Sticky Dirty Fornication (879 hits)
Category: Politics -> IraqRating: -0.47 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by M Les <mles76.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-02-03 14:53:01 EST
Human reproduction should be licensed based on the physical and mental attributes of the couple wanting to propagate. I'm sick of all the ugly and stupid people I see in the streets. I know it's not your fault but someone is to blame. Maybe if your mother's had kept their knees together I wouldn't have to look at you and pity your mediocre life. We both know she couldn't, that filthy whore had to spread them.
I propose an international procreation licensing board chaired by me. Couples would apply for a fornication license and would be screened based on my personal procreation laws.
Licenses would be issued based on:
1. Physical attractiveness of both fornicators. Preference given to blond hair, blue-eyed couples.
2. Intelligence - Couples must pass my comprehensive intelligence test.
3. Personality - Hotness and smarts only go so far. I'd look for solid personalities.
I'm guessing everyone on this site would fail these tests. Some of you are smart but so very ugly. Some are attractive but so very stupid. None of you would pass my personality test. Please stop fornicating like rabbits. You are all sub-par people.
Warmest regards,
MLES76
User Reviews
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-02-03 17:40:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Genius.
And since everyone loves following rules and no one getts any type of thrill from doing things that they are not supposed to, there would be NO unlicensed binness going on ever.
I think this is unbefuckinglievably brilliant.
Wait, no, that brilliant thing was that other idea, the one about opening another beer.
This idea is just stupid, unless it's meant to be satire, in which case it's stupid satire.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-02-03 17:40:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're welcome, Sergeant Asshat!
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-02-03 17:27:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-02-03 17:15:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
why was this under Political --> Iraq, you fuckwit? Looks like you wouldn't ever pass your own tests.
GO YOU!
-------------------
Thank you captain obvious
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-02-03 17:15:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
why was this under Political --> Iraq, you fuckwit? Looks like you wouldn't ever pass your own tests.
GO YOU!
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-03 17:07:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:17:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow Orgasmatron, that was impressive, dam good in fact. If you were more attractive I'd let you reproduce.
----
O-man is a machine. He pleases people for cash because it's programmed into him to be his function. He made me orgasm so many times I turned robosexual.
MF. Choose between this:
Corky, Fat Tony, taking a drill bit to your naughty parts.
I know which one I would choose!
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-02-03 17:06:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah one of them is a fat hairy WOP.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-02-03 17:04:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
those chicks are fuckinh hot.
+2!
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:58:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:32:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:27:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:11:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you make out with COrky Mistress?
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fuck no
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If you had to choose between The COrkster and Fat Tony who would it be?
=============================
Sweet Jeebus. Aren't they the same person?
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:32:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:27:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:11:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you make out with COrky Mistress?
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fuck no
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If you had to choose between The COrkster and Fat Tony who would it be?
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:28:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
IF the government were ever to do this (licensing) and get away with it, there's no way that they could base it on attractivity. Intelligence and income would have to be considered, because if you can't afford to support your self, how are you going to raise 3 kids? But it'll never happen.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:27:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:11:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you make out with COrky Mistress?
==============
fuck no
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:17:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow Orgasmatron, that was impressive, dam good in fact. If you were more attractive I'd let you reproduce.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:13:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
The common feeder lines, with heavy groans resounding,
Stretched for what seemed miles, each with would-be parents hounding
One another, those beside, and countless others, each
Shuffling, paperwork in hand, to the booth out of reach
From the position behind the velvet rope so placed
Across the line's end to prevent any, all, disgrace
For individuals who waited long and through the night,
Who sacrificed and leapt through hoops to fight the good fight,
Earn their appointment at the Bureau of Reproduction,
Individuals now told "No, sorry. Reduction
Of babies given to parents this year I'm afraid."
Could you deny them, then, their efforts, now in vain, made
Not for themselves, but for the future of a would-be child?
Here, let them pass. Stay behind the rope a little while
Longer while they drop their shoulders. Maybe next year, right?
No one will tell them it's because they were black and not white,
That "We don't take no redmen here," or "yella'd slant eyes,"
Perhaps "A light-skinned baby, alone, will kick and cry
In this country. Leave your immigrant ways at the door,
We don't want them. We don't want your kind anymore."
This, the future where babies, white, come to those who wait.
This, the work of M Les. Hail America. Hail hate.
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:11:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you make out with COrky Mistress?
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-03 16:02:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Corky is probably the richest retard on Earth. He probably gets laid too - from chicks with normal chromomsomes too.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2006-02-03 15:49:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dem teefus make da peener say "ouch".
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-02-03 15:45:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ubersite is a gathering point for social retards having a collective bi-polar fit, sucking the last drop of syrup out of a sanity slushee. I come here often. I head the board despite my short cock and receeding hairline becasue I'm in charge.
Submitted by belowground (user info) at 2006-02-03 15:41:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The fact that the text was garbage ruins the post up a bit.
However, that pic is pretty good, and the fact that you posted it under Politics > Iraq for no reason clinches a solid +1.
Submitted by Tracer0351 (user info) at 2006-02-03 15:28:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you taking aplications to be on the board? I've always said the gene pool needs a little more bleach.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-03 15:24:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
When I was a kid, there was this family that went to our church - the mother and father were average looking, but they have 5 kids, and EVERY one of them was completely ugly. They actually did look like they had down's syndrome.
You'd think after a while people would catch on that 'hey, every kid we have turns out identically as ugly as the last one, let's try one more time to beat the odds' is not such a great idea.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-02-03 15:24:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Corky says: "Don't throw me away, I'm a person too!"
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-03 15:08:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
corky!!!
Submitted by Snowynorth (user info) at 2006-02-03 15:07:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Preference given to blond hair, blue-eyed couples.
Zeig heil, the fuhrer has returned...
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2006-02-03 15:04:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
the pics made me laugh
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-03 15:02:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Downy boy!
Plus, you would be chosen to NOT procreate, I'm betting.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-02-03 14:59:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Comrade, what an excellent idea. wonder why no one's ever thought about this before.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-03 14:56:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you are really obsessed with corky, aren't you.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-03 14:56:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd have to see your attractiveness level to judge if you should head the committee.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-03 14:55:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
How medieval.