My Love for FilthyAssistant OR Why TTOM is NSFW(Not Safe for Women) (1665 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.35 on 62 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The_taste_of_monkeys (View user info) at 2006-02-08 17:19:39 EST
As promised FA, enjoy.
User Reviews
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-09 18:27:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Astropath (user info) at 2006-02-09 14:03:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
"brain-goblins"= heh heh
I was thinking "Astropath...Astropath...where have I seen that before"
Then I remembered.
you're a Warhammer 40k geek...admit it!
Submitted by Astropath (user info) at 2006-02-09 14:03:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"brain-goblins"= heh heh
Submitted by Astropath (user info) at 2006-02-09 14:01:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
10. Both own geeky assortment of graphic novels -I bought a Tintin graphic novel the other day, I am a master of geekdom BLUE BLISTERING BARNACLES!
=========================
Meh. I read them in the original French. That, and Asterix, Lucky Luke, and Achille Talon.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-09 10:40:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-02-09 02:23:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Heheheheheheh. I like the fact that you list 'small ears' as a redeeming feature.
Let me help you out with your list:
7. Both know who Simon Quinlank is -YAY!
8. Same style glasses -Ive never seen you with glasses except on those 'specialist'websites
9. Same duvet cover -Would you like to share just the one, uh huh huh huh
10. Both own geeky assortment of graphic novels -I bought a Tintin graphic novel the other day, I am a master of geekdom BLUE BLISTERING BARNACLES!
11. Both born with functioning male genitalia -Functioning is a such a strong word for what mine do, barely operational/withered would be more accurate
Can I have my jelly now?
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-09 09:19:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He's not gay, but he'll learn.
Oh, wait, that doesn't remedy the problem at all.
Submitted by Mr_T (user info) at 2006-02-09 09:17:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-02-09 09:08:27 (#)
Ranking: 1
No chance mate, I've been worshipping at a home made Filthy shrine for the past 18 months and that hasn't had any effect.
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You should be worshipping the Mr T shrine you be making, or I be driving my van into your room!!
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-02-09 09:08:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No chance mate, I've been worshipping at a home made Filthy shrine for the past 18 months and that hasn't had any effect.
Submitted by Mr_T (user info) at 2006-02-09 08:28:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Suckah! You be Murdoch's brother! You best not be on the jazz like that suckah.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-02-09 08:16:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah, good luck with that.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-09 04:38:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:11:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:09:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't forget, no accidental unwanted pregnancies either . . . BONUS!!!
Shit, your right! Thats one of my redeeming features also, Im sterile! Most people are probably glad of that fact, including most men I know.
------------------------------
Well thank you, cheers for that the pair of you. You've absouloubtly worried my joke about 'hairless cancer balls'. I hope you're both proud of yourselves.
Check on God! You have a Twa'!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-02-09 03:41:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
11. Both born with functioning male genitalia
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Well.... Who wants cake?
Cake anyone?
Anyone at all?
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-02-09 02:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heheheheheheh. I like the fact that you list 'small ears' as a redeeming feature.
Let me help you out with your list:
7. Both know who Simon Quinlank is
8. Same style glasses
9. Same duvet cover
10. Both own geeky assortment of graphic novels
11. Both born with functioning male genitalia
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-08 23:37:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now THIS is true love right here.
Hopefully she'll check 'yes' and not 'no' or 'I want a restraining order.'
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-02-08 23:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.richardherring.com/warmingup/
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-02-08 23:23:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Deffinately passed C1ndy as the uber camera whore by now. +1 for the moon on a stick
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-02-08 21:34:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Heh.
ETS is going to jump up and down, scream, and tell you that since he pissed on her hair while she was in the bath he owns her. He'll probably ask you to send him a sample of your poop, too.
He's gotten weird lately. :)
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:48:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fist of Fun was a British TV show hosted by Stuart Lee and Richard Herring. It mainly involved high levels of weirdness, a little bit of satire and a fake Rod Hull...who you will also never have heard of.
