Stop ruining them for me you bastard! (5815 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.1 on 130 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Redskieslookfake (View user info) at 2006-02-07 08:55:16 EST
One of my friends, and we shall call him 'Steve' has various hobbies. He likes music, films, drinking and football. Generally he is a good bloke who I'd quite happily try and get world cup tickets for had Sepp Blatter not vetoed my ass.. However, he has one habit which I loathe with a passion.
Steve ruins women for me.
I don't mean in a 'stretch them out of shape way' or 'leave them emotionally ruined - sobbing emo tears.' No, I mean he learns who I like, then he goes out of his way to character assassinate them, or point out a physical feature that really isn't so bad, but after repeated mentions of it, becomes an irritant.
I'm picky when it comes to celebrities. It is highly unlikely that Beyonce will ever sleep with me. I am not yet ruling it out, but I would say it is more likely that I will be struck by a meteor just moments after winning the lottery. Simple improbability is no reason why I should settle for a B list celebrity.
I'm not saying that if Natasha Bedingfield appeared before me now I wouldn't say 'go on then love - why not?' - but if it were a toss up (so to speak) between her and Katie Melua, well, Natasha would be writing a new song where she name checks poets and sings of loss and regret.
Possibly.
Anyhow, I shall now tell you a few of the celebrities I have theoretically loved and lost as a result of Steve's cruel actions.
Avril Lavigne.
I know she is Canadian, and I know she doesn't write her own songs, but before I knew any of that I thought 'young punky character who writes her own songs and can play guitar - interesting.'
Then Steve pointed out her nose. What's wrong with it you may ask?
http://www.notrecinema.com/images/stars/Avril%205.jpg
Now I'm telling you that she has a nice enough nose. I certainly never looked at it and thought 'oooh - nasty.'
Steve commented on her nose being just a tad upturned. And by tad I mean 'urgh - look at her horrible nose - it's fucking disgusting. You can see right up her nose into the cavity behind her eyes. Urgh! If you did her, would you do her in her giant nose holes? Shagging her septum? Look at that - she looks like she has her nose pressed against glass, but she hasn't - it's just that upturned.'
I heartily disagreed. The lovely Miss Lavigne has a perfectly normal nose. Sure, it's a little bit upturned....
...damn - it's not like I'm gonna turn her down due to her nose. Even if it is just a little bit aperfect.
Oh, and she doesn't write her own stuff? Oh, that's a shame. Really? She doesn't play guitar either - no I did not know that Steve - thank you for bringing it to my attention. If she walked in right now I would tell her just how disappointed I am in her.
The problem is, now whenever someone mentions little Avril, all I think of is her nose. It now *does* bother me. I'm not normally this shallow, but when it comes to celebrities - only shallowness exists.
Natalie Portman
I saw Star Wars 2. Generally it was shit, and it confirmed my hatred of George Lucas after the shit sandwich that was the first one. The only redeeming scene was where Natalie Portman was tied to a giant phallic pillar, while she leapt up and down dressed in a tight white top. Pure gold.
Did I know it was her in Leon? Well Steve, I did know that, but hadn't really thought about it for a bit. No, that does not make me a paedophile. I didn't fancy her when she was aged 12 or whatever. I fancy her now she has grown up.
No! I fucking didn't imagine her when she was older when she was in Leon. Give me a break. You saying you wouldn't Steve?
Her ears? What the fuck is wrong with her ears? I've not looked closely. Steve, I...
Reservoir Dogs' scene? What do you mean? Like after the cop got his ear cut off? Don't be fucking sick - her ears are nothing like that! That was a prosthetic.
http://www.natalieportman.org/nov05.jpg
Well, it is a little flat, and not particularly well defined.
Steve... I've warned you before about this.
She's a really bonny lass, there's nothing wrong with her. And what about that scene man? Jumping up and down. Brilliant!
Look at her ears? Don't be silly - I'm looking at her tits. Ok, I'm looking now - no they're fine...
Garden State? She wears earmuffs in them? Really? Like she's trying to hide something?
God damn it - now I can't stop looking at her ears! Fuck you Steve.
Rachel Stevens
Some girls always get what they wanna wanna. I want Rachel Stevens. I could forgive Avril Lavigne, and even Natalie Portman's appeal was fleeting, but don't interfere with Rachel Stevens. Look at her.
http://media1.santabanta.com/full/Global%20Celebrities(F)/Rachel%20Stevens/rac5h.jpg
Aha. She's lovely, I like her accent, so you can't go and pull the old 'listen to how nasal she is' (that is how Sarah Michelle Gellar fell before the wrath of Steve).
Skin - flawless (Cameron Diaz - goodbye)
Lovely breasts (Jessica 'Bee Stings' Alba was ruined for me by that one)
Figure - all natural (Poor old Kate Beckinsale - ruined by Steve sending me pictures of her botched plastic surgery).
Her feet?
I'm not a foot person Steve. What do you mean look at her feet?
Webbed toes? You are joking mate. There is no way she has flippers. No I haven't looked at her feet. Look she's on the telly now - let's have a look then...
Yeah - shoes. Fair enough, that proves nothing.
Ah - here's a shot of her with sandals on - see...
Oh - you can't see her feet - they're not showing them. Steve, this is a conspiracy theory you've concocted.
It could be a verucca couldn't it Steve? That's not so bad, she should just stop paddling in public swimming pools, she'll be fine then.
Webbed toes?
No way.
No way.
Look at her. She's gorgeous.
No, I wouldn't kick her out of bed. Well, she could keep her socks on couldn't she?
