Rescue, Ranting, Raves and Ridiculous Ridicule (777 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.87 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ahumblefool (View user info) at 2006-02-06 14:46:30 EST
Wow, what a great weekend. First I get an emergency responder call asking for assistance on a missing skier, who happens to be a minor. As I am team lead for this ski resorts ESR (Emergency Search and Rescue) I call up the other members and find out who can accompany me. Three other volunteers let me know they can leave right away, so we head up to the resort. Depending on age, time can be critical, so we were aware that the resorts on staff ESR were already combing the slopes. When we arrived two hours later, we were informed through radio contact that the minor had not yet been found. The person missing is fifteen years old, snow is falling and the temperature although moderate, is still cold enough to concern us. We head up the slopes, talking to people as they head down, asking if they had seen anyone. We are about two hours into the search when we receive a call letting us know that the minor had been found...
In the back of the parents van sleeping.
Okay, obviously it was wonderful that the minor was discovered unharmed. The minor had felt sick and went back to the van to sleep, not informing the parents. What upset us was the parent's lack of respect towards the ESR. When we sat with the minor and the parent to discuss the situation (something we are legally bound to do) we were informed that this was our job and why were we so upset. First we were not upset, we were happy that the minor was okay. Second, this is not our job, we are volunteers who receive no pay for what we do, we do it because we know the wilderness areas and feel we can discover someone faster due to our knowledge. We pay for all of our first aid and climbing training, plus we take time out of our lives to come and save you. They just could not grasp that, and it felt rather insulting. But the minor was safe and that was the good part.
____________________________________________________
What the hell is Velveeta anyway? Dam that stuff is great mixed with chili. Put it on a hot dog and you are in seventh heaven. Have to eat it quick though, because when it cools down it just becomes that weird brick of lard again.
____________________________________________________
Wife purchased a new dress this weekend. Yellow. She asked my five year old daughter how she looked.
"You look like a big lemon."
Dress is going back today.
____________________________________________________
My daughter received this small Karaoke machine for Christmas. It has a video camera inside of it so while she is singing she can see herself on the television. We hooked it up for the first time this weekend, and immediately I start to laugh. Wife looks at me and knows exactly what I am thinking, home porno time.
____________________________________________________
Saw Brokeback Mountain......enough said.
____________________________________________________
Hair is growing back. I am able to shave, but can not get to my ass. Itches like mad. Almost asked a lady at Target to pickup a Cactus and smack my backside with it.
____________________________________________________
Dennis Quaid should stop acting as soon as possible. Has he ever done anything worth watching? Saw Flight of the Phoenix, that is a barn burner. Day After Tomorrow, damn.
____________________________________________________
Rent 9 Songs and watch it with your loved one, just pass the video parts. Trust me.
____________________________________________________
I sprained my ankle on that stupid Dance Dance Revolution Game trying to beat "Where's Your Head At." Frigging hurts today.
____________________________________________________
For the first time in about two months we are suppose to have one week with no rain, things are looking up.
User Reviews
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-21 17:15:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For God so loved the world, he gave us his one and only humblefool.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:25:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Glad to hear the S&R ended on a good note, and that the hairless nutsack thing is working out for you. :)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:25:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Glad to hear the S&R went well, and that the hairless nutsack thing is working out for you. :)
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:03:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1 block of Velveeta + 2 cans Hormel chili (with or w/o beans)
Nuke 4 to 5 min
Add Tortilla chips
= mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-02-07 06:14:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What the hell IS Velveeta?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-02-07 04:02:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My daughter received this small Karaoke machine for Christmas. It has a video camera inside of it so while she is singing she can see herself on the television. We hooked it up for the first time this weekend, and immediately I start to laugh. Wife looks at me and knows exactly what I am thinking, home porno time.
____________________________________________________
Saw Brokeback Mountain......enough said.
---------------
I am so glad you put these in that order. The other way around would have just been SOOOO wrong.
Nice ranty type thing.
-Dave
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-02-07 01:08:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for anyone who risks their own life to save someone else's. Especially if they're volunteers and don't get paid for it.
Also, when I read "Wife looks at me and knows exactly what I am thinking, home porno time." I totally read it as "homo porn time."
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-02-06 21:50:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dennis quaid is AWFUL.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:32:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
True conversation between my daughter and I:
What color is daddy's shirt?
Green.
What color is daddy's hat?
Blue.
What color are daddy's eyes?
Blue.
What color are daddy's teeth?
...yellow.
*cue dismay*
Yeah you're probably right kid.
-------
From the mouths of babes.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:18:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:16:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:11:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:02:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:37:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
thats what i hear too. i got the letter to schedule the test two weeks ago and i've been stalling to get in more study time. the practical was easier because they told me the date of the test and it was "go time" that day.
___________________________________
I have a couple of friends who have taking it. Do not over study or it will wear you down. Set a date and stick to it. Good luck!
---
luck is what you make it, but thanks for the advice!
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:16:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:11:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:02:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:37:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
thats what i hear too. i got the letter to schedule the test two weeks ago and i've been stalling to get in more study time. the practical was easier because they told me the date of the test and it was "go time" that day.
___________________________________
I have a couple of friends who have taking it. Do not over study or it will wear you down. Set a date and stick to it. Good luck!
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:02:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:37:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
i want to hear some more rescue stories from you.
i just took and passed the practical part of the EMT B test and am set to schedule the written test any day now.i am intersted in wilderness rescue.
must have more stories.