Perhaps you had to be there.
Come one though, some of the British uberers must remember Fist of Fun and This Morning with Richard not Judy?!
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:37:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:04:46 (#)
+2 for "Moon on a Stick"
If you remember Fist of Fun I love you.youll also get this: "I AM HIM"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I'm going to disappoint you and display my ignorance. I just liked Moon on a Stick. Oh yeah, and the chest burster, too.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-1 for coming off a little desperate.
That was the whole joke really
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I know... but I couldn't really bring myself to +2 anything calling attention to a man's nipples.
Have an extra +0.5 though, on the assumption that I'm going to learn about Fist of Fun and it will turn out to make my life more enjoyable.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:35:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:21:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Voltage, back off my girl Lish or I'll keel you with this guys sword thingy.
THATS RIGHT MONKEYBOY! WHACHOO GONNA DOO?? HUH?
By sword thingy I of course meant his penis.
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'His' penis? You mean mine? Because that'd be pretty spectacular to kill me with my own penis.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:14:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:11:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:57:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Why her?! TAKE MEEEEEEEEE!!
---
Yes take Licious. Please just shut her up!
....
Oops....I meant to say that to myself and write it all out.
I hope I don't click 'Rank'...
==================================
Oh, fuck off, Voltage. Don't you have some marmalade to clean up?
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
You are the only one who remembers that. That's why I love you.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Anything having to do with Moby is not a 'redeeming feature.'
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yiynuhg okoiwao unugitg
aoleli rwitla ewvykm
dheony eewuoo arhywu
deeotr
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fret not, TTOM. We bitch because we love.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:21:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Voltage, back off my girl Lish or I'll keel you with this guys sword thingy.
THATS RIGHT MONKEYBOY! WHACHOO GONNA DOO?? HUH?
By sword thingy I of course meant his penis.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:15:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Theres some serious bitching been caused by this post
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:14:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:11:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:57:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Why her?! TAKE MEEEEEEEEE!!
---
Yes take Licious. Please just shut her up!
....
Oops....I meant to say that to myself and write it all out.
I hope I don't click 'Rank'...
==================================
Oh, fuck off, Voltage. Don't you have some marmalade to clean up?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:11:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:57:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Why her?! TAKE MEEEEEEEEE!!
---
Yes take Licious. Please just shut her up!
....
Oops....I meant to say that to myself and write it all out.
I hope I don't click 'Rank'...
Submitted by queenemily (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:04:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:01:19 (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for "Moon on a Stick"
If you remember Fist of Fun I love you.youll also get this: "I AM HIM"
-1 for coming off a little desperate.
That was the whole joke really
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-02-08 19:01:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for "Moon on a Stick"
-1 for coming off a little desperate.
My eyes are so tired right now after writing a lecture that when I clicked on this I thought it said "Filthy Assassin", which would have been cool because it has twice the ass.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:57:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why her?! TAKE MEEEEEEEEE!!
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:53:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dammit you stole my idea!
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:48:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:32:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
No worries, Ill have him!...unless he's a big stroppy cunt, in which case he can have her.
=============
Why to go. Make the Scots proud, there, with your manliness. I thought...you know...axes to the face...kilts...log tossing...
I mean come on dude. Didn't you beat cancer or sumphin like that? Don't be a wimp!
FIGHT FOR THAT WOMANZ!!
KEEL FO DAT HO!!!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:30:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Who the fuck is this "Brad" person anyway? Her bo or what?
I was wondering that meself.
No worries, Ill have him!...unless he's a big stroppy cunt, in which case he can have her.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:30:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who the fuck is this "Brad" person anyway? Her bo or what?
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:15:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, this should be amusing. I'll come back later to see how this has played out.
Though if Brad doesn't show up and start talking about urine and threaten to kill you in front of your parents, I will be quite cross.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:14:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:13:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, but you settled for Budvar. Sheesh.
