Of Love and Envy (807 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ahumblefool (View user info) at 2006-02-08 14:39:28 EST
"Do you take this woman...?"
Watching her at the alter my mind wanders back eight years as I begin to feel the first tears leave my eyes and crawl down my cheek..
"I don't think you should do this," I said.
She looked up at me once again with her beautiful brown eyes, the answer shone through the tears, but I did not want to see the only choice we had, it was a sacrifice that she had to make, and one that I would live with for the rest of my life.
"You know this is the only way," she sighed.
How do you accept that a woman who has been by your side for 28 years will no longer be there to support you? Can you find another soul-mate or are you destined to live the rest of your life waning for something that can never be again?
"There...we can wait a little longer. We can see if anything happens in the next 48 hours. We can give it a little more time," I pleaded.
She reached up to me with her hand and stroked my face that was raw from crying. Her hand that had caressed my body, rubbed my shoulders after a long days work, hands that had held me when my father passed away. I gently grabbed her hand and kissed her palm, smelling the medicinal scent that flowed through her pores. The white walls of the room seemed to be bearing down on me, the smells surrounded me, taunting, haunting my mind.
"What am I going to do without you? I have known no one else in so long? I can't do this, I can not survive it," I sobbed into her hand.
"You will be strong, you will be strong for her." She said.
My mind is drawn back to the ceremony as the priest says, "Do you take this man...." And instantly the floodgates open, eight years of grief and pain flow from my body in waves of despair.
"William, it is time, we need to begin," the doctor said through the open door.
"Please just a few more moments, just give me a few more moments."
"I am so sorry, but we need to begin now in order for this to go smoothly. She is prepped, we have to start. I am sorry."
Bethany takes her hand from mine, and I lean in and kiss her lips for the last time. I can not stop crying, I want to be strong for her but I can't, I know that my life will never be the same again. Changed from this instant forward.
"William, my sweet William. You will find another, it will be hard but you will. She deserves the chances we had. To find love, to bear children of her own. No mother should outlive her child," Bethany said. "Tell her how much I love her, that I wanted to be there for her, that I wanted to see her wedding day."
"I love you. I will watch over you," she said. And then she was gone.
"You may kiss the bride."
I watch as my daughter, now 24, walks down the aisle with her husband. She turns to me and smiles. I hope that she thinks that the tears that fall from my eyes are tears of joy. I have spent eight years split between love and envy. Love for the daughter who everyday looks more and more like my beloved Bethany, and envy for the heart that beats in her chest. A heart that once belonged to me.
User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-03 16:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-21 17:15:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For God so loved the world, he gave us his one and only humblefool.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-14 13:55:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice stuff.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-02-09 09:00:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes.
Now, I must go and emote.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-02-09 06:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Powerful.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2006-02-08 22:39:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad at all.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-02-08 21:34:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-02-08 20:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is very good.
Consider yourself encouraged to expand this idea into a longer version.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-02-08 16:56:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-08 16:27:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-02-08 16:06:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
You write well enough that I would have believed this was a true story
__________________
Thank you
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-02-08 16:06:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You write well enough that I would have believed this was a true story
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:32:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:14:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
I definitely would not fantasize about raising a child alone. I can't even take care of the pets by myself. Sam will go out of town and the cats follow me around screaming for days on end. Turns out you have to feed cats, who knew.
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Meh... it's harder to keep quiet about where you hid the body...uh...I...mean...uh
HEY LOOK IT'S SNOWING!!!
*runs away*
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<weeps>
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:16:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:14:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I definitely would not fantasize about raising a child alone. I can't even take care of the pets by myself. Sam will go out of town and the cats follow me around screaming for days on end. Turns out you have to feed cats, who knew.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:06:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this ain't no holiday, and shit always turns out this way.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:05:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YOU'RE for Fing Sake!
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:03:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
What's worse...my next post was going to involve this subject, but for some reason I felt drawn away from it. Going three in a row with this would have just been creepy.
Mayhaps we're all drinking the same contaminated water.
____________________
Great minds think a like...
No, you are probably right, the water, gotta be the water. Like in that movie "The Curse."
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:04:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:59:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
are you having fantasies about offing the wife?
cause that's illegal you know
_______________________
If your caught.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:03:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What's worse...my next post was going to involve this subject, but for some reason I felt drawn away from it. Going three in a row with this would have just been creepy.
Mayhaps we're all drinking the same contaminated water.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:03:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:59:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I want to go watch Return to Me.
Not because of this, but because David Duchovny's the shit.
This was...wow.
Great stuff.
Mind if I "borrow" it for my Ubertines entry?
___________________________
Be my guest.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:02:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:01:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
That's creepy man. five minutes apart? I swear I didn't see yours before I wrote this. hopefully it's obvious I couldn't have.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/83654
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:59:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I want to go watch Return to Me.
Not because of this, but because David Duchovny's the shit.
This was...wow.
Great stuff.
Mind if I "borrow" it for my Ubertines entry?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:59:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
are you having fantasies about offing the wife?
cause that's illegal you know
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:50:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh humble. You player you.
That didn't make much sense in context of the post, but I felt it needed to be said.
Carry on.
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:49:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Chills.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:48:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice - poignant but not schmaltzy.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:47:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:45:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:44:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:42:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
was this true?
___________________________
No, just a story.
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that makes it even better..
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:44:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:44:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:42:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
was this true?
___________________________
No, just a story.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:42:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
was this true?
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:42:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and another...
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:42:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:42:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yowza.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:42:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dang...