_______________________________________
I have quite a few and will gladly share, Good luck on the written EMT it is a bear I hear.
---
thats what i hear too. i got the letter to schedule the test two weeks ago and i've been stalling to get in more study time. the practical was easier because they told me the date of the test and it was "go time" that day.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:03:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:51:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:34:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:32:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
your daughter is awesome. question: would your wife have preferred big banana?
_______________________________________
Good question. I think banana as it is long as skinny, lemon, short and round. Did not go over well. *snicker*
----------------
were you there for the original asking?
_______________________________________
Yes, yes I was. And I laughed, hard. The look on my daughters face was so matter of fact, and the look on my wifes face was hysterical. I got hit several times.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:02:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:37:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
i want to hear some more rescue stories from you.
i just took and passed the practical part of the EMT B test and am set to schedule the written test any day now.i am intersted in wilderness rescue.
must have more stories.
_______________________________________
I have quite a few and will gladly share, Good luck on the written EMT it is a bear I hear.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:01:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're like the male loki with this post.
Your weekend sounds heaps better than mine, what with all of my sleeping and being drugged on cold medication while trying to kick the illness that was clinging to my sinuses harder than Vietnamese nationals on the side of a helicopter heading out of Saigon.
I 'watched' Giants: Friend or Foe?, an hour long program on the history of sideshows and a show about Dracula's bloodline on Saturday night. Thrilling. So, so thrilling.
And then, Sunday...fine again. Just in time to drink for the Super Bowl. Well, the commercials.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:51:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:34:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:32:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
your daughter is awesome. question: would your wife have preferred big banana?
_______________________________________
Good question. I think banana as it is long as skinny, lemon, short and round. Did not go over well. *snicker*
----------------
were you there for the original asking?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:46:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:34:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:25:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah cheer up buddy. If it's any consollation that you can't find em, there are billions to replace them.
If you ever come to DC, I'll buy you a drink.
============
You're underage, you little homo.
----
I didn't say I would directly purchase it. I would pass him the cash, he buys it on his own.
Gah MF! Gah!
I love your anus.
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:40:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:39:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:34:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:25:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah cheer up buddy. If it's any consollation that you can't find em, there are billions to replace them.
If you ever come to DC, I'll buy you a drink.
============
You're underage, you little homo.
------------
Not in Canada he isn't ;).
AHF - great stories. How old is your daughter?
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:37:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i want to hear some more rescue stories from you.
i just took and passed the practical part of the EMT B test and am set to schedule the written test any day now.i am intersted in wilderness rescue.
must have more stories.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:35:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can not type worth a damn, too many drinks last night....
Nope I just can not spell or type worth a damn
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:34:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:25:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah cheer up buddy. If it's any consollation that you can't find em, there are billions to replace them.
If you ever come to DC, I'll buy you a drink.
============
You're underage, you little homo.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:34:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:32:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
your daughter is awesome. question: would your wife have preferred big banana?
_______________________________________
Good question. I think banana as it is long as skinny, lemon, short and round. Did not go over well. *snicker*
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:27:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
we were informed that this was our job and why were we so upset.
-------
you should have presented them a bill for $2100 - that would have settled their hash.
_____________________
Man, I wish we could do that. Solve so many issues.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:32:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:25:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah cheer up buddy. If it's any consollation that you can't find em, there are billions to replace them.
If you ever come to DC, I'll buy you a drink.
_________________
Take you up on that some day.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:32:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your daughter is awesome. question: would your wife have preferred big banana?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:27:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
we were informed that this was our job and why were we so upset.
-------
you should have presented them a bill for $2100 - that would have settled their hash.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:25:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah cheer up buddy. If it's any consollation that you can't find em, there are billions to replace them.
If you ever come to DC, I'll buy you a drink.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:23:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:17:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA Yellow Dart.
Humble I had a great friend who was in Search and Rescue. I remember how he would go out and come back all worn out and shit, then be expected to perform all of his normal day to day tasks as though nothing happened. You shouldn't have taken any of that crap. Drag the parents into the mountains, knock them unconscious and leave them there.
_______________________________
We rescued a guy, he sued us for taking too long! WTF! It never went anywhere, but still, who the hell treats people like that. His case was that we were trained to discover quickly and it had taken us 48 hours. Aftwards the group wanted to take his ass out to some remote forest blindfolded and see if he could get back.
And, it does wear you our emotionally and physically, ecspecially if you are unable to located the lost person, it eats at you.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA Yellow Dart.
Humble I had a great friend who was in Search and Rescue. I remember how he would go out and come back all worn out and shit, then be expected to perform all of his normal day to day tasks as though nothing happened. You shouldn't have taken any of that crap. Drag the parents into the mountains, knock them unconscious and leave them there.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:17:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have been legally allowed to release the child into the wilderness and let the parents find him.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:14:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
See, I regularly wear my lemon costume and no one says it to me. Maybe I'm trying too hard for a compliment like that one. I love lemon.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:11:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-02-06 14:54:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 14:53:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Kill the parents.
No don't argue with me, the world will thank you later.
================
They are probably snivelling liberals.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:02:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
First of all, I love raving posts.
Secondly, I saw Flight of the Phoenix, and let me tell you, I thought it was completely over the top and totally unbelieveable. It was too "roller-coastery" for my liking. It made no sense whatsoever.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-02-06 14:54:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 14:53:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Kill the parents.
No don't argue with me, the world will thank you later.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 14:53:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kill the parents.
No don't argue with me, the world will thank you later.