?
I mean really look at your life and ask yourself Do I have any reason whatsoever to believe in god? you'll find the answer is NO
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-01 17:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well, well, Rawrgy McRawrgerson, where have you been?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-01 12:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Despite the contradictions I find in religion, I am genuinely happy when someone finds faith. I wish that I could believe and feel such omnipotent confidence as well."
Well said.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-01 12:15:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rantastic
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-02-01 12:11:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2006-02-01 12:07:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-02-01 08:43:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
I find it hard to believe that someone is more bitter than I am...but after reading this, I would have to say that you've got me beat by a long shot.
Don't worry...you'll snap out of it someday.
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I don't know what to say, it's been a bad month?
Submitted by U927 (user info) at 2006-02-01 11:08:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:35:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
It is also equally possible that the universe was created by a invisible pink unicorn.
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BLASPHEMY!
It is quite obvious you have not been touched by His Noodly appendage. Once you realize the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the light and way of the Universe, you shall gain enlightenment and join us in Heaven, where beer volcanoes and stripper factories are in abundant supply.
WWFSMD?
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2006-02-01 10:37:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
8 different kinds of awesome.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-02-01 09:10:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
have you been smoking drugs?
I wish I could honestly say I'm not a sexist pig, but American women keep giving me reasons to believe that they are generally inferior.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-02-01 09:00:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The people I sleep with aren't necessarily a reflection of myself, only how limited my courtship and flirting skills are.
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I thought it was also a reflection of how much I drank.
Doesn't matter if they are American, European, or Asian...you will come to the same conclusion.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-02-01 08:43:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I find it hard to believe that someone is more bitter than I am...but after reading this, I would have to say that you've got me beat by a long shot.
Don't worry...you'll snap out of it someday.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-02-01 07:26:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2006-02-01 06:20:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't get it :(
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-01 06:18:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-01 06:00:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MavisMing (user info) at 2006-02-01 05:46:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes I pray for the apocalypse, because then I'd get to wear shoulder pads all day long.
gold
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The population is greatly decreased
and now the odds are mostly increased
that I may, someday get a chance
to kiss your lips
I thank the loooord each day
for the apocalypse.
Chitlins Whiskey and Skirt - I haven't played Full Throttle in bloody years
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That game was legend! That song was brilliant.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-01 06:00:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MavisMing (user info) at 2006-02-01 05:46:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes I pray for the apocalypse, because then I'd get to wear shoulder pads all day long.
gold
---
The population is greatly decreased
and now the odds are mostly increased
that I may, someday get a chance
to kiss your lips
I thank the loooord each day
for the apocalypse.
Chitlins Whiskey and Skirt - I haven't played Full Throttle in bloody years
Submitted by MavisMing (user info) at 2006-02-01 05:46:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes I pray for the apocalypse, because then I'd get to wear shoulder pads all day long.
gold
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-02-01 05:38:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There are a lot of lazy, stupid worthless people out there. However, no one would know if you'd just shut the fuck up.
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Thank you very much
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-02-01 05:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just emailed these to a couple of friends because they were really appropriate.
Yes, I gave you full credit.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2006-02-01 05:30:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I will be stealing a few of these.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-01 05:14:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice enough.
Mr T is getting on my tits now.
Submitted by Mr_T (user info) at 2006-02-01 05:06:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2006-02-01 01:40:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
Abraham Lincoln once said, "It is better to be silent and be thought a fool rather than to open your mouth and prove it." or something to that affect...
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Shut up foo'!
Mr T got lots of rules.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-02-01 05:01:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"The people I sleep with aren't necessarily a reflection of myself, only how limited my courtship and flirting skills are.
The moment you stop taking shit from someone is the moment you could care less if you ever saw them again."
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These two lines smacked me right between the eyes.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-01 04:57:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are we all reading the same stuff? I thought it was rather trite.
Submitted by RamenNoodle (user info) at 2006-02-01 03:19:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2006-02-01 02:20:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"When my first girlfriend left me I was shocked at her newfound sense of independence... until I found out about the guy she blew."
... reminds me of the girlfriend who dropped me because she needed time alone and had to regain her independence; She had a new and steady boyfriend within 2 weeks.
I also enjoy: "I just want to be friends." (maybe the ultimate (I'm dropping you) line of all time.
A few years later, I learned that the problems and conflicts of being single pale in comparison to problems and strife from being in a bad relationship. I developed more of a "good-bye and good riddance" philosophy; Ironically, this seemed to attract more babes than before. Strange world.
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I liked this. Not your best... but good enough.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-02-01 01:43:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-02-01 01:43:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rawr!
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2006-02-01 01:40:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Abraham Lincoln once said, "It is better to be silent and be thought a fool rather than to open your mouth and prove it." or something to that affect...
Submitted by turkishblend (user info) at 2006-02-01 01:39:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I have yet to see a stereotype not ring true for at least 70% of whatever it's referring to"
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I am a democratic/libertarian who utterly abhors racism and believes in affirmative action yet I cannot help but give you a +2 if only because I feel exactly the same way.
Submitted by GuinnessSince1759 (user info) at 2006-02-01 01:24:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your final line is quite similar to a qoute that went something like "Shut up and let them think your an idiot, rather than speak and verify their belief."
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2006-02-01 01:22:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful
Submitted by Leodus (user info) at 2006-02-01 00:59:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"It is possible that God doesn't exist. Athiests rarely take into account that it is equally possible that God does."
That's why they're atheists, if they believed in that possibility they wouldn't be.
And a truth that's been affecting me significantly lately: If you're drinking something coloured in a white shirt, you will spill it, creating a not-so-white shirt.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-02-01 00:18:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yellow dart -- http://www.ubersite.com/m/80550
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:50:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W much.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:39:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:36:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:29:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:23:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
The people I sleep with aren't necessarily a reflection of myself, only how limited my courtship and flirting skills are.
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I liked this one.
-=--==-=--=-==-
Certainly very true.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:35:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It is possible that God doesn't exist. Athiests rarely take into account that it is equally possible that God does.
______________
God, for all intents and purposes, is an equal sign.
It is also equally possible that the universe was created by a invisible pink unicorn.
Or that there are multiple gods.
Or that Mary cheated on Joseph and look at the shit we're in because of her lie.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:29:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:23:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
The people I sleep with aren't necessarily a reflection of myself, only how limited my courtship and flirting skills are.
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I liked this one.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:23:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The people I sleep with aren't necessarily a reflection of myself, only how limited my courtship and flirting skills are.
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I liked this one.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:21:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is love another form of hiding from life?
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-01-31 23:16:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A little late for trimming the verge, don't you think?