As for your weaponry, I doubt those litle arms could hold them up. So there.
cruel but true.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:13:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, but you settled for Budvar. Sheesh.
As for your weaponry, I doubt those litle arms could hold them up. So there.
I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. I think I was just bitter about not being able to purchase your sister with livestock. I'll go now.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:11:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:09:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't forget, no accidental unwanted pregnancies either . . . BONUS!!!
Shit, your right! Thats one of my redeeming features also, Im sterile! Most people are probably glad of that fact, including most men I know.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:09:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't forget, no accidental unwanted pregnancies either . . . BONUS!!!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:08:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:01:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Filthy = hands down sexiest Uber broad. She fights nasty too. I like that.
I'll fight you for her. I'm pretty sure I could take you what with the cancer leaving you all weakish.
Yes but Im a man who owns a cavalry saber and a wakizashi...I have NO idea how to wield them but that would probably make the injuries even more brutal, for both of us.
Did I win the sister auction? No, dreg did by offering me beer.
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Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:05:01 (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting, but it's my personal assumption that Filthy Assistant is a raging bitch who would hound you to an early grave.
Just like every other woman Ive dated, Im just attracted to evil/insane women.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:05:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting, but it's my personal assumption that Filthy Assistant is a raging bitch who would hound you to an early grave.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:01:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooh ooh I thought of a comeback finally - I wasn't giving you my opinion gaytard, I was telling you to piss off.
HAHAHA! SUCK ON THAT OLD MAN!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:01:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Filthy = hands down sexiest Uber broad. She fights nasty too. I like that.
I'll fight you for her. I'm pretty sure I could take you what with the cancer leaving you all weakish.
Did I win the sister auction?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-02-08 18:00:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh man, brad is going to be so pissed.
7pm internet fight right here.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:58:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NO YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP... God damn it I suck at internet fighting.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:55:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oooooOOOOOOooooo get YOU love! Touched a nerve there.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:53:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Trust me, Elroy...I'm skipping the "photo montage".
PS> Jeanneee; when I want to hear the opinion of a raving lunatic, I'll call my mom. So shut the fuck up.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:49:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:46:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, if you do get "more bizarre", just make sure you lose your FUCKING CAMERA!
Funny how you keep coming back to it though, like you just cant help looking at my man-nipples. Would you like me to rub some ice on them for you next time?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:48:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PISS OFF SHLONGY
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:46:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, if you do get "more bizarre", just make sure you lose your FUCKING CAMERA!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:42:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:41:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
heh, a nice fresh UberStalker...I expect you to get more and more bizarre
you want me to get MORE bizarre than the shit I already write?! Well, I'll try, but I'll have to hire in extra brain-goblins.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:41:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh, a nice fresh UberStalker...I expect you to get more and more bizarre
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:33:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
He was never "gone".
He just stopped reading posts from the Uber shitbag brigade. Until now, I guess.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:27:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwww. I thought this was cute.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:27:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:24:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Aaaaaaaaand I seem to have given it a -2 anyway. Sorry bout that.
I thought you were being ironic...or possibly sarcastic, I dont know.
Its good to see the old schlongy back.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aaaaaaaaand I seem to have given it a -2 anyway. Sorry bout that.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:24:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:20:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Christ almighty, you suck ass.
---
And that amuses me
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:23:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Normally I would give something like this a -2, it being VD (Valentines Day) related and all... but you're just so cute and vulnerable, like a baby gazelle or something. CURSE MY FEMALE SUSCEPTIBILITY TO EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION!
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:23:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Filthy, I just want you to know that I would have done a post like this for you if I knew how.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:23:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for saying that a chest pimple is a scar (or a scar is a chest pimple?).
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:23:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You forgot receeding hairline and third nipple!
...but that's okay.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:20:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Christ almighty, you suck ass.