If Chain Letters Were Acceptable As Actual Communication... (1247 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetRating: 1.22 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TimeCop (View user info) at 2006-02-09 00:08:48 EST
I use Myspace and Facebook regularly, at least once a day. It's a good way to keep up with the goings on at my school and can OCCASIONALLY be a fun way to meet people. It would be great, if it wasn't for the damn chain letters.
You see, in Myspace there is a bulletin feature which allows one to post a message to be seen at the side of his or her friends' log in page. It features four items at a time. However, important things, such as concert dates and party invitations, get pushed down by little gems like this:
Date: Feb 8, 2006 3:47 PM
Subject: one word game
Body: One WORD game
This is the one WORD comment game. Since you opened this bulletin, you have to do the following things:
1) Go to the profile of the person who posted this bulletin
2) Leave a ONE WORD comment on their page (one that best describes them).
3) Repost this bulletin and see how many ONE word comments you get on your own page.
it's really easy... and don't you want to know what ONE word describes you? do it for me and i'll do it for you!!! :-)
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I can't go 30 seconds without something of this caliber fucking up my screen right when I was about to read "All-Instrumental Night hosted by Ninja Academy - Thursday." Sure, I could click to view all and check it out there, but my mouse is old, damnit. It only has so many clicks left in it and I'm saving those for grad school.
For about 30 seconds, I just thought "Thank God this is only acceptable on the internet." But then, for several more units of time (my watch only counts to 30 seconds, I'm saving the other 30 for grad school as well) I started thinking about of how life's most memorable moments would be ruined if this idiotic form of communication were allowed into the real world. For instance, your first speeding ticket:
"OMG DOOOD! U were going lik 2000 over the sped limit and now u got a tiket!!!!! If you dont go to court on 1/23/06, your totaly getting a bench warrant for yur arest! But u can pay the ticket if you forward this to 10 peple if you dont your going to jail and getting BUTSEX FOREVA!!!!"
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If a cop handed me a ticket like that, I'd laugh in his face. But then he'd probably unfriend me and write something mean about me in his profile or livejournal. But there are further situations when this would be entirely inappropriate, like your college acceptance letter:
"If you opend this, your going to college!!! All you have to do is send this lettr to 15 family and friends and collect $25000 and you will have school and poorness and random SEX for 4 YEARS! If you don't then your gonna grow up and work at Mcdonalds FOREVER!!!!!!"
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I'll admit, I did send my college acceptance letter to my family so they'd send me money and gifts of congratulations. My uncle sent me a gift certificate for an erotic message, which I thought would be awesome until I noticed it was printed on an inkjet and was only redeemable at my uncle's house in Indiana. He could of at least made a house call. C'mon, I got accepted to college, not the night shift at Chic-fil-A.
But how about one of the most important parts of your life? Or, rather the most important part AFTER your life: your obituary.
"Hieman Buttsteamer DIED yesterday omg because he didnt repost this. He was a good man. If he was still alive, he would want you to repost this with one word that describs him on his gravestone, and he will leave one word that describes you ON YOURS! Trust me this realy works I did it and I was freaked out. TRacy says it happened to her 2. So do it other wise youll goto hell and DIE for 200 YEARES!!!"
********
Actually, that's not too bad of an obituary. I've always wanted to be able to punish people from beyond the grave. That's why I want to be buried in a masoleum, sitting in a throne facing the door, which is hooked up by wire to the trigger of the machine gun I'm pointing at the entry. Sure, it'd only work once, but can you imagine the stories? "Hey man, don't go near that place." "Why, is there a ghost?" "No, but there's a corpse with a MOTHERFUCKING MACHINE GUN!!!" I'd be way cooler than I am now, as I have no masoleum, throne, or machine gun. All I've got is a steak knife, my IKEA desk chair, and a fort I made out of couch cushins in my apartment. And who am I supposed to stab? The guy who changes my filter? God bless him for my clean, relaitvely-asbestos free air.
So Ubersite, please take my advice: don't forward chain letters. It just makes you look like more of an idiot than we usually describe you as behind your back. You're not going to hell, you're not going to have bad luck in relationships for the next 200 years, and you're not going to get your account deleted.
By the way, if u dont forward this post to 200 people, your going to get 5 cancers and die single.
User Reviews
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-11-24 01:09:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You just gave me an idea for a post. +2 for idea
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2006-11-24 00:49:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha.
(Add me!)
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-11-24 00:17:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where you at, dawg?
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-19 04:28:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-03-19 04:14:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ILL34GL3 (user info) at 2006-03-19 02:17:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
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The hairy and tattooed back GO-rilla "banker" that likes to yell; Nigger! has returned.
Everyone here misses your retal -2's, so how about a trip down memory lane?
Submitted by ILL34GL3 (user info) at 2006-03-19 02:17:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-02-09 23:19:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
damn those doopid chain letters and the doopid people who send them!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-02-09 14:13:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
myspace is the root of everything that is wrong with the world
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-09 11:14:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY TIMECOP
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-02-09 08:15:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The chain mails I hate most are the ones that say "John Smith didn't send out this message and then his penis fell off" which seem to hold numerous time paradoxes, namely, how did the original author of the chainmail know what happened to somebody after they didn't resend the chainmail he is currently writing.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-02-09 07:45:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was kind of funny actually, wasn't expecting it to be at the begining.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2006-02-09 06:30:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All you have to do is send this lettr to 15 family and friends and collect $25000 and you will have school and poorness and random SEX for 4 YEARS!
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The random sex is where it is at.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-02-09 05:42:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked it.
So I forwarded to 50 of the people in my address book.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-09 02:27:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-02-09 02:15:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MYSPACE. It's not all emo bullshit.
_____________________________
You're right. I find it to be a (usually) nice way to connect with people. I have a Myspace account, myself; I'll admit it. And I would be ashamed of it, too, were it not for my account being a Myspace Music account, so I can share what I record. I also have a Facebook, but once again, there is redemption for me; it's a college Facebook, not a high school one.
But there's a little something called taste that prevents me from proclaiming it to the world for no reason. I don't think I would have ever told people at Ubersite about it if I didn't have to defend my point here, mainly because that would be just as bad as giving away my email address, or my birth certificate.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-02-09 02:15:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-09 00:34:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
I use Myspace and Facebook regularly
_______________________
This is something you NEVER ADMIT TO.
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THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MYSPACE. It's not all emo bullshit. You're just mad because you couldn't get as many people to accept your friends invites as everybody else.
And also, this post was ace.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-02-09 01:58:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah, and you really don't want five of me running around.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-09 00:34:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I use Myspace and Facebook regularly
_______________________
This is something you NEVER ADMIT TO.
Submitted by PoTtY (user info) at 2006-02-09 00:23:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I like most of your other posts, but this one is lacking.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-09 00:13:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Timecop, it's you. I already know about chain letters. They suck. I'm not getting a tombstone. I'm having my body dropped from a plane into the ocean on a surfboard. Well, maybe not an ocean because I'm not a fan of salt water. Maybe a lake, or a quarry.