The most delicious Orange. (428 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.62 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <anthony.browness.at.us.army.mil> (View user info) at 2006-02-03 02:17:58 EST
I am here today to bring all of you at Ubersite a story. This story took place about 6 years ago when I was in 10th Grade.
My mother had left me and my little brother at home, at the time he was about 9 years old. She had placed me "in charge" while she was gone and it was my responsibilty to look after said little brother.
Now, you have to understand that this is no small task, my little brother was spoilt and very bratty. He would throw things at you just to get a reaction. Once he tore the door off its hinges in the bathroom (dont even ask how, because i dont know) and blamed it on me.
Well, me and my friend Lance were sitting in the kitchen drinking some juice and talking about what we were going to do that night after my mother got back to relieve me from little brother duty. I happened to have a rather delicious looking Orange in my hand that I was about to peel open and begin eating.
My little brother tore down the stairs and threw a tonka toy right at my friends head, and hit him smack dab between the eyes, I hope your not thinking Hotwheels because this wasnt one of those pussy little cars, this was a full on yellow tonka truck that must of weight a good 10 pounds (I think he still has a scar there).
Now this pissed me off to no end (even though I still look back and chuckle about that). I immediatly stood up and the conversation went something like this:
Me: "GO TO YOUR FUCKING ROOM!!"
Brother: "NO! YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME!"
Me: "MOM PUT ME IN CHARGE, AND I SAY GO TO YOUR FUCKING ROOM!!!"
Brother: "IMA TELL MOM YOUR SWEARING!"
Me: "I DONT GIVE A RATS ASS WHAT YOU DO, AS LONG AS YOU DO IT IN YOUR ROOM!"
At this point, my brother starts laughing in hysterics, and I'm thinking "What a fucking nut!". By now I know that whatever I do hes NOT going to his room.
Me: "....So, you think this is funny? I'll show you something funny!"
My brother keept on laughing and laughing, and then I just flipped out. Yea, remember that delicious orange I was holding in my hand? I threw it right at his head.
THWAP, THUD, THUNK! (the sound of said orange hitting my brother in the head and then hitting the ground with my brother in tow ...respectivly"
I'm stunned, because I really didnt mean to do that. My friend is just looking at me like, "dude thats fucked up!". And my brother is lying on the ground squirming around.
My little brother then pops up, and screams "YOU BROKE MY HEAD!!!" and runs down to his room.
me and my friend starting cracking up because that whole situation was just funny, hehe, I continue to laugh as I pick up the orange (now split nearly in two) and start peeling it. My friend says "dude, what are you doing?" I realized I was about to eat this orange that I just "broke my brothers head with". I shrug and say "gotta dispose of the evidence".
And to this day, that was the most delicious orange I have ever eaten.
User Reviews
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-07-26 18:04:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
mmm head oranges
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-07-26 17:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-02-03 13:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-02-03 13:07:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The only way to stop kids who throw things is to remove the arm.
TigerLily was a 'kicker' as a child...someone did the right thing.
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2006-02-03 11:33:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hey don't +2 yourself
Submitted by Demos74 (user info) at 2006-02-03 03:31:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for the spell check, Mr Dicktionary.
Submitted by Malachewaii (user info) at 2006-02-03 03:26:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sounds an awful lot like that scene in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas..
oh.. and..
spoilt= spoiled, and weight= weighed.
Submitted by belowground (user info) at 2006-02-03 02:38:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Exceptionally well done.
Good stuff.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-02-03 02:38:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooooh, those were the days.
Submitted by GuinnessSince1759 (user info) at 2006-02-03 02:34:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Today is your lucky day. Considering I should give you the classic -2 for a first post. But I thought that you started your time at uber with a decent quality post. So good job and Welcome to uber.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-02-03 02:33:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed. A lot. Especially at the tonka truck part.
My brother had one of those.