Or verucca socks, yes Steve. They'd be less likely to slip off accidentally.
Plastic bags with rubber bands around her ankles? Her feet would drop off!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN GOOD!??!
This particular story drifted around for ages, not quite staring me in the face in the way that Avril's nose or Portman's ear did. Still....
Then than that bastard lisper Jonathan Ross went and did it.
"So Wachel, haff you got rebbed feet then?"
No Jonathan you cunt. Don't do it.
There we go - closeup of her webbing. Oh it's not so bad, that doesn't bother me...
Seriously. I'm not bothered.
socks....
DAMN YOU STEVE!!!!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-09 13:09:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-05-05 08:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-24 12:15:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy crap, I never noticed her ears before...
---
Ruined. I'm sorry
Submitted by EntityErased (user info) at 2006-04-24 12:34:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-24 11:56:11 (#)
Ranking: -1
I thought you were a young woman.
BAHAHAHAHA!
So did I.
Maybe it was the name?
I dunno, but that was kind of funny.
And, are those actually her feet?!
Gross.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-24 12:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy crap, I never noticed her ears before...
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-24 11:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I thought you were a young woman.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-24 11:11:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahaha
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-09 11:14:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:23:11 (#)
Ranking: 1
Steve never gets laid, does he?
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hehe
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:23:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Steve never gets laid, does he?
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:48:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Steve TOTALLY wants to put it in your butt.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-08 03:31:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-02-08 03:29:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
One of my mates ruined Avril for me in the same way.
Sometimes I wonder if you're really me. Then I wonder, if you're me, then who am I? Then I get deep. Then I need to get pissed.
When my liver gives in, I'm coming after yours!
---
http://www.ubersite.com/m/80514 - I've already had someone go for my kidneys. I saw them off, I'll see you off too.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-02-08 03:29:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One of my mates ruined Avril for me in the same way.
Sometimes I wonder if you're really me. Then I wonder, if you're me, then who am I? Then I get deep. Then I need to get pissed.
When my liver gives in, I'm coming after yours!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-08 03:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2006-02-08 03:13:09 (#)
Ranking: 1
"Steve ruins women for me."
Are you a dyke? COOL!
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If only.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2006-02-08 03:15:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"So Wachel, haff you got rebbed feet then?"
==
this made me snort a little.
I hate Johnafn Woss
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2006-02-08 03:13:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Steve ruins women for me."
Are you a dyke? COOL!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-08 02:58:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wyellbee (user info) at 2006-02-07 21:40:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am highly amused.
I didn't know who Rachel Stevens was, either. I GIS'ed her, she is indeed gorgeous. I tingled all over, but mostly in my special place.
This picture was on the first page:
http://www.aswejourneyon.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/images/Rachel%20Stevens/Rachel%20on%20Bed.jpg
I sense no webbing
---
Interesting that the shot there is ever so slightly blurred about the feet? A touch of photoshop and the webbing is made all but invisible.
Submitted by Wyellbee (user info) at 2006-02-07 21:40:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am highly amused.
I didn't know who Rachel Stevens was, either. I GIS'ed her, she is indeed gorgeous. I tingled all over, but mostly in my special place.
This picture was on the first page:
http://www.aswejourneyon.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/images/Rachel%20Stevens/Rachel%20on%20Bed.jpg
I sense no webbing.
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-02-07 20:23:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The webbed feet is by far the worst...
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-02-07 15:21:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow, heat.
did you ever watch seinfeld?
he had that problem with women.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 14:52:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's the question. If those feet were attached to a goddess, who would give you the best sex ever experienced by a mortal (and besides the feet, she is otherwise the most beautiful thing ever) ....well....
Would you hit that?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-07 14:41:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That shot at the end absolutely 'roon'd' my appetite.
Now I need to go find shots of nice arches and tended-to toes.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 14:36:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 14:15:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
the normies... why do you deserve lynching right now?
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I would deserve lynching if I had webbed feet.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-02-07 14:33:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 12:25:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
I just walked over to a grocery store to buy lunch. On my way back to the office, I saw a man walking my direction, who's muscles were so .....not big but bulky if that makes any sense, that he could not have his arms straight down at his side. The were curved out at an odd angle. I thought about our conversation and decided when I got back I would comment.
I don't like guys who are overly muscular. I believe that grace and agility are more important than how much you can bench press. I have taken many years of martial arts and it has given me an appreciation for how speed generally can out do musculation every single time. Watching some of the staff fighting (which was my specialty) masters move, how each motion was not only fast but completely controlled made me find beauty in the male form. Before that I thought guys were ugly and bulky. Some are, soem aren't.
------------------------------------------------
Don't get me wrong here, big bulky guys (strongmen) and the bodybuilding guys don't do a thing for me (the body builders particularily gross me out). To give you an idea what I'm talking about: my bf is a mechanic. He has great upper body strength, but he's not so big he can't put his arms down. He has what I call working muscles, they aren't "pretty" but they give him a solid build and get the job done.
Martial arts is a great way to get a lean agile body. Speed and agility will definitely beat size. I tried weight training for 6 months, while it toned it added mass that I didn't want. When I switched to yoga and pilates, it allowed the muscles to tone, but stretch at the same time. This way, I'm strong, but still have a softer shape.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-07 14:31:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You people need to get a "chat room".
