JonnyX’s Super Kick-Ass Macaroni-n-Cheese Recipe (1432 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.46 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JonnyX (View user info) at 2006-02-01 15:38:04 EST
TigerLilly was bragging the other day about her macaroni-n-cheese, and well, I could not let that stand.
My macaroni-n-cheese is so deliciously creamy, so cheesy, so awesome that the Surgeon-General has decreed that no one can have a third helping, because your arteries will freakin' explode!
(and by the way, girls, if you haven't learned how to cook yet, start. For that matter, GUYS if you haven't learned to cook yet, start. Trust me, chicks REALLY dig it when a guy knows his way around a kitchen. Axolotl, you're a young guy, if start now, you'll be cooking as well as you write, and then you will be awash in poontang...)
Anyways. Back to the recipe. Seriously, this is not difficult, any of you can make this. Here is what you need:
1 box Kraft DELUXE Macaroni & Cheese (the kind with the squeeze pouch, NOT the generic shit with the yellow powder - any of the Deluxe type will do, but I prefer the Sharp Cheddar)
8 oz. sour cream (that's the small tub of sourcream)
1 bunch green onions
4 oz bacon bits (it comes a small, thin jar, use about half that jar - and use REAL bacon, none of those fake-ass Bac-o's, they taste like shit.)
4 cups shredded cheddar cheese (two of the standard size bags)
1 ½ cup milk
1 tablespoon Lowry's Seasoning (dude, Lowry's Seasoning goes on EVERYTHING - steaks, eggs, baked potatoes, breakfast cereals...it is THE Weapon of Mass Condimentation. If you don't have some in your house, go buy that shit today - you'll be glad you did.)
Salt and pepper to taste.
OK. Preheat the oven to 275 degrees (sorry, no microwave recipe available) Boil the macaroni until done.
You need a 9x9 Pyrex dish, or a small Dutch oven - the kind you'd make pot roast in, not a cake pan.
Combine milk, sour cream, Lowry's, and the yellow gloop that comes with the box of Kraft Mac-n-Cheese in the pan, mix it all up so its like cheesy syrup.
Next, stir in the bacon bits.
Next, take the green onions, take half the bunch, chop up the green ends of them (we're talking 3 or 4 stalks here), then take those chopped onions, stir them in too.
By this time, your macaroni should be cooked. Drain the macaroni, add it to the cheesy gloop, and stir it up real good.
Now, take one of the bags of shredded cheese (2 cups) and fold it into the macaroni mixture. Get it all mixed up good, then open the other bag and sprinkle half (1 cup) atop the macaroni.
Place the pan in your oven, for about 18-22 minutes.
Then pull it out of the oven, and you're good to go!
Serves 4 (or two Jay Pegs)
How good is this mac-n-cheese? When I served it to Nigel Tufnel, of Spinal Tap, he pronounced it "none, none more cheesy."
Top that, bitches.
To see what you will look like after eating my macaroni-n-cheese, scroll down to the pic below (mild NSFW)
p.s My mac-n-cheese is best eaten hot 'n' fresh - if you do have leftovers and want to eat it the next day, add a little milk and/or sour cream to it, stir, and re-heat
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User Reviews
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-12-12 15:55:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmmmmmm a meal and a babe.....pure post.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-12-12 15:35:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mac-n-cheese is one of my favorite foods. i havent eaten it since ive been in spain (more than 3 months). i was salivating/sexually aroused while reading the description.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+4 for Spinal Tap
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-02-06 09:43:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-02-02 09:26:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1 box Kraft DELUXE Macaroni & Cheese (the kind with the squeeze pouch, NOT the generic shit with the yellow powder - any of the Deluxe type will do, but I prefer the Sharp Cheddar)
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Sorry LingerieModelX- the usage of the above disqualifies this recipe from participation in the best ever mac n cheese contest.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2006-02-02 08:26:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry, but my rear cannot withstand this recipe.
I think that I gained five pounds just reading about it.
:)
<vomits>
<dies>
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-02-02 07:19:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's going to become the new bitch snack.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-02-02 05:40:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Does everything in America come pre-made?
Bacon bits in a jar?!
Bags of grated cheese?
Squeeze pouch sauce?
That's not cooking.
And cooking in a Dutch oven? That's gross.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-02-01 22:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Serves 4 (or two Jay Pegs)"
+2 for that and inspiring this:
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:43:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:41:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
Lingere doesn't normally get positives from me but...Damn that recipe is hot.
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Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-01 22:31:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Er. Outie to innie. Wow.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-01 22:30:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Eating that will make my penis go from innie to outie? FUCK THAT.
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-02-01 22:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yum yum
you can substitute any strong tasting cheese with a bit of mild and blue vein.... so smooth and creamy.... delicious.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-01 21:28:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by Shifty54 (user info) at 2006-02-01 21:07:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-02-01 20:07:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry, no matter how much I dislike your posts(If at all) I can't avoid giving them a + because of the pics they come with.
