Fuck Originality (621 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.43 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by cha-chi (View user info) at 2006-02-01 21:02:49 EST
He doesn't know what hit him. The blows are fast and hard, leaving little room for navigation.
"Holy fucking shit," he yells.
They continue to pummel him, gathering around at close degrees, until they're so thick he can barely see the light.
"What do you want? What do you want?" he calls out.
Their voices have a singsong quality and a sort of stinging owl man eminence that cannot be avoided.
"We would like a shrubbery," they chant at him.
He stops resisting their attack for a moment and grimaces.
"Come on guys, that's been done before."
They stop gnawing at his flesh and stare up at him with unblinking rat like eyes.
"Seriously?" one of the creatures asks. "Cause I mean, we can come up with something better. I'm sure we can."
The man nods. "Yeah. Definitely been done before."
The creatures turn away and begin talking amongst themselves. They whisper and giggle and point at the man from time to time.
"THWACK"
"Holy fucking shit," one of the creatures says. "What was that?"
They turn around to see the man holding one of them by the nape of the neck and gripping a cast iron skillet in the other hand.
"I needed a snack while you guys were thinking," he says and shrugs.
"We know what we want!" one of the younger creatures excitedly chirps out.
"We want more haha rabbit."
"I'm tired of haha rabbit," the man answers. "Can't you guys come up with anything original?"
They shake their heads dully. "Well, no. Why else would we be on uber?"
User Reviews
Submitted by sweetkisses (user info) at 2007-06-21 10:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-02 18:39:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
AND THEN YOU SHALL TYPE YOUR NEXT POST USING....A.....HERRING!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-02-02 12:10:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Completely concur.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-02 00:41:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-02 00:41:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"You must leave now, take what you need, you think will last.
But whatever you wish to keep, you better grab it fast.
Yonder stands your orphan with his gun,
Crying like a fire in the sun.
Look out the saints are comin' through
And it's all over now, Baby Blue.
The highway is for gamblers, better use your sense.
Take what you have gathered from coincidence.
The empty-handed painter from your streets
Is drawing crazy patterns on your sheets.
This sky, too, is folding under you
And it's all over now, Baby Blue.
All your seasick sailors, they are rowing home.
All your reindeer armies, are all going home.
The lover who just walked out your door
Has taken all his blankets from the floor.
The carpet, too, is moving under you
And it's all over now, Baby Blue.
Leave your stepping stones behind, something calls for you.
Forget the dead you've left, they will not follow you.
The vagabond who's rapping at your door
Is standing in the clothes that you once wore.
Strike another match, go start anew
And it's all over now, Baby Blue."
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-02-01 22:51:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
good concept.
poor excecution.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-01 22:47:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-01 22:00:33 (#)
Ranking: 1
Douche. I mean, Touchè.
--------
nice.
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-02-01 22:38:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
For merely the mentioning of Shrubbery.
+1.499999999999999
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-01 22:30:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wert wert wert wert wert wert wert wert wert wert wert wert wert wert wert wert
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2006-02-01 22:17:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i rather enjoyed this, thanks for the read.
Submitted by Psycosis (user info) at 2006-02-01 22:04:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
umpf!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-01 22:00:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Douche. I mean, Touchè.
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2006-02-01 21:56:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2006-02-01 21:18:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thankfully, this bullshit was awesome and was well worth the wasted time.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-01 21:10:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Saved it at the end. Barely.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-02-01 21:05:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+ 1.5
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-02-01 21:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1.5
Submitted by belowground (user info) at 2006-02-01 21:04:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Thankfully, this bullshit was short, and didn't waste a ton of my time.