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 14:15:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the normies... why do you deserve lynching right now?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 14:09:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think if I had webbed feet I would hide them. Because if I didn't the normies would lynch me. As is their right.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 14:08:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hehe no, i just ask inappropriate questions to people who wear sandals but shouldn't.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 14:01:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 14:00:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
webbing does not grow. and it can be removed. i'm sure she wouldn't notice you packing scissors in the bedroom.
---
Personal experience Katy?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 14:00:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:59:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's something you're born with I believe, so no it doesn't keep growing. In theory you could snip them in the center and remove them and it would never happen again. Bye bye fish feet, hello sex-buddy.
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Best review I have seen in ages. Right - i'm off to get some food.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 14:00:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
webbing does not grow. and it can be removed. i'm sure she wouldn't notice you packing scissors in the bedroom.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:59:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's something you're born with I believe, so no it doesn't keep growing. In theory you could snip them in the center and remove them and it would never happen again. Bye bye fish feet, hello sex-buddy.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fair enough - that's worse than Rachel's. But do you know if webbing continues to grow? Each day this goddess' feet would be getting worse and worse...
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:51:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:49:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
red after looking at them so many times I want to amputate those fucking feet.
....They are really starting to bug me.
---
And I coulda picked a picture of Rachel Stevens masturbating herself as well.
You see how such a little thing can begin to put you off?
----
You call THOSE a little thing? Granted that would suck to have happen to you (or that you are born with it) but fuck man, there's a difference between those feet and some webbing.
I could stand to look at webbing once or twice. Those feet make the word "Genetically impure" float through my mind in a Seig Hiel kind of way. (KIDDING! KIDDING!)
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:51:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:49:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
red after looking at them so many times I want to amputate those fucking feet.
....They are really starting to bug me.
---
And I coulda picked a picture of Rachel Stevens masturbating herself as well.
You see how such a little thing can begin to put you off?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:49:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
red after looking at them so many times I want to amputate those fucking feet.
....They are really starting to bug me.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:48:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Davros - it's low end heat though. Scarcely worth bothering with. Then you get old Berty who posts a 'send me a text message and let me know when you're getting off the train' and he gets most heated for days.
He's too goddamn popular with his not liking music and pinning laydees down and breathing on them heavily as he crotch rogers them.
There's no justice
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:46:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DrRobertHand (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:39:20 (#)
Ranking: -2
So you won't fuck someone because their nose is abnormal (and it isn't even)? I am very sorry, you're going to have a lonely life.
---
Stop fucking your hand for a minute and look up and perhaps then i'll listen to your opinion.
Post something or shut the fuck up.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:45:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Two MH posts Red.
w00t.
-Dave
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:43:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Robert I refer you to this. Ahem:
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:37:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:32:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just don't show him your girlfriend for christs sake. It'll ruin life
----
I'd love to hear that conversation.
red: Hey 'Steve' here is my girlfriend Jenny!
Steve: Oh hi Jenny. I think your lips are too small, your ass is flat and I see a bulge where you tucked your penis back.
Jenny:......
Red:.....
Steve: I hope I didn't ruin her for you. If it's any consolation Jenny has a very pronounced adams apple.
Jenny: *shocked silence*
Red: *takes note of Jenny's pronounce adams apple*
Steve: So Jenny. How are those Mexican botch doctors? I can see a faint discoloration along your collar bone that shows you had some work done.
Jenny:......Huh?
Red: Yeah she is an ugly bitch. I want to make out with you 'Steve'.
Steve: Let's do it buddy.
*Steve and red make out and Jenny leaves to start a punk rock band that becomes a world wide success until it is revealed she slept with Tony Blair in a sex scandel. Steve and red get married and adopt 4 chinese girls and move to Liverpool because I am American and will assume that is a good place to raise 4 chinese girls.*
Submitted by DrRobertHand (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:39:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
So you won't fuck someone because their nose is abnormal (and it isn't even)? I am very sorry, you're going to have a lonely life.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-07 13:00:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
how did this shit get ninety reveiws?
fuckin 'a.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 12:36:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
favorite subjects*
yes still attached to the owners.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 12:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
totally agreed with you two on muscle forms there. i do a bunch of figure drawing and crap and my subjects are female torsos. i'm excited cuz my pregnant friend is moving out this way at the end of march and she's going to let me draw and photograph her.
also agreed on sword/gun statement. tim still went ghey.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 12:26:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Swords are awesome. Guns are awesome. Killing death machines are awesome.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 12:25:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-02-07 12:12:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a bit behind in the conversation, forgive me.
A male form does look good in motion, you are right there Voltage. I'm not into big, pretty muscles. I like thicker, working muscles. A nice, strong v-shaped back does it for me.
The best thing on the female form? I'll agree that a graceful neck, shoulder and collarbone combination is alluring. But I would say the hips and belly as it's the core of our movements and the defining part of our silhouette.
----
I just walked over to a grocery store to buy lunch. On my way back to the office, I saw a man walking my direction, who's muscles were so .....not big but bulky if that makes any sense, that he could not have his arms straight down at his side. The were curved out at an odd angle. I thought about our conversation and decided when I got back I would comment.
I don't like guys who are overly muscular. I believe that grace and agility are more important than how much you can bench press. I have taken many years of martial arts and it has given me an appreciation for how speed generally can out do musculation every single time. Watching some of the staff fighting (which was my specialty) masters move, how each motion was not only fast but completely controlled made me find beauty in the male form. Before that I thought guys were ugly and bulky. Some are, soem aren't.