I only read it for the articles.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-02-01 20:05:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Um, no.
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-02-01 19:59:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kind of a bland post, much like that recipe!
Ooo I kill me.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2006-02-01 19:38:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sounds like my kind of treat
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-01 19:32:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you can see the macaroni if you look real hard
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-02-01 18:06:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Needs more rape.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-01 17:21:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-02-01 17:17:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, food porn. I love it!
But alas Jonny, I am lactose intollerant and cannot sample this wonderful receipe. <weeps>
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I would die if I couldn't eat cheese - don't worry Bonnie, I'll cook you something else, mmkay?
Better yet, I'll cook you something else whilst wearing my French Maid outfit, how about that?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-02-01 17:17:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, food porn. I love it!
But alas Jonny, I am lactose intollerant and cannot sample this wonderful receipe. <weeps>
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2006-02-01 17:15:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The government recommends you eat at least 3 servings of Mac & Cheese every day. Wisconsin says 7 servings a day.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-02-01 17:14:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had to go look in my fridge and see if I had any cheese.
I don't.
:(
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-02-01 17:09:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto Mac n Cheese +2.
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2006-02-01 16:59:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just took a GiAnt dump, so I'm ready for some Mac+Cheeze.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-02-01 16:38:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
sounds delish. old bay is filled with shitty ass n ew jersey guido s hore house delicious goodness.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-01 16:22:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:58:15 (#)
Ranking: 1
dude, Lowry's Seasoning goes on EVERYTHING - steaks, eggs, baked potatoes, breakfast cereals...it is THE Weapon of Mass Condimentation.
Wrong. That's what Old Bay is. That shit does in my beer.
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Now, I do give mad props to Old Bay, that stuff is pretty good, but it is kinda hard to find some places.
Lowry's has more of a savory TANG to it...it's like a beautiful session of cunnilingus, it has an undescribably delicious taste...
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-02-01 16:16:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just spit coffee everywhere after reading "weenus"
Submitted by RamenNoodle (user info) at 2006-02-01 16:06:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This recipe sounds really good bro, although I probably will not incorporate as much bacon bits when I try it. As for men learning how to cook, this is a must. Women are generally impressed, not to mention the fact that fewer women know how to cook now. My wife can barely boil water, so when I want something good to eat I make it myself.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-01 16:04:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:58:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:54:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Umm? Umm? A mac & cheese covered super model wearing only her undergarments?
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My weenus just went "SPROOOOING-G-G-G!"
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Weenus...ahahahaha..
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:58:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:54:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Umm? Umm? A mac & cheese covered super model wearing only her undergarments?
**********************
My weenus just went "SPROOOOING-G-G-G!"
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:58:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
dude, Lowry's Seasoning goes on EVERYTHING - steaks, eggs, baked potatoes, breakfast cereals...it is THE Weapon of Mass Condimentation.
Wrong. That's what Old Bay is. That shit does in my beer.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:54:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:45:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:44:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:42:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I'm hungry damn you.
For?
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Umm? Umm? A mac & cheese covered super model wearing only her undergarments?
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:53:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
that is wayyyyy too much work for ubet. here's what i do. buy a box of elbow macaroni. AND buy a couple of those brick-sized EXTRA sharp cheddar cheeses.
boil them elbows up. while they're a'boiling, cube cut your cheddar cheeses. when elbows are done, drain, put them back in the pot, keep on about medium heat, throw in them cheese cubes, stir constantly till all cheese melts. EASY HOME-MADE DEEE-LISH
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:53:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:49:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm down with the recipe...all but the onion part.
That chick looks like a conehead.
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Truth be told, you can leave the onions out, and it's still quite awesome. As a matter of fact, I forget the onions about half the time - the molten cheesy goodness is the draw for the recipe anyways.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:49:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm down with the recipe...all but the onion part.
That chick looks like a conehead.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:48:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1 tablespoon Lowry's Seasoning (dude, Lowry's Seasoning goes on EVERYTHING - steaks, eggs, baked potatoes, breakfast cereals...it is THE Weapon of Mass Condimentation. If you don't have some in your house, go buy that shit today - you'll be glad you did.)
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+. Fucking. 2.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:48:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:47:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
That would be awesome if it wasn't for the milk.....cheese........and onions. Stoopid food allergies.
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HA HA! You die if you eat!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:47:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That would be awesome if it wasn't for the milk.....cheese........and onions. Stoopid food allergies.
Submitted by Agent_Smith (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:46:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Serves 4 (or two Jay Pegs)
hahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:45:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:44:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:42:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I'm hungry damn you.
For?
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:44:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:42:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I'm hungry damn you.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:43:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:41:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
Lingere doesn't normally get positives from me but...Damn that recipe is hot.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:42:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I'm hungry damn you.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:41:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Mac and cheese suck.
+1 for the girlie though
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:41:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Recipes don't normally get positives from me but...Damn that pic is hot.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:40:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Weapon of Mass Condimentation.
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AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
THAT CHICK IS THE HOTNESS.