I Carry Your Heart - UberTines Consolation Round (562 hits)
Category: RomanceLabels: Ubertines_ '06
Rating: 1.75 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <brdn_nkd.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-02-08 14:54:38 EST
I've never met you but I carry your heart with me and because of your gift am alive this Valentines Day and free to love.
________________________________________________________________________
I met John two years ago in my college psych class. We talked off and on during classes until the professor paired us for a project in class. The next few weeks we spent a lot of time together trying to complete our assignment. When the assignment was done we found other reasons to spend time with each other.
When I discovered that I loved him I felt the heartache and heartbreak that this revelation has always brought with it, knowing I would have to push him away so that he didn't lose when I lost.
I am still losing but I have a bittersweet joy that John would not allow me to shield him from the pain by giving in to my demands that he exit my life. It's slow, this decline, but as young as I am I still feel the coming end. The doctors try to comfort me, try to encourage me, and insist that the right donor will come along in time but I'm having a hard time believing it. John tries to comfort me, encourage me, and give his love to make what time I have on this earth all that it can be.
I never expected John to react the way that he did when I told him my situation. Every other guy I've gotten close to has either tried to use me, knowing my time is short, or has run as fast as he could to avoid being part of my "drama". John though, he took me in his arms and gave nothing but his love. I suspected he was a user for a while but his treatment of me didn't change; he treated me with the kindness, compassion, and openness that I'd come to love him for. He stands by me today knowing that each day could be my last and I feel somewhat selfish keeping him with me through this but he refuses to have it any other way.
He stands by me today as the doctor tells me of a potential donor, my last chance really, and his optimism and hope is almost contagious. I can almost believe that this time the donor will be a match for me, that this time I can hope for a more normal, longer life. This man that I love holds hope for both of us and continues to give me the strength to continue to hope for myself.
________________________________________________________________________
"C'mon man, you can do it. I've seen you do bigger than this besides a bet's a bet."
"Alright, fuck it then."
Those were the last words of my life. I'm sure of it. I don't even really know how I'm able to continue these thoughts because I most certainly should be dead. Maybe this is the afterlife. Whatever. I knew I shouldn't have listened to his dumb ass. Yeah, I've done bigger but I've never allowed myself to be goaded into one like this one, if it felt wrong, it felt wrong.
Looking across the empty space between the two buildings I couldn't figure out why it felt wrong but I knew I shouldn't have tried that jump. Maybe it would have been alright on a different day but today it was wrong. Maybe it was the wind, or the orange tint of the sky as the sun began its daily descent over the horizon, or maybe I just didn't have it in me.
I backed away from the edge of the hospital roof and ran back toward it. As I started the leap, that should have carried me across the alley between the hospital and the school, my toe caught on a loose roof tile. I could feel my arms pin wheeling frantically as I tried to catch myself before sailing over the edge of the roof. I fell eight stories. I can honestly say that life has never been so vivid before. I can honestly say that I never realized just how fast life can pass you by. During my fall I saw how beautiful it all is, I saw how fleeting it is, I saw what a waste it can be.
I heard the smack of my head hitting the pavement and whether I imagined or felt the shards of my skull pushing through my brain, I don't know, but the sickening wet sound that accompanied all of this confirmed that my head lost the fight.
________________________________________________________________________
I've never met you but I carry your heart with me and because of your gift am alive this Valentines Day and free to love.
Free to love, to give of myself without reservation or fear. It's been nearly a year since the accident that ended your life and gave me new life. I am free and alive because of you and I promise I will not waste the chance you've given me.
I've never met you but I carry your heart with me and because of your gift am alive this Valentines Day and free to love. I'll never forget it.
User Reviews
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-02-10 14:19:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this, cheesy poem and all.
shameless linkwhore
http://www.ubersite.com/m/34443
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-02-09 06:57:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good, but a little scrappy.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-02-08 20:58:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha. Kind of an amusing valentines day post.
This was written a bit differently than most of your pieces. Much heavier on the telling (versus showing).
It was still a good piece though so +2.
At least it was more "valentines"ish than mine.
heh.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-02-08 20:47:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My Competition: http://www.ubersite.com/m/83670
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:25:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sorry to ruin the +2 streak.
This was pretty good, but didn't blow me away. The beginning, where the girl is saying something like "so that he didn't lose when I lost," kind of threw me because I didn't know what she was talking about.
The switch to the guy jumping off the roof also disoriented me a little bit because there was no explanation of who was talking.
The idea was pretty good, though.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-02-08 16:21:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sadly, I have already used it and that is how I found it. I used it in the invitation to get this going but it just seemed so appropriate for this post that, well, fuck it.
Thanks for reading.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-02-08 16:09:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicely done.
On a side note, I found that same picture doing Google searches for my story. Glad I didn't use it now.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:15:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:08:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
bring out your dead...
I'm not dead yet.
I think I could go for a walk.
ghola, I'm sorry but I couldn't touch "My blood just wants to say hello to you"
I started with one idea but it was just going to be horrible besides, once I started with this title it came pretty easily. I started with the cheesy poem by the way.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:08:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bring out your dead...
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:05:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This could have been a winner.
-Dave
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-02-08 15:01:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's creepy man. five minutes apart? I swear I didn't see yours before I wrote this. hopefully it's obvious I couldn't have.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:57:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I carry your heart with me wherever I go
A piece of you with me come rain, sleet, sun or snow
You gave me life, a life I shouldn't have had
When you selflessly gave me the heart that you had
I carry your heart with me though we've never even met
Funny that I got it because you lost a bet
A bet you could do it, something insane
You failed your attempt and you met your bane
I carry your heart with me a gift of new life
New life with my love, with my my love I'm his wife
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:56:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmm....http://www.ubersite.com/m/83653
Conspiracy?
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-02-08 14:56:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now, what would be the odds that you and I would post a story that had an identical theme?