Susie the curve of the female hips to waist to stomach is the most defining feature of a woman. And to me the most attractive.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 12:21:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sidenote: tim's amazingly right about alba and portman, but he then goes ghey, and you all try to swap manly sword stories. wtf?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 12:18:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahah this is all the stuff i missed? awesome
someone told me i looked like liv tyler in lotr once. i couldn't tell if they were just fucking with me, but i know they're wrong so that doesn't matter.
with all this sword talk i almost expect you guys to trade pics of swords like a metal pissing contest.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-02-07 12:12:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a bit behind in the conversation, forgive me.
A male form does look good in motion, you are right there Voltage. I'm not into big, pretty muscles. I like thicker, working muscles. A nice, strong v-shaped back does it for me.
The best thing on the female form? I'll agree that a graceful neck, shoulder and collarbone combination is alluring. But I would say the hips and belly as it's the core of our movements and the defining part of our silhouette.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 11:32:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HV - get yourself a zombie, stab your zombie through each limb and use it as a rack.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 11:30:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why do I have four swords? To make up for my small penis!!!
No honestly? I don't know. The first one I bought had no edge. I thought I would be content to just have a cool looking piece that no one would touch, but inevitably everyone asks to hold it and then the follow up question is "Why isn't it sharp?"
Then I got a double katana set from my uncle who was moving and didn't want to deal with moving the swords with him. They were ornamental meaning they too have no edge but are real Japanese make so I couldn't turn them down because come on, they were free. And I think he would just throw them away if I didn't take them which would be a horrible waste.
The fourth.... (my favorite) is a straight zaitchi katana. All black. Very cool. Very sharp. I was going through the mall with my gf (who knows I love weapons) and I saw it in the back of a knife shop. I stopped in just to look at it but my gf played the devils advocate and convinced me to buy it.
So I have four swords....If something catchs my eye I would probably buy more, but I would need to get a big rack or display to put them on.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-02-07 11:25:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:40:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
....
....
My doesn't he have a big gun.
-Dave
------
I do love the British.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 11:19:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why 4 swords? Have you got 4 hands?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 11:18:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 11:13:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
I have already had hot ninja sex with ghola. I stole her magic ninja power crystal and now her soul is mine....
Or something.
I did rape her silly while she was drunk and unconscious.
And I have several swords. 4 in fact.
---
Cool
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 11:13:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have already had hot ninja sex with ghola. I stole her magic ninja power crystal and now her soul is mine....
Or something.
I did rape her silly while she was drunk and unconscious.
And I have several swords. 4 in fact.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 11:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ghola has a sword.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 11:07:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That pic didn't help your case.
I liked her best I think in Van Helsing.
http://www.blackmailmag.com/images/CINEMA/Van-Helsing1.jpg
PS. Chicks with swords are hot....
http://www.metachimp.com/media/arwen.jpg
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 11:00:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://vatzhol.club.fr/img4/Shooting037.jpg
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Though now I'm doubting it myself.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I never saw Shooting Fish. If you can find me a pic I'll tell you.
My first serious gf had short hair. Everytime she gave me head I would look down and just see a head of short brown hair and for that moment, that single moment, I thought "Oh shit IT'S A GUY!"
So generally no I don't like short hair, but show me a pic and I'll decide. I am not completely shut off to the whole thing, it's just that well.... You understand why I thought that.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:53:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:51:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
I did not like her in Underworld.
Too gothy. Too much "OMFG I am TOTTALY a vampyre!"
"U r soooo KEWL U SPELLED VAMPIRE WITH A 'Y'!"
"I KNO!!!!!!!!11!!1!1!!"
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Opening scene was a close up of her arse in tight leather pants though.
I am ambivalent towards her clothing in that film.
What about in Shooting Fish - or does short hair worry you? If a lass has the cheekbones, she can get away with it.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:51:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I did not like her in Underworld.
Too gothy. Too much "OMFG I am TOTTALY a vampyre!"
"U r soooo KEWL U SPELLED VAMPIRE WITH A 'Y'!"
"I KNO!!!!!!!!11!!1!1!!"
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:49:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kate Beckinsale in Underworld has guns and a nice arse.
Sadly, her breast surgery was botched.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:45:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dave that is because guns are cool.
http://zerro.cool.free.fr/Images/big_gun.jpg
Would not want to be in front of that.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:44:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
-------------
My doesn't he have a big gun.
-Dave
---
I wouldn't go there.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:31:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to say though that men look (and note the word I am using) cooler than women. Men can fill that role of evil or mysterious (in my eyes) easier than women can. Now women can look evil and mysterious, it just takes a bit more effort than a guy would have to. The angular lines of a well defined mans face gives him a look you don't really have to mess with to make look....cool. I hate using the word cool but that is just how I can describe it.
I hate to post an anime pic on here but this is an example.
http://web.mit.edu/darviso/www/images/cool/trigun004.jpg
And just so anyone asks, I did a google.images search for "Cool" and that was a result.
-------------
My doesn't he have a big gun.
-Dave
Submitted by Broken_Bird (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:33:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds like Steve is an ass
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:31:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to say though that men look (and note the word I am using) cooler than women. Men can fill that role of evil or mysterious (in my eyes) easier than women can. Now women can look evil and mysterious, it just takes a bit more effort than a guy would have to. The angular lines of a well defined mans face gives him a look you don't really have to mess with to make look....cool. I hate using the word cool but that is just how I can describe it.
