Midnight Confessions! (419 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 2 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Vanilla (View user info) at 2006-02-02 06:27:35 EST
Fear is a funny thing. Well, actually, emotion is. Fear is bizarre because it's identified as so many other things. Confused with so many other emotions.
When you think about it, it's either that thing that's paralyzing you from moving ahead or that motivation that fuels you to strive for your goals, to achieve the unachievable or simply to move through every obstacle that you've ever come across.
When it's a barrier, it really sucks. It's the most awful place to be because it's so hard to overcome the helplessness that comes along with being afraid. You're too scared to push yourself forward so you're stuck in your circumstances either because you feel it's safer to stay there or because you don't know what to expect after you overcome being scared of that change. I guess it's kind of the same point... either way, you can't move on from a place of pain because you're too scared to take that risk.
But then you change being afraid to motivation and, although you're still feeling exactly the same anxiety, you're treating the "problem" as something tangible that creates the solution. You're doing something. In my experience, being in a state of limbo is worse than confronting an obstacle.
What's got me thinking is why I fall into my patterns every time I seem to have everything I want in front of me. When you have everything, you have everything to lose. So you begin to fear change and the motion of growth because you're scared to lose something your comfortable with. But at the end of the day, that's not life, is it? Its about taking that risk and doing something that really scares you because that's when you grow.
There's 3 main aspects of my life that I'm referring to when I think about things, my education, my family and my relationships. The most important thing to me is to take advantage of what I've strived for since I was 12 years old, I've gotten into law school, I'm studying a double degree and I'm on track for doing what I wanted to do with my life. Then there's the pressure to actually succeed in this... and if you don't, then everything you've wanted tends to fall apart. So what do you do? You really don't want to fuck it up. But you fixate on it so much that you create a barrier in front of you that inadvertently sets you up for failure.
My family... that's a funny one. When it comes to support, it's only offered when you're doing something in accordance with Mum and Dad's expectations. Anything else gets served up with a side order of Guilt. This really only translates to pressure. More anxiety because you really don't want to deal with Mum and Dad when what they want for you is a little outdated. You can't shake this one off because it's family, but I suppose you overcome it because if you don't, you'll spend your whole life pleasing everyone but yourself. Family is the worst because at the end of the day, it's hard not to feel like you owe them. And then you look at your loan statement and realize "Hey! It's ME that owes $7500 for tuition fees to the government..." So... emotional blackmail is not a good enough reason to follow along with family expectations. Not when it's costing you about $5000 a year.
And finally... Relationships. Where do you draw the line between something good, fun, wonderful and comfortable and unnecessary? I don't believe that a relationship is worth staying in just because it's comfortable. That's safe and it stunts your growth. You don't develop as a person because you're dependent on the boundaries of the relationship to survive. This can really be applied to any relationship, not just a romantic one. The following, is probably more romantic though; a loving partnership between two people generally includes a level of support and trust and love and all that good stuff, but also a whole lot of challenge and stimulation (NOT just the physical kind). Comfort and challenge just don't seem to fit together. If your comfortable, you're too scared to grow. If there's any point in devoting your life to someone you have to see a reason beyond physical attraction, and for me, personally, it's knowing that who I'm with is a person who not only is willing to teach me, but also to be taught and ultimately grow with me. When a relationship is just about the comfort, then it's not worth being in.
Ok, all out of juice.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-02 08:21:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 GRAEME SOUNESS SACKED!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-02 07:25:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fear is the great challenge of life. You overcome it or you don't live. I suppose it's kind of like the winter.
The assesment of worth, I guess. If you're worthy of it all then you make it work and if not then you don't. i don't know whether or not it should be changed, whether or not it is better to save people from fear or to let them pass.
Do corrupted, flawed and frightened individuals do more harm than good if they are encouraged to succeed? Do the flaws which disable them in the face of fear make them unworthy of life? Nature says yes, compassion says no. Man says no and seems to regret it everytime he opens the morning paper.
Fear must be overcome but everyone must face it, we must all be free to live and as such free to fail but that doesn't mean we can't make it as easy as possible to succeed. So we spread the notions of love, joy and fun to our children and let them play. Most do well, some do not.
Still hard to look the corpse of a child in the eye though. Harder to tell their parents they weren't good enough. Tradgedy begets need begets love begets peace though. All things have their place, even dead kids who couldn't hack it. Everything is linked.
So that's fear for you.
Submitted by gallowayveer (user info) at 2006-02-02 07:12:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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