My Big Fat Moral Dilemma (464 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.7 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spacey (View user info) at 2006-02-06 10:10:48 EST
I have a wonderful fish tank, it's big and has bright pink gravel. My fish are amazing...well...were amazing that is, until yesterday. Yesterday afternoon I decided to go to the garden centre and buy a new fish. I spent a little while looking and talking to the guy about which ones would be suitable for my tank. Eventually I chose a yellow panchax, I was assured that it was friendly and there wouldn't be any aggression whatsoever towards any of my other fish. I took him home and named him Ruben and vowed to love him and look after him forever and ever and ever.
Now I hate him but I can't bring myself to send him to the big toilet bowl in the sky prematurely. In one night he brutally murdered 4 tetras (that's almost half of the blazing squad (nb they aren't named after them for their musical talent, it's because there are ten of them and they're really stupid)) 6 guppies (Mark, Shaun, Tim, Layla, Katrice and Martine)my male and female fighter fish (Phil and Sarah) and my two baby albino frogs (Snoop Froggy Frog and Jose).
I don't know what to do now, I really don't want to murder him (capital punishment is frowned upon in these here parts) and I can take him back to the shop because his 12 hour guarantee has run out.
I'm scared and confused and having a moral dilemma. I cannot justify these evil fishey doings, but I can't kill him. Does anyone want a fish? I'll post!
User Reviews
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-02-06 19:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
whom killed the fishies?
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:46:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:28:41 (#)
Ranking: 1
kill all the fish. get a cat. cats are more better.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-06 11:36:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the 12 hour guarantee was for him to be alive. if you got told he wouldn't kill the shit out of your other fish that guarantee has nothing to do with it. go back to the shop anyway and tell the manager that the fucktard who sold you the fish is a fucking liar or dumb as dog shit and see if you can get free fish out of it. otherwise flush the little fucker or keep feeding him your friends for entertainment.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-06 11:29:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"He said 'kill the fart.'"
"I apologize, Your Honor, but that's what he said."
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-02-06 11:13:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Go back to the garden center and see if they have a tank separater, that should hold him back until he gets used to his new surrounds. Then let him out a few minutes a day, and gradually increase his recess time.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:58:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
go back to the jackoff who told you it wouldn't be aggressive and deman that he reimburse you for your lost fish...
then make him suck your dick...or cunt
whatever you have.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:54:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If it'll help your moral dilemma, fillet and eat it after you kill it.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:49:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bring him back to the fish store.
Submitted by BingBongBing (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:47:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
heres what ya do....ya go back to the fish store, and buy 1 oscar or a few medium sized cichilds....put them in there, theyll take care of all your problems.
Submitted by Snowynorth (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:40:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hang him just outside the tank as an example to all the other fish.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:38:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Move him to the toilet and tell him to take his chances. if the little bastard can stand a few flushes and being pissed on a few times he's worthy of your respect. And possibly allegience.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:37:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel your pain, man. I also bought the same exact type of fish (color and everything) and the motherfucker ate every last fish in my tank.
But I loved him, and I couldn't just flush him. Eventually, I bought a seperate tank just for him and then I added a whole bunch of other fish just like him. He actually lived for 3 years.
I have pics of him eating an entire ghost shrimp...but, like I said, I loved him.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:32:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Snoop Froggy Frog, hahaha.
It is quite the dillemma. Perhaps you could move him to a seperate smaller tank? Or keep asking if anyone wants him.
Regardless, he is a murderer of other fish, and as such his life value goes down. Try your best to place him/move him, then if all else fails flush him.
You could always just GIVE him back to the pet store, they might take him for free.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:28:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
kill all the fish. get a cat. cats are more better.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:27:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Get out of the house for at least a day
and stop taking your 2dollar purchases so seriously
that's all I can say
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:22:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The choice is clear:
You must nurture any remaining animals in the tank, and train them until they are able to undergo a battle royal with the heathen fish. Then you'd charge £29.99 for viewing rights, and give me a 10% consultants fee for giving you the idea.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If you spray the whole tank with buck shot, you won't HAVE to flush him! Make the place he lives a battleground!
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:21:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Get a bigger fish to take care of it for you.
With any luck, he'll finish off the Blazing Squad too.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:20:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I live in my bath. And i'm not having that little bastard chewing away at my tackle.
Submitted by Spacey (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:17:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:12:37 (#)
Ranking: 1
Other than the tiny fish picture this was ok. I don't want your fish though.
***************
Are you sure? He could live in the sink or the bath.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-06 10:12:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Other than the tiny fish picture this was ok. I don't want your fish though.