I hate to post an anime pic on here but this is an example.
http://web.mit.edu/darviso/www/images/cool/trigun004.jpg
And just so anyone asks, I did a google.images search for "Cool" and that was a result.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:30:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:28:01 (#)
Ranking: 1
don't get me wrong here...i am the KING of making small insignificant things piss me off to the point of disliking someone, but steve is a fucking retard.
i don't care if tara reid talked like darth vader, i would still beat that stuffing up.
and what possible beef could anyone have with jessica alba? you could drive a steamroller over her face and she'd still be 100 times hotter than any girl any of us have ever seen naked. small (but wicked perky) tits? thats the price you pay for having a PERFECT athletic body, and frankly, it's one i'm glad to pay.
and natalie portman? hottest jew ever.
---
Tim has restored my faith in womankind!
Steve is a retard. I'm sure he'd agree.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:28:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
don't get me wrong here...i am the KING of making small insignificant things piss me off to the point of disliking someone, but steve is a fucking retard.
i don't care if tara reid talked like darth vader, i would still beat that stuffing up.
and what possible beef could anyone have with jessica alba? you could drive a steamroller over her face and she'd still be 100 times hotter than any girl any of us have ever seen naked. small (but wicked perky) tits? thats the price you pay for having a PERFECT athletic body, and frankly, it's one i'm glad to pay.
and natalie portman? hottest jew ever.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:25:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
forgiven.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:20:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:06:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
inion as hot as seeing you and Beyonce make out in a post apocalyptic world would be, I think it would take more effort than you could put forth to reproduce with her.
So your list of "People to repopulate the earth" should really only include menz. Unless.....
Are you a tranny?
------------
who the hell said i'd be trying to repopulate the earth? seriously if the world ends before i can release my demon spawn into the population i'm seriously just going to look for humans to fuck. i don't know how many batteries will survive the apocalypse and if i run out i will need other toys.
----
Sorry forgot who I was talking to for a second.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:19:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Red you raise a good point. When women stand they can look good in several positions. The only way that men, while standing, look (and this is in my opinion) at all impressive and not just plain goofy is a military at rest stance. Feet about a foot and a half apart, chest straight, arms folded behind the back. It still cannot compare to the things women can do with simple things like a staggered, one foot forward and one foot back, stance. Even doing things like tilting their head shows off the beauty of the female neck lines....
---
Blokes are based on straight lines as I said. In any fashion magazine you'll note these very features are exaggerated. Men are posed in straight lines, never a sloppy curve. Watch how couples move together. The sway of a woman's hips versus the straight perambulation of the man.
/art rant.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:19:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Red you raise a good point. When women stand they can look good in several positions. The only way that men, while standing, look (and this is in my opinion) at all impressive and not just plain goofy is a military at rest stance. Feet about a foot and a half apart, chest straight, arms folded behind the back. It still cannot compare to the things women can do with simple things like a staggered, one foot forward and one foot back, stance. Even doing things like tilting their head shows off the beauty of the female neck lines....
---
Blokes are based on straight lines as I said. In any fashion magazine you'll note these very features are exaggerated. Men are posed in straight lines, never a sloppy curve. Watch how couples move together. The sway of a woman's hips versus the straight perambulation of the man.
/art rant.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:20:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:06:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
inion as hot as seeing you and Beyonce make out in a post apocalyptic world would be, I think it would take more effort than you could put forth to reproduce with her.
So your list of "People to repopulate the earth" should really only include menz. Unless.....
Are you a tranny?
------------
who the hell said i'd be trying to repopulate the earth? seriously if the world ends before i can release my demon spawn into the population i'm seriously just going to look for humans to fuck. i don't know how many batteries will survive the apocalypse and if i run out i will need other toys.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:19:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Red you raise a good point. When women stand they can look good in several positions. The only way that men, while standing, look (and this is in my opinion) at all impressive and not just plain goofy is a military at rest stance. Feet about a foot and a half apart, chest straight, arms folded behind the back. It still cannot compare to the things women can do with simple things like a staggered, one foot forward and one foot back, stance. Even doing things like tilting their head shows off the beauty of the female neck lines....
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:15:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Note how they stand too. A woman can raise one hip to accentuate that triangle with just a shift of a leg. This is something that men really go for. Men don't get to be as dynamic when at rest.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:12:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:08:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:39:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:33:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeez guys are so stupidly picky. Look in the mirror, chump. Women over all are waaaayyy more attractive than men.
----
I always tell my girlfriend I don't understand why she enjoys the male form. It is so....I dunno. Uninviting. Sure in certain instances it can be impressive, but women are just much more soft, beautiful, and ....uh....shiny.
-------------
I took a life drawing class in college. The female form does have a lot more interest to it with more curves, less hair (except for the hippie models) etc. But there is something about the male form that interests us, obviously, otherwise we'd all be lesbians. That would help curb population, but...whatever.
----
I will say this in all seriousness (and I am going to be accused of being ghey but whatever).
Men while doing things like running or moving, I find to be cooler looking than women doing the same thing. The action of running or walking accentuates muscles that otherwise go unnoticed, and as DaVinci showed, that is where the beauty of the human form shows.
But I cannot deny what I feel to be true, which is that while men may be impressive in video art, women are the statues. Women, when posing, or just standing and smiling, can be goddesses. Men just cannot compare at rest because lets face it, that's not what they are built to do. When I stand in front of a mirror with my gf, I look at her compared to me and think "Oh my god. It's like she is an angel...And I am a mere mortal standing next to her.". Women are....gah.
Women are teh prettiness.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:10:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
-------------
I took a life drawing class in college. The female form does have a lot more interest to it with more curves, less hair (except for the hippie models) etc. But there is something about the male form that interests us, obviously, otherwise we'd all be lesbians. That would help curb population, but...whatever.
Wednesday does indeed have a huge forehead, but then again, so does Tyra Banks. Sorry, I may have ruined Tyra now, she's a stunning woman but I can't get past the forehead.
---
*sobs* Tyra. ruined.
As for life drawing, you're quite right. It is always nicer to work with the appealing young women then the blokes.
Women are more curvy and organic beziers, while blokes are based on angular lines. More chiselled so to speak.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:39:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:33:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeez guys are so stupidly picky. Look in the mirror, chump. Women over all are waaaayyy more attractive than men.
----
I always tell my girlfriend I don't understand why she enjoys the male form. It is so....I dunno. Uninviting. Sure in certain instances it can be impressive, but women are just much more soft, beautiful, and ....uh....shiny.
-------------
I took a life drawing class in college. The female form does have a lot more interest to it with more curves, less hair (except for the hippie models) etc. But there is something about the male form that interests us, obviously, otherwise we'd all be lesbians. That would help curb population, but...whatever.
Wednesday does indeed have a huge forehead, but then again, so does Tyra Banks. Sorry, I may have ruined Tyra now, she's a stunning woman but I can't get past the forehead.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:08:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Only the cockroaches and Beyonce would survive. What's a guy to do?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:06:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
inion as hot as seeing you and Beyonce make out in a post apocalyptic world would be, I think it would take more effort than you could put forth to reproduce with her.
So your list of "People to repopulate the earth" should really only include menz. Unless.....
Are you a tranny?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:05:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:02:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
ick she just makes my skin crawl. she's up there on my "not if the world was obliterated and these were the last people on earth, let alone last celebrities, to fuck" list. just one of those things i guess. hating her music sure doesn't help her situation. i dunno maybe if she didn't wear gold lame hot pants jump suits i'd be more inclined to molest her.
---
You can't let the music get in the way. We're talking superficiality here! Rachel Stevens may be a horrible person in real life. But if she spent some time with a pair of nail scissors cutting out her feetflaps I'd do her. Do you see? Personality just gets in the way of superficiality.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ick she just makes my skin crawl. she's up there on my "not if the world was obliterated and these were the last people on earth, let alone last celebrities, to fuck" list. just one of those things i guess. hating her music sure doesn't help her situation. i dunno maybe if she didn't wear gold lame hot pants jump suits i'd be more inclined to molest her.
Submitted by Kidmc (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:57:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Just for the Johnothan Ross part . ha ha he
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:53:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:47:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
What's wrong with Beyonce? Sure she isn't my first (or 10th) pick, but she is very very attractive.
---
I'd agree with that.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:47:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What's wrong with Beyonce? Sure she isn't my first (or 10th) pick, but she is very very attractive.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:45:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:44:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha. but ew beyonce? *gag*
---
Another woman ruined for me?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:44:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha. but ew beyonce? *gag*
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:40:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:37:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:32:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just don't show him your girlfriend for christs sake. It'll ruin life
----
I'd love to hear that conversation.
red: Hey 'Steve' here is my girlfriend Jenny!
Steve: Oh hi Jenny. I think your lips are too small, your ass is flat and I see a bulge where you tucked your penis back.
Jenny:......
Red:.....
Steve: I hope I didn't ruin her for you. If it's any consolation Jenny has a very pronounced adams apple.
Jenny: *shocked silence*
Red: *takes note of Jenny's pronounce adams apple*
Steve: So Jenny. How are those Mexican botch doctors? I can see a faint discoloration along your collar bone that shows you had some work done.
Jenny:......Huh?
Red: Yeah she is an ugly bitch. I want to make out with you 'Steve'.
Steve: Let's do it buddy.
*Steve and red make out and Jenny leaves to start a punk rock band that becomes a world wide success until it is revealed she slept with Tony Blair in a sex scandel. Steve and red get married and adopt 4 chinese girls and move to Liverpool because I am American and will assume that is a good place to raise 4 chinese girls.*
---
Spookily accurate.
And also fucking hilarious.
I am paranoid about adams apples though.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:39:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:33:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeez guys are so stupidly picky. Look in the mirror, chump. Women over all are waaaayyy more attractive than men.
----
I always tell my girlfriend I don't understand why she enjoys the male form. It is so....I dunno. Uninviting. Sure in certain instances it can be impressive, but women are just much more soft, beautiful, and ....uh....shiny.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:38:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:36:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the squishy ones the best. The ones that don't get freaked out if you deliberately make them sneeze during sex.
---
Pert, warm and wriggly.
and mute.
obviously
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:37:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:32:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just don't show him your girlfriend for christs sake. It'll ruin life
----
I'd love to hear that conversation.
red: Hey 'Steve' here is my girlfriend Jenny!
Steve: Oh hi Jenny. I think your lips are too small, your ass is flat and I see a bulge where you tucked your penis back.
Jenny:......
Red:.....
Steve: I hope I didn't ruin her for you. If it's any consolation Jenny has a very pronounced adams apple.
Jenny: *shocked silence*
Red: *takes note of Jenny's pronounce adams apple*
Steve: So Jenny. How are those Mexican botch doctors? I can see a faint discoloration along your collar bone that shows you had some work done.
Jenny:......Huh?
Red: Yeah she is an ugly bitch. I want to make out with you 'Steve'.
Steve: Let's do it buddy.
*Steve and red make out and Jenny leaves to start a punk rock band that becomes a world wide success until it is revealed she slept with Tony Blair in a sex scandel. Steve and red get married and adopt 4 chinese girls and move to Liverpool because I am American and will assume that is a good place to raise 4 chinese girls.*
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:36:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the squishy ones the best. The ones that don't get freaked out if you deliberatly make them sneeze during sex.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:34:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:33:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeez guys are so stupidly picky. Look in the mirror, chump. Women over all are waaaayyy more attractive than men.
---
Fister - you are right. They're curvy and lovely.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:33:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeez guys are so stupidly picky. Look in the mirror, chump. Women over all are waaaayyy more attractive than men.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:32:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:31:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am now firmly convinced red is bi-curious.
---
hehe
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:32:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just don't show him your girlfriend for christs sake. It'll ruin life
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:31:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am now firmly convinced red is bi-curious.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:30:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:29:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:25:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Not at all, she does have a large forehead. Like a puppy.
---
ATTN BSTIAL MENZ?
-------------------------
Simple equation for human beauty:
Symetrical face + big eyes + big forehead + soft head hair (or possibly facial hair for the menfolk. Not too sure about that to be honest) = purrty.
This is why people find puppies cute, they've got all those features.
---
I am a sucker for big eyes. Big forehead - hmmm - to a point. I think that Wednesday lass is a touch bulbous. If I did do her, it would be doggy style only...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:29:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:25:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Not at all, she does have a large forehead. Like a puppy.
---
ATTN BSTIAL MENZ?
-------------------------
Simple equation for human beauty:
Symetrical face + big eyes + big forehead + soft head hair (or possibly facial hair for the menfolk. Not too sure about that to be honest) = purrty.
This is why people find puppies cute, they've got all those features.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:29:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:26:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay red here is your test.
http://community.middlebury.edu/~smuhlfel/celebs/tr1.jpg
Look at this.
Look at it hard.
If you say no to this...
I will be firmly convinced you are gay.
---
I would definitely go there. However, I'd not want her to talk. Or groan in too manly a fashion.
Little feminine moans only.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:26:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay red here is your test.
http://community.middlebury.edu/~smuhlfel/celebs/tr1.jpg
Look at this.
Look at it hard.
If you say no to this...
I will be firmly convinced you are gay.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:26:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:24:31 (#)
Ranking: 1
Why are you friends with 'Steve'?
He sounds like a plonk.
---
He lets me beat him at Pro Evolution Soccer. Over and over and over. It is gratifying.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:25:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not at all, she does have a large forehead. Like a puppy.
---
ATTN BSTIAL MENZ?
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Why are you friends with 'Steve'?
He sounds like a plonk.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:24:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
------
....TARA REID?!?!
Okay dude, this is a sign of something deeper than just Steve. Steve couldn't influence you so readily if you weren't so willing to be influenced. If you didn't already have some reason to see through the beauty of these women. I bet Steve doesn't even exist does he? Steve is just the name of that nagging voice in the back of your head that says "Poon isn't nearly as nice as that guys ass over there.". 'Steve' is the one who tells you why you shouldn't be attracted to women. 'Steve' is the dissenting opinion in an otherwise heterosexual red. And not only that, 'Steve' seems to have veto power! He is not just a little voice that adds an opinion, he has the final yes or no!
STEVE IS RED'S GAY SIDE!
Because I don't care what you say about her, all those women, I would bone in a heartbeat.
Except for the webbed feet thing....That's just plain weird.
---
I'm gonna tell him that. He would probably feel quite honoured.
I have spent much time sitting trying to work out if I would let it bother me. At my most superficial level - yes it would bother me. Though if she were curld up against me, her cute ass pressing against my groin, her little feet rubbing against my...
damn.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:23:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:22:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:20:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Natalie Portman in Leon is the proof that all men are paedo's. Her and that bird who played Wednseday Adams in the movie. I'd like to sit that on my knee.
---
I know someone who used to fancy old Wednesday. She has a large forehead though don't you think?
Sorry.
---------
Not at all, she does have a large forehead. Like a puppy.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:22:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:20:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Natalie Portman in Leon is the proof that all men are paedo's. Her and that bird who played Wednseday Adams in the movie. I'd like to sit that on my knee.
---
I know someone who used to fancy old Wednesday. She has a large forehead though don't you think?
Sorry.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:21:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:18:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:15:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sin City is my favorite movie of the 2000 era. Everything in that movie was great. That was where Alba really caught my eye though. She was so exotic, so colorful and bright even in the film noir, she was like an angel amongst all the dirt and grime.
I'm sure they did that on purpose, but you need a beautiful foundation to create something like that. You can't airbrush Urbane to look like Tyra Banks.
---
Urbane was before my time.
'Steve' ruined Tara Reid for me. In a 'yeah but half way through she'd have to have her tracheochtomy tube replaced. Due to all her smoking. That's why she sounds like that.'
'It's not so bad...'
'Sure it is - she's got a deeper voice than you Red'
'what? fuck you'
*deep voice* 'Fuck me Red! - ooh wait - let me a cigarette first'
------
....TARA REID?!?!
Okay dude, this is a sign of something deeper than just Steve. Steve couldn't influence you so readily if you weren't so willing to be influenced. If you didn't already have some reason to see through the beauty of these women. I bet Steve doesn't even exist does he? Steve is just the name of that nagging voice in the back of your head that says "Poon isn't nearly as nice as that guys ass over there.". 'Steve' is the one who tells you why you shouldn't be attracted to women. 'Steve' is the dissenting opinion in an otherwise heterosexual red. And not only that, 'Steve' seems to have veto power! He is not just a little voice that adds an opinion, he has the final yes or no!
STEVE IS RED'S GAY SIDE!
Because I don't care what you say about her, all those women, I would bone in a heartbeat.
Except for the webbed feet thing....That's just plain weird.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:20:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Natalie Portman in Leon is the proof that all men are paedo's. Her and that bird who played Wednseday Adams in the movie. I'd like to sit that on my knee.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:18:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:15:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sin City is my favorite movie of the 2000 era. Everything in that movie was great. That was where Alba really caught my eye though. She was so exotic, so colorful and bright even in the film noir, she was like an angel amongst all the dirt and grime.
I'm sure they did that on purpose, but you need a beautiful foundation to create something like that. You can't airbrush Urbane to look like Tyra Banks.
---
Urbane was before my time.
'Steve' ruined Tara Reid for me. In a 'yeah but half way through she'd have to have her tracheochtomy tube replaced. Due to all her smoking. That's why she sounds like that.'
'It's not so bad...'
'Sure it is - she's got a deeper voice than you Red'
'what? fuck you'
*deep voice* 'Fuck me Red! - ooh wait - let me a cigarette first'
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:15:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sin City is my favorite movie of the 2000 era. Everything in that movie was great. That was where Alba really caught my eye though. She was so exotic, so colorful and bright even in the film noir, she was like an angel amongst all the dirt and grime.
I'm sure they did that on purpose, but you need a beautiful foundation to create something like that. You can't airbrush Urbane to look like Tyra Banks.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:13:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She was gorgeous in Sin City too
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:11:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:09:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit - I meant Fantastic Four - sorry HV
----
Oh yeah. She was airbrushed in that. But that whole movie sucked ass. I don't even consider it existed.
In fact....
I have no idea what movie you are talking about. Don't look at my agents confiscating every DVD copy of Fantastic Four and burning them. Look away.
Not a conspiracy.....
I SAID IT ISN'T!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:11:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:08:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sure that she is air brushed, but one of the most shocking thing is that in Punk'd she was just like any girl you'd see on the street. No helpful lighting or camera work... And she was drop dead gorgeous. It's the only reason I finished watching that episode.
---
Do you mean "it's the only reason I finished, watching that episode.' ?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:09:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit - I meant Fantastic Four - sorry HV
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:09:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As much as I totally could be, I fear I'm simply not fussy enough to let any of those things bother me enough.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:08:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:06:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
I just googled Rachel Stevens.
I want to have her babies.
---
She'd spawn some lovely little tadpoles.
erm, I mean babies.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:01:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
And Avril Lavigne does so write her own songs.
_______________________________________
This explains why she hasn't had a hit in years. But frankly, I'm not keen on seeing another....
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:08:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:05:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jessica Alba: Dude. If you ever saw her in her episode of Punk'd, you'd know she has a nice set of breasts.
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Steve has referred to her as 'Bee Stings' for over 18 months. And then there was all that stuff about her being airbrushed in X Men. It's not like I really believe it. But Steve has a way of getting into my head...
----
Just so you know, yes I am camping.
She wasn't in X-Men.
I'm sure that she is air brushed, but one of the most shocking thing is that in Punk'd she was just like any girl you'd see on the street. No helpful lighting or camera work... And she was drop dead gorgeous. It's the only reason I finished watching that episode.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:07:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I have the same Natalie Portman thing going on.
-Dave
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:07:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rocketman (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:06:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
Now you've ruined Rachel Stevens for me too. Faglet.
---
I'm so sooooo sorry.
Perhaps in your first post you could redeem her?
Faglet <-- I'm not sure what to make of that. Is that like a little gay?
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:06:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd still do them all....
I was in love with Jessica Alba long before she became the household name...like, before "Idle Hands"...she used to do me so well in my slumber...
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just googled Rachel Stevens.
I want to have her babies.
Submitted by rocketman (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:06:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Now you've ruined Rachel Stevens for me too. Faglet.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:06:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What.the.Fuck.
You second guessed yourself on Natalie fucking Portman? That's it. You're fired. You're banished from the land. Go back to your tower! Your Manhood Passport is hereby revoked. Good day, sir!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:05:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jessica Alba: Dude. If you ever saw her in her episode of Punk'd, you'd know she has a nice set of breasts.
---
Steve has referred to her as 'Bee Stings' for over 18 months. And then there was all that stuff about her being airbrushed in X Men. It's not like I really believe it. But Steve has a way of getting into my head...
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:04:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*ejaculates*
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:03:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay here's my spiel.
Avril: So what if she can't play guitar. Do you want her to serenade you in bed?
Natalie: I had the same reaction. She is teh hotness in Episode 2. When I heard she was in (I always knew the movie as 'The Proffessional') that movie at 12 I thought "Really? Man that kinda....ruins the mood. Oh well she is hot now."
Then I saw her in Episode 3. She looked horrible. Actually downright repugnant in certain scenes. Ruined it for me.
Rachel: I had to google images her. I had never heard of her before. Scratch that. I had HEARD of her, but didn't have a face to connect with a name. But....webbed feet does kind of ruin it for me too....
And my addition:
Jessica Alba: Dude. If you ever saw her in her episode of Punk'd, you'd know she has a nice set of breasts.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:01:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:01:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve is gay. And Avril Lavigne does so write her own songs.
---
Look at her nose though! Damn it *weeps emo tears*
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:01:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve is gay. And Avril Lavigne does so write her own songs.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-07 08:58:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not the greatest links there. I'm sorry.